Nothowwillitendbutwhen
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Dessert tax: Miniature key lime pies with fresh whipped cream and candied lime peel.
aumschmact
The pies look delightful.
Samoht
I once tried to cartwheel, summer-sault, and fly into the air stabbing a dragon in the eye. I fell on my sword and took 1D4 damage. :(
LSparkles
Rovylern
I CAST MAGIC MISSILE AT THE DARKNESS!
Beefyhaze
I play every Saturday. My character went deaf last game session.
SorryImAwkwardSorry
WHAT?
kingofallbacon
One time I was playing and our Barbarian got a great axe that gave him acid damage. However the axe was cursed so he would constantly hear
kingofallbacon
The foliage the around him. So would constantly hear screaming and derogatory remarks from the trees.
LuckyLemming
A favourite quote from our campaign is "you failed to insight check the sandwich".
tagmomg
#11 Wild guess: That campaign ended within two months when Neo got his greedy face stabbed in and/or someone flipped the table.
ElectricUncleD
Not sure how I got to the bottom, but dammit those pies look tasty as fuck
TheDrunkenHuntsman
Preach on brosef!
Predacane35
Truth.
LTParry
Dexter agrees.
TroubledTimes
Ive said it once and ill say it again. Id LOVE to play dnd again.
uselesstriviaman
Nothing's stopping you! If you can't find a local group, FantasyGrounds or Roll20 are great sites to play online RPGs.
TroubledTimes
Awe shit. I never knew that. Thanks dude
Bortus
#8 Omg this happens so much, I hint so hard to the main story and they end up assaulting a shop owner or something.
HPWombat
I had avoided D&D for years but now I'm in it SO DEEP. About to make an Adventure Zone post...
DidNotIntendToBeHereThisLong
My character is meant to have a side quest. The DM has tried 3 times now but my kidnapper keeps getting accidently killed by good rolls.
tomyironmane
"Self-rescuing princess?"
Saucysauces
"Roll for STDs"
YourLocalSnitch
I mean an explosion is still distracting
tomyironmane
Mr Welch? Is that you?
bcsssj
Very nice D&D dump!
XeononSolomon
I never see the one about the pig who felt so upset over his owners death he went on a rampage and became a sorcerer
Tkeleth
or Sir Bearington
XeononSolomon
I see that one all the time
TanithRosenbaum
#21 Recipe? Pretty please?
TheIrritableMedic
Indeed! @Back2Basicz plz!
justherefortheshitposting
Tumblr D&D stories feel so fake half the time. At least TTRPG greentexts from /tg/ usually fit what a bunch of neckbeards actually do. :\
Higge
Oi oi, I play DnD atleast once per 2 weeks, don't you DnD shame me @OP. I'm a proud former druid, current dwarven light cleric. ????
klausasaurus
...a lot of these are examples of why I hate DnD. Nat 1s and Nat 20s making bullshit.
anjeleyezjr
Good funnies, but that last pic. Mah god. I'm drooling now. Those things look like foodgasmx100.
magneticgumby
Had players who nitpick looted EVERYTHING despite my giving clear clues that it was unnecessary. Finally, they found a wooden goblin dildo.
Lanka
I have player who tries to loot&carry everything she finds.. I let her, until I get a good reason to make her roll for dropping things.
Corona688
Picky players are the worst. Throw a rock, they ask what kind of rock. Tell them 'metamorphic' and all hell breaks loose. ITS JUST A ROCK
magneticgumby
They first found the dildo. They KEPT GOING. Next was lewd, horribly drawn, images of female goblins...same corpse as the dildo
magneticgumby
They stopped after that.
InboxMeYourMaineCoons
Having played many hundreds of hours of Dwarf Fortress, I can whip out a random rock type on a moment's notice.
InboxMeYourMaineCoons
OK so usually it's either dolomite or schist, but IN THEORY I can whip out a random rock type on a moment's notice.
Corona688
Olivine and microcline
InboxMeYourMaineCoons
Serpentine, puddingstone, marble, basalt, rutile.
Madethisusernameforonereason
Now hold on there. I absolutely WILL go out of my way to play D&D
Mozzeltoff
#5 Don't Warlocks use Charisma? Let the Wizard have it bro.
tzxAzrael
there's other reasons to need Int as well.. but yea, it probably should go to the wizard.
