CatDad2
64969
1956
33
And surprise florida woman. What else do y'all have.
Jun 26, 2020 3:14 AM
CatDad2
64969
1956
33
And surprise florida woman. What else do y'all have.
ChanceVLuck
"Grandma No Teeth" almost sounds like an invitation. No. I'm not from Florida.
Imhonestlypartying
Notice none of them get shot and then kicked while dying? Kinda makes me wonder if anyone should be treated that way
SoilentR
Sunshine laws let people post arrest stories before conviction, outing people suspected of crimes. The podcast, Citations Needed covers it
dogestyle
Next, in our game of "Fact, the Onion or made up by a shitty AI"
uponstrangeshores
Damn America y'all scary.
Bendmydickcuminhersnatch
Notice how non of them are Black, because if they were - they've already been shot
BBRed
Last time I checked, being mud covered ain’t naked in Florida
Miller16of16
https://imgur.com/hPJppAo
BlackCatSerenade99900
And everyone single one is alive to have a mugshot taken. Just saying.
YouDontKnowMeIDontKnowMe
OKay but like...Free Jorge...
Ovaender
#5 well you are a bad guy, but not a BAD guy...
Munchman347
What's really scary is that he was going to burn people he THOUGHT were pedos. The cops can't get the right perps, and this guy?...
Ovaender
Ouch
youdontknowmylifebitch
fuckingscott
This is fine with us too. Keep the fucking snowbirds.
stainlessteelmohawk
Would the Cuban people cheer or get nervous if this happened?
wulfeyy
fuzzlebuttsmama
MyRespectableAlterEgo
“America’s glory hole”
BrewmasterDan
Half of these people would have been shot by police if they were black
NotInLimboAnymore
#5 when police arrived too soon. I never knew that could happen.
Misdivah
Oh course the meth guy was white which is the only reason he is still alive after attacking police and their dog smh.
jacabassalope
I hate to be a buzzkill...but the reason you see so many Florida Man posts has a lot to do with the transparency laws in the state
AtsaMattaForMe
florida woman
v
trueunpopularopinions
Could easily be mistaken for a modern dance choreography
billyrayvalentine
She could use a bath and some sobering up off the meth, probably.
BanishedBook
f3n1x187
Beware of the Rain, cars flip all of the sudden
DarkBusterBaron
#5 i fail to see the problem here.
Neproctodelas
Fail to see what are you doing in the 21st century ...
stainlessteelmohawk
#3 dispute over BB Gun...I read "dispute over BBQ Gun" I thought someone was tryna BBQ chickens wit a gun
Apeofdeath
I used to live in Florida, moving was the right choice
ThiSpaceForEnt
I hope somebody somewhere is writing a movie script about Florida Man where they try to cram in as many real life stories as possible
UnrustleYerJimmies
Why not you? Why not now? Anyone can cook! I mean, write a movie script.
Aj1218
The funny thing about Florida is the Sunshine law. Literally every arrest and mugshot is made public. This is where we get our meth stories.
CptRobotNinja
Florida is Americas attempt to evolve Russians
Putyourindexfingerandyourthumbtogether
This should be international, for severeal reasons
PriestofThor
Meth of our stories.*
VodkaReindeer
How else would you make money by compiling those mugshots and then charging people to take them down?
underSopchoppy
and where the comedians of the country lift their schticks
UranusSpelunker
I’m not a comedian but I definitely lift my schtick...
stainlessteelmohawk
Plus One
zonide
if they arent saying this, they should be, this same shit happens everywhere; we hear about florida so much because of that law.
Lulabel73
It’s the tropical weather. In Australia we have a term “gone tropo” means gone crazy due to the tropical heat.
BioshockDaddy
All of these could be plot points or side missions stories in the new GTA.
Sekai
Maybe he ate a meth alligator
genericanamoly
Okay, what’s with the meth alligators? Twice I have seen this within an hour.
Sekai
There was an issue also in Florida of people flushing meth down the toilet which resulted in meth-addled alligators
Sekai
https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/breaking-news/os-ne-lorretto-police-meth-gators-20190716-qxgfvdwr6zd25lhtp7voyigby4-story.html
catsandcoke
People in Florida are just weird. It’s not the sunshine law.
brusilov
DigiT00l
The fact these reports are more public, and the headlines can be more detailed helps a lot
Covidnineteen
Also one of the most populated states. I think they are number 3 now
Covidnineteen
Nah man, I lived all over the US. People are bonkers everywhere.
