Imadethisaccounttopost
247898
7104
124
me irl
I respect Google for putting Suicide Prevention first as the top results..
Bing on the other hand... yea.
Just remember, Suicide isn't an answer, and it affects more than just you.. but everyone you've touched in some way in your life.
risiblewilbury123456
yeah, hate on bing for actually answering the users query
saltyvinegarstrokes1
Meanwhile
RoutemasterFlash
Stop verbing nouns, dammit! >:-(
Kickinwing0
Bing shows resulta you are searching for and google shows what it wanta you to see bing is clearly better
zykelator
Everyone has a right for suicide. Dont go telling people what to do with their lives.
KuramaKitsune
Suicide IS an answer.
KuramaKitsune
Generally Seen by people as the Wrong answer.
KuramaKitsune
But, still an answer.
SlanderBox
OMG heart attack! Forgot I had this app open and unlocked my phone. Thought maybe one of my kids googled this while signed in my account.
opuntio
Why isn't the answer? Do dead people still have problems?
BruceAmey1337
1.7 minutes for a shotgun to head??? That certainly made me reconsider suicide.
14November
Cyanide works in less than 5 seconds if done properly
ThatOneKid42
How?
GnomeHomo
nanyatenyaa
As some one who regularly deals with being suicidal, trying to guilt trip me into "it affects people around you" just makes more depressed.
nanyatenyaa
It does nothing to help and if anything reminds me that suicide would be the easier option. So suck a dick with your guilt trippy "help".
nanyatenyaa
The whole "hey depressed suicidal person, don't be such a self centered prick and think of others instead" notion is massively dickish.
ryanjoseph666
Yeah it really is, but if you need anybody to talk to feel free to message me, i hope whatever you're suffering from can get better.
Imadethisaccounttopost
I do agree, it is sort of a guilt trip. At the same time, it means you may have people to talk to to help with the problem as well.
Imadethisaccounttopost
Trust me, I know what it is like to regularly be suicidal sadly. So I fully understand your stance and feelings in your reply.
MajorGameage
Time (min) 1.7... it takes 1.7 minutes to dies from a shotgun blast to the head?!
TimmyTimm
They must count finding and loading the gun
easyBEE
Surely the person wouldn't be "alive" through this method surely.. or does this just mean technically still alive (pulse etc)
CaptainMiffles
in practice i think it includes retrieving the gun. though it could also be an average. not everyone hits dead center, bleeding out via ear.
MrShpoople
Technically... The brain takes a little to turn off and convince the heart to stop beating
SmolTenk
Depending on where you hit.
chonas
I'm surprised it's not higher.
SpaceDaveNZ
Depressed people tend to think that loved ones will be better off without them, so they often *are* thinking of others when they suicide.
Imadethisaccounttopost
Trust me, I know. In the depths of my depression I've felt as if they would be better off without me weight them down in their life.
SpaceDaveNZ
Hope you're in a better space now and all the best :)
SpaceDaveNZ
Yep, it upsets me when I hear people call suicide victims selfish. They're not, they're so depressed they honestly think it's for the best.
AntiCircleJerker
Actual Bing - just checked:
Imadethisaccounttopost
The original image was from a Twitter feed https://twitter.com/ColorsWasShit/status/985815848546791424
zenoshogun
Search engines do customize results depending on the history,location,browser etc of the searcher.
LyraTheLycan
It comes up with the hotline in the UK
gablestout
Neither of those are customized results or ads. They are placed there by Google and Microsoft:
zenoshogun
All search results are customized, except maybe by duckduckgo.
gablestout
Unless they are banner results. They will show at the top every time a specific search is queried.
buzburbank
PLOT TWIST: User has five minutes until class, needs to turn in paper about efficacy of suicide, has no time for Google's shit.
[deleted]
[deleted]
buzburbank
Don't know if it was suicide, but your sense of humor left your body a long time ago.
tarWHOdis
What did they say???
Imadethisaccounttopost
I mentioned how Google would have the results after the prevention, but this way it saved lives. I thought was being serious
buzburbank
OP completely missed the joke. Or chose to ignore it. I think s/he felt I was being insensitive.
Imadethisaccounttopost
Yea, I thought you were being straight faced serious and not making a joke or sarcasm.
Bot17629A98001
So why delete your comment? What did you say? We shall be the judge, jury and executioner...
thingy237
Five minutes for a paper? Might as well just shoot myself
totallycooldude
That’s be a great opener
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnm
How though? Oh, thanks Bing!
Cthulhuonabike
Mack1986
If only there was a quick way to find how effective it is
rubyfox10
saltyvinegarstrokes1
And this ladies and gentlemen is why I scroll through the comments
Mack1986
PotassiumRegulatoryCommittee
Bing:
ThatWhineInYourEars
What is this from? Rocky?
TheShittierBeatles
Yes, Rocky 4 to be exact.
TheOneAndOnlyButtStabber
suicide is the answer when you ask, what's it called when you kill yourself?
