peepinggoldfish
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Like it says, he went down on me, things happened, and I farted. In his face. He simply snapped up, went to the bathroom, and brushed his teeth because "his tooth was hurting".
Darling, I know you browse user sub, and in case you read this, I'm so sorry I farted in your face.
OhShitThatsADeathclaw
I farted while a guy was going down on me. I was mortified. He said "don't worry about it!" And kept going. What a champ
CavalierNique
Sounds like he needs a Dentist. It only gets worse the longer you leave it.
Jbeales2
If he really loved you, he'd hold it in like a bong hit.
ght2v1
That's so sweet and also fucking disgusting
ToxicCupcake79
Been there. Done that. Had an orgasm.
Nevercanpick1
You're married, no worries
51CorgisInABar
One time my girlfriend queefed so loud she got the neighbors dog to start barking. She was mortified but I thought it was hilarious
soulfullofhope
I did that once and started laughing so hard i farted again and i couldn't stop the laughing farting cycle for a few minutes. Good times
Krayhayft
sourorphan2112
That is my absolute biggest fear with sex and I've been married 7 years.
Sansaismyspiritanimal
So says he wants to fart in my mouth while I give him a rim job to see if it puffs my cheeks out
TedTheMan
You will have to video so he can see. (Please do not share that video!!!!!)
ProbablyDrunkAgain
If you have one brewing, tell him to pull your finger.
THATGUYYOUH8
Ur his lil hitler cause you always be gassin
LazyIsBad
The ex used to fart on me while she was on top and we would crack up. We would tell bad jokes and make each other laugh. Best sex I've (1)
LazyIsBad
Ever had... until she turned into a lying cheating bitch and broke my heart :\
turdferguson74
I got farted on while dining at the Y. I told her, "It's OK, I usually make 'em shit"
googleknowsmysecrets
If you have enough sex, things lIke this will happen. If you can't laugh about it, then the awkward sets in
danceswithsarcasm
I did that once. We laughed and he finished the job.
thelittletrainthatcanteven
If he gets pink eye I'd lol
dumbintact
Be prepared for a trip to walk in care to deal with a future case of pink eye.
DeeCee21
skipweasel
Shit happens.
peepinggoldfish
Thankfully not this time. It was just a fart
comeheremeow
HEYO!
halborski
cvnk
Must have been quite the fart to make his tooth hurt
unreal669
Whats the problem? so long as its not followed up by a chocolate log alls good. this stuff happens.
VagisilToothpaste
Some people are weak and just can't deal.
whytrz
One person's embarrassing moment is another person's fetish.
drtingle
Look him in the eye. Assert dominance.
doesntgetmorearabthanthis
???????????? this comment
SwedenIsCool
Ass-ert Dominance
Candyman216
Look at him in his brown eye and assert dominance
sanderthesafe
Tsss
dmon82
"Tsss", oh! The "silent" treatment, the most vicious one.
sanderthesafe
I was more into the whole south park, cesar milan thing but hey. Whatever floats your boat
ShoopDeDoop
Funny sounds happen. If you can't laugh during sex, you're doing it wrong.
Flyndaran
Because every woman loves seeing it go flaccid? I could never be horny erect and laughing. Not all feelings mesh well for everyone.
FencerAtHeart
I don't think it was the sounds that made him stop....
Zombraina
Funny sounds? Funny sounds are one thing, having colon gas blasted in your face is a whooooole other thing.
peepinggoldfish
Well I was at least laughing. He was too busy brushing his teeth
SuperNintendoEntertainmentSystem
If I'm laughing, I'm not having sex anymore. I wouldn't stay hard or in the mood. We can laugh, but I'd have to get back into it after.
UnluckyLunkhead
Or as someone else once said "If sex isn't dirty, you're doing it wrong."
TheRealFrankTurpentine
DidItForScience
Jamming out to black metal on a classical acoustic guitar. Hahaha reminds me of high school.
LostLadyTX
Omg love this!!
dumbintact
There another version of this gif where his head comes off. I like that one better.
SkyHighInc
That made me giggle
kdogg73
I usually come across this gif when my wife is asleep next to me. Stifling my laughter is painful.
iamthedoctorthisismytardis
This gif gets me every damn time. It's so stupid, but I'll be damned if I don't laugh like the idiot I am.
matchugegs
Me too. I like the one where his head flies away after a couple twirls too.
DerpItLikeItsHot
This is the best thing I have ever seen
JoshVita
http://imgur.com/yXaHNi5
Nova225
There it is
MoyerTheDestroyer47
TheDrunkinClam
A guy once told me, He would suck the fart out of a girls Ass.
Eppiox
Translates to "I want the taste of poo in my mouth", gross :/
pmsnow
Ops story happened w/ ex when hand was involved. Full mouth of ass gas. Needless to say I would suck a fart out of her ass again
darkhalfbreed
*chews* i don't think i would
whatsupbud
Arnold is that you? You werent supposed to tell the world!
