Lassannn
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Jizz buckets who print receipts longer than Rapunzel's hair for single-item purchases.
Every common stale who ever stirred coffee and then put the fucking spoon back in the Goddamn sugar.
The ass-jacking cockthistles who put containers back in the fridge with just a swallow left.
The dickless sunjenbitches who don't seem to understand numerical order.
This cockjuggling thundercunt.
BIG, STOOPID, MUSCLEHEADED MORONS who don't re-rack the fucking weights.
Fuckmuppet college professors who have no idea there's such a thing as email.
The shitferret who figures you should use scissors in order to use your scissors.
Every hopeless, uninformed knobcheese who ever took their food out of a microwave and didn't clear the time.
The douchehammers ALL OVER PLANET EARTH who try to brighten your day by spraying it with sunshine.
The big, spoon-faced, Etonian spunk rockets who don't mind parking it like this while they wait for the light.
The cross-eyed gloryhole badger who priced these snacks.
Oompa Loompa sink designers.
The brainless, carefree, spackled sacks of cunt mange who toss apostrophes around like candy.
All the massive, fetid ballbags who pay like this.
Karen.
The full retard who installed this motherfucker, and the full retards who had no problem with him installing this motherfucker.
The dickwhistling cuntsprocket who thought it was opposite day when he designed this door.
This slimy, low-lying, lizardy cockwomble with the off-center soul patch.
The scroungy little fucks too lazy to put the toilet paper on the fucking roller.
The dishfaced wankstain who turned this unsuspecting frying pan into a lying pan.
JiffyDealer
GiantAsteroid2021
The gas pump is probably a sales trick. Scissors are a public safety n liability issue. Karen tho. Cunt deserves death.
hitlersgermanshepherd
SimbaDidntKillMufasa
"Cross-eyed gloryhole badger" takes the cake for me
OPmakesOC
@RepostStatistics where you at
Schizophorensic
Trentski
Let it out, @Lassannn!
the12thletter
This is a word-by-word repost, down to the "inventive" swears. Fuck you, Lassannn.
queenofthekcs
...To the dickcheesed prickweasel who leaves used paper towels on the counter mere inches from the trash can...
Goronhead
Whenever I get someone like #15, I make them sit there and wait while I unfold each bill one by one and count them individually.
JUmpmAN1
People are garbage, learn this early and it will save you from being surprised when shit like this inevitably happens
BYERE
The way to deal with #11 is just drive straight into the side of their car. They'll stop doing it from that point on.
Lassannn
I believe they would actually get the ticket for blocking the intersection.
SmashMyPumpkin
#22 - Lassann. Fuck you!
SpaceMarineWithAnUrgeToPurge
Oh look @Lassannn made another repost and this time the shit filled donkey cunt reposted the same fucking insults. color me surprised.
AnanasHoi
This.
Captoftheskies
Love the ingenuity of your photo tag lines!!! May you prosper!! Thank you for the laughs!!
ThatOneGuyOP
Cashier's have no control over the length of the receipts. Trust me we want you out of the store as fast as possible as well :)
[deleted]
[deleted]
cogs
Most jurisdictions in the US mandate the production of a physical receipt as a consumer protection item. Not up to the merchant.
buttholette
Fix typo! Cashiers!!* OP will unleash his/her wrath!
GrumpyOldManWhatSignedUpToCommentThis
honestly, everyone should be salvaging those for mulch or fireplace starters!
FoxPesdassi
#14: Ye's, all word's that end in S should alway's get apostrophe's. I impres's it on all my student's.
HeiheiForPresident
Die.
FoxPesdassi
*gurgle* *twitch*
PetuniasFromMagrathea
Catclicksalot
Seriously though why do the toilet seats not go full circle?
PetuniasFromMagrathea
Hygiene. If you're putting your delicate area somewhere, they leave a gap so that the previous delicate area isn't rubbing off on you
PHILK1982
Always wondered that actually
Catclicksalot
Public toilets aren't hygienic no matter what. Why would your privates rub against the toilet seat anyway..
