SkyPigeon123
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Dec 29, 2025 12:28 PM
SkyPigeon123
26889
680
19
SonOfScubaSam
Absolutely bring it up. Maybe he changed his mind, maybe he just hasn't gone through with it yet, maybe it was a major depressive episode and it subsided. At the end of the day, you don't know how serious he was, but people who write notes generally are right about ready to make an attempt. It's surely a relief, but are you willing to leave it to chance that those feelings don't come back? Bring it up, but make sure you are supportive and not judgemental. He probably needs some help.
HPCmonkey
Bring it all the way the fuck up. If that dude seems happy he is masking HARD. He doesn't want to burden you with his problems, so he needs you to burden him with your insistence. Your ceaseless unwavering demand.
faethorferenc
Depression is usually silent. It is not what happens when with other people. It is what happens inside of us when alone. Bring it up, or atleast show and tell him that you appreciate him, that he is enough for you. But don't try to pressure him to much about it.
tokenhooker
Just sat with a 29yo friend on Christmas night. She left, went home and hung herself. Laughed for hours beforehand. Fucking DO SOMETHING.
criminalsarcasm
I work in psych. When treating patients who are suicidal, don’t worry about “giving them ideas.” Ask questions. A person who has written a note likely has a plan, and knowing that plan can make all the difference. For example, knowing that they were planning on using a gun let’s you remove/hide it. I’m not saying a SO should be the one asking this because that could be tough, but I want people to know that asking if someone is suicidal shouldn’t be avoided as a trigger. It saves lives.
babayaghanoush
Suicidal people are convinced that their absence will be a relief for everyone. I’m only here because someone made sure I knew that idea was delusional. He needs to hear he’s not a burden.
Rips4w
If you weren't aware of a change in his overall demeanor 3 months ago, then you can't use his current jovial and attentive demeanor as evidence of the trouble being over. You need to talk to him.
TheBraveCompanions
There is also good clinical evidence that you can’t “suggest” someone into suicide. Asking someone “do you want to kill yourself?” Does not increase the risk of suicide, and in fact providers are encouraged to use direct and unambiguous language around this topic when speaking with patients.
Exyel
A lot of people seem to want to reply to her directly. Including a link to the actual post would have been nice :)
mllecamill3
tell him!
JamJarre
Talking about suicide doesn't make people more likely to commit suicide - it has the opposite effect. Confronting people head on about it is a powerful tool to get them to back away from any plans
TanithRosenbaum
I can confirm. People are suicidal because they feel useless and/or unloved. Telling the they are neither of these things does help. You're gonna have to repeat it for quite a while, weeks, months, years possibly, to really help, but it does help.
Columbus43219
Uh, if it doesn't have any names on it, he could have taken it from ANY husband out there.
yopick
“ For being and enough “ using special character. This looks like AI wrote this.
cousteau
Yeah but only like that specific word. It's weird.
gtotherizzle
It is always acceptable to talk about these things. Bringing it up will not "trigger" someone to do something rash. Quite the opposite, talking about it shows the person that you care and removes the possible shame or embarrassment the person is holding on to
gtotherizzle
Also if you are in the US and you or someone you know is in crisis please use 811 to speak with someone.
ArchSchnitz
Bring it up. The stages before a suicide are concealed, and there's a bout of happiness before the attempt as they've made a plan. Talk to him before it's too late.
Kaze54
For me it was like, nothing is my problem anymore. I was estatic. It was freeing.
eddbrowne
If you mention it or not, you can try to secretly address issues that could have some bearing on his thoughts.
sadurdaynight
Yeah the happiness is the "I've got a plan, have accepted going through with it, and all this weight is lifted off me so i can enjoy things a but before executing the plan".
BananaForScaIe
"I know I won't be a burden anymore" was a common thought for me. Having a plan, "helping" those I care about suffer less. Awful, awful thoughts, and so glad they're behind me (hopefully forever!).
4thwalled
I have one in my google keep notes on my phone. Wrote it a couple of years ago (or more). Some days it's more relevant than others.
JackSmiles2
bring it up because if it happens you will 100% never forgive yourself for not bringing it up. I know a friend who 15 years later still blames himself for his brothers suicide for not saying anything .
albaboss
“Useless” is the most common word in men’s suicide notes. If you’re feeling useless, I promise you are not. You are very much needed
mksu
I don't think writing a suicide note is necessarily a bad idea if you're already feeling rather suicidal, especially if it's not the last thing you're doing before you go through with it. It can help you get some of those feelings out and into words, which can in and of itself help relieve some of the burden and make you feel better. Obviously it's better to talk to a therapist, but I assume you're already doing that if able.
