What if movie directors start working as Chef

Jun 19, 2017 4:57 AM

tirisal2

Views

389470

Likes

12135

Dislikes

283

That David Lynch clam placement ...

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Roger Corman "I microwaved some McDonald's for you"

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Ridley Scott? I waited and waited...

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Perfect looking glossy food magazine ready photo realistic food but once you bite on it you realise it's fake, plastic and empty

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

@op where is the source?

8 years ago | Likes 324 Dislikes 4

Dot

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I appreciate that Wes Anderson is centered in a symmetrical frame for his

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I had to go back to notice it, but I love it.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Holy Shit, Peter Jackson! Calm the fuck down. I'm getting heart palpitation from just looking at that.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Werner Herzog: Something almost completely raw and unwashed and exotic with living animals in it. Add some drugs and alcohol.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Why did I hear that in his voice as I read it?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Burton sauce is crude oil

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

It's actually just liquid eyeliner

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

A premium blend of liquid eyeliner, lambs blood, and eau d'Depp.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

- Luc Besson

8 years ago | Likes 1036 Dislikes 4

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Techno remixes of popular classic songs constantly blasting while you eat.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

v

8 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

This is accurate.

8 years ago | Likes 52 Dislikes 0

Cheekan! Good!

8 years ago | Likes 40 Dislikes 0

I actually read this in her voice. +1

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I fucking love Nikita.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

(That gif is the 5th element, I know) Where's the Nikita Gifs?

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I was going to say the milk glasses clanking but nope. That's "The Professional" so dunno.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Jodorowsky: Complicated mexican food, probably laced with LSD

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It's like somebody had a really funny idea but gave it to someone who's occasionally mildly entertaining.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Stanley Kubrick - Eat this meal 127 times until I say its right.

8 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Darren Aronofsky: Premium cut filet mignon with a side of garlic roasted potatoes and green beans sauteed in a Xanax-Adderol sauce.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Wait...xanax and adderal? Wouldn't they kind of counteract each other?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Mixing uppers and downers fucks you up real bad. Much like the plots and visuals of Rquiem for a Dream, Black Swan, and The Fountain.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

had to scroll twice but no Guy Ritchie? My favorite director :(

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Bare-knuckle-boxing and some old overly priced guns

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Fish'n'Chips served by someone with a cockney accent.

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Now we need one for Lars Von Trier.

8 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

"A well balanced meal the whole family can enjoy" .. Oh yes, let's take the kids out for a nice evening of Schindler's List!

8 years ago | Likes 583 Dislikes 7

I watched jaws as a toddler. Nightmares guaranteed!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

When discussing filmographies. Schindlers List is like a bottle of wine. It can exist at a family dinner table without ruining the meal.

8 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

I watched that as a kid. I wouldn't use the word "Enjoy" to describe my experience but I think kids can understand it.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Took the three year old to Jaws marathon!. Cracking good time!

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Depending on the age of the family it's an appropriate movie. I think I was 12 when I saw it. We learned aboutthe holocaust in school at9/10

8 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

It would be educational.

8 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Every kids in high school should watch it.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

In Germany we did watched it in High School. It was mandatory

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

well tbh they put a bottle of coke as drink. Doesn't really fit for well balanced either...

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Yeah, this is a pretty freakin' biased view of each director. More of society's view of each director instead of being based on their work.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

I watched Shindler's List as a kid. With my guardian, obvs. Not a fun time, but it helped us discuss our family history a bit.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Great flavor, nutty, but a hint of ash?

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

No hint about it, it's actually compressed ash, but cooked in a very special grease that really sets the palette.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I saw it in my eighth grade English class. I understood it just fine- it was pretty heavy (obviously) but my teacher had geared us up to it

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

In that regard my meal was soaking wet with a lot of salt. :'(

8 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 0

You jerked off while watching Schindler's List!?

8 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 1

Who doesn't, am I right?

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

And we can get some Saving Private Ryan and Amistad on the way home!

8 years ago | Likes 154 Dislikes 0

Munich

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Followed by Jaws right before we head to the beach!

8 years ago | Likes 57 Dislikes 0

I saw all of these as a kid. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

On a War Horse

8 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

in Munich

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I don't know enough about who's behind what movies to rate this, but it looks like a lot of effort.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I understand some of them. George Lucas, not so much. If it is referencing the prequels, then the re-re-re-re-reheated apple pie was decent.

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 4

I think the re-re-re heating is the special editions.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

People really love bashing George Lucas for some reason. The guy created Star Wars and wrote for Indiana Jones. His more recent work 1/2

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 3

might be less good, but the prequels are not nearly as bad as people say they are, and the original trilogy isn't as perfect as they say 2/2

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 3

I'm not a big fan of his movies, but yeah, I'd go to Michael Bay's restaurant. And order the Michael Baycon Cheeseburger.