PetuniasFromMagrathea
Of course they are not, but some people have different body shapes, as well as different levels of "give a shit" and that is the designer's
PetuniasFromMagrathea
Intent. Source: worked in plumbing supply for years.
Chrispybobispy
Chrispybobispy
And #6 shit flows down hill thats what you missed
MrPompaztic361
That off centered soul patch though!
resinmir
There's a guy from my college who became a scientist for those Bigfoot shows on the history channel. Normal guy but he had to keep 1/2
resinmir
2/2 purple dyed hair and Mohawk because it was in his contract so he would look crazy. Wtf history channel.
trashyperson
Ladies: hovering is not helping. You are the problem.
molphen
fuck that I will hover all day. but I will clean up after myself I'm no savage
Sinnybun
I worked at the office for a department in college and we put the sign on the door for those who don't bother to check their email.
Sassmachine
AKA, almost everyone
AndreKroon
Yeah, doesn't seem like something that should bother you. I certainly wouldn't remember to check my email.
Sinnybun
Plenty of students got upset until I asked if they checked their email, to which the reply would almost always be "no".
GrampaJack
Fuck you Lassannn!!!
Barrett94
For future use
v
FoxGodRecords
KEEN! Thanks!
SpacemannWhiff
ellipsis
ZyklonBDemille
Fucking Karen...
whosagoodboy92
I met Karen once nice lady, must be whom she was named after
RetailCat
Can confirm, there are many, many Karens, and they all fucking suck huge ass titty donkey balls.
boomalaty
From accounting....And her god dammed Starbucks cups.
candidkismet
Dude. Karen.
WoodenSpork
gracejelly
https://media.giphy.com/media/BwuwZOrZ8Ky5i/giphy.gif
DrJeremyStone
Some say she's still fucking to this day....fucking leaving Starbucks trash everywhere.
imhoots
My confession is I sorta like Karen. The way the corners of her eyes crinkle up when she laughs, the way she leaves her shit everywhere...
GrumpyOldManWhatSignedUpToCommentThis
KillerTofu69
Goddamnit, Karen, you fucking dick.
jknight384
Damn it, Karen!
LurkingTrout
I always see this shit at my Wal-Mart, classy place
whosagoodboy92
Wal mart, always a good decision
yomahnn
Karen is the worst!
GrumpyOldManWhatSignedUpToCommentThis
The best ones are the ones with stupidly unique hippie/SoCal names. And all the employees' condescending smirks dealing with them afterwards
wiggadewah
You mean Karen <3
nekodon
I'd fuck Karen
Superchief86
Seriously, Karen. You bitch. You fucking bitch.
LovelyLadyLumps
I see this all the time at Target!
PartyInTheUSSR
YOU AREN'T MY SUPERVISOR!
amjnj
Dane cook: "Every group has a Karen and she is always a bag of douche."
amjnj
And when she's not around, you just look at each other and say, "God, Karen, she's such a douchebag!".
amjnj
Until she walks up, then you're like, "Hey, what's up Kar-? Kar-. What's up Kar-?"
SeverKatie
They know numerical order, they're hoping someone isn't paying attention, goes for the lowest grade and ends up paying for premium.
Matthew0275
Can't that... irreversibly damage an engine?
yomahnn
I can confirm. Family friend owned a gas station. That was his mentality.
lcplspanky
Shits fucked up, you make the most profit off mid grade usually, but the 1 I managed didn't mind losing money in gas to make it inside
goodisunpopular
I fell for it once, didn't notice until I was $20 in.
Aranyszin
Yep. 100% scam, and seeing this is a guarantee that I will not be back to that station.
CaffeineManic
That must really limit your options, since most are like this.
Mrdaihatsu
Really, because I fill up every 2-3 days and see this at about 5% of the time. Maybe the big cities are different.
