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hungry? stick a egg in your hot coffee and get insta-boiled egg!
hmmm
organize your meal plan with the daily planner thingy.
shred that shit over your plate of cheese
build a house of pencils at random.
lonely and pathetic? why not print out yourself a date!
hmmm
who needs clean noodles? I DON'T.
fuck.
"hey honey. I'll be home late, I'm blow drying a fucking steak. Call you back sweetpea."
what? I just..
seriously. what the hell is going on?
cowcannon
I almost believed boiled egg
TranssexualUnicorns
This is a bit silly
IratetheD
not the cheesy poofs you got the computer in them!!! do you know how dirty the computer is... mine is filthy...
goodguyC
I was very skeptical of the first one....and then it became apparent that I was justified.
nomadicway
Credit: from vice
feeblesmisadventures
Found the original on Vice, tongue is firmly in cheek with both but yours is better; http://www.vice.com/read/food-hacking-at-the-office
Onlyhereforthelaughs
Rolodex. It's for contact info. Not a daily planner thingy.
highandshy
That is what I am using the paper cutter for tom! Fuck it!
itdoesntmatternoneofthismatters
TIL pencils are food.
MrPredator
robertsonofpaul
As someone in an office right now, I can confirm all of this.
dutchoven
Necessity is the mother of invention
ConspicuousSpellingError
*Clever and delicious ways to destroy office equipment
TheDogeMan
As someone who works in an office, I can confirm all of these
poodiggah
This is literally my favourite post on Imgur. Tears of joy flowing down my cheeks.
snotabooga
Fuck you rich businessmen and your posh ass gourmet shit.
IamPeeved
Source: http://www.vice.com/read/food-hacking-at-the-office actually made by a friend of a friend of mine, apparently.
frostwarrior
Love how the post went from "tips" to just "the fuck is this".
xXRandomYoXx
I can't even.... I'm fucking crying. This.. just... wha-??????
PrettyKitty1029
OMG I HAD TO CLAP MY HAND OVER MY MOUTH. I am laughing soooo hard.
NotAllOfUsCanBeMichaelFreakingScott
guys. guys the bottom one. it's mac and cheese. get it?!?!?!
Todesjaeger00
Mac n Cheetos
ComicSansAlert
Food hack: hide bacon around the office. Ron Swanson approved. http://youtu.be/mc6PMCx36Qw?t=27s
hitmanunknown
I want to work in this guys office!
hitmanunknown
Mostly because I'm hungry
kirbyonitsbelly
shit, i totally forgot i had to blow dry my steak at work today.
keyblader1985
Best one, and that's saying a lot. "I'm blow drying a fucking steak."
zbaerenlovesme
This is where i fucking lost it man hahahaha
paddymcnasty
That one got me laughing my ass off
kirbyonitsbelly
my boss is going to kill me once he finds out
BarneyTrouble
That boiled egg one though..haha, I'm so glad no one knows how stupid I am.
CrabWallet
Everyone knows, and we all talk about it as soon as you leave the room.
BarneyTrouble
Hahahaha, I like you.
CrabWallet
I like YOU!
SatansGapingAsshole
HELP i just fucked up our office's shredder
dantemirror
You done fucking up
CaptianObvious
IT here, just install Google Ultron.
cwaldo39
Did you try turning it on and off? Here, let me install adobe reader
kirbyonitsbelly
i got the reference!
Studoku
Use a bigger shredder to shred the evidence.
Splitbolt
You need more upvotes
akujin
I enjoyed this. Also, the planner thing is called a rolodex.
dudeskis
for you young'uns, its where people used to keep all their contacts before cell phones.
squishiebunnie
Rolodex..I feel old
IdownvotePeopleWhoComplainAboutDownvoters
Not to be confused with a holodeck
ThingsWhitePeopleDo
I'm at least 90% sure its called a 'planner thing'
Einstein9073
Only if it's brand-name
WhatzitTooya
#yolodex
ugunaeatdat
OP has no prior work experience.
disgr4ce
Loling because a rolodex doesn't even have anything to do with planning
akujin
That's what I was thinking. Unless you're planning on calling someone.
DoctorBatmanHolmes
DO they even still sell those? I haven't seen one since the 90's. And that's only cuz my parents kept it from the 80's.
blitherypoop
That's a brand name. In general they're called rotary files.
Cherrybomb29
Thanks! I always wondered if people actually used them.
baconsmellsreallygood
They at least still buy them. I work at a office supply store.
wessyfbaby
Haven't heard rolodex in years.
StarmanUltra
According to some people it's called a "scryer" http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/?p=1313
GerryBuilt
I'm 83% sure "planner thing" is slightly more amusing than "Rolodex"...