Rips4w
My cousin (basically my brother) told me that writing his suicide note was enough of a concrete step towards the end that it scared him to death enough to talk to his parents about how he was feeling.
emu314159127001
Only write it to show a therapist or someone you're talking to about it. Actually writing the note culminates suicidal ideation
Rips4w
Not always.
Chievestevenbouigon
Probably varies person to person
Cataleast
Everything does, but I'm sure anyone, who's had to deal with some heavy shit, will attest to how much writing and/or talking will affect your view on things. The physical act of externalising things by seeing yourself write or hearing yourself say those things tends to put a lot of things in perspective. Keeping all that shit in is an overpowering, suffocating experience, because it's so easy to get a sort of a maelstrom of shit going in your head that will only feed itself, exacerbating things.
Cataleast
Really should've thought that through instead of writing off the cuff. The amount of "things" being used would make a teacher weep.
iamlegendinjapan
The cheesy billboards talking about how conversations prevent suicide don't lie. talk to him
ThisIsMyUsernameThereAreManyLikeIt
You have to talk to him about it, or it will eat you up. And you won't know what he is going through and what his thoughts are if you don't. Talk to him. Be there for him (not saying you aren't already).
dixxienormus
Just make him a nice Beef Wellington with a wild mushroom duxelles stuffing. Then if the cops investigate - bring out the letter and say he was the cook.
RichardPenne
When you bring it up, be sure and tell him how much he is valued and how much he means to you and that you are sorry if you failed to fully communicate that with him.
yopick
Outside approval doesnt replace self approval. A person could get all the outside approval and still feel unfulfilled if they cannot resolve the inside voice calling them down. For all we know OP could giving them approval every day. And how do you think this would make them feel to tell them they still failed?
seeking to blame is not addressing the cause or meeting the need of what it means to feel approval.
This is where therapy among men really should be discussed and not shamed.
DMSledge
Therapy should be freely available to everyone.
I have seen it work wonders with family. It is great to have close people reassure that we are doing well, but these people still on the "inside". Someone on the "outside" listening and giving feedback can make all the difference.
Unfortunately it can be really hard to access. I am still struggling with my health and have no access to therapy. Mental health is not distinct from physical health. We need to start treating it from that perspective.
Oddnoodle
If this post is real... BRING IT UP. As someone who battles with depression everyday.... laughing, and smiles are easy masks.
KumquatKoppa
You can also just feel different things.
Laughing and smiling for a minute doesn't negate being depressed. Someone telling you a really funny joke doesn't negate depression, nor does it pay your bills.
Also, the idea of "they were laughing and smiling!" Is a very surface level idea of happiness. Most people seem to be surface level critical of... Everything, really.
Some of us have been masking since birth. I'd have to sense some genuine interest, and that doesn't work for everyone who masks.
NickNoltesDrinkingShack
Sure, they will probably be mad at first. Seeing that. The shame. Hopefully they'll be able to see, later, at least the had someone who cared and tried.
deaththeunholy
They may have different thoughts on your ideas about them if you don’t tell them explicitly. Tell them they’re enough and you want them to stay or they may think differently on their own and it’s too late. People are inside their own head more than we give them credit for
RecurringNightmare
the original post is on reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/1n7elkq/i_found_my_husbands_goodbye_letter_hes_still_alive/
ThatswhatIwasthinking
That's what I was thinking
MrBigBuns
also afaik, making somebody promise not to off themselves is really effective. Especially when you tell them how important they are to you.
akafluffy
that sounds like a worse plan than just getting a dog, in my worst days, just having to get up to walk the dog did more to keep me getting up than any amount of promises.
Evi1Gav
Do not fucking do this, ever. It may stop something short term, but you create a feedback loop. Your statement is saying "my happiness is more important than your pain". It is horrifyingly destructive.
MrBigBuns
just read up. Apparently they recently changed the training after research showed its negative impact caused by shame. TIL, thanks for the pointer.
TrumpRapesChildren
Depression is one of the hardest fights you'll ever fight. It's an opponent that never sleeps, never tires, and never ceases to be able to sit and bode it's time to strike. It revels in your moments of happiness and rebound because it will use them as ammunition the next time you hit a slump, telling you the happiness you thought you found was a lie, that you were fooled, you don't deserve it.
Bullshit.
