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Mar 14, 2018 11:00 AM
h0dag24
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geiokami
I say malk
Rentta
I feel the same the same way about people who say or type masterbate instead of masturbate
XplodingUnicornGlitter
Worsh. Lie-yer (lawyer) Pot-o-mack (potomac) Mee-mee (that one angers me)
dovebair
"HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TEACH YOU THIS LESSON, OLD MAN?"
Kejamo
Cranbananarama
I call it what it really is. Moo juice.
CherleneTunt
I once heard someone say “stors” instead of “stars”. I pretty much went into a seizure
cheeseguy3412
Reminds me of the time when I met someone that said, "Wuff" instead of "Wolf" and insisted it was the same.
bunnynamednelson
I've seen such a person in a youtube video, I first thought "woof" was her pet name for dogs...
ACEPILOT666
JUST GIVE HIM SOME DAMN MALK!
nevergonnagiveyouupnevergonnaletyoudownnevergonnarunaroundand
WE'RE ALL SAYING SAYING MALK JOSH!!
Cornflame
HOLLAND ISN'T A FUCKING COUNTRY YOU'RE THINKING OF THE NETHERLANDS
Lornelin
Mjölk
TheSurveyMan
Mjølk
MotionOfTheOcean
Maito
PunTheJewels
In Denmark we say "Mælk"
DreamWeavr
Kamelåså?
foxitsatrap
Pillow... PELLOW.
lolaluftnagel
Werter instead of water
Lostchild12
Winder instead of window.
foxitsatrap
My, who grew up in Iowa says.. WARSH or Warsher instead of wash or washer
bearwizard
baig instead of bag bugs me too
MachineInterface
Anyone who speaks different from me is wrong, for by sheer coincidence I speak English exactly as it should be.
dovebair
I try to speak English incorrectly on purpose. There are rules, and you can make up new words and conjugations for better communication
dovebair
I know you were just joking, but I think it's interesting that people in our generation do this more than previously.
dovebair
I think the root is feeling that a command of perfect language communicates that you are well educated which people mistake for being smart
Smallwater
Go ahead, beat up holland, the rest of the Netherlands will likely help you.
fairybug
But I don't hev any melk in my pellowcase.
Phunkyphreak
Melk is what it is called in Norway /a/d56gL
12Badgers2MushroomsAndASnake
English can be boring. Sometimes you've gotta shake things up. I like to say shork instead of shark...gets me weird looks.
dovebair
"Crikey! It's a shork!"
12Badgers2MushroomsAndASnake
Exactly! But, I'm American. Hence the weird looks.
maroar
Holland is only a small part of the Netherlands, and the Flemish also pronounce it as "melk", are you really going to beat them all up?
plsnosteal
RIP Michigan
Blast4Cash
I'm from northern Michigan. I'll start the culling. I say milk and pillow.
dankfrog
I don't say it that way. I'm from Michigan. Did have a girlfriend who said melk as well as pellow instead of pillow. I used to make fun 1/
dankfrog
Of her and say: "oh no! I spelled melk on my pellow".
zeeffaroni
My mom was an English major...every mispronounced word I learned as a Michigander was quickly corrected at home.
RELAVANTGIFMAKER
I live here and only one girl I've ever known says that. I avoid her.
TopherTots
*silently trying words in my head* dammit.
Rudywasoffside
Holland, MI is really fucked
randomsubrepost
Nah, we’re cool...
ManMashine
We all know it's actually Moloko!! Right, my Droogies?
SociopathicOtter
Ah, Korova...
Garrly
People who say “Laig” instead of “Leg”
triciabunny
MybolognahasafirstnameitsBAMBI
Lol wasn't it chalk water?
toasteheh
Gianttesticlemonster
Nerdygasm
fam19
SkeletonWithOrgans
Silk
ThisNameIsntTakenYet
https://youtu.be/ty62YzGryU4
Debug200
First thing I thought of. "You guys aren't even saying the same thing! You're saying 'malk', you're saying--" "MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
DarthSalVador
Just give him the freaking mulk!
MaryLouWreckin
Thats why your bones are so brittle.
imdownlikedebbie
Of course, the R stands for rickets.
MeteorD8
R stands for "ah, shit i bRoke my bones"
LemmingAttack
"But I always drink plenty of..."
flosser
Malk.
Nuggetti
MÖKLKL
DingoWoof
bkkhk
sunyudai
It's Deloinkful!
