seikzio
739099
20498
149
Apr 26, 2015 1:54 PM
seikzio
739099
20498
149
bananabody
#7 i see what you did there... i feel dirty.... but i get it...
ShyWhiteNerdBoy
#5 I laughed way too hard.
theotheleo
Been a while since I breathed air out of my nose that violently
Hoze
Ooo. I like these.
AskingTheRealQuestions
Actually, some antivirus programs take up a ridiculous amount of your CPU, making it slow as fuck.
C3P0hnoyoudidnt
#6 tho
kerr0r
There's a Jaden Smith joke somewhere in the last one.
Talligan
Your girlfriend is calculating speed. She would need time, distance and direction to get velocity.
OriginalNameDoNotSteal
#2 ...just take my upvote
holycrapitsmyles
Why did this Rorschach guy only draw pictures of naked dudes?
sgtgooch
Antivirus one is genius
PajamaStripes
The answer is yes. XD
Niatos
All girlfriends calculate velocity. It's why they complain about you taking things too slow or fast.
Serega81
#7 dammit OP
seasonsgreetings
This could be a meme - retarded shower thoughts.
MorningDewd
Still my favourite: If I drink Chai Tea while doing Tai Chi, do they cancel each other out?
nyctef
They actually complement each other nicely: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_Pxt-a1LOg
MrNames
The lay out of imgur posts is to simular to the images above, I tryed to right click save your comment along with the above ones. +1
BubbleGutandtheHotSnakes
http://i3.ytimg.com/vi/F5ErMolRE8M/hqdefault.jpg
anticlifflemmingheretic
Mitch Hedberg is their totem animal
SnookerSylph
I AM AT WORK ON BREAK AND YOURE TRYING TO MAKE ME SUCK DANNY PHANTOMS DICK? NUH UH NOT THIS TIME
ThoughtlessKrow
You got me fucker.
SnookerSylph
Browsing random I see
ThoughtlessKrow
Uhm no actually I just came here to see you.
gormtheoldthesleepyofdenmark
Why do we have to look for water on other planets? Is the California water crisis that bad? http://www.reddit.com/r/shittyaskscience/top/
CharmingAndSexyGentlemanStarshipCaptain
Well, we need to stack Californians high enough to create a cheap space elevator.
SaucyDisses
My... My brain hurts and my neck is sore from a series of confusion head tilts. Does anyone have some Advil?
SkyKiller63
The computer antiVirus autism one was my favorite xD
NonWellKnownImgurian
That and the glass one for me XD
torhs
If the earth is 70% water, is there a 70% chance i'll fall in water if i trip?
ashipthatshipsshippingships
Obviously
keeblebrox
Yes. This is why there's more rain over forested areas: to keep up with people tripping over exposed roots.
McLarenTim
son of a bitch...
NationalistCanadianMooseWarrior
If you were placed in a random location on the globe every time you tripped, then yes.
Eunoterp
Bobbing for Air Dick....that's good.
Colnelius
Takes me back to my second grade Halloween party.
vartislunknuckers
* Ghost Dick?
planetinline
Is it?
Wextersmachinegunhands
Smoke cures salmon
Arrkhal
There is some actual science to that one. Wood used for smoking meat smolders at a lower temperature than tobacco smoke, so no carcinogens.
Arrkhal
Or at least fewer carcinogens.
lawfulwood
Salmon fuel can't smoke autism beams.
squirrelgirl86
That one actually made me lol a bit.
Wextersmachinegunhands
me too
bojo2015
MyRedLabelMatchesTheDrapes
Beautiful.
cleavergrill
Laughed at that for way longer than I should have
CthulhuBubbles
One of my favorites haha
vonsandwich
Catdog
freecreeperhugs
SupaCabra
Umm... Ok?
yakattak10
Hahaha this great!
ThirdCoastPauly
I wanna have drinks with that guy, maybe watch a hockey game.
ThirdCoastPauly
I read on here that he has a BA in Sports Information, so I think it would be.
bojo2015
Sounds like a good time
Acronymicon
My wife sees different colored eyes in her mirror. Does this confirm women see differently from men?
Macat
Confirms she is actually Jaden Smith.
TheBOULDER
The BOULDER chortled heavily. Take an upvote, son.
Lupine1982
Something redundant about the boulder doing something heavily
DaveyJones69
You must revolve around him
althanan
I tried that one on my dad when I was a kid. Didn't work out so well.
RodgerRodger
http://imgur.com/JLAbEeF i like...
citytownfordshireton
This is lame
TheBlasphemingTomatoGuy
I'm sure @TheBOULDER is disappointed in you.
Amythyst
StormageddonDarkLordOfAllAKAAlfie
#9 yeah, if they want to act like profesionals
CoolGuySweet
I saw an entire team of synchronized swimmers drown the other day. It was tragic, yet beautiful.
itsgottabethehaircotton
thanks dimitri!
