proCATStinating
177401
5443
171
Oct 23, 2018 11:09 AM
proCATStinating
177401
5443
171
Ceroeurista
Kids need to sleep once in a while
deadpoolsdong
I act the same when someone says no more bacon
baconandmorebacon
When you don't cry when someone tells you you couldn't have more bacon, are you even human?
whatsausernametome
nwsayles5772
Exhibit A on why I don’t want to have kids
massaka123
Well, to be honest, I don't want to share my leg hole either.
imagerboy
This post is the best birth control +1
idontlikepickingusername
Or maybe it's your face
AStrangerInTheAlps
#10 is he going trick or treating as Dave Matthews?
Wambots
I was a child once. It was terrible.
HapilyDamaged
never again!
cogs
Most of those fall under the “needs a nap” category.
OdeToBouncer
*sigh* I miss Obama. Remember when people lost their shit over him wearing a tan suit? Good times.
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
Remember the first time Michelle went out with BARE ARMS?!?! The hussy.
Dontdeprivemeofmydelusion
Me too! Remember when the presidency of the United States was respected and other countries feared breaking human rights laws?
coolpapa
The presidency thing - about 60 years ago, maybe. The human rights thing - what are you smoking?
MrInconspicuous
I like how the brother in #2 is just like, "Control your daughter, Susan"
Zuzge
https://images.tmz.com/2017/08/30/0830-shane-botwin-weeds-alexander-gould-now-photos-primary-1200x630.jpg
hetnkik999
He looks like a little Bill Hader.
I0VE525P00GE
Awww, they’re just tired
idontlikepickingusername
Yeah, or hangry. The difference before and after snack is amazing.
itisafunnystoryifyouignorethetragicelementsandthesenseofdoom
1. I am getting a vasectomy, 2. some of these are just psychotic. 3. THATS TOM HANKS...!
YouTalkShiteHen
Finally someone acknowledged it! (3)
ididitforthelolz
The sisters face in the sharing the leg hole "You see the shit I have to put up with Karen."
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
So cute.
SpoilsburyToastMan
TheVampireDante
Go to the concert, build the rage, punch Bieber.
SpoilsburyToastMan
While I see your line of thinking, that would still require me to actually be present at a Bieber concert...
SpoilsburyToastMan
I'd much rather be a journalist in Saudi Arabia.
Archimedes40
#5 I’m sorry, but if your babygirl proposes, you fucking say yes and then be the most excited you’ve ever been in your life!
LittlemissEm
My thoughts too
InkyBlinkyPinkyAndClyde
I know! They couldn't just have a little play wedding? Adorable!
BobDresden
That's a whole lot of kids who probably need naps.
KingSideShow
Jus give the kids some beer already!
IWouldDoThings
That pennies one is so my son right now. And don't push the pennies closer to him! Do not do that, immediately makes it worse.
gimme
We are in that phase too. Do you want xyx? Nooooooo. Ok. BUT I WANT IT! I'll get it for you. NOOOOOOOO. You can get it then. NOOO. Repeat.
ThisIsMyUsernameThereAreManyLikeIt
I mean really, how dare you! xD Kids, sheesh...!
idontlikepickingusername
Only one particular train goes on the track, all others will be yelled at...it ran out of batteries this morning too come to think of it.
rainbowcoloredpoop
Pushing the toddler closer to the pennies also doesn't help, from my experience.
youcantproveit
If you push hard enough, they stop crying though.
AlexTheTruther
Cazador115
#9 from her point of view, the jedi are evil.
pleaseconsiderthatImightbejoking
Vader *was* the hero in the end.
KnobbyDarkling
lmao Obama is like "the fuck"
BoneyBob
Kid is clearly a conservative...
adr1an
Get a picture of us while it still looks like I dropped her!! Hue, hue, hue....
lewaq
BaconLord49
Behold. A child.
Eluria
Behold. A lady.