InquisitorLexaeloftheOrdoHereticus
Mylke
OliverClothesoff70
https://i5.walmartimages.com/asr/a77cb020-a411-41cb-89f0-4fa40b3ea07b_1.d349b7a4986cd787c631f8f59e38bad3.jpeg
KinderSurpriseMF
Afgenny Malking
IBentMyWookie
Bort loves his Malk
Denvercoder09
Are you talking to me?
IBentMyWookie
No, my son is also named Bort
flosser
We need more Bort license plate at the gift shop.
ThePoopDoctor
SugaryDart
"MIAK!" "Didn't think I'd be able to find it this time of year, did you TROLL?!"
Cranbananarama
If you hadn't, I would have. Thank you.
ImBiggusDickus
I was looking for this one. Only you get my +1
BoopedYourSnoot
Know what I mean, Vern?
ManMashine
God, i miss this guy :( A big part of my childhood was brightened up by Jim Varney as Ernest.
MrAsianGuy90
People that say "JIF" instead of "GIF"
corbynDallas
RELAVANTGIFMAKER
"data" instead of "data"
ILikeTheJiggles
cerpintaxt475
I don't understand what you're saying, since those acronyms are pronounced identically. Unless the second one is supposed to say "GUIF"
scanerang
It's the Netherlands not Holland! Dam morons!
grobesviech
What
[deleted]
[deleted]
grobesviech
Oh
JustALullabi
Let them beat up Holland, 10 better provinces left ;)
mmpmsfmm
Preach it brother!
saintjocks
Amen brother amen
DutchymcDutchface
Goddamn right!
DookieHowserMD
People who say vanella instead of vanilla
dovebair
That might be a sinus obstruction issue.
snoogans671
where do you stand on Washington vs Worshington?
TedTheMan
Wash.
DookieHowserMD
Thank you, there isn’t an ‘o’ or and ‘r’
bearwizard
Wort do you mean
DookieHowserMD
KungFuGsus
JUST GIVE HIM A GLASS OF MOULK
WithaChainedHorseDick
Donovan, inside voices please
DaYooper
Sorry dad, my white friends.
Arracor
JOSH! POUR ME! A GLASS! OF MALK!!!!
b0Bm3h
You were like a brother, your hand was like a brother to me!
dargon
Love the Julian Smith reference.
killerqueen
Just give him the malk, Josh!
ijack
We’re all saying malk, Josh!
Sakenyi
IT IS TIME TO SHARE THE MJÖLK MY BROTHER
LEEEEROOOOYYYJEEEENNNKIIIINNNS
Say milkshake “milkshake”. Good, now say mIlk. “Moulk”. GOD DAMNIT
KnightStriker
omg that is nostalgic,
ChevyNova1973
GIVE HIM THE MALK JOSH
whiskyinajar
You guys aren't even saying the same thing!
LEEEEROOOOYYYJEEEENNNKIIIINNNS
We are BOTH saying malk, Josh.
thebluestthingsonearth
I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF OVER THIS
LordFenris
PUT THE GUN DOWN!!!
Arracor
YOU'RE LIKE A BROTHER TO ME! YOUR HAND IS LIKE A BROTHER TO ME!
Tollo92
You're saying it likes it's a disease
GirlInABearCostume
whatever happened to that guy?
LEEEEROOOOYYYJEEEENNNKIIIINNNS
I was wondering the same thing.
Th3Doo
Does really philosophical podcasts now, Spell Bound, worth a listen.
IFTTTEXAS
Went off the grid for a year. Now he does weird vlogs from his garage.
TuboThePanda
Melk is the Norwegian word for milk
chillinoodles
Welsh it's Llaeth / Llefrith
JBrownsMother
Terebravisse
Vær quit you dumming, you're gonna get our romper kicked!
ISeeYouvePlayedKnifeySpooneyBefore
A for effort
Salpinus
I just wish I could explain kylling, kjøttdeig, sjel og skjære to English speaking people.
dadanedude
Hungarian: Tej
NalaTheLionQueen
And the Afrikaans word as well
McGreed
Yeah, in Denmark we spell it Mælk, but pretty much pronounce it as melk.
laNikiNt
In Afrikaans, too. Pronunciation differs slightly though
lolaluftnagel
Well then they arent speaking english so they are using melk to mean melk and not melk to mean milk right?
bunnynamednelson
Yes
TuboThePanda
DoctorScientistPhdAtStuff
Wat
lolaluftnagel
Norwegians dont have the word 'milk' so they cant be pronouncing it incorrectly
Eranju
Well, sort of. Norwegian isn't actually one written language. It's two. "Melk" is Bokmål for milk. In Nynorsk we use "Mjølk".
JosteinCena
Implying that anyone actually uses Nynorsk.
