Surprise Fuddermucker

Oct 18, 2016 12:30 AM

Twiddlederf

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223896

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9856

Dislikes

324

So I'm in the bathroom and I hear the robber screaming at the cashier demanding the goods. I look down and notice my radio isn't on me, I took it off in the car. Still had my utility belt though. I slowly open the door just enough to peek outside but I'm in a separated hallway and can't see around the corner. I grab my tazer out of the holster and get ready to peer around the corner. I take a quick look and see two of them, one has a pistol right in the woman's face as the other one raided the register and the cigarettes. She begs for them not to shoot her, pleading not to make her children motherless. Since there's two of them and one of me, I put my bug zapper back in its cage and pull the G17. Not stopping it now. Mind is racing, heart is pounding, sweat beading off my brow.
3..2..1..deep breath.. Go time.
I step from around the corner and announce my presence, ordering the men to the robbers to stop and put their weapons on the ground. The one taking the cigarettes drops behind the counter and hides, while the one with the begins to turns towards me. I squeeze my trigger and the bullet rips through his shoulder. Non fatal shot. But he's down. The kid behind the counter stands up with his hands raised in the air. He proceeds to tell me that he didn't even want to do this but was forced by the other guy. I order him from behind the counter and place him in cuffs. I cuff the guy with a new hole in his arm and keep my gun trained on them. I use the phone behind the register to call for an ambulance and backup. The cashier was so grateful she told me I could get free coffee and a donut anytime she's there.

is THERE A LINK TO A NEWS STORY ABOUT THSI?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

r/thistotallyhappenedyouguysseriouslyforrealsiesiswear

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Fucking FFAAKKEE

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

I can make up stories too

9 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 5

Mind is racing, heart is pounding, head is sweating, pants are sagging, hands weak, trigger finger ready, moms spaghetti

9 years ago | Likes 65 Dislikes 1

TunaJr is the real OP.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The fact that you grabbed the Tazer first disturbs me. Unknown situation, I'm going for my side arm.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 3

I don't know... I want to believe but... seems made up as shit.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

On behalf of IMGUR police everywhere. This is bullshit.

9 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 2

Of course it is. We all know a genuine story would have started with, "So you guys like Police Stories?" and had multiple tidbits to scroll.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

And then he looked down and his penis was still out from his piss

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The cashier was so grateful she let you steal from the owner?

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

This. And in many years as a clerk, cop customers NEVER accepted free goods, offered many times. Most said it was forbidden.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This. And in many years as a clerk, cop customers NEVER accepted free goods, offered many times. Most said it was forbidden.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You were off-duty yet had two sets of handcuffs?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

His wife was expecting him.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

OP seems to enjoy the whole shooting people part a little too much

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Tazer in an unknown situation and two sets of cuffs? Sorry, calling BS

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 4

Some departments do carry 2 sets of cuffs. And until a weapon is out, there's no need to escalate a situation to lethal force.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

Here, officers carry 2 sets of cuffs, and zip ties

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm pretty sure every cop does or should carry two. Or at least zip ties.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'd like to believe this is true.

9 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 8

Maybe it happened on the way to Thor's Hammer - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqcnUD468no

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

But I don't...

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 9

amen, I think OP would like it to be true.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"I'm here to wipe my ass and fuck up a suspect, and I'm all out of toilet paper"

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Yeah not really buying it op. Cops don't talk like that..

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 2

Eh...I grew up with a family of cops. They adjust their patterns of speech for civilians.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 2

Ding ding ding

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

ding ding nope.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I don't know why this makes me so mad. @OP is not a cop, but is pretending to be one for Internet points. Feels similar to stolen valor.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

I can't believe you lot are still falling for this idiots bullshit. This guy is a mallninja, not a real cop.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

More holes in this story than shots fired.

9 years ago | Likes 42 Dislikes 5

YEP. I cringed at "I cuff the guy with a new hole in his arm and keep my gun trained on them." You holster and secure your firearm (1/2)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Calling BULLSHIT.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 2

before you physically detain a suspect. (2/2)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I don't know about your uniform, but here it would be unusual to take your radio off, leave it in the car but still have your gun/taser on.