Aranyszin
Same. And I live in one of the five largest cities in America
Raleigh33
But doesn't it mess with your car when you mix gas types?
graygrif
Here's a big secret, most stations don't have an underground tank dedicated to mid-grade (89). Mid-grade is normally a mixture, 60% of (1/2)
graygrif
87 and 40% of 93. It's mixed at the pump. (2/2)
THEMOXABIDES
I believe only if your engine calls for premium.
Mentok
Newer cars can handle it, but the fuel economy would suffer
carsandpibblesarelife
Octane rating does matter. Lower octane rated gas can cause pre-ignition, not good. Your car(owners manual) will tell you what octane to use
IndefinetelyTired
Typically, no. If u use E85 (mostly ethanol based fuel) without having a FlexFuel type car it can. Performance cars designed to run on 1/2
IndefinetelyTired
High quality fuel usually have a sensor that tells the computer to limit power bc of low quality fuel in the mixture.
trigonman3
First thought: What the hell does "half high-quality" mean?
TyroneNiggams
He Typed "1/2" To Indicate It Was Gonna Take Longer Than 1 Message To Get His Point Across.
moonshadowkati
Only mildly, typically reducing your gas mileage. All modern vehicles can handle non-optimal octanes, it just won't be, well, optimal.
yourbassist
mesach
Actually, if blame the sink manufacturer for placing the mounting holes so far back, look at it, its no where appear as close as most sinks.
wigglypony
My friend doesn't understand what's wrong here?
thatguywiththeafro
His hand is touching the sink basin. No one wants that.
firecatsrt
I blame the company who made the short faucet. Cockbags
samsonguy920
Me, too.
bpetersen
I blame everyone but the short faucet itself
Neednoggle
Pissing on a toilet seat should be punishable by public lashing.
[deleted]
[deleted]
blondetauren
Public Splashing*
Cthulily
In the ladies bathroom, there's usually a stray pubic hair.
moonshadowkati
In any public bathroom, there are usually many stray pubic hairs.
AndreKroon
I wouldn't say that, often it happens whether you want it or not. But rather is should be punishable by lashing if you don't clean up.
repurposedschleem
Public or pubic lashing?
OhLongJohnsonn
DownvotedToOblivionAndDiedInUserSub
Public slashing.
Nightcaste
Yes.
BubsPeps
Lucasbrucas
As a man I can confirm it can be hard to aim, but at least wipe it up.
tehzpoon
I think the offender should have to endure another man pissing on his naked ass and thighs. Do to him what he does to us, but crank it to 11
NZSheeps
Yeah. You're going to get people doing it deliberately....
railgap
Caning. One stroke should do it.
5FingerJeffPunch
My brother-in-law does this at home AND at work. Fucking back spackling jizz licker.
Niddhoger
The offender must be forced to clean up their masterpiece.... with their tongue.
analnipple666
Yeah especially in the women's rest room, like what even is that about??
MagicalLegendaryCookieMonster
It look more like it's the flushing water that have too much pressure and splashed over.
HomelessJesus
I second that, I won't use a public restroom unless I have cleaning supplies nearby I have access too
Kalid19
A lot of the public toilets flush so vigorously it sprays water up onto the seat...its still gross though.
moonshadowkati
There's a separate hell for that.
musicninja985
Usually there is only a few clear droplets in that case. I usually find yellow puddles all over the toilet seat.
GrumpyOldManWhatSignedUpToCommentThis
Least it's not a urinal, so many unflushed half-missed urinals in my road trips... #neveragain
limewtf
I can say, as a woman, I see this 75% of the time in a woman's bathroom and it makes me enraged.
CreatureFromtheBlackLegume
It's actually not what you think! A lot of the time it's the spray from when the last person flushed.
trigonman3
CreatureFromtheBlackLegume
Haha maybe most of the time it's straight up urine, but after seeing toilet water splurt up I give the benefit of the doubt
LionSundress
Not when it is yellow, but I don't know how it ends up towards the back of the seat.
CreatureFromtheBlackLegume
How what ends up towards the back: water or urine?
limewtf
Nah the majority of the time when I see it, it's definitely yellow and obviously not splash back but man I wish you were right.
