BegrudinglyDone
356109
14890
102
Welcome to the work force.
Aug 20, 2017 5:11 PM
BegrudinglyDone
356109
14890
102
entropyk
May be a trick question to weed out inexperienced. "Oh, yes! I've had MORE than 8 years experience!" Interviewer: "NEXT!"
DaisyfromDownunder
On your resume, just lie about your height
TemporarySelf
As someone who has worked with Swift since day zero (public beta), this has been happening since that day. Dipshit recruiters is all.
irisewithredeyes
Well, maybe they aim to hire some of the developers of Swift...
PapaSloth
"I have over 10 years of iOS development in xcode, and have been using Swift since its release in 2013."
SirSmurfalot
Seems like they have some unrealistic expectations for their applicants.
Jaqdakloun
We lie on our resumes, they lie on their job postings, and thus the circle is completed.
HoCroBro
I went into an interview for a "marketing assistant role" and they wanted someone who could build them a new website from bottom up.
wGiraffeBandit
Swift is also a trucking company.
TheBlueMuppet
Sure Wish I Finished Truckschool.
treefrog
Chris Lattner (the guy who wrote Swift) might have 8 years experience. And - he was recently unemployed?
kriswinters
Looking for a job in HR. All of them require 5+ years of experience for an ENTRY level job.
NotMyUsualOnlineName
Game dev is just as bad, at least when I looked at it years ago for an assignment. 3+ years experience, with your name in the credits of at
NotMyUsualOnlineName
least 3 titles released by major companies.
Gentamicin
State that on your letter of interest to the hiring committee.
kcrvoxtano
+1. I read this as an attempt to find someone that notices and has the chutzpah to call them out.
CiaranMeicBrennan
Actually, they want only time travelers. By advertising like this, they only get people who know technology that hasn't been invented yet.
Atuat
samsonguy920
That's just Becky and she hardly looks swift in that video.
swinglinered
dammit Becky!
Psymon100
A test to see if you really know the language or not!
NightfallEverdark
Clearly, if you worked 3 jobs simultaneously which used Swift, you are their ideal candidate.
ChairmanLMA0
If you were truly proficient in Swift you'd write a time machine and pick up the extra experience
Kneee
Maybe they're talking about Taylor swift?
JunkMonk
just like seeking 10+ years experience designing for smart phones
iceph03nix
There just aren't any qualified residents here in the states so we'll have to import some H1Bs to fill it.
Spidey209
By "qualified" you mean fully qualified and willing to work 80hrs/week for minimum wage?
MenaceToSobriety
I've never seen "8+ years experience" on any job requirement.
Asteroidrules
Apply to McDonald's, they require that and a degree.
abthered
Chris Lattner and his team are the only people who actually have 8 years of experience on Swift, I read it on a recent article about him
MrPredator
Heh, I await the day you need to be 21yrs old, have 40yrs experience, a dual doctorates and a thesis for minimum wage jobs.
CotterPyke
you were supposed to start training while still in the womb, everybody else is just not committed to the field.
RakiaTime
Maybe then millennials will stop being bitches and stop looking for that perfect job as a avocado taste tester qnd just settle for 1/2
RakiaTime
2/2 Anything that pays the rent, like a normal person would do. I have a marketing degree but im a accauntant/delivery diver/do everything
drunkenvalley
That's what most people are doing, cunt.
leareth
you mean now? :P
IFoldlyGo
And provide your own tools/equipment
MrAnonManfrom4Chan
I can't even find unpaid internships man, I'm willing to be a coffeemaker for people but shit yo, nothing.
PsychopompGecko
In 2010, saw a cashier job requiring three years experience.
Idontspellcheck
Tell 'em you've been Swiftie since she dropped her first album.
XaviersSnakeArm
Tell em you theoretically trained with swift for 8 years
NirvanaNik
Show me what you got!
StoChastic84
And shit on their floor. Guaranteed to be remembered, maybe even hired. Maybe.
FigmentOfReality
I reopened this post just to +1 good one
slapmethrice
Get shwifty.
Rogu3s
Shit on the floor!
Isbjorn
Head bent over! Raise the posterior!
EnivrezVousDeVin
S c h w i f t y
oldsagecrow
Gayforbae
OsakaHugger
Shit in the floor during the interview.
Folsee
First cut a hole in it.
MumblingSaint
ImmaNeedBoutTreeFiddy
We're still waiting @ChefShwasty
ChefShwasty
My new neighbors are nice, man.
KCBeard
sciencebasedlifeform
YouThinkYouDoButYouDontt
Just curious, why do people hate her again? I can't be bothered research it myself..
Gayforbae
Because all her songs seem to be breakup songs
pookieeatworld
Country fans think she's too pop, and everyone else just hates her cuz she's country.
sometimesidontevenknowwhyibother
It's what happens when managers create the job postings. I've seen it and known of my org doing the same type of thing.