BaconLord49
Not you, I mean Barack saying that.
YogaQuotesErmIMeanYodaQuotes
Obama : "thanks Obama"
DillPixels
That cookie clip of his had me rolling the first time I saw it.
DukeDarkwood
Every President in the history of the nation has been satirized by someone at some time in their life. (Except possibly W. H. Harrison.)
WhereCanYouSeeLions
I still love how they closed down the subreddit for that meme after the video was posted.
DillPixels
I didn’t even know there was a sub for it lol. I should have. There’s a sub for everything and then some.
KingTaminoNr1
Yeah that was like the ultimate twist. Obama saying "Thanks Obama“. The sub couldn’t get better. So they closed.
Flexster74
#12 this transcends any age.
JennaLand
So does #31
PhenTsoksar
Caption should also read. "hey kid, get used to disappointment. There's never enough bacon"
BrontTheGoodBoy
"That's right, Brian, there's never enough in life, and you'll always be miserable. There's no cake, there's no ice cream. Happy birthday."
PhenTsoksar
There are some things that there is an endless supply of in life: Taxes, splinters, and stubbed toes top that list
cenataur
Bill Murray? Looks like Tom Hanks to me.
geauxaway
Monkeytron
JugOfVoodoo
Not this again!
xMCioffi1986x
Pretty much every one of these kids needs a nap.
MissFitz77
themuttonisniceandlean
Bingo.
HelpfulCorn
Nap or a snack. Or both.
boognish115
Exactly! Even as an adult I get irrationally angry when I’m dead tired. They don’t have enough practice keeping it together.
TwistedBunny123
the Justin Bieber and Miley ones are completely understandable
MrFnortner
100% agree.
MrFnortner
Also, the rest come pretty damned close to poor parenting skills.
shinzoaho
Daily reminder to have kids and take photos for future rev embarasment
TheBestRussian
I’m just glad I’m not alone with this and other parents struggle with the most ridiculous reasons for throwing a fit
Gryphonosiris
Photos, nah, I got video of our little minion singing to her socks. I plan on embarrassing the hell out of her to her boyfriend. :-D
dovebair
Remember it's a two hit combo: exploit them for social credit as babies, cash in embarrassing footage to control them as teens
WinterGrasp
Or take pics of your happy life without kids
ninjakittenz
All of our displayed photos are exactly of that, lol. We never got around to printing pictures of our kid.
idontlikepickingusername
We have a couple frames that hold 12 or so pictures and rotate them in every couple of months, putting the old ones into an album.
ninjakittenz
Rotating is easy. The hard part is getting the pictures printed in the first place.
idontlikepickingusername
Do you not have a Walmart near you? Can upload from phone or cloud or just bring a USB drive.
iraxdescence
I don’t know who would downvote this.
WinterGrasp
Parents
ninjakittenz
Parent here. I upvoted that comment.
IHaveToPeePee
Hahahahaha
JeffGodofBiscuits
Personally, I teared up a little at the "no more bacon" one. Not sure about the rest of y'all.
DungeonMaster69
No more bacon for you. No, you can't have any beer. Your food is not ready. But we are going to a Bieber concert!
OhPe
The Miley one too.
PanicAtTheEverywhere
FuzzyX
Yeah "no more bacon" can bring a tear to even the most strongest of us.
baconandmorebacon
https://imgur.com/sCvg2tr
TacosAreDelicious
No such thing as too much bacon
knuttsakjones
I felt it in my soul on that one. Definitely justified
JoeT85
I’m man enough to admit it
CC2332
Same here. The beer one also upset me as well
ArtieoftheAbyss
Yeah if ever there was a reason to cry
AZRAELSBLADE
Bring me all the bacon and eggs you have.
1Fish2Squirrel3Dog
Bacon one is accurate
DontYouPutThatThere
To be fair he did still have bacon on his plate
besn
But there was no more bacon after that. This was the last bacon.
