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The Dhole
The Dhole is a species of canid native to South and Southeast Asia. The dhole is a highly social animal, living in large clans which occasionally split up into small packs to hunt. It primarily preys on medium-sized ungulates, which it hunts by tiring them out in long chases, and kills by disemboweling them. Though fearful of humans, dhole packs are bold enough to attack large and dangerous animals such as wild boar, water buffalo, and even tigers.
The Babirusa
Babirusa, meaning "Hog-deer", are members of the pig family found in Wallacea, or specifically the Indonesian islands of Sulawesi, Togian, Sula and Buru. If a babirusa does not grind its tusks (achievable through regular activity), they will eventually keep growing so as to penetrate the animal's own skull.
Pink Fairy Armadillo
The pink fairy armadillo is approximately 3.5-4.5 inches long, excluding the tail, and is pale rose or pink in color. It has the ability to bury itself completely in a matter of seconds if frightened. It is a nocturnal animal and it burrows small holes near ant colonies in dry soil, and feeds mainly on ants and ant larvae near its burrow. It uses large front claws to agitate the sand, allowing it to almost swim through the ground like it is water. It is torpedo-shaped, and has a shielded head and back.
The Fossa
The fossa is a cat-like, carnivorous mammal that is endemic to Madagascar. The fossa is the largest mammalian carnivore on the island of Madagascar and has been compared to a small cougar. It has semi-retractable claws and flexible ankles that allow it to climb up and down trees head-first, and also support jumping from tree to tree.
The Gerenuk
Weekly Challenge (29/05/13) What is this animal up to?
The gerenuk, also known as the Waller's gazelle, is a long-necked species of antelope found in dry thorn bush scrub and desert in Eastern Africa. The word gerenuk comes from the Somali language, meaning "giraffe-necked". Gerenuks have a relatively small head for their body, but their eyes and ears are proportionately large. Gerenuks seldom graze but browse on prickly bushes and trees, such as acacias. They can reach higher branches and twigs than other gazelles and antelope by standing erect on their rear legs and stretching their elongated necks.
Naked Mole Rat
This creature has a lot of characteristics that make it very important to human beings. For one it is resistant to cancer. They also live up to 28 years, which is unheard of in mammals of its size. It seemingly does not age much in those 28 years either. It remains “young, healthy and fully fertile for almost all its days, which for an elderly animal is equivalent to an 80-year-old woman having the biological make-up of someone 50 years younger.” The naked mole rat is used in both cancer research and the study of aging. Not only making it a bizarre creature, but an incredibly important creature as well.
Irrawaddy Dolphin
Irrawaddy dolphins are too cute!
The Irrawaddy dolphin is a species of oceanic dolphin found near sea coasts and in estuaries and rivers in parts of the Bay of Bengal and Southeast Asia. Genetically, the Irrawaddy dolphin is closely related to the killer whale.
Markhor
Markhor [xpost /r/interestingasfuck]
The markhor is a large species of wild goat that is found in northeastern Afghanistan and Pakistan. The species is classed by the IUCN as Endangered, as there are fewer than 2,500 mature individuals. The markhor is the national animal of Pakistan. While chewing the cud, a foam-like substance comes out of its mouth which drops on the ground and dries. This foam-like substance is sought after by the local people, who believe it is useful in extracting snake poison from snake bitten wounds.
Yeti Crab
Also known as the Kiwaidae, this crab is a type of marine decapod living at deep-sea hydrothermal vents and cold seeps. The animals are commonly referred to as "yeti crabs" because of their claws and legs, which are white and appear to be furry like the mythical yeti
Snub-Nosed Monkey
Snub-nosed monkeys live in various parts of Asia and get their name from the short stump of a nose on their round face. Snub-nosed monkeys inhabit mountain forests, in the winter moving into deeply secluded regions. They spend the majority of their life in the trees and live together in very large groups of up to 600 members. They have a large vocal repertoire, calling sometimes solo while at other times together in choir-like fashion.