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Also is it normal to take your gun,taser, radio etc home with you? All that normally stays at the station.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 4

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[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Oct 18, 2016 8:10 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Yeah, in NZ. Things could be different in the US.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

[deleted]

[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Oct 18, 2016 7:19 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Oh ok, I could be wrong then. Still suspicious of this post though, and the language used lol.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Excuse me for being skeptical, but this story just doesn't add up.

9 years ago | Likes 52 Dislikes 12

9 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 3

Check his other posts, there is like zero chance he is real cop. Somebody is ego tripping in internet.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

He's not. I'm a cop. He doesn't even have similar verbiage to a LEO

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Haha yeah...."I squeezed my trigger...."

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This guy sounds like someone that applied to be a cop but failed the PT or entrance exam (or both).

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"Later I asked the clerk how much money the robber would have stolen. He said 'about tree fiddy.' And about that time I noticed..."

9 years ago | Likes 462 Dislikes 17

And that Loch Ness Monster was Albert Einstein.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 5

Oh your the real hero here!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

This is where I thought the story was going ????

9 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 3

me too

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Funny enough for me, I thought this story was heading for that one Eminem rap

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

The clerk was actually a 50-foot-tall crustacean from the Paleozoic Era!

9 years ago | Likes 122 Dislikes 3

Crustacean?!

9 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 1

I know right! Most commonly believed to be a plesiosaurus, Nessie would be a member of the Sauropterygia from the Mesozoic era.

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

And I know the correct equivalent to Crustaceae in taxonomic terms would have to be Vertebrata, but that just sounds to general.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Is capable of using terms like "crustaceae" and "vertebrata"...uses the wrong version of "too".

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That would have been fucking hilarious.... but frustrating af

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

A much more likely story than the one OP told.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 11

Y'all thumb him down, but he's right.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

Screw the haters OP. I believe this happened and I thank you for what you do.

9 years ago | Likes 91 Dislikes 20

Well I dunno. I never think I can tell.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Yes

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 5

Believe what you will, but there are a lot of holes in this story.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

+1 this.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 7

I thought the first paragraph was going to end in mom's spaghetti.

9 years ago | Likes 2267 Dislikes 7

Fuck, I am going to start adding that to my stories now.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I was expecting this, and about tree fiddy. Oh imgur has ruined me

9 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

I heard, "Going the Distance" by Cake for some reason.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I skim through all these looking for the usual suspect keywords. I don't trust no posts no mo'.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'm actually a little disappointed it didn't, to be honest. But good job OP!

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 2

9 years ago | Likes 56 Dislikes 0

I love when underneath a reaction gif there's an old gallery post with comments and stuff, instead of just an unpublished upload. It's neat.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 3

Someone needs to make a behind the gif for this.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I thought it was good to end in three giddy

9 years ago | Likes 210 Dislikes 1

same. scrolled down to see if it was three fiddy :D

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

yup same

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I read utility belt and was trying to figure out how he was going to end up being Batman.

9 years ago | Likes 54 Dislikes 0

Man I love the trust Imgur has in other users lol

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

is this how we become skeptics?

9 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

Because of online meme references? Yes.

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Shit op of this is real I honestly, genuinely and from the bottom of my heart applaud your gigantic metal balls

9 years ago | Likes 684 Dislikes 12

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[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Oct 24, 2016 12:29 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Is it true?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Is it true?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The lady gets held at gunpoint, the robber gets shot right in front of her. Reaction? -Thankyou officer you can have free coffee and donut!

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 3

I'm sure she said that after all the commotion

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Whether you believe it or not is up to you. Never a dull day at work. I dont get something like this, but shit happens

9 years ago | Likes 303 Dislikes 12

SOURCES

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I'm going to go ahead and imagine you as a late 90's Bruce Willis type, saving the girl and not killing the asshats. Just amazing.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

at interesting times apparently

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

*always get. And thank you

9 years ago | Likes 176 Dislikes 8

Getting free donuts and coffee though now aren't ya! Good effort

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

And now we expect a Workstories post or 5 :P

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

its not that its unbelievable, it just seemed to be writen in the way of a joke paragraph, like one that would end in tree fidey

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And sometimes it happens while you're taking a shit. :^)

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Hah "shit happens" i see what you did there

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Link to newsstory. This IS the internet after all. We don't believe everything. Well. Some of us do, BUT NOT ALL OF US!!!