8 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 1

It would give you "Explosive Diarrhea" . . .

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Quentin is much more than just blood and gore, he's also a master of subtext

8 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 6

He'd have a chain of themed restaurants if we're going by his latest films. He keeps doing period pieces in older genres.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They are all set in the same universe

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Also, the food might taste like feet

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

You can't spell subtext without buttsex.

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 3

As a fellow scientist: I would approve this comment for publication in a major journal.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thank you for your contribution

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Not in his last four films. Four first ones were master pieces.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 5

The hateful eight did have subtext in it

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Photography and Set production were superb as well. As much a character as any of the actors I'd say.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Chris Nolan is incomplete. "An exquisite cuisine that makes you feel smart while you are eating it... but it's really just another burger"

8 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 3

I agree. He's great, but yeah.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Was looking for someone to say it.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Of course Cameron would be the first to 5D.

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The tickets at the theatre will be like $70 because the glasses actually temporarily alter your DNA for the best viewing experience.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Yeah but you'll never want to leave once you experience it.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I bet Kevin Smith's would have burgers, fries and dicks... 37 of them.

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Brings you lasagna at work.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

All served up from Mooby's.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

What about m.night smalalinglong?

8 years ago | Likes 451 Dislikes 12

It's just a Wonder Ball

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

To be fair, I did enjoy Split.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Amazing pictures on the menu, week old hot pockets on the plate.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

A perfectly fine meal but then someone turns up and pisses all over your dessert.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I made one for him

8 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 0

You are the meal

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

A bathtub filled with popcorn twists, twizzlers, and rotini pasta.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He hid the food in the context.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Shamalamadingdong

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

A cake that turns out to be frosted crispietreats

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Cardboard with a twist of lime.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Duck surprise

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

A roast, but he may have hidden razor blades inside. You'll have to eat to find out!

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Or as Mike from Red Letter Media once called him, "M.Night Shamalmadam"

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Tofurkey, served with non-alcoholic beer

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

A pile of delicious food that's actually styrofoam painted to look like food.

8 years ago | Likes 71 Dislikes 1

And when you bite into the styrofoam, Shamalamadingdong pops out to exclaim "What a tweest!"

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Slamalamadingdong right back at ya.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

You start with a nice steak only to realise half way through theres a twist, as its not beef but actually alien.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Roast mutton with potatoes and pork fat gravy, genetically engineered to taste like Velveeta "cheese", with a Twist Up from the dollar tree.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

You are the meal.

8 years ago | Likes 62 Dislikes 1

Damn you, beat me to it

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What a twist!

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

A pretty ok meal. Then you order desert and they bring you a different desert. What a twist!

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

IT WAS LEMON MERINGUE ALL ALONG

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Dun dun dunnn.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You know that scene from Hook when they have a massive feast and food fight but the food isn't actually there? That.

8 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

Good

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook!

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

What's a paramecium?

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I'll tell you what a paramecium brain is. It's a one-celled critter with no brains that CAN'T FLY! Don't mess with me, man, I'm a lawyer!

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

An absolutely delicious turkey made to look like a velvet cake, to which he has lost the original recipe and desperately tries to recreate.

8 years ago | Likes 110 Dislikes 0

We do not speak of that, nope, let's just appreciate the original recipe and nothing more.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I don't think I can take it, 'cause it took so long to bake it. And now I'll never have that recipe again. Oh noooo!

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Ah, there's the accurate one.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

His last few movies were good. Especially split. Does it mean he found the recipe again

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I kinda liked Devil.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I honestly like all his bad movies. In a so bad it's good way. Except last airbender. That one just makes me angry.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

More likely that he found a different recipe for baking something that looks like something else.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

His name really isn't very difficult to spell

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 3

Its not difficult, but shamalamadingdong is far more humourous

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 4

The joke is older than dirt and actually kinda racist. "lol get it guys I can't pronounce funny foreign name!"

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 3

Thank you

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Are you calling me a racist?

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

If the shoe fits...

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

Not necessarily calling you a racist, but your joke is.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"You're actually eating band-aids... It gets worse.." M. Night Shaymalan

8 years ago | Likes 79 Dislikes 1

Unbreakable and Split were pretty good. The rest? Like ordering sushi and getting dead goldfish.

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I loved the village...

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 3

True. And The Visit. And The Sixth Sense. He does creepy quite well. Sci-fi, not so much.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

I liked the IDEA, but it would have been better as an outer limits episode than a 2 hr movie.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Me too

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The 6th sense....