Eranju
Only the civilized among us, I'm afraid. So a fair minority.
johnfromnorway
Ekte nordlenginger sier "mælk"
TheSurveyMan
Jaggu gøtt je sier mjølk da. Som en ekte Østlending skær gjæra
Godsmightypants
Oh snap!
einbandit
Rolig satan, rolig.
grimnorseman
No lyt du halda godt kjeft di hyse før eg tuppe deg i brunauget!
johnfromnorway
Den mest dialekt-forvirrende kommentaren jeg har sett til nå. Litt fra Troms, litt fra Helgeland, og litt fra København
JosteinCena
Unnskyld. Men jeg snakker ikke dansk-norsk.
Eranju
*facepalm* Yes. You kinda do.
corndoghooker
People say melk?
Alfy20
I do. I’ve always wondered why. I was born and raised in nw Montana and people there say milk so I don’t even know where I picked it up.
magneticgumby
North eastern PA here, whole family does, have friends from same area, they don't. weird ass dialect family picked up somewhere
geologistkendra
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ty62YzGryU4
drbabaloo
Come to Michigan. Tons of people say melk.
magneticgumby
Don't even have to go to MI. I'm from north eastern PA, whole family says melk. Didn't realize we were odd till college.
pygmypufftrampstamp
My sister is lactose intolerant. We use Melk to reference any non cow milk beverage.
middlehead
They're not people
ElbowDeepinaTinyOctopus
People will melk their accents for all they're worth. Don't have a cow, man.
zippyzozippyzayzippyzappyzoopyzee
laNikiNt
Afrikaans here. Pronounce Melk like 'Malck'
saintjocks
Yea we still need to send out dictoinairies instead of food to you guys.
laNikiNt
I think I need to send you a dictionary after you murdered the word 'dictionary'. Most South Africans speak pretty good English
saintjocks
as long they arn't as bad at writing like myself !!
abundantbadgers
Tolkien: "before he was Morgoth, he was known as the Valar Melk-"
Wereheretomakeyusmile
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/b/b1/Ketchup_or_Catsup.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120326145630
Ljungstrum
+1 for deep cut.
Kangadilla
MichaelTSM1
Instead of Tolkien
fireeternal
Long live our master MELKOR!
kr662
MichaelTSM1
That should say Morgoth, foo.
HartigansBumTicker
Melkor was not called "Morgoth" until he destroyed the Two Trees of Valinor, murdered Finwë, and stole the Silmarils in the First Age.
ErrareHumanumEww
.. Finish it.
BobotheButtClown
Wait, so Morgoth was a Valar as well? I had thought he was in another weight class entirely from Sauron, let alone Saruman and Gandalf.
abundantbadgers
I think specifically Sauron et al are in a lower class known as Maiar.
BobotheButtClown
Ohhhhhh, you're right, the Maiar serve the Valar, like awesome butlers to literal gods.
cheeseguy3412
joevair
I hope I never hear, "Spiders it is!"
TheDarkNerd
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diOhwvRYlsU
pitrack
There is no god. Only Amelia Badelia
amishcannoli
Dat dramatic editing
ASolitudeGuard
Saving this. Don’t know why, but I am.
InquisitorLexaeloftheOrdoHereticus
what is this from?
SecretlySpiders
.
cheeseguy3412
http://relative-pronoun.tumblr.com/post/93123264478
InquisitorLexaeloftheOrdoHereticus
nvm. Thought it was from an actual book.
Lierofox
Surprisingly, it's from MLP fanfiction, Princess Luna being a massive troll to a "prisoner."
Dreamdayer
It's like text-to-speech but without the last part.
OhKittyWhoaKitty
My friend said "felm" instead of film. It made me want to get kick her. My sister said "seens how" instead of "seeing how". We dont speak
TheEternali333
Far too many people say, "there's", when they mean, "there are". It's far too little to about convenience, it's just wrong.
BellCranel
My coworker says "ideals" instead of "ideas" and it is illegal to punch her. There is no justice in the universe.
islandlala
Victorywine and I both would like to punch her in the throat
Zandrake
I have brothers and friends who say "turrents" instead of "turrets".
OhKittyWhoaKitty
My stepdad said "igleast" instead of "at least", and usually in the wrong context. He also said "irregardless" instead of "regardless".