BlumpkinPie69
The posting for my current job asked people to be skilled in something that is automated in our system, so no one would be doing it anyway.
tr26
Who would be better to write it than the hiring manager? HR?
bpjarMemePoster
They are saying the project developer not the lead designer, manager is such a vague term in business beacuse no one is really number 1.
tr26
Given that a JD is normally written by the hiring manager, it's less of a vague term in this instance. That's just my assumption.
bpjarMemePoster
Hiring responsibility flip flops between people on jobs and development groups.
CrazyCatLad
Saw a job posting earlier that wanted CAD designers but didn't want any links to portfolios. They wanted a PDF of samples. Fuck off!
theyar
Uh, no, it's what happens when HR creates the job postings.
tomatoboy
^this.
SnowCrashedToDesktop
Also-fucking-lutely. Seen so many job specs mangled when the advertisement finally went out that I have a facepalm derived divot in my head.
RurikFral
Had this exact thing happen. Asked HR to do a posting for a Sr Dev with Angualr 4.0 exp and they translated that to 5 years of 4.0 exp lol
TheFrenchCanadianTaunter
because to them "senior"=5 years xp? What do you consider the difference between junior and senior developer?
drunkenvalley
5 years of experience overall, not 5 years on everything, I presume.
RurikFral
Depends on the situation, in our case we wanted a full stack .Net dev with Angular 4 xp. But hr just saw sr and put 5yrs on everything :P
DaveNI
I enjoy inserting Pokémon names into my online resume to screw with LinkedIn recruiters.
ikindafail
2 years working with Scyther Lawn Service. Graduated Porygon University top of the class. Telemarketer at Medicham Marketing.
TheDudeanator
We need a demonstration
RedCharlie
A bit unorthodox imo but saying you are willing to squirtle on their jigglypuffs about half a page down might go unnoticed.
PeacefulWarfare
While working in Malaysia my team building skills allowed us to save an entire group of wild charmeleons that we're going extinct.
DaveNI
I should mention I am a software engineer and new JavaScript libraries are coming out every 10 minutes with random names.
idelta777
there are some that are pretty explicit in their name https://github.com/jezen/is-thirteen
IATTM
I take it you haven't heard of blazz yet?
INeedAHotChocolate
Oh wow, check out this guy with his blazz like its aug 21. Get with the time buddy, Guliz is the only thing worth writing web apps with.
IATTM
Dude, Guliz was so 2 hours ago. All the big names are using zarrallar now.
mufasa1028
Cant get a job because I need 3 years of experience, can't get experience because I can't get a job. - life today
RakiaTime
Or you could stop being a lazy millenial and dig ditches for a living
mufasa1028
Its a fricken joke... Calm down turbo
waterbucketsandsparetowels
As a non lazy millennial where's the ditch digging jobs? State don't hire fair wages companies don't pay enough to only work 1 job anymore
RakiaTime
And what would you call a fair wage? For me a fair wage is enough to cover rent and food
waterbucketsandsparetowels
I'm a supervisor and not making enough to cover my rent and food. I work hard I enjoy working hard. But I deserve to eat 3 meals a day
mufasa1028
Or generations like you could stop destroying the economy and we'd be fine
waterbucketsandsparetowels
I'm 21
mufasa1028
Then stop complaining, you make millennials look bad
OblivionOrBust
Inversely, I had on my CV/resume 11 years of Python experience and was called a liar as Python wasn't released until 2006
ChickenFingerFingers
It's HR doing the postings. Their supposed to work with managers to update it, but I've seen it not.
ChickenFingerFingers
One job I interviewed for, half the stuff was no longer managed by the DEPT.
SirPelvisJohnwood
Wow. So I looked it up and Python 0.9 was first released in 1991. It's version 2.5 that was released in 2006. How do you confuse those?
SomeCrazyNerd
It's been 11 years since 2006. When you get your job?
OblivionOrBust
That was in 2008 or maybe 2009
BobKelsoDoesntGiveACrap
GoGoGadgetBinoculars
How can you not have 11 years if 2006 was 11 years ago?
MrBananaFingers
Twiggeh
...Maybe the interview was done a few years back? :|
drunkenvalley
In fairness, Python also didn't release in 2006... it's older than that. That was his point, I think.
OblivionOrBust
Exactly, this was around 2008 to 2009 when Python was still treated like a joke thanks to PHP & to some extent Rails (Ruby is Rails)
BronzeLeaguePro
Python is also a Common Lisp compiler, so you could have been a compiler hacker. But in that case, you'd have been headhunted.
afriendofmine
I know what you mean, but when you say it like that I can't help but imagine a Predator putting those 3 red dots on his forehead.