Spawnsy
Self inflicted murder?
lostintransmutation
I laughed to hard at this because I could hear his voice.
xxsimpsxx23
Same
NickRivieraMD
Alternately (middle):
NedRamano
I just searched on Bing and the suicide hotline was at the top of the page. Hmmm.
Rollrollrollout
They changed it since 2010 when this was first posted.
dietluigi
MoreBigger
Bing gets right to the point. No messing around
meeseeksyouseeks
Fucking perfect
Zigor22
Shotgun to head takes a whole minute??
ikindafail
Loading ammo and taking your shoe off to use your toe for the trigger, then like 15 seconds to make sure
Zigor22
If you deal with suicidal tendencies, then you've already loaded it.
MattVSin
atleastfourcharactersinlength
What is this? Extra frames, hold the pixels?
gablestout
Also Bing:
Lelines
and right below it /a/XO3Tk
gablestout
Google has similar results too. I'm just glad both Microsoft and Google put the hotline number up.
GasBandit
Lately, Bing gives you what you want. Google gives you what it thinks you need. That goes for searching for porn/nudes, too.
Zigor22
I'll type in "09 Suzuki Equator bumper" and I get links saying they have them or for video tutorials people 1/
Zigor22
Have videos for how to install a headlight on a ford when I specifically asked for a Suzuki. I HATE that.
kibateo
to be fair you can type really vague shit into google and it can figure out what you're talking about.
Toderdj
Yeah.. Yeah.
filthytank
Bing is miles better for porn
MrMineHeads
Why?
filthytank
2/2 by sites, like pornhub or xhamster, plus personally I’ve just gotten more satisfying results over google
lilycurran
"Satisfying" ;)
filthytank
If you’re looking for videos it turns your search query into categories so you can narrow it down further, and the ability to filter (1/2)
spacecatexplorer
1.7 minutes to die from a shotgun to the head, I wonder if that's from trigger pull to fully dead. That's a lot longer than I'd imagine.
sakkehattu
I think that includes the ones who "miss", shooting most of their face off and just bleed to death.
Elroydb
Maybe the 1% that live skew the numbers?
Maraak
Unless it totally destroys the brain and not just taking a chunk out of it, you'll be lying (unconscious) for a while as you die.
spacecatexplorer
Yeah it makes sense, I always imagined it would be instant just.. Gone, well for the most part, I know it's possible to survive
Maraak
Yeah. At least "luckily" such brain trauma is still almost guaranteed to knock you the fuck out at least :|
Maraak
Blood loss and respiratory failure will be followed by the heart stopping and then finally total brain death.
Negelberries
Id never got a wife and kids. Slicing an artery in the neck would be mine. Youd be unconsious in minutes and vampires would get the blame.
harmoney
The easiest way has been under your noses the whole time.
CaptainMiffles
now you see i'd go with carbon monoxide. ie exhaust pipe, sock, short length of hose, and a whole lotta aspirin for the headache.
AntiCircleJerker
Duck Duck Go keeps its promise and stays out my business
TacoManStan
I'm 99% sure DuckDuckGo uses Bing as its engine lol
NachoPete
They really put the "Go" in Duck Duck Go.
MMAgCh
Duck Duck Gone.
BlunderbussVigilante
"When the ting went quack-quack-quack/ You man were ducking" - Big Shaq
sutolagguj
Well I guess my question would be...why look for the cheapest way?
pilates4hotties
Probably people who need to save up their allowance to buy the pills.
SIRTOXIC13
DuckDuckGo is the best. I use it for nearly all my searches now.
z3lfmoord
Well what’s the easiest painless way?
ForReasonsOfScience
Probably a high caliber pistol round to the temple or shotgun blast to the forehead. Just a guess
Norwegianguywholikesstuff
To realise that you only have one life, so you spend it the best you can and die of old age.
Nihilarious
dying of natural causes can be very slow and painful
AntiCircleJerker
A to the men
Mathafok3r
To much pain for me
z3lfmoord
*too
SirBrendan
Someone expresses suicidal feelings and your go-to is minor grammatical errors-- keep it classy.
krapmyself
I knew a guy who tried to kill himself with a shotgun to the face. He failed. The result isn't pretty. Hint: imagine having half a face.
LordPhil
I guess that's the 1%
behrditz
That exact situation is a character in the comic Preacher.
OdinYggd
So put more than one shell in the shotgun. If you miss, do it again. Its not rocket science people.
Maraak
1st shot will still fuck you up so you're unable or unwilling to retry. Ppl attempting suicide often regret it the moment after.
r4dical0verride
Then that’s just one more thing they fail at
Maraak
Easy there, edgelord. It's past your curfew.
r4dical0verride
BulkSausage
Anyone using Bing instead of Google, is already dead on the inside.
gablestout
Nah. All jokes aside: Bing if I know what I'm looking for, just not sure of what the website is, Google if I'm not sure what I'm looking for
digipedi
vampirehedgehog
They're beyond help. Best to just make it quick and easy for them.
izoli413365
Once again, Bing provides more accurate information.
BlastFX
Not really. He asked for the easiest way to kill himself, not the most reliable.