Krinder
Sounds like a god damn keeper to me
BachelorGourmet
I need to get myself away from this place.
neeks64
before i was dating my bf he told his friend's he'd eat a mile of my shit just to see where it came from....men... :-|
TotalSmartAss
"What kind of beer does he drink?" "Felch Lite"
humanburger
Depends on the girl.
BenjimanStickyLiquid
I wanna tongue punch your fart box
schleimkeim
He was a virgin
DickNash
Suck a fart from her ass like a bong rip.
IdUpvoteYouButYoureAt69
I get that reference lol
algavinn
Still a virgin then, is he? Or into acting in strong pornography? Kinda the only directions that goes.
HopingForBlah
Out of a girls ass or your ass? Don't lie....
Creamo
What if it wasn't a fart..
verygoodartsi
yeah i remember cro_ too
SingleMomSteveHarrington
I was walking around NYC and came across a guy that was just yelling this exact line to random people.
youllnevergetmeluckycharms
Tell me his name was Spence.
harambesghost18
With a username like that, would that man be you by any chance
ThatOneGirlWhoGotEmbarassedByHerUserAndChangedIt
what's his name? Need to make restraining order
PropainAndPropainAccesories
melissarain
Someone asked me to do this to me on tinder before
tacochief74
1/2 Someone once told me that if he had a certain woman at home, she would never need toilet paper. He said this multiple times in one night
tacochief74
2/2 with hand and tongue gestures each time. Don't know if he was serious, but it was damn funny.
TheMusicSnob
HopingForBlah
Out of a girls ass or your ass? Don't lie....
CurbSided
Also would suck the fart out her car seat.
Thecamelpirate
as a guy, yes we say that, not necessarily do.
TheNonInsestuousJaime
Sometimes we do...
bigdaddyfatpants
I'd eat a mile of shit to lick your asshole baby.
itsatoughshittydingo
Can't go there with you.
bigdaddyfatpants
It's OK, more for me.
itsatoughshittydingo
Riiiiight.
SomethingLain
@Jawlessgull that you buddy?
GutsTheStruggler
My personal favorite is "I'd army crawl through a mile of broken glass just to hear her fart in to a walkie talkie."
donutjudgeme
That's more cute than disgusting.
donutjudgeme
That's more cute than disgusting.
Aricj
Was his name Omar or Chuck?
weirdassgifinthecomments
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass just to hear you fart through a Walkie talkie
PAGlNGDRFAGGOT
An uncle we called Big Bird (tall with damn chicken legs) used to say he'd eat the corn outta her shit when he spotted some fine tush.
UonlyThinkyourDead
Eat that shitter like an apple fritter
TheBrunBrun68
A guy once told my high school girlfriend he'd eat a pop tart out of her ass
LetsTravelTogether
"A guy"
GordoonFreeman
Hehe..
Norinatsu
I had a guy tell me he would drink my bath water.......
humanburger
Haha this is fucking gross, I've said some shit to women before, but this, this right here, is fucking nasty
humanburger
Unless you are crazy hot, then I can see someone desperate saying that lol
Dc5Bullet
Everyone at my job has said that at least once
inasexualway
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
TheCountOfMonteCristo31
'I'd suck a fart out of her ass like a bong hit'
itsatoughshittydingo
What if her head caves in?
gimking
Dead baby joke.
itsatoughshittydingo
Lost me
gimking
What's worse than a dead baby? Sucking on it's nose 'till it's head caves in.
itsatoughshittydingo
Go away. Your creeping me out.
duojet
ItsKillaKev
Cost of doing business
itsatoughshittydingo
Sacrifices have to be made mister.
bsgove
I'm dead.
itsatoughshittydingo
We can rebuild you.
Combatmatt
She must be an air head
itsatoughshittydingo
There in lies the danger
Kemyo
peepinggoldfish
Hahaha curious as to how that pick up line may have worked for him...
SpitefulRed
My bf told me that on the first date
Bengals52
"Girl I'd drag my balls through 100 miles of broken glass to suck the tail pipe of the car that took your panties to the laundry mat."
Thekindofkindlyman
Don't knock it till you've tried it
Transginger
As someone who frequently uses that line-it's about 50/50.
Memgur
Half the time it works every time, I like those odds
BangstickMagnum
So in other words...50% of the time, it works all the time
inasexualway
i am 90% this is a lie in order to trick people into using this line
SpitefulRed
While he never actually sucked a fart, he has done this with a few grapes and some under-ripe blueberries
Transginger
Are you a female? 'Cause I'd suck a fart out of your butthole.
inasexualway
take me
CanadianParadox
One time I farted during sex, then laughed so hard I peed the bed. Sex is fun like that.
Hiboredimdad
Maybe include slip into some adult diapers next time you feel in the mood .
bettercallkatie
It's great when you fart during sex, but then laugh so hard you fart more. It's better if you both find it funny though!
dav3nasty
I think your definition of fun might differ slightly from others.
exguerrero
Nasty
GingerLaird
I like your definition of fun sex!