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 2

Either the story is fake or OP doesn't want us knowing who he/she is. My bet is on it being fake.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Good show by the cop. Fuck the author tho. "Isn't clear if the criminals opened fire", not a requirement for use of force FFS. TY for share

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

You have to at least take Three bullets before you're allowed to draw your weapon and fire, obviously.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Shit like this is why I go straight home after shift. Good job, brother.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Curiously: is the shoulder the least damaging non-fatal shot? I'd have thought the thigh or bicep of some sort?

9 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 3

Thigh means you still can be shot, as you haven't disabled the arm. Bicep = smaller target, so more likely to miss, and again, have you shot

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I would say the guy got lucky. OP was probably aiming center mass, meaning chest, thats where your supposed to aim.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Part 2: but yes, as they stated it is more likely to end up with them damaged or bleeding out along with you dead.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You bleed out like a motherfucker if you get hit wrong in the thigh.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You shoot center mass to stop...this isn't the movies also thier are major arteries in the thigh probably not the best places to take a slug

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Make believe bullets are the least damaging, as in all of OP's fantasies.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I don't see how you get much choice, honestly. You aim for the mass and hope it hits without any collateral.

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Everyone always thinks police are trickshot sharpshooters who aren't under any pressure when they fire

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Last I heard, they were all human.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Limb shots are always a missed shot. The criminal got lucky is all

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What about thigh?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Femoral artery

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

Dangerous to get shot anywhere, really. Shooting center mass is more about 'not missing' than not hitting an artery though, is it not?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ohhhh never thought about that one.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Plus high chance of missing. So if you hit, the guy dies anyway, if you miss, someone else dies. Stop trying to save criminals

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Because its not a matter of saving them at zero cost. Saving them is incredibly high risk to the people there. If you shouldnt kill them,

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Also harder to hit than center mass.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hitting the bicep the wrong way or using a larger caliber could devastate the muscle or shred the whole arm

9 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 4

Also, hitting the thigh could in the wrong spot could cause him to bleed out in a few minutes. However, @OP Thank you for your service!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Because when using deadly force, that's a real consideration. It's like sterilizing the needle for lethal injection. You're so full of crap.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Did you go for non-fatal on purpose despite the immediate threat to her life?

9 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

Non fatal shots are impossible from a physiologic standpoint. Bullets can kill no matter where you shoot. No one will ever intentionally

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Shoot a limb. Those are always lucky (for the criminal) missed shots.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You shoot for center mass. If the shot takes the person down and they're no longer a threat, you stop shooting.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Like if you hit the arm with the hand holding the gun.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

To be honest I was aiming to kill him. But I pulled the trigger before he fully turned, thus wounding

9 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 2

where's the source? should made the news right? or did you make this up like your other stories

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They don't teach you to wound

9 years ago | Likes 43 Dislikes 2

I'd love to be able to do that. We're taught to take a lethal shot as it's lethal force required to shoot.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

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[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Oct 18, 2016 12:52 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

I find that slightly odd. In Denmark they are told to wound, unless kill is the only way out. Guess that's the difference between countries

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Interesting. Here, police are trained to do the exact opposite unless the situation REALLY dictates a fatal shot. This is in /1

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Good to know, I was just curious since all I know is what I see in fiction.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

which is good. ofc you train to hit the chest - it's the easiest target. you could train zo shoot the gun out of his hand though

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 5

They also don't teach you to kill. They teach you to eliminate the threat.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Who the fuck robs a gas station that has a cop car outside

9 years ago | Likes 887 Dislikes 19

As a cop, the only thing i can think of is how i would never shit in any gas station.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Calling BULLSHIT on this fake cop wannabe.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 7

A relative of this Darwin Award winner http://www.snopes.com/crime/dumdum/gunshop.asp

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Someone with a hole in their shoulder

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

And his friend.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Why rob in the first place especially with a weapon. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 9

It's not cool to do, but I understand the logic of it. Easy money if you get away with it.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

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[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Oct 18, 2016 4:21 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

Lol your response made me L oh L. You really said cops dont shit at gas stations lmaoo. As if hes not a regular citizen too. IGNORANT

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Are cop dramas your main source of information regarding the police? Sure seems like it.