JerekoKosta
Once is possibly the key word in that statement.
izoli413365
Yeah, I only use bing for nudie pics
igniteice
Any pictures really -- Bing allows you to set minimum dimensions for images and specify whether you want wide or tall.
izoli413365
Yrah, but nudies for sure
DarkUranium
So does Google, click on the "Advanced Search" button.
izoli413365
"Hentai tentacle loli incest pegging" never fails me
Fifofu
This and that really made me reconsider my (search engine) life choices. This was a great Bing ad.
iamthisguy247
This is because Bing wishes it could die all the time.
DefinitelyNotAdolfHitler
But have you ever used bing for porn?
iamthisguy247
Yeah but that probably makes it worse. "They never use me, and then when they do they look up such horrible depraved things, then leave"
NZSheeps
They need to do a "If Bing was a person" video like they did with Google. "Hello???" "Hello???" "Ah, a query. You want WHAT?!?"
NZSheeps
Looks like someone already did: https://youtu.be/r2RGNF68EZc
WildToaster
Unpopular opinion. If you are a grown adult with no mental illness you have the right to decide when you don't want to live anymore.
SomeCrazyNerd
Not unless you're already close to dying I'd say. Eitger terminally ill or perhaps very old.
OdinYggd
Even with a mental illness, if you've tried many times to turn things around and it still isn't happening, there should be a legal option to
JonRichardsonsDustMop
What are they going to do, arrest your corpse?
MrFnortner
I think the plea against suicide that it affects other people actually makes us the slaves of others. In other words, we are not allowed 1/2
MrFnortner
2/2 to live for ourselves; we must live for other people. And suffer. To make them happy. That my friend is immoral bullshit blackmail.
SomeCrazyNerd
Orrr it's just getting you to think about the consequences of your actions. That same logic cna be used to justify murder you know.
MrFnortner
Consequences (in this context) = slavery to others. Applying that to murder is a bizarre stretch.
SomeCrazyNerd
Why? Just because you want to do something doesn't make considered the consequences "slavery to others". That's just decency.
strigonia
A lot of people would say wanting to die is a sign of serious mental illness in and of itself.
FromMatterSpace
How? To be fair, life can be complete shit sometimes. Makes sense some people don't enjoy it.
justherefortheshitposting
Right, but a) it should be well-considered, and b) most adults probably already have a decent idea of how to do it. This is for angsty kids.
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnm
Thats pretty wrong. Most people dont know how to suicide properly and end up fucking it up and handicapping themselves for life.
MetSoh
Yeah but most adults have a good idea on how to do it because they researched it already
[deleted]
[deleted]
igivetheinternets
My car is electric!
SomeDetroitGuy
Most people who survive suicide attempts don't try again. It's usually a temporary crisis.
baconandmorebacon
I hope that isn't as unpopular as you think. But the wish to die might only ba a phase and in this case it's better to help the person (1)
baconandmorebacon
getting through it than helping them to die before they can change their mind. But you should never force them in any way. (2/2)
Zyrin
There are a lot of people who jump off realize this isn't what they want but by then its to late
Jrex42
But I suspect that the terror of the fall is a huge part of that...
Zyrin
There is a blog dedicated to people who have survived the golden gate bridge and have changed for the better.
Jrex42
I’m aware. I also think the instant regret is like 90% because they’re falling and it’s terrifying.
Zyrin
That is true. Just means that sometimes these things are in the moment and it only takes the potential of death to wake them up.
SpookystuffMcgruff
Pretty sure a shotgun blast to the head wont take a minute to kill you.
shadow01969
Pretty sure a shotgun blast to the head is more than 99.0% lethal too!
eroso
Its difficult to get a direct hit if u got short arms.
Maraak
Blood loss & respiratory failure will be followed by heart stopping & then finally total brain death (unless brain was totally destroyed).
slvrscoobie
a shotgun to the face is usually pretty effective at totally destroying the brain. destroying it all over the room
Maraak
Usually, but far from always.
Dedeurmetdebaard
I think this takes into account the one minute you need to buy the gun in the USA.
elucidatefurther
What kind of scrub needs a whole minute to buy a gun? Just reach into the nearest sewer grate or trashcan. Boom, Glock 19.
ImAKeyboardWarrior
Good troll +1
CaesiuMike
HA! I’m dead (in 1.7 minutes)
atoyot
It's an average. A lot die instantly, some don't.
shitpostiere
What is it about shooting yourself with a shotgun that takes so long? Your parting monologue?
CaptainMiffles
generally takes longer to actually do something so... explosive. also a lot of people have bad aim... i'll leave it at that.
ImWeezering
Th reality is a lot of people don't actually immediately die with a shot to the head. Parts of your brain can live without eachother.
PandaLove8
I just don't understand how it could possibly take longer than cyanide.
AAAend
Maybe trying to manipulate the trigger with your toe. Taking off socks and shoes, then being sure it's stable, etc
IncorrektGramerNazi
*concern since you sound like your talking from experience*
IncorrektGramerNazi
*you're dammit (WHY CANT WE EDIT COMMENTS?)