Fight like you're the 3rd monkey at Noah's ark and brother it's starting to rain.
chaoskitten1331
I’m sorry you’re in that space… I understand where you are coming from, and I hope you don’t
Smartbutnotreally
This is a cry for help.... Bring it up... You won't regret it... Don't bring it up and you may regret it..
Subsound
https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1YnI0NXd6bzRyOHpseDRjNXhtYnZjYzJvZjl2NW12Y3VvcHI4dmY4NyZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/uXaJ4Jv2htFy7wfQbm/200w.webp
anender
Maybe show that you care and value the person?
yopick
Self approval issue still needs to be resolved. Therapy among men needs to stop being shamed.
anender
If your opinion of yourself is not based on facts, then you need to consider other people's opinions of your value. Objectively, you should see if their opinions point out errors/omissions in your facts, or how you view/interpret your facts. Self-approval ought to be based on facts, and from there you should move to doing the work; working to improve yourself (and try to do things that can verified/documented, and are independent of others gaslighting you).
yopick
Indeed, Other people in your life can only support. they can’t build you from the ground up. That’s what therapy helps you with. And you have to be invested in yourself enough to seek this help.
And yes, pushing it onto others does make a person more vulnerable to gaslighting.
You still need to do the work of filtering which safer ones to let in.
Rogerwilco1974
#1 What is happening here? Is this a generative AI artefact?
GeeeButtersnaps
AI generated stories come out as regular text, I'd imagine this was a low res screenshot of a post and someone used the "increase resolution" button on their phone so it's basically an AI upres, the story could also be ai gen who knows but that's my best guess for that artifact. Then again I'm no expert.
RecurringNightmare
its some weird text-to-picture function that fucked it up apparently, fudged the words around a bit there for no reason: https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/1n7elkq/i_found_my_husbands_goodbye_letter_hes_still_alive/
AndThenThereWereSquirrels
aaaaaaaaand it's from a spambot account. awesome
yousersubzero13
Autocorrect strings again!! See? Just like that. I left strings on purpose, though it was supposed to say "strikes". Took me 4 tries to get it right
anerdwithaknife
Look again. For autocorrect to be a valid reason the characters themselves need to actually exist in the alphabet. Something obviously went wrong there because the sentence itself is broken, regardless if it was just AI image upscaling artifact or if it's a completely generative image.
CheeseB0t
Upscale artefact
onlymostofthetime
AI slop
AceBandito
keyboard hiccuped
Nephelus
I put the image through 4 AI image detectors. 2 said "real"; 2 said "AI gen". *Shrug*. It's definitely sus.
Xenarion
AI detectors tend to flag the US constitution as AI-generated.
ThisIsMyUsernameThereAreManyLikeIt
Why in the fuck are anyone trusting AI image detectors?
BrockEffingSamson
AI detectors are as reliable as AI, which is to say: Not at all.
BlindPiranha
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1eW8zdHI5aXZwbjk5a21tZmkwdGMxbno3aGx4MmtzMXRieTlpdjJ4ZiZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/5xtDarmwsuR9sDRObyU/200w.webp
SirLantsBojangles
post-turing-test world type-shit
cousteau
I keep seeing shit like this every now and then, like "why is there an AI-generated-looking word in the middle of this plain text post?". I have no idea why it is a thing. It's kinda scary.
CheeseB0t
Everything is scary when you don't know how anything works.
tylerlarson
Good lord. People are all so AI-jumpy on this app.
CheeseB0t
They are and it's really sad
yopick
Intelligence shaming. Get off.
Lovecards
That’s something AI would say!!
MatrimBloodyCauthon
Tylerlarson is an AI! GET HIM!!!!
tylerlarson
Beep beep boop.
Comment interpretation consistent with potential discovery.
ABANDON TASK.
MatrimBloodyCauthon
AI'll let it slide this time.
StevenAlleyn
“Sorry for being [unintelligible] enough” was that word cut or censored?
InitHello
It doesn't exist on the original reddit post.
yopick
That’s where it looks like this might be an AI bot posting this.
cousteau
I know of AI bots generating botched text, but writing posts using botched characters?
LicensedAdHominem
"He wrote that he was sorry for not being enough." on the original. https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/1n7elkq/i_found_my_husbands_goodbye_letter_hes_still_alive/
cousteau
OK, then what the fuck?
LicensedAdHominem
At first I thought it's some botched AI upscaling, which bots tend to do, but the original words don't match. Same with a strange attempt at a sort of ellipsis. For a full re-generation, it's too clean. It's bizarre, and in my professional opinion fuck me if I know
cousteau
It's like they moved a word and then patched the resulting hole with garbage letters.