Mozzeltoff
For a few skills maybe, but not combat ones. Int saves are also rare, in 3.5 or 5e. If the Warlock needs to cram for a test, he can borrow.
tzxAzrael
the few skills that -do- rely on int (in 3.5e) are some of the more useful skills though
Mozzeltoff
True, but again, I feel like a +1/2/3 to any of them doesn't trump the bonus to combat mods. It's easier to swap out of combat, than mid.
Mozzeltoff
Except for perhaps spellcraft checks in this case.
tzxAzrael
the few skills that -do- rely on int (in 3.5e) are some of the more useful skills though
Geoffjrej
Anyone else instantly lose interest because no one can spell ROGUE correctly?
Ryanator50
Rogue is the flying hot sultry chick from X-Men, while Rouge is the flying hot sultry chick from Sonic.
PineappleIsDeliciousOnPizzaFightMe
I just assumed the character had a slight red tint.
VirionTheMajestic
Like one person misspelled Rogue.
ThePickliestRick
What if they actually were Rouges? I wouldn't put it past a victorian looking woman stabbing someone
tomyironmane
Seriously? Were I required to wear 20lbs of petticoats and a fucking corset, you have any IDEA how many stabbing implements I would have?
jeoffkrey
https://us.battle.net/forums/en/wow/topic/2325684862. "misspellings of the “rogue” class, we have officially changed the name to "rouge""
Nothowwillitendbutwhen
Anyone liking this comment obviously didn't lose interest instantly because they kept scrolling to the comments...
IronGravyBoat
I mean, there's a scroll to comments button. I'm sure several people used it at the first few misspellings to say this or upvote it.
Nothowwillitendbutwhen
True, I always underestimate imgurians need to correct spelling misteaks.
netharia
No
AtomicDog262
I am amazed and confused that you got so many upvotes. No offence, but who actually cares that much about a dumb spelling mistake...?
CommunCreator
Welcome to the internet, where people judge you on (among other things) grammar and spelling. You must be new here.
AtomicDog262
I know people are uppity about grammar sometimes, but ignoring a post because they spell a word wrong... I don't understand. -
AtomicDog262
- Apparently I'm in the wrong though according to my comment's rating, so whatever.
ArchQuantum
The Shenanigans rule: If you're joking around about something funny your character could do DM can call Shenanigans making it happen.
Predacane35
If they didn't specify out of game beforehand, it IS happening.
BurtTurglar
Preach! So many great stories of PCs fuckin this up. Had a friend cut his dick off in game because of this. We all just watched horrified.
Predacane35
Lol! Perfect!
Zyrixion
A fighter in our group nat1'd a sneak roll and it became canon that for one instant, everything, everywhere, was aware of where they were.
ARobertHarrison
I don’t know why but this nearly made me fall off my chair.
Zyrixion
Cause it's hilarious to envision some elder god in a forgotten corner of the cosmos, hear a CLONK that transcends entire planes of reality?
ARobertHarrison
Sure... but I was imagining every person from the Lords in their keeps to the peasants in the fields, all turning as one like meerkats.
Zyrixion
Which is more or less what we lost it at. Right before we got ambushed by bandits, which was totally plot but we entirely attributed to 1/
Zyrixion
2/ the VAST CLONK. x]
uselesstriviaman
"A game you will never go out of your way to play"?? As someone who's been playing D&D for the last 35+ years, I respectfully disagree.
uselesstriviaman
D&D is more accessible today than ever. I highly recommend it!
tomyironmane
I keep looking for alternatives. Swords and sorcery can be fun... but some times you don't wanna play a Rogue, you wanna play a Rogue Trader
uselesstriviaman
Oh hell yeah! Savage Worlds, Dread RPG, Traveller, and Battletech are all other favorites when I'm not in a fantasy mood.
tzxAzrael
OP isn't 100% wrong though; while D&D becomes more accessible every day, a lot of people keep posting here with excuses like...
tzxAzrael
"i've always wanted to play, but none of my friends do"... and they don't look into other ways of playing (eg, online)
tzxAzrael
D&D used to be very much an "old boys' club"... if you wanted to get in, you had to know someone that was already in.
tzxAzrael
i'm quite pleased to see this kind of attitude dying off in general, but there's still some players who cling to an outdated, restricted...
tzxAzrael
idea of who "should" or "shouldn't" be allowed to play. (aka, 'gatekeepers'; may they please fumble a dex save and boil in lava promptly.)
DelightfullyOdd
D&D No Context: Well, it WAS a refugee camp, now it's more of a free-range orphanage.