AAAend
Don't worry, just pontificating, lol
IncorrektGramerNazi
*relief since it's just pontificating*
PicsOrItDidntHappen7
It's scary how many people think they want to die when really they want to start living
Dargai
This is the brightest pearl of wisdom I've read all day.
Ventouza
woa
Arsikere
-PicsOrItDidntHappen7, 4/17/18
PicsOrItDidntHappen7
Oh shit.. I knew PicsOrItDidntHappen8 would come for me eventually
SomeoneSomewhereOrSomething
Sometimes, it's not about me wanting to live or die. It's that I want to protect others by eliminating the threat: me.
doubleormuffin
I've always been terrified of dying, always hated the idea. But even if it's scary, death looks very easy when life is too much to handle.
Psilopat
I always thought, if I have to die I would leave all and go see the world first, what is to lose if the the worst is death and 1/2
Psilopat
That's the plan in the first place, I still keep to this principle, but haven't been here yet...
ToddlerPuncher66
Beautifully put :,)
SomeCrazyNerd
This is very well put. ++
PurityOfEssence
This is so true.
AgentSmithFan
Oh wow bukowski. Thanks for that gem of knowledge.
ItsSableye
I did. But then one day, out of nowhere, I realized I wanted to be happy, not dead. Still have depression, but I can manage it.
SaraFourImgur
Agree to disagree. At least until mental illness has a cure.
DeadHamster
As someone who works hard every day at a job I hate, to provide for my family, and to finance the things I love doing, I have little (1)
DeadHamster
to no sympathy for people who go on and on about having anxiety and depression and how it prevents them from achieving what they want (2)
DeadHamster
to do in life. I struggle with self-loathing and mental issues every day, but I get the fuck up and go and do my shit anyway, and all (3)
DeadHamster
the attention seeking jobless motherfuckers on my Facebook feed who never shut up about mental health can go suck a thousand dicks and (3)
tomyironmane
... There are two really good reasons I thought of when I seriously contemplated it.
tomyironmane
1.) What few friends I have, I didn't want to put them through that shit. That was enough to pull the E-brake on that train of thought.
tomyironmane
2.) I wasn't about to give the chickenshit fuckbaskets that surrounded me the fucking satisfaction of seeing me dead.
tomyironmane
... yes, it's possible to keep living out of spite... Though love will get you farther. Love God if you can't think of someone else.
SmolTenk
Its rarely wanting to die (those guys just get it over with) but rather seeing no better alternative.
lama00
I kind of want both but death can wait.
FromMatterSpace
Maybe it's because, sometimes, life is complete dog shit?
WilwoWaggins
Sucks that there are plenty of people out there who help push people toward it or make it very hard to resume a normal life after mistakes.
Crimpwithyourthumb
100% it’s just wanting the pain to end and it hurting you so badly that you’re blinded to the other options
MistressLyda
And in some cases, there are no realistic options. It is not the norm, but life is no fairytale. In some cases, there are no happy endings.
Crimpwithyourthumb
Are you making an argument for suicide?
MistressLyda
As in that we all should die? Of course not. But that I can understand people that chooses to die? Yes, in some cases.
Crimpwithyourthumb
I mean, maybe if a painful death is imminent. Aside from that very specific and small population, I’d be hard press to believe that argument
nowaythisnameisavailable
Thats a great perspective to share. Usually it’s the point of no return when a suicidal person realizes they don’t actually want to die.
TheHandsomeOctopus
No. And I think this is one of those areas where people without firsthand experience can’t fully grasp the “feeling” and its many flavors.
AlxEverett
Suicide doesn’t end the pain, it just passes it on to other people.
zoezoebelle
If it were that easy to just start living why would they be suicidal though? Most have physical and mental pain that haunts them every day.
Faulancer
profound af
Shigbeard
Each day I consider suicide to be an easier way out of my current circumstances than to move forward. No job no experience no qualifications
Kleck
And sometimes people do want to die and should be let to decide so and not guilt tripped into living in suffering "for the people that care"
SomeCrazyNerd
Depends. Suicide isn't suddenly a virtue. Let's not ignore the reasons it's disliked. We have to distinguish which circumstances are right.
Kleck
Not a virtue, it's a right. You can judge their life choices, however you can't deny suicide because then freedom goes out of the window.
SomeCrazyNerd
I think we can and should to at least some degree. And I mean we do.
Kleck
Please elaborate are you refering to judging or denying suicide, it's not clear to me.
thefatlonelyjew
Most people who want to die don't think a worthwhile life is possible for them. Some of them are probably right.
schmonday
Most people know they don't want to die: they just want to end the pain. Dying is just the easiest (sometimes only) way to accomplish that.
justfoundouttherearepoints
More like not necessarily wanting to die but being too exhausted to live. I fantasize about hibernating just to calm my brain.
justfoundouttherearepoints
It's hard when you're fighting your brain every day.
Weissicles
Mines just pushing a button that makes it so i never existed. Though hibernation sounds nice.
CatsAreAssholes
I want to live, but that other guy in here thinks about how much easier everything would be if I didn't. I don't like that guy.
