The Nerf Battle of the Ages

Feb 14, 2015 8:17 AM

Fweeblies

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466340

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10181

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307

I've taken the liberty to include TL;DR at the bottom of each section of text for you lazy people. :v

TL;DR Factory Nerf Guns are Shit. Let's Make them better! aka, fucking deadly.

TL;DR Kyle makes his fire more and faster because shit aim
Jesus fucking christ Paul get your shit together

TL;DR Paul got his shit together
Kyle can now last 12 seconds. A new record!
Who the fuck is Brad

TL;DR T-Shirt Cannon. Pucker Chucker. Cattle Prods.
Is this 50 shades of grey?

TL;DR Epic Nerf Battle of Historyyyyyy
Who the fuck is Josh and why did they give him a sword
Flaming darts are to be had

TL;DR Classes are missed
Food runs out. Morale is low.
Lets light everything on fire
humans make good bbq

TL;DR Let's take a 'who are you' quiz from Quizilla.com

TL;DR Okay, NOW we'll make rules after everything is over with.
Dinner!

Yo but anyone else notice Walk the Moon as their picture?

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"Who is Josh and where did he get the sword?" I'm Josh. I don't know where I got the sword, either.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

+1 this is incredible

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This sounds equally fun and terrifying...

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Tears. There are tears on my face and my diaphragm hurts.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What the actual fuck

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

@protectyurnuts you are totally a Josh

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So basically they demonstrated out evolution works but with guns :3

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I honestly don't know which of those people I am on the personality quiz... but... *IF* I have a sword... I mean, why not? Just in case...

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

So many wonderfully terrible ideas! Bless you sir, for this post, bless you.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Is there an overall TL;DR?

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I'm just imagining a Michel Bay version of this.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Out of many things that didn't happen, this is one of the most entertaining reads.

11 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

My brother and I set nerf darts on fire and shot each other, one burned too much and melted. When it hit me I yelled in pain and for

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

whatever reason, as it fell off, I grabbed it and stuck it back on. I had a red ring on my stomach for about 5 years.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Hardy surprising if they're all doing PCP by the pipeload.

11 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

That concludes today's history lesson on arms races.

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

This isn't tumblr.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

It is taken off tumblr, is your complaint that imgur shouldn't have posts taken from other websites? Because boy do I have news for you

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Those TL;DR's were completely fucking useless

11 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 2

it's a sign that you should read it

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

TL; Still Read

11 years ago | Likes 68 Dislikes 1

I'm sorry but a pucker chucked with an actual PUCK sounds scarier than any of these other situations described.

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Josh had a sword.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

This is absolutely bat shit crazy. Have my upvote.

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

AND THEN THERE WAS PAUL.

11 years ago | Likes 223 Dislikes 4

I laughed.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I dont buy this I think its all bullshit

11 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 9

He sealed the BS title by claiming 5 bathrooms. No one has a five en suite house.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I take it as greentext honestly. Still a really fun read :v

11 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 1

yeah... semiautomatic mode just by adding a spring? basically a perpetual motion machine.

11 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 1

Not to mention the bit about heavier darts going faster. Obvious they've never actually seriously modded nerf guns in their lives.

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

This comment is what I came looking for after the first few sentences.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

+1 for University of Iowa!!!

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Proof that we're all fucking crazy

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Oh yeah! :D

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

There is a reason why it takes some training to make it in IC

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Bet it probably happened in Dirty Burge too

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

This is basically how most wars work.

11 years ago | Likes 288 Dislikes 2

It was World War I in a nutshell.

11 years ago | Likes 47 Dislikes 0

What I kept expecting but didn't happen? Armor/other personal protection

11 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

Why DIDN'T that happen? There were swords, flying hockey pucks, and flamethrowers!

11 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Exactly. Traditionally: better weapons->better protection->better weapons etc.

11 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

but sometimes it jumps the better proc doesn't it? like the muskets to rifles and stuff.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yes&no:Gpowder was too strong for armor then, so dropping it for better mobility sort of= better protection. Stretch, I know...

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This guys has more stories, they're fucking amazing. http://skittle-skattle.tumblr.com/tagged/Gutterati

11 years ago | Likes 75 Dislikes 0

.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Bless you, my child.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm not going to read these tonight, but I wanted to thank you in advance

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

this is fucking comedy gold

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'll have to come back to these later.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Comment for later

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sweet baby Jesus thank you!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Loved these

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You are doing gods work my child

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Commenting for sauce

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Oh my god

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ha! Thank you :)

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Cancel my looney toons idea (sorry daffy) this should be made a movie

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

holy shit, I just read a few of the others ones these are fucking gold.

11 years ago | Likes 39 Dislikes 0

This is goddamn amazing.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

CHRIST ON A CRACKER YOU ARE A GODSEND ALSO MY BILLY MAYS KEY IS STUCK HELP

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Thank you for the link!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

omg thank you!

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Gary... just, Gary. Fucking christ. ^_^

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

.

5 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Replying for future reference

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The fact that the most boring story on there is how they got an inflatable jacuzzi and threw a party and it almost electrocuted party goers-

11 years ago | Likes 45 Dislikes 0

just shows how fantastic the stories on that page are

11 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

how on earth do you make explosive paper grenades? Actually, give me a list of everything here. This tech shouldn't go to waste.

11 years ago | Likes 865 Dislikes 2

I'm wondering this too

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Make a pringle tube shaped tissue paper tube to hold pellets, load in tshirt cannon, fire. Would break when firing or when hitting things.

11 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

I'm thinking he just loaded everything he was shotgunning into a paper ball and launching it via the ball. Kind of like a shell vs pellets

11 years ago | Likes 74 Dislikes 0

Can't be too hard. Me and my friends figured out injector-arrows, we just don't have the gear/lack of conscience required.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

by lyyyyyying

11 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 16

I thought this at first, but really he basically designed paper shells full of foam for the tee shirt launcher. Faster fire rate for him.

11 years ago | Likes 178 Dislikes 0

They are used by football hooligans in italian stadiums, empty a firework into a pack of kleenex. Wrap tightly with duct tape. Ignite.

11 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 0

replying to save......for science

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I wouldn't do it, they are football hooligans not scientists...they are morons.

11 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

It's not that hard. You need things that explode when combined... And you can get those at most convenience stores and gardening stores.

11 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

What are they anyway? Do they also come from pool cleaning stores too?

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

You can, depends on what you want to make. And I'm not telling you, but suffice to say they are common sense.

11 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Explosives and weapons, like they did.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yeah, you can make any of those. It wouldn't be too hard. Hell, I can make hand made smoke bombs that work just fine.

11 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I feel that this should be regulated by the Geneva conventions

11 years ago | Likes 928 Dislikes 4

this was about five minutes, two cans of beer, and a deadliest warrior marathon away from bioweapons

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I feel this should be my program next week in Geneva.

11 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Aw, don't spoil it!

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I feel like PCP pipe should also be regulated.

11 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 0

When you start setting shit on fire and launching it at others, it's beyond the Geneva convention. You need Bromatic Rules.

11 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Tbh, this is probably a pretty good description how we came to HAVE the Geneva Convention ;D

11 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 0

Omg its a mini ww1

11 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

World War Civil War I: The Nerfing

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Well, the didn't shoot the nedic, so that's a start.

11 years ago | Likes 127 Dislikes 1

Medic*

11 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 5

Nah, nedic

11 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

Nedic for Nerf Medic is correct, sir.

11 years ago | Likes 53 Dislikes 0

This should be a thing

11 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0