MagicalLegendaryCookieMonster
Yeah but in that case it's at the back of the seat. I never tried but I'm pretty sure I couldn't manage to pee on the seat like that.
falcon62
It was Karen!!
ProxyPhox
This is due to "hovering" because they think the toilet is dirty so they don't sit...making it dirty so it pushes this perpetual cycle.
MyPasswordIs1234
Scared of the germs? Why don't they put some fucking toilet paper on the seat to cover it?
Gamebuster19901
They fucking do, then they throw the toilet paper all over the floor.
limewtf
Right??? And they NEVER clean up after themselves. Ugh
moonshadowkati
Ugh, yeah. Me, I carry tissues and hand sanitizer in my purse. All seats shall be clean when I sit on them and even cleaner when I leave.
Niddhoger
But.... how!? Did... oh... a precious thundercunt who thinks her taint is too good to touch the seat nor at least wipe it before sitting?
limewtf
Or wipe it after peeing ALL the eff over it? Nope.
FoxGodRecords
#11 is actually illegal. Says so in the handbook. "You can not enter an intersection if traffic is backed up on the other side and you … ==>
molphen
Venus Williams just killed a guy doing that
Duplodocus
Elaborate?
molphen
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/28/sports/video-shows-officer-telling-venus-williams-she-caused-fatal-crash.html
Duplodocus
Poor person.. life snuffed out like a wick
UncleBuckFutter
DON'T BLOCK THE BOX
GoliathSkittles
There's plenty of shit people do on the road that's illegal, somehow the threat of massive injury or death doesn't get through to people.
FoxGodRecords
<== …can not get completely through the intersection. Wait until traffic ahead clears, so you do not block the intersection. ==>
FoxGodRecords
"
FoxGodRecords
https://dmv.ny.gov/about-dmv/chapter-5-intersections-and-turns
Superchief86
[deleted]
[deleted]
TheArkaneFennec
I drive for a living, fucking thank you
FoxGodRecords
And also, screw that guy! That's the best part. I'm going to the grocery and he's trying to get to a wedding, and I make him SIT THERE! YAS!
[deleted]
[deleted]
samsonguy920
It's not just law, it's simple fucking courtesy. Let that dork behind you cry like a baby. There are more than just him who >
samsonguy920
> do appreciate your driving standards.
ILikedTheirOldStuffBetter
How about the shitbags at the grocery store who grab a frozen food item, then change their minds later & just put it on a shelf in the (1/2)
GrumpyOldManWhatSignedUpToCommentThis
even better... Frozen FISH. By the time it's found, usually the whole shelf goes.
ILikedTheirOldStuffBetter
(2/2) bread aisle or wherever. I don't even work at a grocery store & that shit makes me insane.
smirkinghighgardenwhore
I tagged defective items for target o.u.a.t. and customers would leave food perishables in cosmetics and even apparel sections. Frustrating
slyfox001
If I don't want something I move it to another part of my basket and give it to the cashier and tell her I don't want it if I'm in a rush.
Cicilla
Sometimes not even the cashiers take cold items back like they're supposed to.
slyfox001
They don't normally, they can't verify how long it's been un refrigerated it gets claimed out. Thrown. But it's not being gross randomly
samsonguy920
Those cashiers need a day in the stocks for that. Either way, if the customer at least gave it to the cashier, they did their due diligence.
SeniorHedgehog
How do you even come up with this many insults
HomeXX
Its like he watched deadpool and made a post
Manatapit
Karen.
AdditionalPylons
The Brits
EngineerZero
Ask the person who originally posted it years ago
thatgreygentleman
Best one is definitely "Karen"
ValictenRageFist
You loose assed limp dicked fuck circus orchestrating mother fucker. I make insults as a hobby, and keep 'em in a book. God I'm lonely...