The Maned Wolf
The Maned Wolf is the largest canid in South America, resembling a large fox with reddish fur. This mammal is found in open and semi-open habitats, especially grasslands with scattered bushes and trees throughout South America. The maned wolf is the tallest of the wild canids and it's long legs are most likely an adaptation to the tall grasslands of its native habitat.
Southern Right Whale Dolphin
The southern right whale dolphin is a small and slender species of mammal found in cool waters of the southern hemisphere. They are fast active swimmers and have no visible teeth and no dorsal fin. They are very graceful and often move by leaping out of the water continuously
Southern Red Muntjac
Found in south Asia, it has soft, short, brownish or greyish hair and is omnivorous, feeding on grass, fruits, shoots, seeds, birds' eggs as well as small animals. It sometimes even displays scavenging behavior, feeding on carrion. It gives calls similar to barking, usually upon sensing a predator. Males are extremely territorial and—despite their diminutive size—can be quite fierce. They will fight each other for territory using their antlers or their tusk-like upper canine teeth, and can even defend themselves against certain predators such as dogs.
Cyphonia Clavata
It is a species of treehopper called Cyphonia Clavata that literally has an ant growing out of its head. Well not literally, the ant-like thing on its head is an appendage that hides the treehopper’s actual body from predators.
Sunda Colugo
Also known as The Sunda flying lemur, it is not actually a lemur and does not fly. Instead, it glides as it leaps among trees. It is strictly arboreal, is active at night, and feeds on soft plant parts such as young leaves, shoots, flowers, and fruits. The Sunda Coluga can be found throughout Southeast Asia in Indonesia, Thailand, Malaysia, and Singapore
Tufted Deer
The Tufted Deer is a small species of deer characterized by the prominent tuft of black hair on its forehead. It is a close relative of the muntjac, living somewhat further north over a wide area of central China. It is a timid animal, mainly solitary or found in pairs and prefers places with good cover, where it is well camouflaged.
Lamprey
For those of you who think a Northern Feast would be awesome, this is the key ingredient of Lamprey Pie. You may now flee White Harbor in terror.
Lampreys are a type of jawless fish that live mostly in coastal and fresh waters whose adults are characterized by a toothed, funnel-like sucking mouth. They attach themselves to fish and suck their blood. Lampreys have been around for nearly 300 millions years and their body structure has remained relatively unchanged.
Raccoon Dog
Racoon Dog - Where have you been all my life?
The Raccoon Dog, or Tanuki, is a canid indigenous to East Asia. The raccoon dog is named for its resemblance to the raccoon, to which it is not closely related. They are very good climbers and regularly climb trees.
Patagonian Mara
The Patagonian Mara is a relatively large rodent found in parts of Argentina. This herbivorous, somewhat rabbit-like animal has distinctive long ears and long limbs and its hind limbs are longer and more muscular than its forelimbs.
The Amazonian Royal Flycatcher
The Amazonian Royal Flycatcher is found in forests and woodlands throughout most of the Amazon basin. They are about 6 1/2 inches in length and like to dart out from branches to catch flying insects or pluck them from leaves. They build very large nests (sometimes up to 6 feet long) on a branches near water. The nest hangs over the water which makes it hard for predators to reach.
Zebra Duiker
The zebra duiker is a small antelope found in Ivory Coast and other parts of Africa. They have gold or red-brown coats with distinctive zebra-like stripes (hence the name) Their prong-like horns are about 4.5 cm long in males, and half that in females. They live in lowland rainforests and mostly eat leaves and fruit.
Star-Nosed Mole
The star-nosed mole is a small mole found in wet low areas of eastern Canada and the northeastern United States. It is easily identified by the 11 pairs of pink fleshy appendages ringing its snout, which is used as a touch organ with more than 25,000 minute sensory receptors, known as Eimer's organs, with which this hamster-sized mole feels its way around.