Cthulhuonabike
Yeah, I know that guy. Fuck that guy. He's a dick
SavageHonesty
Nobody likes that guy, fuck that guy. I bet he has some douchebro name like Steve, too. Fuck off Steve, no one likes you.
MightyDogFart
Tell him to wait his turn. And in exchange for his patience, it'll be his turn for an eternity.
AntiDriver
Shit man that's deep...
CrackHitler
I hate the guy who wants me to live, he's the worst.
PicsOrItDidntHappen7
Sounds like cats aren't the only assholes
marapamts
Same here, but we'll get through this.
GreaterDog
Things become so much more approachable when you can separate "depressed you" and his mantra from "you" you. I think of an angry munchkin.j
sweatyballs6389
Hey I needed this today. Thanks for that
GreaterDog
No problem, sweatyballs
Arkvoodle
It's not so much that they want to die its more that feeling like they do has become intolerable.
TrijezniMujo
Hey, some are just breathing to pass the time. It's a logical thing to think in that state.
WeylandYutaniCorp
Main reason I smoke. Being unhappy is subjective. Having cancer is objective. I need a real reason before I do it.
Imadethisaccounttopost
Sadly many people, I included, have been there at some point our another.
ACDCTWITCH
my mom has been there it hurt when i found out. shes still here thankfully i do my best to help her as much as i can
livingscreamydreamy
After 5 failed attempts, I realized that it’s not worth it and more worth it to put that energy into something more productive
TryingToSpreadTheLove
Glad you're still with us :)
Antrazit
If you fail 5 times you clearly aren't trying, so evidently you want to keep going. Hold that thought for tough times
LessanderoCortez
Hey I never thought I would meet someone else like me who tried it more than once or twice. I hope your life got better just like mine did.
WigglyCherry
I am living. Just not with memories i want and everything I've done too try to prevent it hasn't worked. Kind of at the giving up point. +1
Fumoufu
It sucks when the stuff mental health professionals offer us doesn't work, but keep looking, there is a solution out therefor you :)
WigglyCherry
I very seriously doubt it. I haven't felt happy for more than a day in years. My birthday was last Friday and I wasn't happy that day.
ChaoticEnigma1121
If drugs and/or therapy hasn't helped, look into Transcranial magnetic stimulation. That's my next avenue of hope.
hencethequeef
The biggest lesson I had to learn is that all therapists/psychiatrists are not created equal. Shop around, demand good treatment.
DoctorDelta
Some people play the hand they're dealt, some people fold. Either way it's just a game.
Fotzenleckers
Life is not a game.
ChaoticEnigma1121
Why not?
Fotzenleckers
Well, even if we're living in a simulated world it still wouldn't classify as a game when we're not aware of it. Or maybe it would, but it
Fotzenleckers
is hard to make that argument when you're inside of it. But, the easy way to put it, is that a game can exist because of reality, reality
DoctorDelta
Existence is based on "experience", much like any other game.
Fotzenleckers
Hey man, inside games there are people so that means this is also a game and that I'm also a character in a game bcús dat is logic, yo.
MetSoh
Yeah but some people really do just want to die. It may be hard to understand and we often try to rationalize it but sadly it's true.
ferretcheese
Sometimes it’s more looking at life and not having hope that things will ever change or get better. After forty years, life keeps sending
ferretcheese
Nut shot after nut shot. You don’t even have time to recoup before the next one comes. Sometimes you realize that even with friends and
ferretcheese
Family you’re still hopelessly alone and isolated. Financially the family would be better off if you were dead. Because of all the baggage
ferretcheese
You have over forty years you are the cause of your family’s strife even with seeing a therapist. Sometimes you get tired of running on the
Xenarion
Technically speaking, Bing gave exactly what the user asked for, while Google didn't.
LyraTheLycan
Well, no it didn't. It gave a stats list of the most effective ways people have committed suicide. Gave ideas, sure, but not he answer.
theliquidsteak
google does this a lot with it's google maps shit
rando84
Bing is already far enough behind Google on users, it can't afford to teach the few it has how to effectively kill themselves.
Elroydb
One important job for developers is to provide what the user wants but not necessarily what the user asks for
beetcher
Just "binged" it, first result is the hotline https://imgur.com/Rn5utDY
Imadethisaccounttopost
I got it from a twitter link someone sent me https://twitter.com/ColorsWasShit/status/985815848546791424
eggmuffin
And then didn't even bother to check? That's not just lazy, it shows you didn't even think it was all that interesting. So why bother?
theliquidsteak
I did not get that result
CyborgScribe
Hmm. Someone is lying. But I'm far too lazy to test for myself.
Imadethisaccounttopost
It was linked to me from a twitter feed, so I posted it here https://twitter.com/ColorsWasShit/status/985815848546791424
00110001001001111010000110110110011
I just tried it and I didn't get the phone number /a/4lPre
Roceiz
On a MAC I see....
00110001001001111010000110110110011
yeah?
burninator2
I tried it on my phone and I got the hotline number.
amed1c
Same here
Arkvoodle
Are we going to ignore the 1% of people who took a point blank shotgun shot to the head and lived? Fucking superheroes among us.