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

Damn I wish I knew what the original comment was

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Essentially saying all cops do is falsify records and pull women over to force them into sex.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Found the BLM supporter

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 7

What did the commentnsay? He deleted because he feared backlash.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Who poops without their cell phone?

9 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 2

Do you wipe with it?

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 16

Maybe?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Old people

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Police usually leave the cars at the station and don't take them home.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

and dont have belt and weapon on them when goin home

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 3

Actually many, if not most take their weapon home.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

we live in different countries. not sure about 'murica, friend) isnt it forbidden to take equipment home?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

This thread is about an event in the US (or 'Murica, if thats still funny), I felt it was OK to assume we were referring to police in the US

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I had a guy try to rob my 7-eleven with 2 uniformed cops getting coffee inside. The cops said robbers get tunnel vision sometimes.

9 years ago | Likes 88 Dislikes 0

Yup. So do cops. So does everyone in certain situations.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 2

Like when going through tunnels.

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

Except for tunnel snakes. Because they rule!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Had a robbery in my town a few years ago- dude walked right past two uniformed officers IN LINE at the register to try and rob the place.

9 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

I would have loved to see the officers' expressions.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Dramatic reenactment: https://youtu.be/gaUqdIFUbxE

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Sounds like he missed being in prison to pulled out the "go directly to jail and don't pass go" card.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Friend manages gas station in tiny town/suburb. Only gas station in the area so the local police use it to gas up, get coffee, etc. (1/?))

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Dude tries to rob him as he's chatting with 4 uniformed officers 20 feet away from him. Three older guys all share "WTF" look. (2/?)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Unfortunately for robber-Dude, officer #4 was the typical young man with an adrenaline addiction. Robber bounced off the tile. Fin

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Worked at a conv. store overnight, in a small town about 40k. Usually an officer or two would stop in, but one night they all decided /1

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

to show up for some reason. 3-4 regular squads, plus the K-9 unit. All I could say "I guess I don't have to worry about getting robbed" lol

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I was off work in my personal vehicle

9 years ago | Likes 847 Dislikes 13

every cop I know drives their cop car home to and from work. plus cops are trained to kill not to wound people armed with guns

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 7

1) you either dont know a lot of cops or 2) you dont get out much or 3) all of the above.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Do you normally carry your taser?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

But still in uniform?

9 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

Literally states he was on his way home from work, so no issues there.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I live in a neighborhood with two officers, they tend to come home in personal vehicles with their radios & other gadgetry things.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Not all officers get take home vehicles, it's contingent on the department.

9 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

He could have just gotten off from from and was heading home.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Guess he got dressed at home and not the police locker room... is that a thing? Cop locker room?

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

At The department I interned at they weren't allowed to have a uniform on off duty so they all changed in the locker room

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Super Troopers says yes. Aside from that I have no idea.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Depends on the department. It varies. Most have one, some required to use it, some optional to dress at home.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I only dressed in the locker room for about 4 years of my 11. The rest of the time I dressed at home (And drive my own car to and from)

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

That clears it up. Cop locker room is a thing but not everyone uses it

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Please please please supply link to the local TV story about this! It would make for epic reading!

9 years ago | Likes 148 Dislikes 3

W8ting @OP

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 3

Even if it is real, I don't think he could share it since it would be an active investigation. He could probably get in trouble for it.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Read his other posts, they're all fake as shit

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 4

This whole post hinges on the response to this

9 years ago | Likes 82 Dislikes 1

o.0

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Look at his other posts...... they're all completely bs

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

,

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

im calling bs.

9 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 31

You must be new here. OP is a known cop and does awesome story writeups of his adventures.

9 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 3

*

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

'Local cop saves the day while missing a few smears in his pants'

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Proof or you are a LIAR.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

It might reveal his identity. A police officer with a imgur username as @Twiddlederf ? That'll be an excellent alternative to current news!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

Wait, people think this BS is real? Come on imgur... you can do better :(

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 6

Yeah, I HIGHLY doubt a cop who shot somebody - even if they did deserve it - running to the internet to post "I did good!".

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

His account is mostly cop stories

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

@OP

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

He has left us hanging, confirmed BS

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

. (Pls deliver @op)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Did you get a chance to wipe? Or were your underpants in for a shitty day.