HatsAreEssential
"The Tufted Deer is a small species of deer characterized by the prominent tuft of black hair on its forehead." Oh, and fucking SABRE TEETH.
Derovan
I see some similarities between the "Snub-Nosed Monkey" and Michael Jackson.
LacieThiede75
And the naked mole rat.
DanielStores
VOLDEMONKEY
queryable
That toothed deer looks like a teenage goth trying to look badass by wearing vampire fangs. "This is not a phase mom, it's who I am!"
CaptainOsom
The Markhor is magestic.
TheLemonEquation
Reminds me of Tim the Enchanter
FirstWorldAnarchist
Pretty sure I killed all of the Markhor in Skyrim.
peacockfuta
wtf Racoon dog?! wtf EVERYTHING! :OOOO
IPostIDieIPostAGAIN
I for one look forward to this new generation of Pokemon.
youaregoingtohavesomenewclothes
HARCORE MARKHOR
ObscureStarWarsReference
PARKOUR
IAmJacksRagingBileDuct
TIL the world is full of hidden magical fairy tale creatures.
FreakyBobo
I knew Markhor's existed because I ate one in Metal Gear Solid 3..
ttownep
Same here.
RelativeVelocity
Dick! I signed on just to comment about that! Oh well, I'll just assign you an upvote and be on my way
ovenovenoven
Really? Not a single comment about how damn FABULOUS the Amazonian royal flycatcher is?
mymomsaregay
Beat me to the punch.
imguriananimaldoc
Lamprays look like the aliens off of "Dreamcatcher"...
Thatsamalamutenotahusky
I thought the same thing... I Duddits!
NeverSpeakOfThis
markhor: goat equivalent of a wizard
DoesAnybodyHereRememberVeraLynn
I'm pretty sure one of them is actually Merlin in disguise.
youwantrelevancewellillgiveyourelevancy
Nice, cool, wow, Fuck! Lamprey!
SherryJeter
Watched Jeremy Wade go after those the other night..Ummm not no but hell know would I willingly go after that!!!!!!!
bacetto
these need to be on zoo tycoon
steveofthejungle
YESYESYESYESYES
yoxhosam
I LOVE ZOO TYCOON!
MrsMistoffelees
Half of them are.
evvvvva
That's what I was thinking reading this
ShadyJ9000
TIL an Otter + Cougar = Fossa. And Fuck Lampreys
cocoboogs
Lampreys are the devil
fgsdfs
no, i refuse
ShadyJ9000
Search your feelings BanMace, for you know it to be true.
UncleLarryJr
The Tanuki, as in Tanuki Suit from Super Mario 3! Well, I'll be going now. Life no longer has purpose.
ObscureStarWarsReference
http://www.mariowiki.com/Tanooki_Suit
stimelstomo
I feel as though all my years I've been awaiting this elucidation, and I didn't even know it, but now that I do, I feel complete somehow
thatwilldopig
Lightbulb! I never did know what that suit was, but I loved it! Thank you for connecting the dots!
BitchImCanadian
The Fossa looks like a cougar just one day decided "You know, I think I'm gonna fuck an otter today." and then a baby fossa happened.
letthemeatart
If I remember correctly, it's essentially a giant weasel.
momomeow
I WANT ONE.
letthemeatart
Nope. Mongoose. It's like a big-ass mongoose.
girrocks001
Irrawaddy Dolphin aka Derpy whale
yoyowowo
The Irrawaddy dolphin is probably the weirdest and cutest thing ever. Look at that stupid little smile. Like the dolphins retarded cousin.
CabooseTheVehicleDestroyer
Derphin.