AnythingMuchShorter
I've lived in rural parts of Nebraska, upstate NY, Wyoming, Wisconsin, and New Mexico, they all have crazy meth heads doing crazy shit.
BatmanOSX
More Covid-19 cases in Florida?....
shoveahabeneroupmybum
What movie and actor is that?
StillVanillaRice
movie is Kung Fu Hustle. checked imdb for the talk dudes name but could not find him. actor looking for a fight is Stephen Chow
shoveahabeneroupmybum
Hell yeah, thought I recognized him
McMeowenstein
I swear Florida is a government experiment.
goodisunpopular
Fun Fact: Florida was one of the main testing sites for Agent Orange and the people who handled it weren't warned of the dangers.
5uperu5er
Like the Vaults in Fallout
thefwank
If so, which is scarier to think about: that the experiment failed... or that it succeeded?
tm85naibsel360
Both?
MoriartyWithThemNegativeWaves
If I’m ever in Florida and see “quicksave” pop up over a guys head, I am running away.
siler7
a guys
Spawnsy
Ha as if it isnt already to late at that point
AFriskyJacket
that's probably good practice no matter what state or country your in.
PPHalpert
Cant blame #5
JamiePittman0000
Of all the times the police are late to a call, this time they just had to get there TOO F-ing fast
Sugarcrotch
same with #6 not seeing the arrestable offence
Iwannaseeit
#6 doesn't say she got arrested, she just made headlines. (Maybe she did though, but I'm going from the picture)
fourbabiesinatrenchcoat
Can't public urination get you on there?
Jaeger6Ix
Florida needs it's own national anthem
bartender19
Florida needs its own reality show
JackChaCha
Bawitbada - Kid Rock
JuddDocherty
We have one. It's tick tock by ke$ha.
balzanya
orrrrrrrr a national amputation.
blake915
They have one. It's a person being mirandarized (spelling?) While being placed under arrest
squanchit
mirandize, but honestly i like yours more
TodayIsSlapANaziDay
Just let someone on meth sing the regular anthem. That will do
drawnbyjohn
They can have anything by nickelback they want!
LevelSixLotus
Way down upon the Swanee River...
UranusSpelunker
I used to live there it has one, it’s just dueling banjos with a breakbeat background.
shorey66
And the overlaid screams. Don't forget the screams
billyrayvalentine
It's the Benny Hill theme
krynny
Just listened to the Benny theme. Can confirm.
thatsbadmmkay
Its great I went to high school with one of the crazier Florida Man stories.
siler7
It's
thatsbadmmkay
Eh
thatsbadmmkay
This one: https://wtfflorida.com/news/naked-florida-man-jumps-off-roof-knocks-television-empties-vacuum-cleaner-masturbates/
tm85naibsel360
Bath salts? Do they have a test for that now?
WyldStallynsRule
Holy shit he masturbated on the floor *AFTER* the homeowner fired her pistol in warning?
sordatos
Holy fucking I'm laughing out loud for real.
EmmaReiki
Do you know what he was on?
Corona688
They "couldn't identify it", which either means they didn't try, or "all of them"
trueunpopularopinions
The roof
MostlyDinosaurs
Weird how none of them were killed by police...
f3n1x187
RIGHT?!!!! #1 would've definitely be shot at the moment he bit the dog!
iwantashortnameforonceohshit
RVA here- first one is so similar to our Marcus David Peters murder. Except, MDP was black. And not even on drugs. And he didn’t hurt anyone
Piscivore
Right?
thepikachubandit24
There's so much meth in their system I doubt they could even be killed
BlueSquader
This needs to be higher
AP116
All have one thing in common...
AmbroseGudmaker
Meth?
nomadicgear
They’re all from Florida
OlympicFail
I hope these are all real
rangermcfadden
I’m afraid they probably are
Aj1218
They are. In 1969, FL passed an anticorruption law called the "Sunshine law" every arrest is made public...The crazy thing is FL isn't the 1
Aj1218
Most crime ridden state...or the one with the most drugs. It just makes public everything.
OlympicFail
Thank you random citizen! That makes a lot of sense.