ScopesMouthwashTrial
bolognadex
PinkDalek
Salamidex.
jenklk2
The first one kinda looked like a good idea, considered it, then scrolled and realized the bullshit
Alah2
I'm ashamed to admit I thought this was a serious post until I got to the second one!
[deleted]
[deleted]
lagrickjames
This is actually useful! Thanks +1
sillysalamander
Might actually work to boil the egg, but your coffee wouldn't be safe to drink afterwards
FeversAndMirrors
How so?
ubermetallic
*bullshittery
uzerok
Yes, insta-boiled finger sounds delicious.
carewyllie
I still want to test the egg one, just to see...
soukmania
Egg flavoured coffee and coffee flavoured raw egg.
MurdocMiki
The coffee won't be hot enough and you will end up with a egg-flavoured coffee and a coffee-flavoured rare egg.
Faylom
It would not work, need 4 min on a rolling boil, a cup of scald would do nothing
Lluminair
Cup of scald. Hehehe.
DezTurkish
A refrigerated egg would cool your coffee down way before it was boiled through. Plus- shitty coffee egg for breakfast :(
Dontbesilly
If you thought for a second that that would work, you should think about retiring from imgur surfing
jenklk2
I retired for the evening good sir and now I have returned yes I can see that my brain was mush at the time of this comment
Dontbesilly
Excellent.
itxtalone
the egg would work. but may or may not be coffee flavored
GeeUknit
Would be. Egg shell is porous
itxtalone
egg shells are porous ?
GeeUknit
Yup. Have you ever dyed eggs with the easter egg dye stuff? When you peel the egg the outer layer of the boiled egg inside is dyed too
itxtalone
you boil your Easter eggs ?
nobodyblindedme
i thought "boiled an egg!? did they brew this coffee in the fires of mount doom?"
drawsmepants
I thought that was where all coffee was brewed? In the same doomroom as the hotpockets, and pizza rolls, and the anythingyouputinamicrowave
dickpuns
Coffee is boiling hot when you pull it out of the coffee maker.
Flucksy
Mine isn't. Where'd you buy yours?
nobodyblindedme
but not enough to instantly cook an egg - which takes around 8 minutes
dickpuns
Yeah I know but it technically is boiling hot. Even if it was hotter it'd heat the egg too fast and wouldn't cook it through all the way.
xrazorbladex
if it's hot enough to boil an egg, you shouldn't stick your finger in it
SantasAnagram
That's nonsense: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bi-Up8Xuh9c
ldraptor
that was my first though when seeing it...
dickpuns
coffee is 100 C right after you take it out of the pot.
Shoura
When it touches beans, yes. Regular drip ones have ~70C coffee
Flucksy
Yeah, your coffee pot is broken. Mine gets nowhere near that hot.
brownribbon
No it isn't. Coffee brews most effectively around 90C.
Barkinsons
Yeah, but it's still not enough to boil an egg, the coffee doesn't hold that much energy, anyway I'm way too lazy to calculate it now
underpantswizard
Well when you hardboil eggs you 1. boil water. 2. Put eggs in for like 2-5 min 3. turn heat off and let them sit for 10-15min...
droomph
Something about joules per gram Celsius
xrazorbladex
Yea exactly, you would need it to stay at 100 C for at least 6 mins
p3nis
That's what she said....?
QuadrilateralEnix
relevant? http://www.ballsgohere.com/uploads/f7540b0053.jpg
someguyonthissite
I was looking for this.
TheBlackBane
"Daddy, do girls lay eggs?" "Funny story about your mother and eggs..."
BigDickPodrick
This isn't what people in offices do?
Aaaargh
Some people in offices crop their photos, dammit.
Saxit
After have been watching The Office for a few weeks, this is actually not far from...
faiora
As a city employee: We have to put out an RFP for packing cheezies, and we usually end up with the generic cheese-its instead of hawkins.
BETTYFUCKINWHITE
As a Government employee, I use the shit from the Save-A-Lot grocery store.
AnActualPenis
People in offices look directly at the 4th wall and make "done" faces.
daredevilearth
My friend once stuck his sack in a pot of coffee...BOOM disability.
EwokOnAUnicorn
Right now I moved offices and don't have a working computer till it comes in Tuesday. Yes thisis what iI'll be doing.
eviscera
It's what I do...
VaryingVolition
oh...
MyLifeisaComplicatedDrinkingGame
Yes. Until one day you snap
HailMammon
ONE DAY. My dream.
asnakeman
It's what I do.
GoronsRock
As a people in offices, I can confirm this is exactly what we do.
IWishIHadABetterNickName
Using the computer to cook the steak goes faster...
dirtmop
Completely.
spacerocks
http://streetcouch.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/business-cat-14.jpg
JackTheBongRipper
I second this.
wuakamole
I was just waiting for Jack to rip the bong