IntracolonicEXPLOSION
Ermergerd Derphin
girrocks001
Ermagerd a Derphin
IamTheCheeseIamTheBestCharacterOnThisShow
Learning from the Killer whale/Sea-panda marketing mistake, this should be called "Sea-koala"
LonLonRanchDressing
He can swim faster than potato
WhoLovesOrangeSodaKelLovesOrangeSoda
There is a whole lot of nope going on with that Lamprey!
momomeow
I involuntarily screamed. ;____________;
mehrlenaga
Literally my worst nightmare.
mrowww
no kidding, not like i ever wanted to go swimming again D:
Aaaargh
I was reading that Led Zeppelin-style: I'm gonna give you every inch of my nope. A whole lotta nope. A whole lotta nope.
SpinosaurusSex
recognized by the tuft? THE TUFT?! and not by the frikkin large saber teeth sticking out of its mouth?!
Enara
Lots of dear have tusks.
Tashchick
That was my thought exactly!!
vikkie
Right?! I thought it was just eating something, but nope...fangs.
Pleebius
What does a herbivore need teeth like that for?
SpinosaurusSex
Revenge
ReneeSheSings
lol'ed
screamingfreakshow
When i saw it, I was like "holy shit, its a saber toothed deer!"
DrMichaelMcQueeferton
Thank You
cocainecrisps
Just what I was thinking Ma Brotha' !
JusticeofToren
It's a vampiric deer! MENTION ITS FANGS
MoarWaffles
just like bunicula, the vampiric bunny
EsperanzaGaia
YES
MoarWaffles
Someone else who gets my childhood:)
SpinosaurusSex
Ram Stoker's Deercula
Imawarlock
yeah. what the hell?
jeangaijin
This will be the totem animal of the coming zombie apocalypse.
SpinosaurusSex
Revenge of the herbivores - when food bites back
CallmeFluffy
TOTALY agree!
MyBanjoStringFeaturesInTheDeliverance
I want a raccoon dog. I want a raccoon dog. For the love of god, I want one, now.
AsinusAdLyram
Me too, and a pink fairy armadillo too.
MyBanjoStringFeaturesInTheDeliverance
Oh yeah. Them two. I want most of them.
baskytkase
me too, man, me too. think of all the memes.
TheGayPenguin
Tanuki are caricatured with giant balls in a lot of Japanese/Chinese artwork.
AccioUpvotes
I live in korea and theyre everywhere...i love them
MyBanjoStringFeaturesInTheDeliverance
Can I come stay with you?
oddballctf2
Another thing about tanuki is that they have big cahones
theboyskeeper
http://www.mattclara.com/misc/movies/pompoko/images/vlcsnap-56353.jpg
pandaslikebamboo
How about a grey cairnterrier? Ours was once mistaken for one and another time a neighbour mistook a raccoon dog for our dog.
pikamew
Would you name it Hachi?
MyBanjoStringFeaturesInTheDeliverance
This reference, I do not get it.
pikamew
OMG I got a message! Sorry. Where was I? Oh, Inuyasha reference.
Sheprador
Just go and steal one from a Chinese fur farm. They're raised and then skinned alive over there.
MyBanjoStringFeaturesInTheDeliverance
Right, you, me, and anyone else, let's go over there and give those chinese fur farmers a bloody good telling off.
AerieGirl
I did a whole public relations report on them. It's sad how they are treated, then people buy clothing containing their fur and don't care.
Sheprador
It's heartbreaking.
DuneMafia
I really wanted one after I saw Pom-Poko.
cookiesaregood
Please dont get one. They brought some to Europe, they eat our birds and their eggs. They dont belong here.
dactyif
I think they have a smaller footprint than the common cat though, they're the ones destroying entire eco systems.
MyBanjoStringFeaturesInTheDeliverance
Fuck the birds. Fuck the eggs. I want a raccoon dog.
ohreally7756
I spy Michael Jackson
QueenPutrescine
I saw that too
JaimeLannistersPenis
Literally thought the same thing when I saw it, lol.
