Cooked up a fresh roast, Guten appetit!

Apr 17, 2017 11:52 PM

Allah Snack Bar. Never saw that one coming. Damn brilliant.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That sub should ban schoolkids from submitting themselves and/or each other.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

Does anyone ever wonders what the roasters may look like?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

#23 is far less likely to type rawr XD in everything than

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I love /roastme, as long as the roasts don't start with "you look like" because that's just lazy. So most of these are pretty good!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#8 now that's how you roast someone hahaha. Insult both of them based on looks and make it funny and original

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I don't like these. They are rarely clever enough to be worth the time.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

Doesn't #11 look like a Littlefinger junior?

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Most of these are new to me. +1

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

anyone know what mental hospital she went too i need to go there

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

She got that Sasha Grey vibe

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'm surprised that the last girl (supposedly with mental health issues) is asking for "roast me" comments. Thats got to be counter productiv

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The chick on the right in the first picture looks like the girl from How I Met Your Mother.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Ha! These are funny because they're mean.

9 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 9

That's the whole point. It's literally what they are asking for.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

well, they asked for it... literally

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Lost it at #22

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 3

Well, considering he'd be getting paid for something he couldn't likely give away...

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"Making guys jizz disappear after a gloryhole session doesn't make you a magician." Laughed so hard I woke the gf up.

9 years ago | Likes 40 Dislikes 3

Can someone explain the "hates poor people" one to me please

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

here for the same

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's definitely your typical takes dick for money roast. That's it. Not really anything special. Not sure what the other comment even is.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

title of the thread said she voted for trump because she hates poor people, but the roaster seems to have roasted the poster not the girl

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 4

Oh, so like someone willingly taking it up the ass? Maybe the poster was her bf? I still don't really get it but I appreciate you tryin hah

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

#16: First man inducted into the WNBA

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

WNBA?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Women's National Basketball Assoc.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I love how this isn't fresh, but instead stolen from my last 2 posts. Goodjob! Not even a day!

9 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 10

Dude, your post is way longer, has a worse title and the first picture isn't any good, so maybe get your head out of your ass and fuck off.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Goodjob! Your posts are worse. Maybe try harder

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

At least I don't cry about it under other peoples posts. Also that thing about throwing rocks and glass houses.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

SpongeBob !

9 years ago | Likes 74 Dislikes 1

Not even that harsh.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Damn accurate though.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I gasped audibly at that one. Poor lad.

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

What the fuck is a bathroom magician?

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

If you have to ask, you can't afford it

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I'm not sure but it sounds incredibly pornographic.

9 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

Didn't you read? He makes jizz disappear.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

So fresh I've never seen most of them. +1 for your efforts

9 years ago | Likes 569 Dislikes 11

And most of them went beyond the typical "UR UGLY N FAT" weak trash these are normally full of, to actual cutting critiques! Refreshing!

9 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 3

They did though. Most were brown=Isis and girl=slut or ugly.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 4

I think ive seen at least half before....

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

New to me I guess, though I admittedly got fed up with the repetitive garbage these collections became, and skipped a lot.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I don't get it

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 1

shes so cute !

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah...just seems like a non sequitur.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

You know whom I hate? People that hate people!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

There's only 2 things I hate in this world. Racism and the Dutch.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The implication is she got rich by whoring herself.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

title of the thread said she voted for trump because she hates poor people, but the roaster seems to have roasted the poster not the girl

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

Nah, it's about the girl and that she only has money because she's a golddigger. So she only has to lie down and spread her cheeks.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I got that part, but what was the joke? something about sex, I guess? but what did it have to do with the pic, poor people, or the friend?

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Roasters don't like people who sign their friends up to get roasted

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

As the guy below said... The roaster inferred that the girl got rich by getting paid for sex.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"female picture = slut lol get it" is the logic of a lot of really uncreative people. I don't know why people include them in dumps here.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

#9 is spot on w the Walt Disney comparison.

9 years ago | Likes 231 Dislikes 2

That was the best lol

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

and gene wilder too

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

yaaaasss, that one stood out to me a lot

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Why does he have a window in between his living room and kitchen?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Last one seems to be on the top right of the hot vs crazy graph.

9 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 2

Hold my beer!

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

i know they say dont stick your dick in crazy but thats my favorite place to stick it

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Interestingly enough I agree, really makes you wonder just how good the crazy ones are....