Courier87
From the wording used, it's pure bottled up British rage
Fumbledpersonality
I favorited just to use these insults
Plat1num
Probably Scottish.
ionlyregisteredtosavelinks
Cause he's such a funny and edgy person.
shadowex3
Half of these were things scottish twitter called Donald Trump during the campaign.
objectreborn
Must say, "thunder cunt" doesn't sound like an insult
revcleo
tbh I think "Etonian" is used incorrectly, someone from Eton wouldn't drive that sort of car. Even on scholarship.
katanatripsis
I don't know but I'm adding them to my list.
NuggetSandwich
Probably Scottish.
AnythingMuchShorter
What do you think of that, Mr. Pajama-Wearing, Basket-Face, Slipper-Wielding, Clype-Dreep-Bachle, Gether-Uping-Blate-Maw, Bleathering,
AnythingMuchShorter
Gomeril, Jessie, Oaf-Looking, Scooner, Nyaff, Plookie, Shan, Milk-Drinking, Soy-Faced Shilpit, Mim-Moothed, Sniveling, Worm-Eyed,
AnythingMuchShorter
Hotten-Blaugh, Vile-Stoochie, Cally-Breek-Tattie?
CISMaleScumLord
He must be English; we practice on the French.
randelung
A deep, all-consuming hatred for existence and everything in it.
NoForethought
He just scrolls through his DMs
fewe
Op wouldn't know, considering this entire thing is reposted. Which I don't mind but they could at least say originally posted (insert date)
MyFinalForm
OP has been called each of those names across their lifetime
Freakingdoomguy
Well it is @lassannn
FurtiveGlancer
LMGTFY
jimjamthemagnificent
With gusto
EClaire1073
Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V. (This entire post, including the insults, is a repost.)
EmilinRose
If you're gonna call bullshit, post a link to PROVE IT.
iynque
Type "dishfaced wankstain" or any of the other gems into Google. You'll find a million and one places this has already been copy-pasted.
EmilinRose
so link one. its not my responsibility to prove your claim, its yours.
iynque
It's not my claim, and it's not my responsibility to Google things for lazy pedants. Do it yourself if you're so bothered by it. It's easy.
oscillatingdogfan
OH MY GOD thank you. I'm so happy it's now the 30th. I can downvote now.
BobbyBobbston
Lassannn strikes again. Nice repost though. Still. Fuck you, @Lassannn
SquidJesus
Ignoring that part, I've seen big ass charts for making long insults. I don't need them.
LordStarkillerHimself
@Lassannn has a lot of experience dealing with insults. Fuck you, @Lassannn.
SuperCakeSmuggler
Oh shit! That's the guy?! Holy shit! That's the guy!
GamermanRPGKing
And fuck Dante ( I think he deleted his account)
LordStarkillerHimself
Who is Dante? Other than the guy who wrote the Divine Comedy
GamermanRPGKing
Wasn't he the guy who made a site similar to Imgur, would steal fp images and advertise his site?
doomsdayaddams
Why do we hate Lassannn again?
UnknownSquid
Only ever posts reposts, and consistently posts those personal story type posts, from other people, as if it were actually him.
IncognitoCube
Because, reasons. (Fuck you @Lassannn)
doomsdayaddams
Hmph. I'm fully willing to hate him; I'd just like to know why.
LurlineLumpkin
Because Imgur has a lynch mob mentality sometimes and likes to bully people - and don't even know why.
LinguisticLuniel
Check @Lassannn bio
gujuganjagirl
The people downvoting your post don't realize the irony of their actions. I'm probably going down with you. Yo-ho!
yeehawbuckaroo
People hate him because he's the master of reposts. I don't hate him, I mean, what's to hate? He's clever and consistently amusing.
LordStarkillerHimself
I don't hate him but fuck him anyway
Bigdaddyclean
yeah but... Fuck him
amiworthyofbeingagramarnazi
His bio has the reasons as to why we hate him.
ipointoutwhythingsarefunny
TL:DR
SomeFurryTrash
Tldr is made up stories for fake internet points
CanadianFurr
TL;DR...reasons.