PlutoStillMatters
same here
MiZfUnKy45
I had the exact same thought! Glad i'm not the only one lol
haddermeatmah
I was hoping that someone else thought the same thought
nuclearpotatoDK
TIL Michael Jackson was a Snub-Nosed Monkey
INeedAboutThreeFiddy
That's my typical Imgur experience. Think of a witty comment, find someone else posted it 6 hours ago.
JLynnNerd
I was 11 hours late if that makes you feel any better.
freshlycleanedhands
Now both my witty comments were taken... :)
taraxgoesxboom
I'm glad I'm not alone in my horrible thoughts.
ammberr
I am so glad I was not the only one...
Eruanne
First thought when I saw it, "Can't wait to see how they compared to MJ in the comments."
AwkwardBiologyIsPORNNOISES
Did anyone else read the first animal as "d-hole"?
Neominister
Why? Was that not the right way to say it?
ChrisKolohe
Oh thank god I wasn't the only one.
Thejollyro
PREPARE YOUR DIDDY HOLE! for its walk around the competition ring.
dogerock
The D is silent...
VEpsilon
This guy! This guy is going places.
dogerock
My comment made over +50 upvotes
CanadiansApologizeForEverythingButMapleSyrup
Did anybody else see a Michael Jackson resemblance with the snub-nosed monkey?
AwkwardBiologyIsPORNNOISES
YEPP. Glad someone else saw that, too.
ivone
prepare your d-hole!
AwkwardBiologyIsPORNNOISES
That's EXACTLY what I was thinking.
enturtle
yes!
turbulentlizard
I'll give you the D-hole, if you know what I mean.
AwkwardBiologyIsPORNNOISES
;D
UDBV
That is how I pronounced it at first, I eventually settled on Dick-hole
BigBearDoinThaangz
The internet has ruined you
AwkwardBiologyIsPORNNOISES
I like it.
VayaConQueso
Yeah, but I didn't want to point it out and be a d-bag.
AwkwardBiologyIsPORNNOISES
....
littledalek
I skipped everything and went to the comments looking for this so I could say yes. Now, back up to the top.
StevenFarmer
Yup
thereisnousernameavailable
I read is as "dole".
dubiant
Is there any other way?
ChunLiRoyJenkins
Yay! People just like me are on here! D-hole is the only reason I scrolled through this post.
timberrrrrrr
That is NOT the Naked Mole Rat I remember from Kim Possible
FreakyBobo
Nope, it's the fucking Mole rat from Fallout!!!
dab9
rufus
SherryJeter
Yeah I'm with ya. Rufus was a lot easier to look at!
shotbyaphysicits
Rufus was much cuter.
SherryJeter
Yeah Rufus was a lot easier to look at!
KAMAchameleon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6scHgACSD0
HereticsAllOfYou
Voiced by Will Friedle, AKA Eric Matthews AKA Playswith Squirrels.
SmittyShmee
TIL where AreaNet got the idea for the Dredge from: http://images.playgw2.com/www/images/guide/gw2minipets/33.jpg
Mawkishly
Naked mole rates are also the only mammal hive creature. The females are workers and one queen is the only source of offspring. She 1/
Mawkishly
enforces this by harassing the other females to a point that they are too stressed to mate.
timberrrrrrr
Fascinating "Only one female (the queen) and one to three males reproduce, while the rest of the members of the colony function as workers"
timberrrrrrr
Fascinating "Only one female (the queen) and one to three males reproduce, while the rest of the members of the colony function as workers"
EarendilTheBlessed
that thing just ruined my childhood.
ilovezombies
it looks like a scrotum with teeth.
lotny
it's Jimmy Carr's scrotum
lotny
are there really that many people that got that QI reference? I wish I could provide you with a link to the clip, it was from QI s08e04
TingleIsHereToCollectYourLifeSavings
*Googles Jimmy Carr* *chuckles*
OutdoorHuman
What is that? That freaky thing??
aphistas
Yes, that's right, it's the naked mole rat.
awkwardturtlepoop
yes that's right, it's a naked mole rat!
ijuststoleaponchofromawoodenindian
come one y'all, let the girlies sing!
awkwardturtlepoop
listen to the naked mole rap!