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

As long as he doesn't touch my childhood favorite cartoon, The Last Airbender.

8 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

Cartoon? You mean they made a cartoon out of that dope ass m night shamalmalaman live action movie?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Dont woory no one will ever make a movie about that. Its safe in its original form.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Coen Brothers, boring?! TAKE IT FUCKINGBACK

8 years ago | Likes 76 Dislikes 9

Good for you? their movies are demoralizing.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 6

Wife and I just watched Burn After Reading and we were dying from start to finish. Fargo is next this weekend.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Totally. Wes Anderson was spot on, though.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I understand people could say it looks boring at first glance. It isn't boring though.

8 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

I have to agree. Until, you know, wood chippers get involved. Or Kylo Ren singing backup vocals. Or Sam Elliott narrating the opening.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Yeah anyone that think their films are boring is absolutely braindead

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Coen Brothers films are smarter than Christopher Nolan films.

8 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 2

[deleted]

[deleted]

8 years ago (deleted Mar 3, 2019 1:51 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

The Coen Brothers pepper their films with multiple levels of allusion to high and low art as a well as classical myths and legends.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sometimes purely to troll film critics and academics who get way too into their films.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I love both, but acting and dialogue in Nolan are great. I think Nolan has a unique mainstream angle. Coen is more indy-ish appeal.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Who the fuck would call Fargo boring?

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

+1 Or No Country For Old Men, or Blood Simple, or...

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I love a lot of movies by the coen bros but Fargo i absolutely failed to appreciate. Even tho everyone around me goes "it's the best!"

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Only one I disagreed with

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I mean, did you see Barton Fink?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

While I can appreciate it as quality I would still classify Barton Fink as "boring".

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thank you

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What, no Cronenberg?

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

I feel a cronenberg chef would looking as underwhelming as David lynch here

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

you see the monkey brain in "Temple of Doom" ? That's it. With chocolate filled intestines.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I would be up for some chocolate sausages.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I feel like Hayao Miyazaki doesn't get enough recognition just because his movies are technically Anime.

8 years ago | Likes 51 Dislikes 8

Anime is actually extremely more accessible outside of Japan than their live-action movies, there are several absolute genius directors.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

His studio's films are masterpieces.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Miyazaki hates anime, and doesn't think what he does is anime. Just because it's animated doesn't mean it's "anime", which is a style.

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 4

More specifically he hates otakus and their influence on the anime industry. His works are without a doubt anime even if he doesn't think so

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

It would surprise me a lot if he really hated Otakus. They're sad creatures. Miyazaki just argues for living in the real world, too.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I heard that anime is a mistake line was faked.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's the obsessiveness of otaku in general, his comments about that were in regard to plane otaku, during The Kingdom of Madness and Dreams

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The subject of that often misquoted and 'shopped 'it's all trash' line was about the Mitsubishi A6M Zero fighter plane.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

His main criticisms about the current state of the animation industry is the lack of 'real' characters- too unrealistic for his ideology

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What? You mean a group of teenagers can't still attend high school but be highly-trained assassins and run 2mi uphill w/o losing breath?!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

To be honest, don't know who Uwe Boll is, but this doesn't make me want to find out.

8 years ago | Likes 2932 Dislikes 26

biggest german movie maker! germanwood! german movies, so good! mother is leni riefenstaal!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 3

Alone in the dark (with Christian Slater and Tara Reid), A Dungeon Siege Tale (with Jason Statham, Ray Liotta, Ron Perlman), Bloodrayne, etc

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You know the plot from "The Producers"? He does it in real life, with movies, only they aren't as good as Springtime for Hitler.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The guy is a trained casual boxer and enjoys challenging critics to matches claiming its PR and supposed to be a fun fight when its not. 1/2

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He beat up a lot of untrained critics that didnt expect that, while chickening out on fights with people that train as well like Seanbaby./2

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Overall the guy is a mighty piece of shit. And yes: He made his movies to exploit taxes. Of course there is no law against that...

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He made (terrible) movies using video game liscences that he got on the cheap, as a german tax law scam. He doesnt work as often now.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

He spoke at our university: He tried to make a movie in Africa about the civil war. It failed due to death threats against the actors.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He made the crappy Blood Rayne movie. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0383222/?ref_=nm_flmg_prd_39

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

As others have said he's a shit director and when people called him out on it he called the industry bullshit and quit because they 1/2

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

closed the tax loopholes he was exploiting.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wikipedia has him down as a retired director and restaurateur, oddly enough. I think that's a restaurant I'll be avoiding.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

I envy the fact that you did not know who Uwe Boll is.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Bloodrayne has made me appreciate every other movie I have ever seen, ever...