Greeneyeddevil
I had a co-worker who constantly said 'clo-saw' meaning coleslaw, but she loved it so said it constantly so I was driven insane, basically.
razzlemahfookintassles
My sister says Windsday instead of Wednesday. My dad says "fustrated", and a friend of mine says "antanna" which might be a Southern thing.
razzlemahfookintassles
I also hate when people say "conversate" it makes me boil inside for some reason.
cerpintaxt475
How about "orientate"? The dictionary says it's acceptable but I disagree.
razzlemahfookintassles
Ewww I hate that too. I don't hear it as often, but it would definitely make me cringe.
amagiciannamedgob
I was in class with a girl that said "fewdoh" instead of photo. Teacher had no idea wtf she was saying.
cerpintaxt475
My girlfriend says "fustrated" and "expresso" but I still love her.
IdleNarrator
sensible...
ThatLizardThatRunsOnTwoFeet
Warsh instead of wash!
Sauroctonus
"Redchester" instead of "register". Why? just WHY?
Oldbirdlady
Friend of mine says "yogrit" instead of "yogurt"
OhKittyWhoaKitty
Look into the laws in your state. I bet murder is legal in that case.
cerpintaxt475
While we're all listing these.... "suppose to" and "use to" instead of "supposed to" and "used to"
Banana4scale7
Knew some people in ND that would “broom” the floor instead of “sweeping” it. They also told me that ND has a highly ranked school system...
randomgibberish
"Would of, could of, should of" - *shudders*
OhKittyWhoaKitty
*has a massive seizure*
Cilvaa
My mum pronounced "film" as "fill-um". She was older. Both her and my sister say "me" instead of "my". Were Aussie, not ye olde British...
Toxicsinew
I now pronounce things wrong on purpose because of this video https://youtu.be/T4r91mc8pbo
XplodingUnicornGlitter
Ret00420
What the actual fuck.
eksoskel
This is horrific and I love it.
bingotown
Jesus Christ on a cracker what the hell was that?
corbynDallas
.
pleasewashyourbutthole
In the defence of felm... if you’re from Ireland or north England it’s the norm
OhKittyWhoaKitty
She's from Arizona and doesn't know anyone from anywhere outside the continental US.
SirLordWunderfrog
Nah. In Ireland it's "fillim"
zamielvanweber
Could be worse: Goodfellas mispronounced my town's name and now out of towners get pissed when they are corrected.
corbynDallas
Well, what was the name
zamielvanweber
I live in Apalachin which is pronounced differently than Appalachian. Goodfellas called it "Appalachian" and now people get it wrong and (1)
zamielvanweber
angry when they are told it's wrong because of the movie. One guy a know got into an argument with a college professor because of it. (2)
just4thelolz
I shudder when I hear "mewie" instead of "movie". Like how Brad Jones (Cinema Snob) pronounces it. Nothing against him of course.
OhKittyWhoaKitty
I can't eat fudgesicles to this day because of a girl I knew 30 years ago who said "fuddsicles".
VictoryWine
People who say "use to" and "suppose to" drive me nuts. Ya, a small error, only 1 letter, but it makes me wanna punch them in the throat.
IFTTTEXAS
I had a friend that used to say tooken. "My laptop got tooken in the robbery." We made fun of him relentlessly when th Taken movie came out.
morosemorgan1
Had a boss who said "livided" instead of livid and "opposed to" instead of supposed to. Every time.
alwaysL8
I have a close friend who says "somewheres else". It is a strain.
bingotown
That’s just folksy. They grow up in an extreme rural area?
alwaysL8
City of 800k, though I think he moved here when he was 6 or 7. Maybe small town before that, but that was 20 years ago
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
Used to like a guy who said," mines well" & went off on me when I told him it was "might as well." And used "defiantly" (definitely) etc. Ew
TwerkingLurker
We all make mistakes.
SociopathicOtter
Making mistakes is fine. Making mistakes and then attacking the person who corrected that mistake and continuing to make it? Not fine.
TwerkingLurker
Oh no, I meant the mistake of liking a guy like that.
TurningTurningIntheWideningGyro
I had a goddang English teacher who *always* pronounced phenomenon as "phenonemon". Plural was even "phenonema". Drove me insane.
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
Hahaha, I once had a high school (gr. 10) English teacher who used "who's" and "whose" interchangeably, which I found out later via Facebook
pinecone
But what if he's mining a well?
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
He's a douchebag, so he should drown in it
NonConformistFlamingo
One of my best friends constantly says "sell" instead of "sale." As in "this dress was on sell," "there's a puppy for sell." UGH.
OhKittyWhoaKitty
I know a lady who says that! She also says "dell" instead of deal. She doesn't have an accent or anything, just stupid.
textilelover
My husband says pellow instead of pillow. I love him even with his disability... :P
Sauroctonus
Maybe he just really likes Wet Wet Wet.