ThePastmaster
What is that? That freaky thing?
TonyThaSwagFag
THE FOSSA!!! THE FOSSA ARE COMING!!!!!
Biofreak
Ha! my thoughts exactly when I saw the picture
Schnecken
I guess they better move it, move it
nixanadoo
OOOOOH HOO HOO HOO SAY IT AGAIN!
Euclid11010
So does that mean there's mo-fassa??!!!
thefatcatlikesnaps
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
woozle
NOW I get it. :facepalm:
iamireland
Yeah, it's not spelled like you'd think.
mazing3
Yep, i know the fossa as soon as i saw it
Abiellie
Damn you good sir. The greatest of posts.
AnythingForSelenas
it's a cookbook! IT'S A COOKBOOK!
cricketsandcicadas92
I just spit out my drink. That is the first thing I thought of! You made my day (:
MargaretThatcher
"What if Mr. Alex is even worse than the Foosa? I'm telling you that dude just gives me the heebiedabajeebies."
twoshady
"anyone else have the heebeedajeebeedies? no... so shut up"
TayMay28
*ARE ATTACKING!!
noobert
Could name one MU-Fossa!
ohsnapherehavesomeofmykitkat
I thought of that. i thought of that. me.
justpassingthrough95
Damn that was going to be my comment
justpassingthrough95
katieoh
as i was scrolling down i was praying that the top comment would be a madagascar reference
Iunderstoodthatreference
The Fossa. They're always annoying us by trespassing, interrupting our parties, and ripping our limbs off-
sixmonthsofwinter
read that in his voice...
ShiftingPattern
You SAID it was a party...
dumdumdeeday
CALM DOWN! They're not attacking this VERY instant!
trustmeimascientist
I love you, Imgur. I lived in shame and watched the Penguins of Madagascar and the Fairly Oddparents in secret. Now, I feel accepted.
emidashogun
Oh, you clever Imgurian, beat me to it! LOL
ShiftingPattern
Not yet, I'm not. Do that thing with your pinky.
Hownowcow
Mo Fossa?
Vendetti
http://images.wikia.com/dreamworks/images/e/eb/Foosa.jpg
cufa
I knew the fossa before Madagascar, I was also bothered by the fact that the made them look like cats, when thy are more related to weasels.
iamireland
They still look like cats.
GredAndForge
What a hipster.
ShiftingPattern
I've been using the Fossa as my moniker for about 12 years. Want to go drink some PBR and listen to bands that don't exist yet?
cufa
I now realize how hipster my comment sounds, thank you.
M4j3st1c
The whoosa?!
ShiftingPattern
The meesa!
perlcat
If I had a Fossa, I'd name it Bob, and ask it about 'All that Jazz"
HatsAreEssential
We definitely knew that the Fossa existed... lol
overwerk
I knew over 3/4 of these animals! Yay! :D
ShiftingPattern
Of course you do. I post here all the time.
DasDovian
Ahh! It's the FOSSA!!
whatthefrancium
And the naked mole rat.
GracieBalloon
Fossa ooh! Fossa ahhh!
DasDovian
Fossa!
ShiftingPattern
Ooh! Ahhh!
MmmTastyBacon
Fossa hungry, Fossa eat.
ShiftingPattern
Just ate lunch actually. Couldn't eat another bite.
MmmTastyBacon
Just one tiny bite? It is Wafer thin.
Leftytheperpetuallyperplexed
If I ever owned one, I'd name it Mu.
iamireland
BOOO
maybebutsurely
That took me way too long to figure out *shame
MargaretThatcher
u sir are one witty human being... HIGH FIVE!
