MiltonBerle
140328
2179
48
Mar 25, 2018 11:40 AM
MiltonBerle
140328
2179
48
theboobsabide
About tree fiddy
GarbageKoala
if pretending to eat god's creation is holy, isnt actually eating god's creations even holier? there are hundreds of cases of ritual abuse
Pillpooper
Tasty:
NeoGenus59
Bout 10000
AllTheGoodOnesWereGone
"Ask Mister Owl"
krissypoojackets
You guys, the edgy comments don’t really carry too much weight, I’m gonna need at least an attempt at creativity.
PolyphaseAvatron
Mom forced me to go to church as a boy and was forced to eat the body of Christ. Then mom would flip her shit when I bit my nails.
HiddenPowerTaco
The world may never know
brookelyn1899
I think the appropriate answer is one bite is too much and 1,000 bites is never enough
LunarDestructor
Hail Satan, Rain Satan, Snow Satan. Tomorrow we have a 25% chance of precipisatan.
pieter42
Don't think it's possible - not all required elements are present in bread and wine.
Ibreakiemytoie
42
SpookystuffMcgruff
666
eastend666
Undoubtedly the correct answer.
bicpics
I read that as communists...
tiderfish
Now Jesus must be know as a unit of measure!
dEngineer
42?
MrPredator
Well, depending upon how much Jesus weighed and comparing that to the consumption of said item, hrmm, maybe 777.
overcookedchickennugget
Religion classes should be illegal below 15 yrs old.
CrimeBrulee
https://imgur.com/YvCfMsn not sure this is ad is trying to imply.....
TeaAndEh
well, how much did Jesus weigh?
IllBeDamnedifIGotoHell
A lot less after 40 days in the desert
intaglioguy
The priest always reserved the host that was His anus for that one parishoner they really didn't like.
PureLoveMachine
I just did the math, assuming Jesus was 5'2" and 120lb it would take about 63 communions to drink his blood, and 72533 for his flesh.
imyourrealdad
Cults are fun.
murderhobbit
Real question
SciFiSpock
42
eastend666
All I thought about in those days was how many minutes before I can get out of this torture.
ASOIAFgymcoach
Or when is the last possible moment I can eat so that I have fasted for one hour before getting my Jesus crackers
krissypoojackets
It’s not a bad question. Valid as the Bible anyhow.
DrTacticalKeyboard
4edgy8me
LatteGrande
Ow the edge.
HairyPicklePuller
Are we talking mass of nutritional value?
rhinodsgn187
Does it fit into my macros?
maxxssodance
I'd say calories? After a bit of googling, one wafer is one calorie, and the average human adult male seems to be about 110,000 calories....
Voidhawk42
So if you went to church once a week, thats... more than 2100 years. If you went once a day, it would be more than 300 years.
nunyabidness99
My question is at any giving point, which piece of Jesus am I consuming?
RetConMan
"Huh... this one looks like dried apple"
Timmy79
It's probably like chicken nuggets or haggis; it's a homogenous (homojesus?) mixture
shyrgb
+1 for homojesus
Whatwhatsomethingbutt
The Eucharistic miracles that have been scientifically tested imply it's heart tissue and AB blood type.
StillNotYouTube
wat
Whatwhatsomethingbutt
In a few rare instances the Eucharist (consecrated host) has bled or turned to flesh. In the interest of sussing out impostors or affirming
Whatwhatsomethingbutt
the miraculous nature of the event, local bishops often allow scientific inquiry. Most tests, even blind tests, have revealed 2/3
Whatwhatsomethingbutt
the flesh is human cardiac muscle and blood is type AB. There's no Catholic cannon requiring belief in these miracles or stating what 3/4
HereticsAllOfYou
One. This has actually been discussed by theologians.
michaJokeClicker
Shuuuurrre
TheDancingPenguin
fake theolia isn't a place
CyanideBreathMint
Theologians, they don't know nothing 'bout my soul...
HereticsAllOfYou
They know you'll die someday.
MundaneFinality
Wow. So i know it transubstantiates into human flesh inside the mouth, but I didnt realize that it was as dense as an entire human man.
sophrosyte
Sssource?
StillNotYouTube
No offense intended, but it's always amazed me that a group of fairly intelligent people could seriously discuss stuff like this.
HereticsAllOfYou
In 2000 years it's not like they wouldn't find the time.
InTheDistanceAPlaintiveEnglishHorn
I've read theological discussion on whether the poo inside your bowels resurrect with you or not.
emkev
Username checks out?
downofathistle
Yeah, transubstantiation means that as soon as you take a little crumb or drop in your mouth you've had full Jesus. Full Jesus in your mouth
nosoupforoldmen
This is more disturbing than I thought it would be
downofathistle
And also therefore full God and full Holy spirit #trinity
roads88mph
"A one, a too-hoo, a three". *crunch* "three".
justvenomcake
How many bites does it take to get to the center of a messiah?
roads88mph
"I've never made it without crucifying, ask John the Baptist"
frogsnot
Why isn't this top comment?
IronGravyBoat
Cause it was posted as a reply. But could definitely be top comment next time.
Kvothefefe
Next time? You really think someone would do that? Just go on imgur and repost?
Andalite
No fucking way
RedClaws23
"I am the way" -That guy you're eating
murderhobbit
Way
LMcC72
Yahweh
Macewindow54
Get. Out.
MrSnowy
LeifTheUnlucky
That was fuckin' clever.
temujin9
ZebraCockSandwich
you made me snort.
dontmindthescreaming
BabiesAreGreatMedRare
6 years this comment has been waiting for me.
Cindicate674
IllBeDamnedifIGotoHell
Yup. Even one crumb or a tiny drop of the wine/blood.
WalrusDongle
But aren't different breads/crackers given out different sizes? Don't they give out gluten free options? How do they measure it?
WorkerLurker
Trans substantiation is like a religious alchemy, and the communion the catalyst, size doesn’t matter as long as it’s consumed.
Thalarctos
There we have it folks. Size doesn't matter.
Whatwhatsomethingbutt
They're different sizes because there isn't one central bakery making them all. No standard size. Catholics teaching holds gluten free is 1/
Whatwhatsomethingbutt
illicit. However, those with intolerance can receive the wine/blood only or there are hosts with gluten supported by agencies who measure 2/
flashtrigger
Religion. It needs not an answer that makes sense
Jusmar
Just rub a lil Faith™ on there