Nood1e
Nice.
MrLobstrosity
"I won't kill children, but I'm not afraid to make orphans out of them." -My notorious character quote my players still like to throw at me.
Lucerto
I hear free-range ones taste better anyway
Fleaofpain
This sounds exactly like something Richard would say from Looking For Group. Great webcomic FYI
AntiiGrav
I approve.
BadWolf16
OH MY GOD WHAT DID YOU DO
Foxyfox135
NOT JUST THE MEN, BUT THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN TOO
TheAccursedHamster
what DIDN'T he do?
DelightfullyOdd
The right thing
DelightfullyOdd
Nothing that doesn't happen to everyone, eventually...
pookieeatworld
I now have additional questions!!!
DelightfullyOdd
I will only say "Barbarians will take the path of least resistance. If you corner a barbarian, you become the path of least reaistance."
DukeDarkwood
If a stone golem corners a barbarian, the walls become the path of least resistance. Unless they're in a cave, I guess.
bananaisntfriend
Equally curious and horrified now...
ContentCup
I know same! All that free range orphan meat...
DelightfullyOdd
I'm making a meat dragon, and not just any meat will do.
PajamaStripes
"Your army of bastard children outnumbers the horde 12 to 1"
SexualConsent
I lol'd
TheDrunkenHuntsman
I found the bard!
PajamaStripes
Lol was actually an archer.
DukeDarkwood
Then I must say, that's some good shooting. Does he have a plentiful quiver?
PajamaStripes
Lol oh yeah. Not that he needs it. Never misses a shot ;D
totallynotagoat
I think a lot of people who make up DnD stories don't know how skill checks work.
PsykerKitty
I play AD&D 2, everything else is completely confusing to me.
Whazitooyah
Dracongield
Meh, the rules are just a guidline, the most fun and interesting games come from the most ridiculous interpretations of the rules.
lucivjov
I think a lot of people forget DnD is for fun and not exp points.
nofeeblechrist
Also, in 5e a nat 20 is only an automatic success on an attack roll.
iwanttomountndewya
Actually, the book is a "guideline", whatever DM says goes
nofeeblechrist
No Shit. However any DM that allows a nat 20 to basically act as a game breaking wish is not a DM I have any interest in playing with.
iwanttomountndewya
Whatever you need to have fun dude
tzxAzrael
a lot of people who PLAY d&d don't know how skill checks work. with several decades of experience, none of these sounds implausible to me.
Ryanator50
I've played it a few times and I don't know what a skill check is.
Predacane35
People who only know how skill checks work, tend to forget about the role play aspect of D&D.
totallynotagoat
Role play is different than using rolls to try and bypass every situation
Flyndaran
"Roleplay" vs. "roll-play" is how I've heard the issue.
Predacane35
You are 100% correct.
eggmuffin
Here's the thing, though, most of us can do both. So we can afford to be snarky about those who can't.
Predacane35
For those of us who can, I salute you.
DelightfullyOdd
Almost every group I've played with house rules a Nat 20 as an instant success unless the counter is just absurdly high.
jackhammer0027
I use Nat 20's/1's as success/failures to represent that luck or fate is always a factor. But also I generally RP it to make some sense.
Chivatha
my group does nat 20 as +10 to the roll and -10 if it was a nat 1. makes sense to us that there are some things that cannot be done.
BayazTheBenevolent
Which I don't understand. Sure it's good for a laugh or two but at some point it's going to break the game beyond repair.
StandardDeviant
Only if the GM says you can attempt it beforehand. If I'm GMing, you can roll the dice all you want, but it doesn't count unless I allow it.
jackhammer0027
I use Nat 20's/1's as success/failures to represent that luck or fate is always a factor. But also I generally RP it to make some sense.
Lanka
Pretty much same here. Rely the result to player and let them RP it out. Rather than decide what they did. Also 1s in combat don't break
Lanka
weapons because that's just cruel sort of stupid. 1s in combat may however result attacking wrong target by accident. >.>a
eggmuffin
No natural 20 would let you leap to the moon. If the task is clearly impossible, then a 20 simply represents the most favourable result.
DrPanzerfaustus
And those people like silly memes more than an immersive session. Which is fine, but I HATE how popular that idea is.
DelightfullyOdd
It depends on the context. Like if we're just being cheeky then we'll play it up for laughs, but serious rolls get played straight.