8BitArchitect
But not if the first one to drown is the 200,000th person to drown that year.
Lucallia
This needs more points +1
ArturoVera
You did it, you fucking did it
awkdukdelete
Now that is critical thinking
WavePunk
True story. The Bleu Angels flight team was doing a formation loop, everyone following the plane in front of them by the same distance (1/?)
WavePunk
(2/2) In a V shape. The lead plane made an error and crashed. Everyone else crashed with him, followed him straight into the ground.
StormageddonDarkLordOfAllAKAAlfie
LTareyouserious
For the lazy mobile users, the synchronized swimmer one is being answered here.
DoubleStuf
You're doing God's work. Also your user name makes me think military which is another +1
LTareyouserious
Yup. I'll have to change my user name before the year ends though :<
spectremedic
Congrats man! Mine will change next year!
SpikedMeowmix
CAPTgetyourshittogether
captainclutch
Getting promoted I hope?
LTareyouserious
Yup. About that time. I'll have to turn in my Lieutenant Shield
kayakninjas
I laughed way too hard at the kleptomania one.
MonkeyOnATypewriter
"Why do mirrors look like eyeballs way up close" for me
Shadow113
The glass one was my favorite
Nessimon
"Smoking cures salmon" did it for me.
robert054321
I don't get it?
pairofd
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smoked_salmon
robert054321
hahahaha wow i feel dumb thanks
Nessimon
Cured salmon is salmon that has been preserved by e.g. smoking it.
robert054321
Thanks!
seikzio
To those of you still bobbing your head, you're sucking an air dick
Stealthyboy
I knew what I was doing.
Solkanarmy
I didn't need to be a shitty scientist to work that one out, OP
ShunxuHuang
its called an air dick b/c it is as thin as air
iAML8
I know its bullshit... but i still want to do it.
makymak
Badly
BYERE
No I'm not... My boyfriend is standing next to me with his cock out...
iAML8
I know its bullshit... but i still want to do it.
DavidBowiesCodpiece
I knew what was going on when after 2 bobs my technique slipped into the motion. No shame.
Gingefro
http://imgur.com/2yXBZdP
houseofprimetofu
Read this outloud to two people. Results were awesome.
DeathlyHallows415
I fell for it. Couple bobs in I realized.
spazpod
I was laying down,and thought to myself, I need to remember to try that one later. Then I read this. Close call
saDrifter
Air cups my balls, it's the least I could do for it.
Cawley546
This is fantastic.
TurtleHurdle
http://media.giphy.com/media/Z5bMFmpGJkheE/giphy.gif
YoureAWolfBoy
I almost fell for it but then I figured it out. Dignity saved.
sixfoothobbit
I figured out and thought "maybe I'm missing something else" nope...
LumburgOR
Well played u evil genius.
HurryUpIgotNutstoBustButtsTOfuckNDslutsToFuckinUppercut
Jokes on you I'm giving head right now
SilverRiolu294
I realized that pretty quick
ringox
I did that ok, but still, this is by far one of the most funniest posts I've seen here for a log time. Favorited.
ninjagaidensigma
I had to try...
CharmingAndSexyGentlemanStarshipCaptain
OP, we both frequent this subreddit. High five!
shhhnotears
Sucked a real dick 20 minutes ago, so I don't care lol
ThisFrickenGuy
That reminds me of telling someone to google image search people coughing. Classic.
Panahet
ON THE FUCKING TRAIN.
Panahet
It's been a long day.
kaakku
I did this and the music start playing
guericK
I know what I'm doing.
HiMyNameIsEllieandILoveTheBrownbolt
I was all like, what!? Yes I can... ohhhhh I get it. Now my boyfriend is giving me the eye though.
KelluvaKobra
He thinks your dropping hints
thebeginningoftomorrow
oh i was going left to right...i would give a horrible blow job apparently
LeTonzy
Yeah, was doing this at work and everybody was looking at me weird, thanks
deemondrop
I thought about trying it then realized this..
CharmingAndSexyGentlemanStarshipCaptain
OP, we both frequent this subreddit. High five!
tyranno66
I was almost about to do that in calss... Went "Wait a minute..."
Tagross
I bobbed my head side to side and didn't get it until I read this comment.
Flether
Thankfully I realized this before I actually tried mimicking the movements. That could have been awkward.