9 years ago | Likes 2514 Dislikes 14

Brilliant

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I know this is the obvious question we all had in mind. But why is it the top comment...

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Some other shit needed wiping first

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thanks man, I was going to ask the same thing. It's the important questions that matter.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I'm picturing his pants still down the whole time.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Heh, duty

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

This was also my first thought. Thanks for asking for me

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well, hopefully he didn't shit in the urinal, right?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Asking the important questions.

9 years ago | Likes 164 Dislikes 0

Hey a clean butt is nothing to laugh at.

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

But a dirty one is.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

dirty cops everywhere hahaha

9 years ago | Likes 84 Dislikes 1

I know, they're pretty crappy

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Dirty "Ass" cops everywhere*

9 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

goddamn this made me laugh. i needed that today. thank you.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I was in the middle of wiping. Not my best work, but sufficient

9 years ago | Likes 2918 Dislikes 8

Good Job @OP. Thank you for your service. Lots of us out there love and support you guys, even after getting a ticket :)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I was half expecting this to be a joke story where the fictional officer did all this with his pants down...

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Thank you for your service, OP

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I imagine the cashier had a few new stains after that as well.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Smell that? That's the scent of justice.

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

nice but you forgot to wash your hands

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's me every time.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ain't nothin as bad as mud butt. Good work tho OP. Pants off to you.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Thank you for your service. I would love to buy you a new pair anyday.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

But did you flush?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I dub thee, Officer Shitpants. Go forth, and stop crime.

9 years ago | Likes 284 Dislikes 2

I bet this lead to a STREAK of arrests.

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

So you're saying Hillary does a better job wiping than you did in this instance?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

How often do you clean your belt? I never wash mine and I poop often. Might be why I get pink eye once in a while.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Did you finish after?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Probably needed to. I would

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I wouldn't have. Since OP was on the way home I would have just showered.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Make sure that you sanitize your Glock my friend. I should do that with my G27...poopy germs getting up in there...

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I too, favor the glock 27. She's my favorite carry gun, may I never have to use it.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Same. Taking life is never taken lightly.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

First off This was an awesome story and thank you for your service to your community @OP. It was interesting to get a small glimpse 1/?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Into what goes through an officers mind before confronting armed assailants. Also with everything in the media it was nice to hear that 2/?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

No one was killed and that you at least considered a less lethal method. Did your department train the shoot to injure > shoot to kill 3/?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Or was that just your judgement call? Wish I was on mobile so I could message that question just trying to take the opportunity to ask you.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I wear red so bad guys cant see me bleed. See this guy gets it, that's why he wore the brown pants today.

9 years ago | Likes 62 Dislikes 2

Red isn't so good at masking brown tho

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 3

+1 for Deadpool quote.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 2

I just got this now!?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Was waiting for the gif.. slightly disappointed, but still satisfied

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My apologies, I couldn't find my gif for it.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Did you flush? I'm guessing you were trying to stay quiet, and never flushed.

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Love the name sir

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The jobs not complete until the paperwork is done.

9 years ago | Likes 61 Dislikes 0

nice!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He finished wiping with it.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

"This is what I think of your paperwork"

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 975 Dislikes 2

9 years ago | Likes 115 Dislikes 1

So much air escaping my nose right now

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Oh yes the cowboy shit walk stance. Very impressive.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

First time this meme made me laugh thanks

9 years ago | Likes 152 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

You're on FIRE...pardon the expression.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Funny, 'cos I still smell a strong hint of bullshit.

9 years ago | Likes 106 Dislikes 74

I think you may have forgotten to check his/her profile. Seems legit.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Another one makes play for fake internet points by calling a story fake! Will he make the big bucks?! 41 so far. Oh, the suspense!

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Back down to 39 as of me.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Go shower then

9 years ago | Likes 270 Dislikes 7

Buuuurrrrrn.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Hahah I thought you'd been had. Way to dig your way out of the shit

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Oooooohhh dayamn!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Good thing you're a police officer, 'cuz that guy just got straight-up MURDERED, son!! hahaha

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Is there a barista in here cus things just got dark!

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Geezus your aim IS good!

9 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Lol, nice!

9 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

Rekt.

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

good shit!

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Shot*

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0