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

TIL there are Postal and Far Cry films and the Far Cry one has fucking Til Schweiger.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Didn't he get all butt hurt because he couldn't get enough money for a film on kickstarter? I remember he threw a tantrum for some reason.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Now he roasts fans and kickstarter for a living - https://youtu.be/VT1J65KHX8E

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He made the movie to BloodRayne. With some caffeine, aspirin and a lot of drugs the movie sucks a little bit less.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

...oh how I envy you

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Notable films of his include "Postal" and "Bloodrayne". I have also personally seen his film "Rampage". They're all famously bad.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You may be interested to know, he actually does own a restaurant

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You're better that way. Believe me

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Just such bad movies

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Haha - my sentiments exactly.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

All you need to know is Mario Bros movie

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

His only good movie is Rampage. I actually recommend it. Please do not watch his FarCry movie.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He's literally the worst. In addition to making terrible movies he sometimes fights people that call him out

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

May you never descend into the spiral of awful film making that Uwe Boll is responsible for.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Trash director. Blood, gore, bad acting. Friend of mine played a zombie in one of his movies. Boll directed Postal.

8 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 1

To his credit he did cast Anthony Bourdain in FarCry :P

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wait, the chef?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah, when he was doing No Reservations in Vancouver http://imgur.com/iicMk9C

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Uwe Boll is an awful director, who knows he is an awful director. He hams it up anyway. Somehow, he keeps getting funding...

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He gets investors because he exploits german tax laws kinda like a real life The Producers

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

theres a movie named blubberella thats all you need to know

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

tbh that guy sounds hillarious

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He's a shitty director. Even worse than Michael Bay.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hey now, Michael Bay made The Rock. A movie so good it makes up for all his terrible ones.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

True. I enjoyed The Rock and Bad Boys, but two good deeds dont make up for it.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

He's the Ed Wood of our time, minus the fun.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

Most of his films are total shit, but the Rampage trilogy is fucking awesome!!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He beat up Lowtax, the head goon at somethingawful.com in a boxing match after the website was harsh on him.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

which movie director doesn`t want to punch his critics?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Think "video game movies" and you're more or less up to speed.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And according to Wikipedia he's also a restaurateur.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You're one of the lucky ones.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Makes shitty video game movies on purpose to exploit a German tax law. He also challenges critics to a boxing match to beat them up.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Most of his movies are complete shit. Only two are good. Rampage is about maniacal dude, who shot a lot of people for almost no reason (1/2)

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

And there is Postal which is very dark comedy which is very on point about every damn joke. Uwe even starred there as himself and was killed

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Postal was complete trash, but the games were similar trash, so I can't really fault him for delivering...

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well, the games were full of political humor, and so is the movie. And cliches, so many cliches

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He's the guy who makes all the video game movies that suck ass by using tax loopholes

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Douchebag also challenged critics to boxing matches and then backed out like a pussy when critics (Seanbaby) who could fight challenged him.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

He is a shitty director who gets a shitty attitude when people say he's a shitty director.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

German 'director'. Deals with critics by challenging them to a boxing match and beats them to mush. Notorious for his film adaptations of(1)

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

And when he found out one of his critics would actually be able to defend themselves in the ring, he cancelled that particular match.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

What a scumbag.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

video games (f.e Doom and Blood Rayne)

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

They made Doom into a movie??

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Do not watch it. He is the reason people think video game movies are shit. The sole reason.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Now if I told you I loved the Sharknado movies, would that change anything? Shitty movies are my bag, man

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yes, but sorry, it wasn't by Boll. Just thought so because it is an awful movie adaptation ^^

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

A shitty video game based movie director from the early 2000s. He exploited a tax law in the US to make crap movies that studios (1/2)

8 years ago | Likes 171 Dislikes 5

Have they never watched the producers? If he hit by accident that is literally the plot of the classic Broadway smash Springtime for Hitler

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Tax law in Germany*

8 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 1

Sorry, yes, thanks for the correction.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Early 2000's? Rampage: President Down came out last year, his supposedly last movie.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Jesus the rampage movies are crazy and terrible all at once. I was surprised when i saw it on netflix

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

God, I thought Hollywood wised up and canned him. Now I'm just more angry.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The fuck? They're STILL hiring him? Are they STILL needing to throw that much money away?

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

He quit but then came back because he found modern movies shit, then his movies failed(no tax loopholes) so he said "fuck you", again.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Can we get him to try to fight a freight train? I mean, we could limit it to 60mph.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Could claim 100% as a tax write-off and anything made was profit. Look up Bloodrayne and you'll see.