TheMursu
Think about how dissapointing it is to only have that little bit of bacon left and not be able to get anymore
JeffGodofBiscuits
Well, yeah, but not enough.
jadegiant
There was still bacon on the plate though???
proCATStinating
That one was justified.
danceswithkittons
Bacon man its bacon, I get it
WelcomeToMagrathea
I think it's relevant to note that there's still some on the plate
ProfessorJoeCarroll
As was the beer one. If you take away my bacon AND my beer, tears are all I have left...
JeffGodofBiscuits
"Strong men also cry..."
MimaMaxima
Could be worse! They take away the bacon and beer, AND make you listen/watch Bieber and Cyrus!
[deleted]
[deleted]
skipperpop2525
Premium joke right there
Amousewithchees
Many americans are circumcised regardless of religion.
PrivateIsotope
Maybe if you don't let your kids play with tampons INSIDE the house, they won't want to play with them OUTSIDE the house. Just saying.
grandpasonlylivingheir
you fuddy duddy.
TheFrenchGirl
AH! Mine found the perfect water holder for his hydrocopter in the closet under the bathroom sink. Itt was my cup.
CaptSpaulding
Well when CAN we let them play with tampons then, huh?
AreThoseMyPants
Later.
lovelake
Don't see where the issues is. Grandparents let me play with condoms, fun and fond memories. Nothing wrong with either product
PrivateIsotope
Sure, until someone wonders why a kid is playing with one.
lovelake
Then they don't understand kids. They don't care about the actual purpose. If it's a movable thing it's fun, period.
PrivateIsotope
There are plenty of moveable things you can let your kids play with besides tampons, though..
lovelake
They can still find the weirdest items regardless and there's nothing healthy about demonizing everyday items to a child
WookieWookieWookie
A little latex balloon that could perfectly clog their throat? What could go wrong?
lovelake
I didn't put my lips on it, too greasy. I'd fill them with water. And they were responsible but also trusted me. Nothing ever happened, obv
echosierra775
The lobster and bieber fits were perfectly justifiable
Mammasheen
Justinfiable
TheVampireDante
The Miley one too.
antivaxtumblrvegan
Pinchy!
LittlemissEm
Also,of your 3 and you're In a frilly white dress you can marry who ever. My sister married a stuffed winnie the pooh at that age
Toan914
And the bacon one.
AnotherLowski
My thoughts exactly.
BobHubert
No! Lobsters are wonderful, personally my favorite animal
JhericFury
Hence justifiable that the kid would want to keep it as a pet and not kill and eat it
BobHubert
I plan to have a pet lobster, his name will be jerry
dabbycats
Think how much he’ll cry when they eat the lobster
nugo520
dude I'd cry if I had to cook a live lobster then have too eat it, I'll eat it if its pre killed but not if I have to kill it
ExplainThisJoke
they scream when you boil them
REV076
So is Darth Vader. Keep politics away from your children, you rebel scums.
DevonGronka
Dude it's fascinating how little kids are always fans of Darth Vader and the storm troopers. They are like fascinated by the aesthetic. 1/2
DevonGronka
I think it says something kind of dark about how easily we can be swayed. I've always been curious about why you see the same sorts of 2/3
DevonGronka
colors and motifs in all kinds of authoritarian artwork, you know? Like, you think about US/ English/ French propaganda and there is a 3/4
DevonGronka
certain whimsical aesthetic. Then you look at like Soviet/Nazi/Maoist and it's all bold, crisp lines. There's got to me something there.
SpaceballsTheComment
He's a bad guy because he choked his pregnant wife nearly to death, you imperialist pigs.
THRAWN18
Some wives are into choking.
ExplainThisJoke
fake news
Nikolai5
That never happened *waves hand*.
ShentoSama
These are not the facts you're looking for.
someguyyy
she liked it
ExplainThisJoke
yah, don't kink shame