Another Hazel Meme Dump

Apr 8, 2024 1:04 AM

ilovehazel

Views

69398

Likes

1785

Dislikes

49

Dog tax

#6 Ah yes, weed, the fourth element. Everything changed when the Pot Nation attacked

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#3 pretty sure most of those involved complicated insurance schemes and real estate deals

2 years ago | Likes 52 Dislikes 0

I saw a hot woman wearing a leather harness under her tight shorts and t-shirt and I consider that moment a public sexual experience.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

#7 mushrooms I like to forage

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Maybe he meant "cougars."

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#16 I no longer start meetings like that. I like to start meetings with, “Okay, everybody get your sugar/caffeine of choice, and the meeting outline I sent ya’ll yesterday afternoon. We start in five.
(Five later)
Got your notes?
Okay- we’re gonna try to speed run everything and end 15 minutes early.
Ready….GO!”

2 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

That's a great way to do it. I like how you don't ask for fake enthusiasm or one of those half-assed good morning choruses, you just ask for preparedness and efficiency.

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

#10 I bet they went bananas

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#14 Witchy isn’t dying. This is clearly what was intended.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

#19 Is that a "proven most optimal" solution or a "currently best known" solution? I don't remember how many of the non-trivial solutions are proven...

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

#17 Well they all seem to be properly orthodonted, so I'm leaning towards "not the work of a Minion".

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#10 chimps are interesting to study, but if you've read about her research, that shit gets dark. Wars, cannibalism, it's pretty brutal.

2 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

watched a documentary about how one troupe of chimps were fighting with another troop. Caught a preggers female. Literally killed her, tore the baby apart and ate it.

I do not watch chimp documentaries anymore.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

#3 Watch that episode. It wasn’t illegal. The robot just broke.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#3 usually they are committing fraud to harm a business son they can get the land or business for cheap when it fails

2 years ago | Likes 121 Dislikes 0

yeah, there a possible charge for mischief in there, but there's ALWAYS fraud going on

2 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

They could be charged with Menacing, or Criminal Intimidation. Depending on which state they're in.

2 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Amusement park in original series: Elderly owner trying to make a robot
to run the park w/out workers.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wife sabotages robot because she didn't think it's safe to have no humans supervising a park full of children. The only explicitly non-mundane incident in the original series (the Robot is real and quite advanced for the late 60s/early 70s)

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That or there's hidden treasure they want to find first.

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

#1 Silly rabbit, girlbosses do not actually hire other women.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#22 that was the weakest visual of a harness I’ve ever seen

2 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

#2 I think about this one every six months or so and just bust out laughing

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The best part is that the comment is from the woman admitting she looks like a insta filtered Shrek....

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#10 She primarily worked with Apes, not Monkeys. I know, nerdy thing to point out. But it's actually a pretty interesting destinction. Apes and old world monkeys (OWM) have a common ancestor, but are two different branches of evolution. The common ancestor between new world monkeys (NWM) and both OWM and Apes goes even farther back.

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

#15 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

2 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 1

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Get me out of this cup, I’m drowning!

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

v

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Just saying that's only a little one, a big one could probably push the cup over. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huntsman_spider ...attain a legspan of 25–30 centimetres

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

v

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Great post, but that one was just absolutely uncalled for and now I can never have coffee ever again :^(

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hey, at least they float, so it’s not like you’d get down to the bottom of your cup and find it. THAT would be worse.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Maybe it's just one of those trick mugs with an insect moulded to the inside.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#13 There's littereally an album where they go something along the lines of "We're called Hoobastank, deal with it."

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

The Butthole Surfers have entered the chat.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#3 perhaps you haven’t noticed that the police exist only to preserve shareholder value.

2 years ago | Likes 43 Dislikes 6

The person in the mask scaring people away is not the owner of the building/ land. They are a third party wanting to acquire the land and are trying to force a sale through illegal means.

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

#16 I refuse to respond to the demand for a louder good morning and pray for the day the rest of the audience joins me

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

May we be in the same audience together some day, and glare at the presenter when they pull that shit.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#19 yhe point of thisbpost confuses me, cause-- those are some really fucking oddly sized squares? Why are they that size? Why is anyone trying to determine how to efficiently fit squares of that specific size? What is the point if the smaller squares can't also fit perfectly into the big square.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Just mafs, innit?

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The question is "What is the smallest square you can fit 17 (equally sized) squares into?" Questions like that are interesting both as mathematical puzzles and because they often have practical applications.

With 16 squares it's easy: a 4x4 square (taking the side of the smaller squares as the unit). But to fit 17 squares in that arrangement you'd need to jump to 5x5, wasting a lot of space. This jumbled arrangement fits them into a 4.65x4.65 square, so it's more efficient.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

(Should be 4.675... x 4.675..., I couldn't see the post while typing and went from memory.)

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thanks for the patient explanation-- I was really tired and being confronted with math with no context hit a nerve.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#3 Yes because they were attempting to alter property values. Real estate fraud. You know, overstating the value for bank loans and understating value for tax purposes. That's right, Donald Trump is a real life Scooby Doo villain.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

#16 I feel the same way about speakers who begin with "Aloha" despite not being Hawaiian, not speaking to a Hawaiian audience, and not speaking at a venue located anywhere near Hawaii.

2 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 2

I can't help starting convos with "yo"...and I'm not a yoyo, or even rad :( I just have always liked the word, maybe they just like the word.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I was bored once chairing a meeting and dressed up as Gumby. That time, everyone paid attention.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

The CEO of my company always says Hola to me in chat. Neither of us is Hispanic and we always converse in English. We both live in areas with a high percentage of Hispanic people, but that still seems weird for him to do.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#1 that's actually a thing that a lot of women have complained about. How their girlboss climbed up the ladder - and then pulled it up after her.

