Texts from fetus dump.

Mar 11, 2017 9:05 AM

scotsberto

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226619

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4979

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390

Thank the heavens that my fetus never kicked my ribs I was terrified by the stories I've heard

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Oh god. I still can't eat tuna. First trimester and I got a scale in my tuna sandwich. Vomit factor 2

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

When I read these I read "Fetus" and Francis and thought it was like a busted pipe or something I got very concerned and confused

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

this just solidifies my repulsion to ever being pregnant

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

#15 Nah, I'll just hang around for almost another month.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yeah.... pregnancy and kids aren't for me

9 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 1

New phone, who dis?

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

There it is...

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

"lol so cute" - Facebook comment. My cousin Jen thought that running while pregnant could give the baby 'shaken baby syndrome' X3

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Currently pregnant. Can confirm

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

30 weeks pregnant here. The bladder one is oh so true. My fetus has a personal problem with my bladder.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Nowadays these little bastards are born with cellphones in their hands

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Pain underneath your right lower ribs can actually be a sign of developing preeclampsia.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This is how I imagine Gordon Ramsey was born

9 years ago | Likes 399 Dislikes 3

"GET THIS PIZZA OUT OF HERE WTF"

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I just saw this comment as I'm watching Hotel Hell

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I dated a girl in high school that kicked her mom in the ribs so hard as a fetus that it bruised mom's ribs and baby never developed 3 toes.

9 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

These texts are clear red flags. Abort! Abort mission!

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

All true. Fetuses are buttheads and they will dance on your bladder. I'm cool now cause my kids give me tips on games.

9 years ago | Likes 129 Dislikes 0

Pretty sure my fetus is spread eagle in there with a foot stuck in each rib.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well, that and your blood level increases drastically which sends your kidneys into overdrive. Hence you pee a lot.

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

Who the hell jogs while their pregnant. Damn masochists.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

For something that just moved in it sure had a lot to complain about

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

This is hilarious, laughed for long time. Glass one is really nice

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Mom humour

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The foot in the ribs was only slightly less bad then the morning sickness.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I didn't even get the sex joke until I read the negative comments

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Favourited to show my pregnant sister

9 years ago | Likes 59 Dislikes 2

Congratz on being a dad!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I have a vagina

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Lol me too

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

RIP Fartsprinkle ????-2017

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Some are a bit inaccurate. The baby should be more concerned with the loud noises from outside. I'm pregnant and my baby freaks out at the

9 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 2

Sounds of vacuuming and dropping things.

9 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 2

A girl friend in the Army had her baby so high up that on the ultrasound his butt was in her ribcage. 1/2

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

2/2 At one point she started gasping for breath as the baby moved...

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Lmao the snake one took me a sec

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

I don't get it.. ;__;

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

And you never will...

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

It's daddy coming for a visit ;)

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

I...I thought it was the umbilical cord. Oh God...

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Oh... oh god...

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

What do people call a guys mini me sometimes?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

._.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

There you go!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"Oh thank god, looks like someone is actually going to vacuum in here. Wait..."

9 years ago | Likes 798 Dislikes 33

Omg lol

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Harry Potter casts Fetus Deletus

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I admit it, I laughed.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 2

Christmas time is once a year, every critter holds it dear...

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Oh nooooooooooo

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Holy crap that was savage

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Oh Jesus- that was good @mydixierekt1911. Then Bam!!!- your name is good too. You are one funny mother fucker!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 1

My son was vacuumed. Different meaning though. I wasn't able to push him on my own after three hours. O,o I had to have help. LOL

9 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 2

I got stuck. They put a plunger-looking thing on my head and had to help pull me out.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Pulled me out with tongs.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They used pliers on me. They used a suction cup on my friend

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

They just cut me out.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My mom said my head was weird shaped for about a month after that. All three of her children gave her problems. Poor woman. I got stuck, 1/2

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

my little brother tried to be a breach baby and they had to turn him around inside her. And my older brother had the cord around his neck.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 134 Dislikes 8

That was horrible! lol

9 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 2

I for some reason love watching women get hit in the vagina.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 38

9 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 1

There 2 kinds of people in this world

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 3

Source: https://youtu.be/AF_nfazQaek

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I appreciate the context.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What the hell? D: That's not funny, that's just awful. :(

9 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 53

It's funny. So is a guy getting hit in the balls. Inked it's you :(

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 24

Unless*

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 14