OhKittyWhoaKitty
You're very sweet to love someone with such a glaring handicap. I applaud you.
GRex2595
"Have ran," "granite," "supposably," "[others] and me [action]," and "defiantly." God, I fucking hate "defiantly" on the internet.
islandlala
And ‘woah’-it’s whoa, folktards, and realators to sell you a house close to a nucular plant?
OhKittyWhoaKitty
And "awe" or "aweee" instead of "aww" or "awwwww".
eksoskel
To be fair, 'seens how' is just an over-contraction of 'seeing as how' which is... A little better?
grobesviech
I don't understand the function of "as" here
eksoskel
I don't think it's grammatically correct. 'Seeing as' or 'Seeing how' would both be better, but it's a common phrase that tries to blend the
eksoskel
subtle differences between those two options.
bambulina
"all of the sudden" is one that really bugs me. Also "I seen it" (my uncles use that all the time)
OhKittyWhoaKitty
I knew a girl who legit would *type* "All the sund" when she meant "all of a sudden". I wanted to shoot myself when I would read it.
TurningTurningIntheWideningGyro
Yeah, what the hell! Everyone knows it's "I seen't it"
corbynDallas
Beat me
Lill9
What is wrong with all of the sudden?
bambulina
The phrase is "all of a sudden"
Lill9
Never knew this
bingotown
I know a woman who says “all of the suddenly” and it destroys me every time.
bambulina
Oh that's gotta just be trying for stupid
Clouddrivekid
My brother says " repeatively " he uses it in place of both repetitively and repeatedly. He's 32
amoeba15
Not too old for a pillow to the face.
GoldenSun3DS
Pillow fight!
spesialk1224
The world needs more people like you
cerpintaxt475
A pillow or a pellow?
OhKittyWhoaKitty
*scowls disapprovingly*
zippydee
The worst is absolute dumbasses who say "I could care less" instead of "I couldn't care less". THE FORMER MEANS YOU DO CARE, smh
moinonplus
I always thought of it as a shortened version of "As if/Like I could care less"...
mmmcunty
This is one of my all time biggest pet peeves.
theyar
It's so strange that so many people don't understand the sarcasm. Like, have you ever wanted someone to hurry, and you said, "today!" 1/?
theyar
Did you stop to consider that today could mean up until 11:59PM and therefore isn't really indicating that you want them to hurry much? 2/?
theyar
Also, never in the history of any language I know if has any expression ever suddenly dropped a word like "not" to become literally the 3/?
theyar
opposite of the original expression due merely to people "being dumb;" it's always because of sarcasm. If this were a thing that 4/?
Ealadon
I entertain myself, and only myself, by saying "I could care less" meaning that I care only a little, and confusing everyone else. I'm sad.
MisterDictionary
I could care less about your sister. Gimme a couple of minutes and I'll forget her completely, in fact.
Nerdygasm
Every time I hear it I just...
JeremyRedhead
Obligatory #xkcd: https://xkcd.com/1576/
Sirolfus
they both do
bigblindguy
No they don't I'm afraid. The phrase is "I couldn't care less". You might use "I could care less" to show interest, but noone ever has.
theyar
I'm getting tires of this argument but I guess I'll keep trying. You're wrong. Never in the history of any language has what you're 1/?
theyar
suggesting been true. Never have people just mistakenly turned a phrase into its literal opposite. It's sarcasm. Originally, anyways. It 2/?
IdleNarrator
people have been using it for around 50 years with that meaning. Unfortunately, this is how languages grow and change meanings of...
IdleNarrator
...certain phrases.
cerpintaxt475
"I could care less" bothers me too, but not nearly as much as "noone"
Dweeble666
When I first heard people saying this I thought I was going insane. Now I just assume they're retarded.
zippydee
That's the only reasonable assumption
MrRandom314159
I always just read it as, "I could care less if I cared more about caring less, but it'd be hard. Because I could care less."
theyar
No it's more, "it would be consoling to let you know that, despite how little I care, I probably still could care less."
MrRandom314159
I'll be honest, I could care less.
theyar
It's neither. It's because it's a real expression, originally meant sarcastically but now common enough that it just means don't care much.
Wankathon
In the UK we unfortunately have some people who say "filum"
climbontotheshore
Just teasing in case it wasn’t clear. But Irish people do say filum/filim
climbontotheshore
It’s an Irish thing, you XENOPHOBE
SxBobOmb09
And Geordie/ north east of England. They love a Filum.
Wankathon
Is it? Well some Brits are copying it and its horrible.
islandlala
Cough*aluminium*cough
Wankathon
thats how its said, alOOOOOminum is just lame