Let me fill you with Christmas juice

Dec 17, 2018 2:27 PM

#iagreewiththanos #christmas

Edit: here’s the twitter tag @KeatonPatti

Shut your sound!

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Shut your sound! That is how I will tell people to stfu from now on.

7 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

"This is a family business. I sell families." oh Jesus Claus save my sides

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I feel we're not appreciating Business Boy enough.

7 years ago | Likes 54 Dislikes 0

Wait for the prequel.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I lost it at "giftwrapped in eggnog."

7 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

Same! I was laughing at 'died in every war' but then lost all composure at 'gift-wrapped in eggnog'

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

YOU DON'T FORCE A BOT TO DO ANYTHING GODDAMIT STOP IT

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Thanks buddy, came here to say this; actually annoys me every time I see it

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"Christmas attacks soon" I feel that in my soul

7 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

Yes!

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So damn true.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"His hands are briefcases"

7 years ago | Likes 237 Dislikes 1

7 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

Edward Briefcase Hands, played by Johnny Depp.

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 3

dangerous territory my friend.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Jesus Claus :D

7 years ago | Likes 158 Dislikes 2

I'm using that

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

These “forced a bot to watch” things are back? Oh goody... Sure, the writer is clever, but still it’s fake.

7 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

By the way, in the spirit of Christmas, there is no bot. He writes them. Oh, there is no Santa Claus either.

7 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

Shut your sound!

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

All of this is gold

7 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 2

I honestly cannot remember the last time I laughed this much. This is goldenest gold I've found on Imgur.

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

10/10 would watch this

7 years ago | Likes 146 Dislikes 2

I thought so too, but the ending's sort of dark

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Solid 5/7

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Where's page 2? WHERE'S PAGE 2?

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Still a better story than Twilight!

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"Bones help nobody." Pretty metal.

7 years ago | Likes 405 Dislikes 2

On the contrary, its because of bones were not formless piles of flesh.

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Yeah, bones+flesh. The implication is bones on a solo act are worthless.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's the name of my Metal bands debut album.

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Flaming Death Stick - Bones Help Nobody

7 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Snow Globe refillery... lmfao

7 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Wait what? A bot watched movies and then wrote a script describing visual details? Um, no.

7 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

That's not how that works. That's not how any of that works.

7 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Best pick up line ever. “Hi, do your snow globes lack wet?”

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Bones. In the corner. Giftwrapped in eggnog.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Santa is bones. Bones help nobody.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

“This is a family business! I sell families!”...well

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

@OP Twitter link is missing

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You’re right. I’ll get it in there

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"Shut your sound!" I'm going to use that. LOL!

7 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Rude behavior!

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He's Hallmark hot

7 years ago | Likes 97 Dislikes 1

that's like 1950's nuclear family husband type hot

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

7 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I'm thinking long, rectangular head, Ben Affleck haircut, and five o' clock shadow.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Like Blake Shelton

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I can imagine how attractive he is. This is pretty descriptive.

7 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Mario Lopez was in a few Hallmark Movies.

7 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

The lawyer one was better !

7 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

But can you really “force” a bot to do anything? You are just telling them to complete a task.

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

jokes aside force doesn't mean "against it's will"

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I for one welcome our new robotic overlords

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Nothing pushes self-awareness like the drive to get away from Hallmark Christmas movies.

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

This is true. Pretty sure I learned to walk as a baby to leave the room.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Lol her husband died in every war

7 years ago | Likes 613 Dislikes 3

She's a dimension hopper. She changes dimensions to find the same man she's always loved, but everytime he dies in the war....every war...

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

7 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

It's hundreds of years in the future, where wars are fought in Call of Duty.

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

And her husband died in all of them

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He is now bones.

7 years ago | Likes 76 Dislikes 0

Bones help nobody

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Gift wrapped in eggnog.

7 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 0

Double the calcium

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That is America.

7 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Bones help nobody

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Do people believe the whole "I forced a bot to watch" thing in the current year? I'd really hope not.

7 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 2

I mean, neural networks are a thing. They just don't work like that, haha.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And why is it always "forced", as if to imply you kidnapped them, shot their family, and are now holding them hostage?

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

You sound like the type of person to criticize Star Wars for not being shot in real space

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Does this bot really produce these? Or does this guy just write them and say a bot does it?

7 years ago | Likes 77 Dislikes 2

what’s it matter? It’s GOLD Jerry GOLD

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 6

He writes them, that's not how bots work.

7 years ago | Likes 82 Dislikes 1

it would be essentially AI if a program could concoct its own screenplay by "watching" a movie.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It’s probably written using something like Botnik, partially predictive text, partially human.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

At the very least he had to feed it text versions of the scripts to get text scripts back. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

If it's anything like Botnik, you feed it scripts and it generates predictive text. You choose the text but the suggested words can be funny

7 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 3

No. Yes.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Pretty sure he writes them, although he may use predictive texts. Either way, they are hilarious so I don't mind.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This always bothers me because I don’t see why the lie is necessary. Doesn’t it work just fine without making up the bot part?

7 years ago | Likes 44 Dislikes 2

It's more of a joke structure than a lie. It's like a new version of a knock-knock joke. But with robots.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Something Something Uncanny Valley. It's funnier to imagine it's an objective analysis of humanity than some kid trying to be silly...

7 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

The whole premise of the joke is "look at the nonsense a computer spit out!" If you wrote nonsense it's just some dude writing nonsense.

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

In a way yeah, if a bot did that it it's silly and random, if some person did it it's still those things but a lot less special.

7 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 2

sort of, but he could easily just title it "if an AI did(x):" and it would give the same feeling but not be a lie

7 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

How would you make a bot watch anything???

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

by not being a dumbass and knowing how to install a camera, duh

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

With a gun

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0