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The very best in my experience.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

yep they can make all the crazy worth while... its like paying for sex but instead of money its your sanity and self esteem and respect

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

+1 for making me feel like this

9 years ago | Likes 341 Dislikes 3

Producer: Greg Daniels, Producer: Greg Daniels, Producer: Greg Daniels, Prod-- ooh wait.

9 years ago | Likes 57 Dislikes 1

Who's the producer?

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Bill Gates

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

not sure

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I think some guy named Dan... Dan Greggels?

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Daniel Gregs

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Drake Gayniels

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Oh my god my husband's photo is on here. This is so fucking hilarious

9 years ago | Likes 81 Dislikes 6

Dot

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

I hope it's the magician. He looks like he'd be fun.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Is it either #11 or #29 ? Those are the only ones who maybe look old enough to be married.

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

It's 11

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Thank you

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Dude you have to tell us which one

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

It's #11 -- the cute one ;)

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

Good ole Chester.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Which one?

9 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 0

Spongebob?

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

[deleted]

[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Oct 21, 2024 11:32 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Nice work, ForeveraKritik!

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

stalk much??

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

well fucking sherlock right here

9 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 0

Ur married to fucking LittleFinger?

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

how... how.. how did you do that

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 3

It's not that complicated. Click on her profile, submitted images, look for one that might be a pic of her husband. Probably took 3 minutes.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

4 minutes, actually.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

"Couldn't be butcher." Ha ha.

9 years ago | Likes 1732 Dislikes 8

Highlight of the post! :D

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wow. I didn't get that one untill I saw your comment :-)

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

The best of the litter.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I showed that one to my wife. She didn't find it as amusing as me. Or even a little *sigh*

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

OH i thought they were trying to say she wants to look like rhea butcher but couldnt

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

She couldn't be any butcher. Any of them. All the types.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My friend didn't get that one

9 years ago | Likes 33 Dislikes 2

That's actually one of the best roasts I've seen, most are just like "you look like you'd be a cunt", but that was actually a play on words

9 years ago | Likes 230 Dislikes 4

It feels like most of these are either "you're a slut", you're retarded", or "you're gay" it gets kind of boring after a while

9 years ago | Likes 79 Dislikes 1

1/ I don't really understand how the gay ones are insults. Beyond that, the issue is none of these roasts are personal. Calling someone

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 2

2/ a slut isn't a roast unless there's truth behind it. You have to target something that's true, something they're insecure about.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 2

Found the gay slut.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

The "best" ones are when it's an attractive girl so they're just like "you look like you have a terrible personality and no friends"

9 years ago | Likes 55 Dislikes 1

I swear this comment chain is in every "roast me" dump. Not that I disagree tho

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

9 years ago | Likes 40 Dislikes 0

Is this from parks & rec?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Lol nope youtube i think

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#10 that might be a compliment

9 years ago | Likes 294 Dislikes 14

A backhanded compliment is still a roast. Strangers have told me I look like Leonardo DiCaprio. My friends say I look like Leo with leukemia

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's exactly what I thought

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Lowkey sort of yeah

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

They're usually thinly veiled compliments like, "I bet you banged 20 guys before you high school."

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I would have gone with a constipated Hilary Swank with Bell's Palsey

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

did you see the two in the back ground one looks like a girl version of that guy from perks of being a wallflower and the other looks like

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

amy fairer fowler from big bang theory

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

depends how autistic

9 years ago | Likes 39 Dislikes 1

Exactly, it has degrees. Some people with ASD go unnoticed as their social skills are only slightly impaired. Others have it severe..

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I wouldn't turn down a screechy handjob from her

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Dustin Hoffman, 'Rain Man,' look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Counted toothpicks, cheated cards. Autistic, sho'. Not retarded.

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

You know Tom Hanks, 'Forrest Gump.' Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

But he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping-pong competition. That ain't retarded.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Peter Sellers, "Being There." Infantile, yes. Retarded, no. You went full retard, man.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

She looks like Simmons from Agents of Shield. Then again, Simmons looks like Emma Watson and Keira Knightley mixed together

9 years ago | Likes 108 Dislikes 0

YES!!

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I thought the same. But a bit... puffier?

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Bloated?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's exactly what I was thinking

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Aye! That's what I thought lol

9 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

yup. she pretty kawaii.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 17

Spot on! She's even dressed like Simmons.

9 years ago | Likes 47 Dislikes 0

Yeah! The resemblance is uncanny.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

It might just be me, but I find the shirt and sweater combo very attractive on people

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 1

It's probably because it isn't really meant to be attractive.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What about cows?

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0