2 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 1

Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

#10 what's an 'L' in this context?

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

She’s the lady whose life work involves monkeys

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Loss

2 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Thanks

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

ooh, this one's got layers

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thank you, Radcliffe. It is possible to like something without liking the person who made it...

Right, Lovecraft fans?

2 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 2

Wagner even

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It’s not just about that. It’s about the fact that JK has a platform, influence, and is pushing an agenda that is actively harmful/deadly to trans people. Buying merch, streaming the movies, playing the game, all continue to line her pockets which means she can continue spreading her plague of hate.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Not just lining her pockets, keeping her in spotlight to speak from. She wouldn't be anywhere as destructive if she fell into irrelevancy

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I think part of the difference is, if someone is horrible, and lets it influence their work. As far as I can tell, you cant actually see much in the way of normal human racism in his stuff. Meanwhile, you can clearly see the bigoted views in Rowlings works. Easily. There are whole lists of the stuff out there.

Also, as Panda mentioned, Lovecraft was far more socialist on his way out. Had he been influenced earlier, and lived longer, he might have been easily converted. Rowling has no excuse.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Oh no, my dude, his writing is racist af. Obsessed with miscegeny and subhumanism. Where his villainous cults aren't literally described being "mulatto", for instance (The Call of Cthulhu), then crossbreeding is strongly analogised as the source of corruption (The Shadow over Innsmouth).

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Lovecraft is a bit of an odd example, as he was born into extreme conservativism (for today's standards), but went back on a lot of it and became more liberal/left leaning as he grew older. He's not as bad as people make it out to be, even if he died with some bad views. It's pretty impressive, imo.

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

#6 I'm just sayin', if you used better quality weed, it would stop tasting like dirt.

2 years ago | Likes 74 Dislikes 3

The glass is made of sand

2 years ago | Likes 66 Dislikes 1

Thank you!

2 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 1

Unrelated to the meme, I got a flower vaporizer and I will never go back.. so clean and tasty. (The PAX, for anyone curious)

2 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Can confirm, vapes are a game changer. I’ve been using my G Pen Dash for a couple of years now and it’s my preferred way to smoke.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I get one as well. Went with Dr Greenthumb G Pen Dash. It’s pretty nice.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It uses actual flower tho, not a cartridge/oil. The difference it makes is huge, you should try if you get a chance

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

I know. Mine uses actual flower too.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Plants are earth.

2 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 1

in the avatar world waterbenders are the ones who control plants

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

In Waterworld Kevin Cosner is a fishman. They control the water in the plants, cannabis is dried before smoked but it's still of the earth. Besides, in Avatar Lemurs can earth bend.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

i can air bend, but only after a really big meal

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Taco Bell is an airbending temple.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#22 This is so confusing to me. Ive never responded to a compliment with "You're the only person all day to compliment x." And why is the OP so upset? This exchange has such weird energy and manufactured outrage

2 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 8

I don't get that vibe from it, this feels more like them making conversation than anything.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

Not to mention I still don't know what a harness is

2 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

They were wearing a cool new thing and just sad that no one else seemed to find it as cool as they did. Like if you cut your hair or dyed it an obviously different color, and no one even mentioned it.

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

So, I'd expect my friends to say something I guess. But random strangers? Nah. They don't know it's new or if I've had it for years!

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Weird manufactured outrage energy is the style of our time. It's goddamn exhausting. I remember when it wasn't like this and I look forward to whatever comes next to replace it, although I do worry what it might be

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 3

onion in my belt was the style of my time

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

I was going to comment "old man yells at cloud" but yours is better!

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

same energy!

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

What does the harness look like!?

2 years ago | Likes 262 Dislikes 1

@Affaltar

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Suspenders on the top and no one has mapped out the bottom. Cousteau tried once i think

2 years ago | Likes 48 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

He does like mapping out bottoms.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Does the harness look like a BITCH?!?

2 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

I feel like most people WOULDN'T compliment a harness over a dress because most people simply don't LIKE harnesses over dresses, or we'd be wearing more of them and know what they are. Not getting complimented is the risk you take with bold and unique accessories. I will not be genuinely complimenting anyone's harnesses-over-dresses anytime soon.

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 2

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

2 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

Oh, you meant a different kind of harness XD

2 years ago | Likes 40 Dislikes 2

This is stupid. You couldn't even hold scissors with that thing on.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's a lot of money in one picture

2 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Yeah, they dont give those yeti cups away

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

If my hairdresser wore that kind of harness when she cut my hair I'd still be going to her and I've been bald for 9 years.

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

100% rocking that look

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I know it's almost certainly part of BDSM play... But except for the muzzle it looks so much like a rescue helicopter winch harness that I'm just imagining someone at sea being rescued by a muzzled furry dropped from a chopper now...

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I need this drawn, NOW

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Somehow stumbled into the actual picture from the post.

2 years ago | Likes 324 Dislikes 0

*Luger not shown

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Does it come with a scabbard?

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

This is some Third Reich bedroom roleplay looking outfit

2 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 1

I did not want to think about Hitler's O face tonight but you made me do it. AND NOW I curse you

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Oh, like Leeloo's orange strappy thing in The Fifth Element.

2 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

I feel like that's something that could look good with an outfit but doesn't go with the outfit pictured here so it looks weird

2 years ago | Likes 158 Dislikes 3

I disagree, I think it goes better with no outfit.

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

v

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You just have to be In the Reich mood.

2 years ago | Likes 159 Dislikes 2

*Hugo Boss has entered the chat.*

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

y u do dis imga

2 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

And what exactly is being harnessed?

2 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Sexual frustration

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

White power.

2 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 4

Hmmm.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I wheezed so hard that I hurt my back. Hilarious but now you owe me financial compensation

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0