8 years ago | Likes 147 Dislikes 0

That's a name I haven't heard in a dog's age.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Bloodrayne was HIS Fault!? Mother fucker!

8 years ago | Likes 44 Dislikes 0

Then we've felt the same pain...

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Isn't that the plot to The Directors ?

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Exactly. Only theirs ended up good if i remember correctly. His stink on ice

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Do you mean The Producers? They wanted to intentionally flop musicals to fraud investors and keep the investments.

8 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

You are correct, I apologise. Bravo good sir/madam.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Director also went on the record with "We could hire extras, but real prostitutes are cheaper, and we can party afterwards"for dungeon siege

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

The only clip you ever need to watch involving him. https://youtu.be/Bi3aMKjBAwI

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

a german guy following the american dream of selling well advertised crap to stupid people

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 2

Haha, glib and spot on!

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That's... remarkably apt. You could substitute 'orange' for 'german' and have a presidential candidacy.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

He made the house of the dead movie.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Oh gawd I remember that one, it was AWFUL. Shitty pop-tarts for sure.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hes literally the reason we will probably never get a good video game movie.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Warcraft was pretty good though

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Oh yeah, I forgot about that movie.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

stop lying to yourself.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Rampage is pretty good.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

I enjoyed it.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

I enjoyed a few of the films he's put out. The others that people complain about I haven't seen.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's the only one I've seen and I saw it before I really knew who he was.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I looked him up before commenting and saw that I've seen Rampage and the first BloodRayne film.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I want to see the sequel so bad but its directed by Uwe Boll so.....

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

All three of them are directed by him.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He challenged his critics to boxing matches. A few accepted but thought it was for fun, but Uwe had trained hard and WANTED to beat them up.

8 years ago | Likes 53 Dislikes 1

"trained hard" Uwe has held heavyweight titles. He tried to wreck the critic, theres footage and its fucked up.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

He was going to "spar" with one of the hosts of Attack of the Show!...except a producer got a 6'3" muay thai and jiu jitsu-trained 1/2

8 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

critic ready to fight in the host's place and Uwe cancelled his appearance. 2/2

8 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

Mhm. Seanbaby to be specific. Though most of the articles actually saying any details about it have mysteriously been pulled from websites.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Alright, in Uwe Boll's defense, you can't hire a mercenary to fight a challenge in your place

8 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 1

It happens all the time in cinema. Game of Thrones being a popular recent example and that one was to the death!

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

He wasn't a merc. Seanbaby is a critic. Who happens to be a half-giant.

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

oh shit it was Seanbaby? that's hilarious....I miss his cracked column....I miss old cracked...

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Can't you? I thought hiring mercs was a well-established tradition in trial by combat.

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Technically, you're not meant to pay your champion. Naming someone hired as a guest on the show as a champion would be fine though.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

RIP Lowtax

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Respect for Lowtax for actually going through with it, Uwe said he was going to train him, and didn't. It was a nasty and childish of Boll.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"Nasty and childish" is kinda Boll's bag.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

RIP SA in general

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

Ha, I didn't think anyone here read SA.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It was basically the source of everything on the whole internet years ago. I assume there are several here who knows of SA.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Should post a SA golden age dump honestly.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The old Fashion Swat or Photoshop Phriday articles would probably work on here.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

please do.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

are there stairs in your house?

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I am protected.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Heh lurked for a decade or so and never heard that one. Maybe because I never paid the 10bux, not a registered goon.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm protected.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

No Kubrick makes me sad.

8 years ago | Likes 54 Dislikes 1

No Ashgar Farhadi either

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Waygu steak with psilocybin mushroom sauce, served on a white plate at a black table in a room with red walls.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

No Tommy Wiseau eithet :(

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Kubrick is like ratatouille from the Pixar movie, but instead of reliving childhood memories you have an existential crisis.

8 years ago | Likes 55 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I love the smell of napalm in the oven

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Kubrick is awesome, but I was too busy looking for wes anderson to notice. Now I'm sad too.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I know. I was also looking for Terry Gilliam.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Gilliam, Kubrick, and Wes Anderson are probably my favourite directors.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Mine too

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Kubrick's meal isn't there because it keeps on being taken back to the kitchen to be cooked again from scratch until absolutely perfect.

8 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

Gordon Fucking Ramsay.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The placement of the meal components are also strangely symmetrical and create a sense of unease.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

No scorsece either

8 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Do you even have to ask?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Local authentic Italian chef that can also really knock it out of the park when you try the burger.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

New york butcher prepares raging bull for taxi driver's pet wolf but goodfellas steal it on wall street

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That was an adventure. Forgot Departed, though.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0