LemmiwinksKingofGerbils
Better get to the chopper.
BronzeLeaguePro
(defmacro chopper () ... )
ThomasJeffersonAirplane
Maybe it was, but a different kind of predator.
3lv3n
More sexually active or less? This whole headhunting concept seems alien to me.
tankboy
The amount of O/T programmers work, it's easy to get 8 years of experience in three calendar years.
spetcnaz
Yeah but that is not what they mean when they post it. Let's not sugar coat terrible job postings.
CheckMyFavoritesThankMeLater
We have a manager here
Sacurason
Oh, so a year is a year in work hours, rather than a year spent using the program day-to-day? Interesting.
razetherunner
no, but it's a feasible workaround, which is exactly the kind of thing i'd want in a programmer if i knew what i was talking about.
tremonti
This sentence is hilarious and I feel like certain people don't understand that. :/
razetherunner
thank you for treating my lazy sarcasm with the bemused eye-roll it deserves.
Sacurason
Hmm, excellent point. Still trying to get into the "programmer mindset" myself, honestly.
zeiji
thats still like 15.5h a day 7 days a week with 2 weeks/year of for 3 years.
VioletMoonRising
uh no. What you work 18 hour days?
NZSheeps
You don't?
officialmisunderstanding
no. but i'm not a programmer
Nightcaste
Are you suggesting there are fewer than 24 hours in a workday?
DingoWoof
Gotta be working at least 27 hours a day.
TaggerXA
Gotta work 31/7
darkerface
cause you're working even when you're asleep
Nightcaste
Sleep? That's cute.
exlurker42
Sr level developer requires 8 years experience by default, HR or management was told it was a swift position and wasn't told that. Happens.
ufookenwotm8
There's people I've rejected in phone screens and actual interviews with "20+ years experience" that know less than some interns.
TePDM
You're the one of the few. I get "you've only been working 5 years..........
ufookenwotm8
For developers, if seniority is handed out based on X years around vs actual abilities (team/individual) it'll be an ass-backwards company.
Cheesecakecrush
Seniority is only calculated by time with the company.
ufookenwotm8
In terms of developers, massively incorrect. Otherwise there wouldn't be job postings for Senior/Lead developers.
TheFrenchCanadianTaunter
How would you phrase the job posting according to abilities? No snarky, genuinely curious as knowing that could be useful
ufookenwotm8
You have 2 columns: can't live without, these are normally concepts/attitude based; and nice to haves, these relate to library, impl, (1/?)
ufookenwotm8
or similar. I am big on social profiles (github, gitlab, etc) and they'll push your profile in my favour, or other OSS contribution. (2/?)
ufookenwotm8
It'd boil down to blurb about the areas you'd touch, the company, and then a list of column A and B. Inside would be what we expect (3/?)
exlurker42
Actual ability is a bitch and a half to judge in any field, that's why seniority is a thing in requirements
TePDM
Project Portfolio. And plenty of online puzzles. Facebook once had puzzles that my friends put on their resumes on list of accomplishments.
exlurker42
Portfolios sound great but NDAs make them impractical for moat non self employed devs.
TePDM
Not portfolios from your job. Personal projects showing your expertise in methods and implementation. My dev friends have all their projects
thatgotoutofhand
Could you not do a technical interview? Like, give them some sort of a task to program in the language for a day? Some friends of mine have
thatgotoutofhand
done similar sorta things except for engineering, accounting.
exlurker42
You certainly can, but it's impractical to screen every possible applicant that way. You have to pick a quantifiable filter somewhere.
iamtiredofmakingnewusernames
This is why you write the cover letter and resume to fit the job posting, then address that nonsense in the interview when they ask.
WelcomToJamRock
Youre a saleaman aremt you
igivetheinternets
Put 10 years of Swift experience. Shpuld impress them.
Justineer
Maybe if millennials spent less on brunch and more on particle physics research they could time travel back 2.7 times to get the experience.
SarahPlsz
We're too busy eating Avocado toast and buying houses for our dogs instead of our kids and not having any money.
QuiXiuQ
That.
Schleemikron
Then deal with the possible nonsense of the employer who made the job posting? I'll pass.
Mockingbirb
Obviously not the computer language is what they mean, that would be stupid. They're surely referring to singer Taylor Swift, famous for 8y+
Mockingbirb
...that's what they want:
michonnedisapproves
I think the woman behind her was having a stroke
Mockingbirb
Probably, yes
KeeleonOhms
I know I am!
maximsk
That, or saluting a widely reviled political ideology.
Melanisia
Just assume that many of the "requirements" are more of a wish list. They'll take the best they can get for what they're paying.
BlueKarat
"We wish that you were a time traveler from the future to give us a competitive edge by giving us more experience than possible"
fgcmh
Not if they use Taleo. If it says 5 years and you have 4.99, Taleo will make sure your resume does not pass on.