AntiCircleJerker
Watch Preacher on A&E
RaynWisp
Birdshot
DoublevBomb
Luke Cage?
NotAnotherRandomHuman
They should of paid more attention in anatomy and physics.
LyraTheLycan
I already know their name is Luke Cage
DurendaI
Probability. Never know what gauge they're using or how the pellets will tear and lodge.
PuppyLord
At that distance its more like a solid mass then individual pellets. Not a pretty sight.
sanityforsnark
Bad aim. A teacher I had's son survived shooting himself in the head. Aim was slightly off, and survived blowing his eyes and face off.
spregan
My GF's uncle survived this one. He is happy now, but life without a lower jaw and other parts of the skull is not easy.
lamboofgod
Storm Troopers
Timeandrelativedimensionsinspaghetti
The worst part of being suicidal is finding out how hard humans are to kill
tomyironmane
Technically, a persistent vegetative state is still alive... so consider that.
DickMercenary
Last second reflex or just dumb luck. Know a guy who tried it and he's missing half his face and has part of his hip replacing his jaw.
PatronSaintofKillers
https://imgur.com/Bc4SdhE
circlebreaker
There way supposed to have been some guy who did that & failed, then went on speaking tours at schools near where I live. 1% is still 1%...
Koogle2600
lots actually survive the point blank shot in mouth the bullet actually exist completely missing any vital organs from back of neck ....
bitemark
This thread has been a depressing and dark journey. Congrats for making it this far, have a kitty
[deleted]
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bitemark
Yah, I didn't think that would happen. Oops
lelk
One of my friends in high school pointed it straight to his temple and somehow lived. It’s amazing he lived...
AntaNce
Remember when Judas Priest had to testify in Nevada? At least on e of those lived.
Gizmodian
I've met a guy. He's missing a good portion of his face and drools constantly because his jaw and right side eye socket are completely gone.
elucidatefurther
A good fact to keep in mind during the "why did the police have to shoot him X times" arguments.
Kradimus
My neighbor domed his wife in the head with a shot gun and then put it in his mouth. Blew his whole face off and lived. No eyes mouth nose
Geologywomenpeopleinspacesuits
Too bad he didn't do them in the opposite order
AnChickens
One of my cousins did this and just shot through his optic nerves...he's just blind now and has a sick sense of humor.
dogsi
There was a guy in my hometown that survived a shotgun in the mouth. It caused serious brain damage; he couldn't even walk unassisted.
HerNameWasMagil
There was a young resident at the nursing home my mom worked at in the ‘90s who survived a game of Russian Roulette. It blows my mind that
HerNameWasMagil
Someone can survive that.
Eksc
To be fair, when playing Russian Roulette, there is usually only one player that doesn't survive. Most survive unscathed.
HerNameWasMagil
Okay, I should have specified that there was a bullet in his chamber.
HerNameWasMagil
And he was in the nursing home because the headshot wound left him in a state beyond being able to function on his own. ):
CoolSnackChris
I've met someone who survived a shotgun to the head. He does talks at schools
efemral
Also, why does it take 1.4 minutes?
NightStalker7271
Or stormtroopers. There's a comic somewhere....
Abearinthezoo
Deviantai
The built up too much of an immunity to bullets it would seem
superanth
Save the Cheerleader...
PolarBlair924
We get a lot of GSWs to the head at my job, a lot get stabilized but are never the same or die later on.
cloudless9
If they miss the hindbrain it’s entirely possible that they could survive with immediate treatment
tg2222222
There's a thing jokingly called 'short arm syndrome' whereby you don't put the barrel in far enough into your mouth so the angle is such...
tg2222222
That you just blow off the front of your face, but not a significant amount of your brain enough to kill you
MrMacG
I saw a video many years ago of a man that survived it. It was very gross
waltjrimmer
It happens more often than you'd think. You don't tend to aim well when pointing a long barreled weapon at yourself. A lot can go wrong. >
waltjrimmer
>This usually results in a botched attempt. Most die from this anyway, but that's because they're not found for a few days, suffering.
HannahjoyD
It happened to my uncle. He fully recovered then shot himself in the chest about a year later.
CaptainMiffles
poor guy :(
cinsoniTe
He had a dream and followed it.
TheMostModestMouse
The second time i wouldnt have used a gun...
kodiak931155
I dont understand why people dont double up. Noose yourself on top of a chair. Swallow some poison. Shoot self. Done
TheMostModestMouse
Yea, luckly for me im a "very tall building" kind of person. It gives me plenty of time to think about the fact im being stupid.
zoezoebelle
Sadly most suicide attempts are half-assed because most suicidal people don't really want to die.
IMustIncest
Women dominate the suicide attempt statistics, but they are way less likely to succeed than men. Ergo they are not trying enough 1/2
Flyndaran
I agree, but partly it's likely that they're in such pain that they can't think logically even on how to commit suicide reliably.
zoezoebelle
Some do. Most just want the pain to stop and will do anything in a moment of desperation.
scottolan
Had a claimant who husband did that, he was going to jail for trying to kill her, but he put the shotgun under his chin. 1/2
scottolan
He split his face in half, survived, was blinded, lost his nose, and he still went to prison.