TheVoiceOfVLG
I'll be honest, you got me
Tillia
This was a set-up, right?
snowytheboss
Or a real one. You don't know my life
CaptainObviousAndHisMinions
#justigorthings
AmFireAmDeath
bobed my head from left to right.... i didn't get it
ManicYEEtPressive
GODDAMNIT NOT AGAIN
ro128487
I almost tried it, then I remembered that I'm at work...
loxus
Homophobic bastard. :P
IuhhhCANTTHINKOFANYTHINGCLEVER
AllisonBrie.gif
beejabah
what
JohnWickdidnothingwrong
paddythelion
I *knew* it, and yet I tried it. I'm not even mad. Kudos.
graehall
I thought that one was a little obvious, but the rest were brilliant. Especially the time and distance one.
ayoungerdumberronswanson
Unless you're sucking a real dick
CanadianOneDollarCoin
Except I bobbed my head left to right & not forwards & backwards so ha ha mothafucka! :)
OneZebraInAHerdOfWildebeests
Congrats, you just have that air shaft extreme satisfaction!
DerpDerpPanda
Nobody believes your lies.
ImTheAngelic1
I did the same thing...
KillingTheJoke1
Stroke the shaft, contemplate existence
TheLordJohnMarbury
I didn't get it. It's... been a while.
Wheresthatmeteor
Ghost d
mustang8867
Except for those with more than air in their mouths.
Callipygous87
thank you ted, that was the joke.
Crowlands
Looked at that one. contemplated for a second. "... no."
Stuntminer202
Double dip is strong with this one
bojo2015
ImASexyUnicorn
The 90s were simpler times
vealeigh
Oooooooooaaaoooah, I never let the water run (8)
Vaanhalen
Those posters on the wall...
SaucyDisses
I fairly enjoyed laughing at this gif but it only lasted a few seconds as my phone slapped its dick on my forehead. Sigh.
HeWhoIsValorousAndPureOfHeartMayFindTheHolyGrailInTheAaarrrgghh
SaucyDisses
Oh my god.
manslut
I went side to side and was immensely confused.
LeCacty
I feel your pain.
CharmingAndSexyGentlemanStarshipCaptain
It's called "Gobbling the cock"
BreadyStinellis
Me too. I thought there might be a Stevie Wonder joke I didn't get.
tabIeandchairs
I just nodded. was really confused until ops comment
puppiesonabus
Me too! That's what "back and forth" means to me
DecreaseWorldSuck
What does "Side to side" mean to you?
AskingTheRealQuestions
I'm guessing it means what "back and forth" means to regular people. What I want to know is which of his sides is back and which is front.
mungothemenacing
I did two bobs and whispered "son of a bitch..."
toiletpaperzombievolcano
haha exactly the same :D then came the "mega sigh"
cafk
half a bob, still... you sob :D
elpadlina
Did you know that if you close eyes and pretend you shake salt on your tongue your brain will be tricked into tasting salt ?
LittleKittyMine
I did it about 3 times, promptly snapped my mouth shut, and frowned as I thought about my life choices.
thestruggleisreal
I tried to get my bf to do it and he moved his head side to side. Should I be worried?
LiterallyYourMom
It's OK, he was just motorboating air boobs.
mungothemenacing
Well, the good news is he's not gay. Or, just very bad at it and you should consider giving him instruction.
TheDemonCrowley
I did about twenty, no regrets.
likeallthethings
No ragrets.
TittySprinklesAndClitter
I don't know that many Bobs.
TheDemonCrowley
Hell has it's perks, buddy.
HellkerN
Oh wow, thank you, kind sir, these are great.
seikzio
I'm a lady
MachoestofMen
I call bullshit, there's no way Fujiko could have fit boobs that big into Lupin's beanpole suit.
HellkerN
My apologies, m'lady.
ConfederacyOfDunces
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Well, don't you know about the bird Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word
Mintipony
I feel like i need a source
99point99Repeating
Saving gif Ryan.
Monarchist
well at least the ghost whose dick you were suckin didn't have to say no homo
Ireallydonthaveanyideawhattonamemyself
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8qj40fXQX1r6ja9oo1_500.gif
lhug
and this is why I generally thank with "sir/madam/insertgenderhere" or similar =)
TheBlackShakes
That's a good idea there, fella/gal/gynandromorph
ChangedMyName
I once got fooled into acting out brushing my tongue in a game of charades. Never again
UselessBlabber
I would have made the same mistake.
DrunkenMurphy
Indeed, this will be good knowledge to know, mwhahaha
ThisFrickenGuy
I must use this knowledge for the good of mankind
Squirrelmastersbitch
This is so awesome. Thank you for this wisdom
gloriousbastard
Lol i think anyone would have fallen for that one +1
erischilde
I fell for the head Bob but I don't get this one :/
poopinginpublic
He got a card that said to brush his tongue. When he tried acting it out he looked like he was giving a dude a bj. The unaware people (1)
poopinginpublic
were probably highly confused and uncomfortable because whoever made the cards is a fucking genius :D (2)
Kiwi31415
Does this help?
erischilde
That totally helps.. but nothing like how i tried to mime "brushing my tongue".. and i feel a little dumber for it :/