Leftytheperpetuallyperplexed
*HIGH FIVE*
noah12345678987654321
Here's a bonus creature /a/Z0UhW
youbetternotbereadingthis
terrifying, yet adorable.
ttarawa
zaboomafoo taught me about the aye-aye!
Jamblesquack
Leap... Leap... Leap...
IHateBeingBipolarItsAwesome
I'm tickled that someone named "noah" posted awesome animal pics.
SherMattLockSmith
Gollum?
mymomsaregay
He's like "I've seen some shit"
INamedMyCatRickyAfterASkidRowSong
It's six thirty in the morning.... Please no.
thereisnousernameavailable
Where is its skin?
jval
Da fuuuuuuq?
steveofthejungle
It's Maurice!!
techniza
Gotto love Madagaskar
inviolentlane
Fuck
EatMyShag
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHs5POy8-8Y
McKatia
YES! I love True Facts!
fdisk
Hey! I remember that one from Flight of The Navigator!
Sheprador
BEST. MOVIE. EVER.
Cisownik
Gah!
crazykittylady
YES I love aye-ayes!
ComputerSaysNo
That shit cray
QueenPutrescine
official mascot of LNI
WhereDidYouGetYourSuitTheToiletStoreAndXmusJaxonFlaxonWaxon
I bet you that the person holding that animal is giving him the same look
Tolkienfan57
All but the Lamprey can exist. Lampreys can die a slow painful death and cease to exist in this world.
tanadarko
Aww... you made me feel bad for the Lamprey.
rantomi
*goa'uld
LadyMorrigan
Agreed. Those things are terrifying.
Futhington
But then how would we in England make the traditional lamprey pies?
DasDovian
I saw one latch onto my bio teachers arm once. This badass started a lesson on the lampray while killing the damn thing & pulling it off.
smizily
Fun fact! It's not uncommon to find Lamprey meat in fish sticks.
Tsurusennin
Lampreys are considered a delicacy here in Finland.
ThatOneSkinnyFatGuy
fast*
Tolkienfan57
If they all just died at the same time, it can be slow. Slow being around 2-3 minutes.
ThatOneSkinnyFatGuy
They don't desereve 2-3 minutes
Tolkienfan57
I want to watch them suffer...
ThatOneSkinnyFatGuy
I want them erased form my memory... and existence
championoftheworld
This sounds personal.
PhauxTheFox
Every year at the local Fair the DNR(I think) has a few of them alive in a tank so people will know what they are and kill them if on a fish
HighFivesAlot
Here here!
GingerTheBeard
sorry, all things have place and job in the world.
Boniface
Those who watch "The Borgias" recently saw Lampreys in action.
Futhington
But then how would we in England make the traditional lamprey pies?
HalfwayToRelevance
I think there was a lamprey in Prometheus.
YouThinkThisIsAFuckingGame
that, my friend, was the disembodied tentacle of one of the aliens
ShatnersBassoon
... Was it though?
ellipsisman
How about a quick death, please.
haddermeatmah
insanity wolf's fleshlight
FisterMantastic
I laughed. Have an upvote.
Prae7oriaN
Now when they mention Lamprey Pies in Game of Thrones, you'll have a much more vivid mental image.
Eneicia2012
Ew. Just...ew.
pranqster
I was about to ask how we would make lamprey pie if lampreys didn't exist anymore.
Housemaster
It's like the evolutionary beginings of the Headcrabs... scary...
ThaiMaiShu
the star nosed mole is pretty awful too
baskytkase
uh, yeah that guy and the yeti crab can gtfo.
dovah
I for one welcome our new Lamprey overlords
sullyvanize
New? they are the oldest know fish
iamnumber69
I see what you're trying to do here.