BloodyGarbage
Gonna go ahead and assume they aren't living to quite full capacity as they once were.
DamianWinters
I wouldn't call them superheroes more just bad aim, probably lost a jaw or something only.
hormelchi1i
I think this is accurate. I have a family member that survived where the shot went through his mouth and out his cheek.
CoCoKunt
My aunt. Shot her self in the temple and lived. She lost an eye, but that’s it.
MajorA21
My sister was a nurse at a head trauma hospital and saw it all the time. TIRR Memorial Hermann in the Medical Center.
Parrsnip
Ay Houston
Gunthex
*all the time* "Is that another shotgun headshot patient? Send them elsewhere we already have too many here!
zoezoebelle
It really is more common than you'd think. Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US and guns are the most common method.
vitfall
I'm honestly surprised this comment has gone 2 hours without a shitstorm sprouting from it.
zoezoebelle
Just irrefutable facts.
SuperNoobishDude
There's one guy who tried to do that in our little town. He lost most of his left side of his face but survived.
KatByte0
A friend of a friend once survived that. Somehow managed to wake up after the first shot, reload, and do it again :/
Imgonnaburnonedown
arsecheese
And lives to tell the t.... oh no, hang on.
ImObviouslyNotInYourShed
They take off half the face and eyes by bad aim. Missus has CT'd one of these before. Or use birdshot
notamurder
It is better to go with a slug or a buckshot?
vitfall
This is a concerning comment.
StrangelyGrimm
slug, definitely
ArdentSlacker
ah, the "Cheney".
hiearchy87
Came back just to upvote this. I genuinely chuckled softly.
ArdentSlacker
Woot! Slow burn achievement unlocked! :D
Benegesseritwitch75
Transported 2 in the last yr that survived for a bit, one is paralyzed and the other lived 3 days and was an organ donor
Itspossiblethatisthereason
There's this prisoner that is locked up that killed his wife and kids with a shotgun, he tried to kill himself this way, but lived. He 1/2
Itspossiblethatisthereason
Looks like something out of a horror movie. His face looks really fucked up. He's in the Estelle Unit in TX.
Shoutrr
i know one, wish the piece of shit succeeded , the bastard killed my cousin just before trying to off himself and failing.
XaiaX
I don't believe in the death penalty, so if you were to finish off the job, I would say you shouldn't get the death penalty.
Shoutrr
the murder as an accident despite witness and contradicting evidences. a real big pile of filth.)/2
AstralMarmot
I'm so sorry for you and your family. I hope you find justice and peace.
Shoutrr
I just wish he did succeed, now i want him to rot in jail (he used his injuries as an excuse to delay the trial, and then tried to pass /1
Threadnomancer
The 1% is just Luke cage over and over again
SkeletonRecruiter
I used to know a guy that shot the lower half of his face off this way. Tried to shoot up into his head from under the jaw.
Vercci
Or incompetence, depending on how you think about it.
Maraak
My grandfather took a .308 to the head & walked over to the neighbor afterwards. Had to relearn writing and lost use of his arm, but lived.
Boondangle40
Damn...
Maraak
Tough ol' dude. I think he was used to his brain getting hurt from working as a headmaster for decades. Had plenty of good years after it :)
smellslikefishpietome
Maybe there should be a rule about having to stick the barrel 12” up your ass before you pull the trigger. Talk about shitting yourself...
Beefkins
Moreover, who took cyanide and fucking lived?
znexx
Don't forget it evidently takes 1.7 minutes to die from it, lol
HeatFromFire
Must have been a little more blank than point.
TheMightyHaddock
I treated a guy who got shot in the face, Got hit diagonally so it took an eye, some of his nose and a long gouge out the side of his head
Jammiepak
Sounds painful as it still seems to take 1.7mins to die.
SeanARambo
1.7 min DMT trip
Senidas
I mean you probably would lose consciousness immediatelly and it would take 1.7 mins for your organs to stop working.
dudechaos
That's what I was trying to figure out. Is that accurate?
FrottNoodleMonster
I thought it was setup time.
Flyndaran
The times are nonsense though as it take minutes for brain damage to occur, but about an hour for the brain tissue itself to die.
Jammiepak
Minuits for brain damage to occur from a shotgun blast ?
Flyndaran
I mainly meant the times for the other ones. But you must admit that blasting the brain could cause instant death more likely, right?
mandadadada
A punch can insta kill you at times, the blow probs makes u unconscious
arsecheese
How long is 1.7 minutes..? I mean in actual, normal, understandable terms.. like, erm, seconds and stuff.
myotherfistisapenis
divide 60 seconds by 10, you get 6, so each .1 = 6 sec. 7 x 6 sec = 42 sec. So 1 minutes and 42 seconds.
dosmin77
Or just 60 * .7 = 42
arsecheese
No points awarded for your working out.
zippydee
About the time it takes to microwave a hotpocket
ahotpotato
102 seconds.
arsecheese
Calculator?