ServerMonkeyKing
Handed them my entry and exit dates from the Army AND my DD-214. Automated email reply to apply again when I am out of the Army. ???? FU2M
fgcmh
Sounds like Taleo.
OniOfWildPlaces
As someone currently looking, thanks!
sometimesidontevenknowwhyibother
At my company, you have to affirm your experience during resume submission. Lying is grounds for dismissal.
BlueKarat
Can't get dismissed if you don't have a job to dismiss from yet
RoadRageRob666
With ethics like that I bet your company offers a competitive pension plan, RRSP matching and solid benefits! /s
cloudmarusan
Spot on.
computerphile
In my experience, actually having what they ask for might be the exact thing that would disqualify you from the same position..
AbsolutIceland
Well yeah, it's harder to justify underpaying you if you meet all of their requirements.
computerphile
In my current job, they're massively overpaying me (us all really), but I wouldn't have gotten the job if I'd completed my B.Sc..
TrapsAreIllegal
Problem is that sometimes your resume gets to HR and they look for these key things with no understanding of them at all.
Melanisia
Well if you apply you might not get the job, but if you don't apply you definitely won't get the job.
TrapsAreIllegal
Not disagreeing, just saying.
BonkyMcSignFace
Actually I find that the wish list sadly is more an exit opening if they don't like the candidate personally.
BlueKarat
I've seen it go both ways tbh. It could also be others.
MacClay
It's also used to 'compromise' downward on the advertised salary if you don't fit the impossible requirements.
Ryvienna
I met none of the requirements for my new job. They liked me because I had office experience and a college degree.
Ryvienna
...they also may or may not believe that I'm a Mormon, which is important in this area.
LavaAxe
Just drop subtle tips on how to wash the holy underwear and they'll be none the wiser.
OniOfWildPlaces
LOL please tell me what job you got, that you then studied up on mormons
Ryvienna
I know a lot of Mormons. I was hired as a receptionist by an elderly Mormon dentist.
Iloveanonymityandilovebeingnoticed
And maybe don't specify the number of years experience. Say 'since it came out' or something more resume-y
Spidey209
"Early adpoter" ?
Azated
"As an early adopter of Swift and related languages, I have multiple years of experience on many projects"
JapAnus
I noticed on your job posting you were looking for people experienced in java. I didnt know you were hiring retards, that's very progressive
merlinious
Feckin savage
RoadRageRob666
I laughed.... Im a bad, bad man.
ixamxber
"So you lied on your resume?"
itsdaFoodHero
This would set this person apart for all the others interviewed as not only is he coming clean before getting the job but everyone else lied
Okapiright
"Only to get my foot in the door; showing initiative and that, like."
GavinScreaming
I mean the worst that can happen is you don't get the job. Better chance if you get to the interview stage
Redenbacher09
Not if you don't call out the time period explicitly.
WWisLife
Exactly!!
BlueKarat
"No, I'm actually a time traveler from the future here to make a home in the time period that suits me best"
IamTheBaron
Who cares, if they don't know that Swift started 3 years ago, they're probably not worth it, just do the interview for shits and giggles
ryry1237
If only you could even get the interview in the first place... Every job I applied to that required more than 2 years of exp than I had 1/2
ryry1237
I simply got a reject email or never heard back from them
TheFrenchCanadianTaunter
This is where "fake it 'til you make it" may be useful advice. Sucks but if HR people are going to be witless gits, that may be the only way
guntacular
Not if your resume says "I've been using Swift since its creation"
twrig144
Cant ague with that logic
TinnyOctopus
"Been using Swift since it was 4 years old."
imadethisaccounttotellyouthis
The best job I ever jad inlied on the resume. Took them 3 months to figure it out, and by that time they were willing to train me.
thisiskissel
I lied to get a waiter's job. I later confessed that I wasn't 21 and the manager was impressed how honest I was. Got me a job elsewhere.
extremeblueness
He was impressed how honest you were when you lied in the first place?
thisiskissel
Yep. So he calls a friend, tells him this, and asks him to give me a job (@ a restarant that didn't sell liquor).
MyNameIsTaquito
Oh sweetie...
sneaker2
Hooker?
imadethisaccounttotellyouthis
Strip club bouncer.
Azated
Do you really need training for that? Stand around, look menacing... that's about it.
RincewindTVD
Based on spelling it was teaching English? :D
PedanticAndIKnowIt
Noice.
patthecat
3edgy5me
imadethisaccounttotellyouthis
No. Fat fingers on a tiny phone. I was a lab job.
TimeRyderAndTheChronoTeens
Did you get fired for being so fat that your fingers turned fat?
madgardener
I was a lab job too.