"My friend and I are weird and send each other weird things" dump #19

What's up, buttercups? You get spooky, Tolkien, AND Pratchett today, because why not.

Today's fun adventure with my weirdo: went "browsing" for Halloween decorations, found a 30kg headless horseman statue, she bought it for another friend of hers, and we lugged it all the way to the bus stop (which normally takes 5 min) for half an hour. Because that's what sane people do.

I'm insane, but I'm a good friend, you wouldn't wanna lose me. If you do - a plague on both your houses.

I cannot feel my arms...

Afraid of making some death-long friends?

Damn, I need a cat.

-.-

How to get rid of your demons.

Aww, shucks!

Isn't this that fucker from "You"?

Accurate, but that apostrophe is bugging me.

Cause they're cool. Long gone. Also long gone. 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney. As a Pringle. Maybe. Put up or shut up.

My weirdo to me, especially after today.

If you have a buddy struggling with depression, don't pressure them by saying shit like "Just be happy!" - it's stressful and makes us think we're not good enough. Just include them, give them shnacks, and be there for them. You monsters.

At least on the "cannibal serial killer" front, I'm safe.

I swear, if someone took photos of us lugging that goddamn horseman around, and we become a meme... I'd be okay with that.

Thanks to @Valentyan again for supplying some of the memes today.

Friend's Siri: You could dress up as a lip balm and tell people you're "The Balm". Pun-y fucker.

Well duuh.

Fuck that, I'm the queen!

...for now.

<3

Only flat earth that counts.

In other news, I want a new tattoo.

I broke down and cried ugly tears the day he left early to avoid the rush.

Strictly speaking, that is not part of the job description.

Stay fantastically spooky, children.

Front page edit: the fucker in question
https://imgur.com/a/KQ6ANyC