Spreadhead9087
1.7*60.......
Frigginitalian
Mainly the reason is flinching just before pulling the trigger, taking off most of their jaw
mobinismymomsson
One of my relatives just did this. Not doing too great.
fewe
Oh noooo..
EndyanaDawnn
My roomies uncle did this. Blew out his eyes n jaw. He's still alive and I think doing very well mental health wise.
grifmoney
Having people tend and care for you makes you feel better about yourself. Love your friends and family, especially the stoic ones.
bluespyinthebase
Best way is to put it in your mouth
relicen
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
BondHaimBond
Judas Christ made me do it.
insertsupercoolusernamehere
Two nurses for parents. It's often because a shotgun is too long. they reach down for trigger, head tilts up, off comes upper jaw and nose
zippydee
Gahh I once watched a vid, I think it was Mexican cartel, long story short either they shot this dude in the face or made him shoot 1/
zippydee
himself, and yea he just took out his jaw and face, was still alive and trying to pour water down what's left of his throat. Brutal 2/2
VirtualNaut
I’d like to see that.
MillennialsRuinEverything
Who hurt you?
zippydee
You don't
Scuttlebutte
why would you watch something like that?
zippydee
I was an edgy teen who didn't really know what the internet was.
thealmightywalrus420
Morbid curiosity
actualjesus
Or aiming wrong. When you tilt your head back and aim at the roof of your mouth you often just shoot off your face
AarenMcMichael
Was in prison with a guy named mike did that. Great guy, fucked up face.
everybodystalfos
UseTheForceLuke
shmekie
Oh, Mike With The Face?
ExaDeuce
No. Mike Without The Face
thingy237
Well, one literally went to hell with Hitler, so...
WoodworkingIsLife
That is one hell of a bitter beer face.e
JesseManners94
Looks like me after I eat something sour
HolocologicalJ
Mother fucker you are hard to look at!
M1S0
UnforsakenClamtrap
Go to hell Eugene!
ViciousZen
I like the show, but I thought that was so weird. Genesis can't make someone do something they don't have the ability to do (Like when 1/2
ViciousZen
He tells Cassidy to fly), so having him just magically teleport into hell didn't make sense to me 2/2
TypedThisWithMyPenis
What an asshole
thingy237
Arseface*
flyingmonsters
What show is he from again?
thingy237
Preacher on AMC, one of my favorite on right now
TerribleHalfAsian
Just started it laat night... already on episode 6!
MrWoodchip
That's how they did Arseface in the adaption? Not bad
TheManInTheWall
"Go fuck yourself"
milliedollar
The comics however are far superior. Not being a snob, they’re just so much better.
smashpro1
Did it get better after season 1?
SweatyNuN
Season 2 is better. But I would just recommend the graphic novels because they're legendary
JokeDestroyer
The fuck is wrong with season 1?
TheyCallMeNoNvmTheyDontIts2017WakeUpSheeple
"Bae I wanna facefuck and try anal at the same time" "Say no more"
TheHumanCentipanzer
https://imgur.com/7pCVOYw
murderousbudgie
Take your upvote you fucking barbarian.
bongles
Well I thought it was funny, not sure why these other three don't get it
ViciousZen
I thought it was funny, but if I had to guess, it's because he's based on a real person.
ViciousZen
http://birthmoviesdeath.com/2016/08/05/preachers-arseface-was-a-real-person-graphic/amp
AwesomeTeddybear
7 don't get it at this point
PleasantPeasantPheasant
Think it's real and possibly offensive? idk
Imhereforthelurking
Who the shit doesn't know arseface?!
AstronglywordedEmail
I once transported a 17 kid who had done this. We got him to the hospital alive.
WhatTheFunkBro
what 17 kids goddamn
AstronglywordedEmail
Sorry it was supposed to be 17yo
cardkoda
Don't leave us hanging !!!!
crazymojomonkey
I dunno, but my friend treated 1 that made it - although he has a face hole for a mouth so he can drink his meals(no lips, no teeth) also 1/
crazymojomonkey
no eyes and no nose to speak of... So I guess his troubles are pretty much over...
RandomGuy100000111111100
Did they put him out of his misery? If he wasn't happy healthy...
crazymojomonkey
That's not their job
sixpintsofbitterandquicklyplease
Did he make it out of the hospital alive?
AstronglywordedEmail
No unfortunately he was successful.
hellothisisjodieimsorrybutimnothome
What a fucking cliffhanger
Foxxeface
I NEED TO KNOW IF THE 17 KIDS MADE IT OUT ALIVE
AstronglywordedEmail
Sorry it was a 17yo.
arsecheese
Did they fuck!
Silbaya
My BF is also a paramedic. He once had a patient who also shot himself in the face ; he was conscious when they arrived at his home (1/?)
Silbaya
and he was screaming like hell while half his face was gone. He remained conscious, regretted what he did and they managed to keep him (2/?)
Silbaya
alive. He still is today, and if I remember correctly he still got one eye working. (3/3)