Tassyr
Wait, gaming groups can be serious? Where is this impossibility? I only tend to find "the goofy hijinks and monty python reference crew."
BrandonianFlynnigan
From my experience it doesn't always start with goofy hijinks, but it ends with goofy hijinks. Goofy hijinks and LOTS of murder.
canadarox28
I run nat 1s and 20s for skill checks because I use it to represent heroic successes in the face of extreme odds, or to maintain the risk 1/
canadarox28
Of failure despite expert training. I play it as an epic story rather than hardline rules.
PowwerOrb13
Same for me but no 20's outside of combat. A 1 can always fail because the enemy might just be better than you (DC is set for that to be 1/2
AutumnalDreams
Wait, how would a Nat 20 not being an instant success make the game more immersive? From what I have seen, the more rules and 1/2
jofo
“Nat 20” is the extra rule, technically. In combat, you might make a lucky hit against something nearly unhittable but overall impact is 1/2
jofo
Negated by damage roll. With a skill check nat 20 rule, it makes the impossible possible. While hilarious, it can be severely broken.
TheRevolutionist
I've never played but honestly being able to fuck around and derail shit is the only way I'd be entertained enough to keep playing
phasmafelis
Nat-20 auto-success means that anyone has a 5% chance of convincing anyone to do anything. That's kinda silly.
ToGServer
Level one fighter tries to shoot a flying level 15 dragon that shouldn't be fought till end campaign. If it Nat 20s, it would be more 1/2
ToGServer
Immersive to have the arrow splinter off the dragon's tough hide or miss entirely as a flying dragon would be a hard target for a level 1
AutumnalDreams
2/2 micro-management happens the more players will get bored
DrPanzerfaustus
"I rolled a Nat 20 to jump to the moon!" It's absurd and messes with verisimilitude. Just because you pulled off something that has a 5%
DrPanzerfaustus
Sorry your players have short attention spans, then. D&D might not be for you if you don't like the system. And that's fine, there's other
Crillol
I think he's talking about the random numbers thrown about with no relation to a rule or their needed opposed rolls.Yes nat20 house rule tho
RandomMagus
At least it wasn't "roll 1 two or three times in a row, kill yourself". Seasoned adventurers stabbing themselves in the head accidentally...
DelightfullyOdd
We had a GM who played that... "Oops, Nat 1 on a bluff, a persuade, and a perform check in a row. You die." "How?" "... ... ... shut up!"
minant
Aaah, MERPS. The only system I've seen where you can accidentally kill yourself with a bow.
DukeDarkwood
Reminds me of this https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cv4hY6GW8AA93Ij.jpg
Flyndaran
Slip and shoot yourself in the foot... oh, forgot you were using poisoned arrows, eh?
YbQuinny
The wizard and the warlock arguing over a headband of intelligence when warlocks use charisma as their spell modifier
PowwerOrb13
And warlocks have more powerful spells while the wizard is more versatile. Completely backwards considering the three arcane classes.
tzxAzrael
5e isn't the only version that's ever existed.
phasmafelis
Warlocks originated in 3.5 and they've always been charisma casters.
tzxAzrael
yes i already posted that i noticed my error.
justherefortheshitposting
3/3.5e 'locks were CHA casters as well.
tzxAzrael
yea, i'm dumb. i checked/realized that AFTER i posted.
justherefortheshitposting
All good, everyone forgets basic stuff now and then.
Flyndaran
Warlocks didn't exist in game for 1st and 2nd. I don't remember them from 3rd or 3.5, but splat books being what they are...
tzxAzrael
yea, Complete Arcane (3.5e)... but having checked, it turns out i'm an idiot, and they used Cha back then too. but maybe he had some other
tzxAzrael
reason that he wanted Int. skills? some other ability?
eggmuffin
Right? Rolling a natural 20 doesn't temporarily turn your character into Superman.
DukeDarkwood
25 strength kind of does. Of course, at those levels, your average enemies are going to be Zods and Luthors, Brainiacs and Darkseid.
Thekingofbeans
And rolling a natural 1 doesn't make you an infomercial character.
somekindafuckingidiot
but it does if YOU WANT TO HAVE SOME FUN, MOM
eggmuffin
No. There need to be a consistency to events. A predictable order of cause-and-effect. That way lies immersion.
Thekingofbeans
But like... there's a failure table.
somekindafuckingidiot
we have a dm thats like you. hes everyones least favorite dm