BluLuna
Found the solution thanks to Mike Rowe! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqoT8tcZq6k
moonsugarsnortingKhajiit
Oh God that is horrifying.. These foul abominations are from the pits of hell.
bteg801
The Lamprey was the only one I knew because of River Monsters. But yes. Kill them all.
howmanydoscoulddindudoifdindudindonuffin
They're delicious tho.
canyoupaintwithallthecolorsofthefucksIdontgive
So I've heard.
AfflictedOtter
How does one prepare a lamprey?! What do they even taste like? Escargot?
howmanydoscoulddindudoifdindudindonuffin
Prepare it like any fish - grill, smoke, marinate. Taste hard to describe, delicate and even sweet when marinated.
AfflictedOtter
Hmm...I'll have to look into that...
ThatOneSkinnyFatGuy
NO! wtf
howmanydoscoulddindudoifdindudindonuffin
Ever tried one?
MetalMirdo
no, how do you eat it? where at?
howmanydoscoulddindudoifdindudindonuffin
You eat it like any other fish. No idea where and if they sell it where you live. Google it. I can buy them from a fish market or a shop.
adamran
Well, basically a lamprey don't have parts. But if I had to call it anything, uh, I would say it's his knee.
innernette0
Oh that was a lamprey. I just thought it was penis being impaled by a spike.
HalpGotPenisStuckInFan
I want a Lamprey, or 10. You know, to keep my neighbors in check...
Alli187
A bunch of my friends study them. They're invasive in the Great Lakes but they're pretty cool.
yules
they mess up our fishes, not cool.
duhduhduhdiabeetus
never swimming in Lake Michigan EVER AGAIN.
mt77932
With all the pollution that gets dumped into it, I wouldn't go near it anyway.
emmalee60
Lake Superior too? Not around like, Park point please? I want to use that beach again before I die.
Alli187
They're definitely in all Great Lakes...not sure on specific areas though. They stay mainly in streams/rivers that feed the lakes I think.
GingerTheBeard
the Adirondacks is lousy with em, so you know a specific area lol
iamireland
http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20091024212920/x-files/images/7/7e/Flukeman_in_pipe.jpg
Magicturkey
There is also a subspecie of the Lamprey that is smaller and lives in fishes' gills, btw.
owlparliament95
worst. blowjob. ever.
dtdelah
these fuckers look like the fuckin alien from the Stephen King movie: Dreamcatcher!!!
blueberriesandraspberries
Worst. Dildo. Ever.
pennylane73
upvote or downvote upvote or downvote. ugh...upvote. i guess.
Yongasoo
*worst. fleshlight. ever.
feyrband
Toothed, for his pleasure.
Tolkienfan57
Cards Against Humanity card: Lamprey coming up the toilet and latching onto your taint. Best Card Ever.
owlparliament95
rivals the gassing and Auschwitz combo
illyume
Once played "Before we had _German Dungeon Porn_, there was only _Auschwitz_." - I felt terrible for it, but won the card. <.<;
Bryntastic
idk, "A mother fucking sorcerer" is a pretty good one.
Tolkienfan57
It's more the thought of that actually happening.
ajgriffy
I like the card, "Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog."
iamireland
That one's hard to beat. In the game or otherwise.
nfbassman
"Jerking off into a pool of orphans' tears."
stefvee
These things are in Lake Ontario. Another reason to stay the hell away...
FisterMantastic
Now that I know this, I'll be staying the fuck out of that lake whenever I visit the beach.
onlyinitfortheimgurians
I don't think it's the Lamprey's that should be deterring you from Lake Ontario. It's filthy.
FisterMantastic
Compared to the water here in Hong Kong, Lake Ontario is pristine.
Logicola
Lampreys were very popular as food in the Middle Ages...and occasionally as an execution method.
yules
Lampreys cant even suction on to humans.
ImmortalLoveRodd
Maybe not, but they can still ruin your day.
Logicola
Sorry, I was thinking of a story about Augustus Caesar threatening someone with lampreys, but he wasn't serious; my mistake!
yules
It's all right have a nice day.
Logicola
You too good sir/madame.