BananaForScaIe
If you can't both laugh about it then blech.
babybackbbq
You single?
CanadianParadox
Im engaged to the man I farted on.
downofathistle
This literally happened in Geordie Shore - Charlotte: "everyone wees themselves at some poitn in their lives"
NegentropyX
All the things I hate about sex: fart, pee, and sex.
FearTheBeard316
Is that how babays are made? I thot they were "Made in China".................
MedoMedic
Actually a lot of them actually are made in china
FearTheBeard316
TrebuchetLaunchingFeces
Dude what the fuck
BlondieSayWhat
I asked for post-sex mac n cheese before he had even pulled out, the look he gave me made me laugh so hard I queefed him out
slothmanchild
Usernname checks out
thepianosbeendrinking
SagaciousSarah
urustai
I damn near pissed myself that shit was so funny.
becauseurwrong
Fellow asexuals: how do i unread everything associated with this post?
VagisilToothpaste
Sorry, but you can't. Fellow ace here - but I'm not sex-repulsed so this doesn't bother me.
thelonepig
Your posts say otherwise.
mooseboots
You are a product of sex. How does that make you feel?
Zombraina
I thought asexuals were just not interested in sex, not that it's some kind of mind-melting horror to them. :P
VagisilToothpaste
sex-repulsed aces do not, in fact, want ANYTHING to do with sex or speaking of it, etc...
Zombraina
Interesting, I didn't know that! I learned something today.
peepinggoldfish
Haha I do love being able to laugh with him when those things happen. Laughter during sex can be great!
Azerai
Happy sex is best sex
Azerai
But angry sex is good too ... sex is best sex
ILoveWings
Except forced sex... That no good.
Azerai
But Sonic, forced sex is no sex at all!
brickweed
I have to share that like 10 years ago with my g/f we had the most incredible laughter filled sex on shrooms. It was weird and fun. :D
blakeatwork
My wife devolves into giggles during the warm up; fun sex is best sex
Conflict
My ex used to do that but would push me away and get out of the mood. Made me sad
blakeatwork
Aww, that's shitty. Bright side, they're the ex
peepinggoldfish
Agreed!
hermioneemma1
My SO isn't thrilled when I giggle, he takes offence ????
Azerai
Make sure they understand you're tinkling your giggle bells with/regardless of them and not at them, people can be sensitive about that
MundaneFinality
Sorry to hear that. I find laughing things off relieves a lot of the pressure and tension, making the act much more comfortable for both.
RavenousMaw
Fragile ego maybe.
Bassaker
holy shit how serious is he? Even we Imgermans giggle during sex, and then it's back to efficient humping.
TheExGreatShibaBeast
Stop looking his "anaconda" at the same time?
FriedMonkE92
Probably cuz he thinks your giggling at this performance.
hermioneemma1
We have been together for nine years, I have told him that the giggling is due to sensitivity which becomes ticklish.
nevans88
Easy fix, fuck him till he giggles. Maintain eye contact, establish dominance.
iConfirmAnythingAndEverything
My girl facts enough that it's no longer an enigma. It doesn't grow me out per say, I just don't want Pink eye
iConfirmAnythingAndEverything
Farts* time to fix my dictionary on my phone autocorrecting for no reason ffs
anygirlx
All the typos sort of make it funnier. Just go with it.
iguessihaveto
Also gross* :-D
iConfirmAnythingAndEverything
Thank you. Misses that one. (I spelled missed and it changed its to misses.... fuck it)
iConfirmAnythingAndEverything
turned off autoreplace. fixed.
SkyHighInc
Just tell him it's because he was doing such a good job, you lost control. His pride will take care of the rest.
UnseenKingdom
That's fucked up tbh
TheHappyCanadian
be careful though, he might develop a Pavlovian response to your farts in the future
SiriusLeeBlack
This exact thing happened to me and I said the exact thing to my husband, however he's still mortified and won't let me forget it
DaddyFritas
This ^
WuTangoReinhardtUnchained
Friend said " I'd strain her shit through my teeth" at sexpo
peepinggoldfish
He knows! He took it like a champ and isn't mad. I'm just so fucking mortified that it even happened.
MisterDildy
If you want a story to feel better. My last girlfriend I had to give an enema to because she was constipated. Yes I got shit liquid on me.
SkyHighInc
My wife shit on me more than once. By accident, I should add. Trust me, it could have been worse..lol
Therearetoomanyusernames
I feel her pain. I accidently pee'd on my husband all the time.
HookerinaHandbasket
Yeah "by accident" ... It's OK we all have our kinks
SkyHighInc
No, it was totally be accident...lol
Zombraina
Yeah, she's telling you it's an accident, it's okay. You can believe that. c;
peepinggoldfish
WHAT?! How did that happen?!!
SkyHighInc
Drunken anal..lol
peepinggoldfish
Ah... that would do it! That must've been an adventure haha