AMoldyStump
286946
5893
156
May 4, 2017 10:59 PM
AMoldyStump
286946
5893
156
AlisonWallace
stoner head
Nabashin
Relevant https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMGIbOGu8q0
ShadowFeng
I had to swipe back on this one. I thought it was an Xbox controller.
TheDaharMaster
The only crystals I find interesting are Dylithium and Kyber
yuyufan43
My aunt literally suggested this bullshit to me. I have a life threatening disease. Sorry, lady. Keep your rocks, I'm doing real treatment.
giraffediver
This post makes about as much sense as a penny
bigjoemonger
A coworker recently told me they needed days off work to go get magnets surgically implanted. Im like "uhhh, ok"
AMoldyStump
Maybe she has shrapnel from a warhead close to her heart?
HowDidTheyUnderstandR2D2
Well if your Chakras are all shite, you never stood a chance.
kwimvern
With the five head on her she should be able to just use telekinesis
gforce1616
That's like a six head!
tracereading
Someone I give money to spent some of it on cleansing her chakras and internally I'm like BITCH THAT IS FOR FOOD god damn it.
johndoctor10
We....are the Crystal Gems!
JanetVanDyne
We'll always the day.
QueenCousland
And if you think we can't
iguanaa
Better hide that shit from Thanos.
VikingPrincessLaserRaptor
kmikl
amop
how fuckin big is her forehead
MMPRMastodon
Well thanks to the House, this is the best healthcare millions will be able to afford
unavailableyourcallcantgothruasdialed
This made me laugh until I realized I'll be one of these people who can only afford a painted rock. Not even a crystal as healthcare.
UrKungFuNoGood
ACA fucked my insurance. I have no idea what's coming next. What can I do? Nothing. No-thing. It's all a shit sandwich now. (LIUNA member)
reach301
CLODS!!
yesiamawalrusthankyouforasking
They're minerals! Jesus Christ, Marie!
matthdew
The reason they don't work is because they're suppositories
hornsofthebull
Ah! but at least everyone will be able to afford them under trumpcare!
[deleted]
[deleted]
hornsofthebull
Fascinating. Thanks!
southerstar
I just got stoned and my forehead isnt that big, im jealous.
AMoldyStump
Not stoned enough
eduardoluizsoaresoliveira7
Like Steve Jobs
No1KnuckleHeadNinjaOfTheLeaf
Pretty sure one of those is a damage counter from Pokémon
Cineybuns
I buy crystals because I really love pretty rocks.
Sauroctonus
That's an understandable explanation.
Cineybuns
I feel like trash when I buy them but I can't help it because they're pretty.
natabus
Which is why New Age-ery pisses me off. It makes the rocks I like prohibitively expensive.
Cineybuns
Yeah I went to a gem and mineral show and it was ridiculously expensive compared to what it used to be. It was disappointing.
Neoqueto
I misread rocks as cocks.
Cineybuns
well....you would also be correct.
lostnortherner
Jesus Christ Marie, they're minerals!
blir
was looking for this comment
JanetVanDyne
Me too. My mom is into healing shit so I tell her "Yes rose quartz are for healing and love." She's gullible.
Cineybuns
My coworkers are like that. They buy into so much snake-oil like fads it's ridiculous but also a prime opportunity to make some bank.
IAlwaysUpvoteBirdies
Me too. I just want to collect minerals. I think they're cool as hell.
Cineybuns
Same! I'm really into collecting them. Especially ones carved into elephants. I've got a cute little collection going now.
yummmmm
Get to work crystals we need you now more than ever http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-healing-herbal-teas-will-have-do-some-heavy-fuck-5346
The1WhoMemes
AMoldyStump
Love clickhole
yummmmm
prolly my favorite site on the internet
bigbrother
I would like to 'do some heavy fuck'.
bardock
https://68.media.tumblr.com/ba6330a70db4117a25bbbac3c1bb7724/tumblr_ndhoq1MwTk1r48bg7o1_500.jpg
justasmallgiraffe
I study medicine and I know this stuff doesn't work but I do like the meanings behind stones like rose quartz for lovers or others for 1/2
justasmallgiraffe
Strength for example. Although things like this don't do shit I can appreciate their meanings 2/2
yeanahyeah
People die even if the rocks work. Especially if you are in Saudi Arabia.
iilloovveeiimmgguurr
My grandpa was given hours to live. But my crazy aunt used some crystal and waved it over him forever.. And he lived for another 3 years lol
IbitDalv
This joke was ...a straight headshot
SAlmuhandis
then you gonna love meth LOL.
Cicirawr
MisterWho
The secret cure-all that doctors don't want you to know about.
Nivesnow
...where do we gofrom here?
ZeRootOfAllEvil
To be fair, it's the only country to legally promote stoners.
iamthisguy247
Some people are just dying to get stoned.
AMoldyStump
idostufftooxo
Hahaha I bet they call them healing crystals too
Rifneno
So dark that an American cop shot it and planted a gun next to it.
raidleadergutts
Lol you triggered the cop apologist filth who force themselves to believe cops would never do such a thing. +1 for all its worth.
uhhhnowwhat
Huh?
raidleadergutts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BW5rXN9c67M
TheHellbilly
A dark joke indeed. So dark it became a refugee.
theloneponderer
A joke so dark the Clintons are patronizing it.
hashtagKKas
A joke so dark it had to smile so you could see the punchline.
governmentgavemeagun
A joke so dark American cops shot it then put a gun next to it
CairoLen
If that's what she needs to do to trick her body into feeling better (I.e. Her choice of placebo) then what's the harm?
Pulseless
The harm comes into play when you realize there is an entire market built around selling snake oil to desperate people.
CptnRayHolt
many proponents of alternative medicine exploit their clients fears of hospitals/doctors and encourage them not to take lifesaving medicine
ByDownvotingMeYoureAgreeingThatYoureWrong
Used to know a chick that would rail against all religion as superstitious nonsense but would bathe with a rib bone and sleep with a crystal
KeeleonOhms
Sounds more like shes trying to turn herself into soup.
ByDownvotingMeYoureAgreeingThatYoureWrong
She was, without exaggeration, one of the most volatile and dangerously unstable people I've ever known in my life
QueenCousland
What was the logic behind the rib bone?
ByDownvotingMeYoureAgreeingThatYoureWrong
I forget the exact explanation (this was 8+ years ago) but it was something along the lines of it having "healing powers"
QueenCousland
And here I am eating the meat off of them and then throwing them away like a chump.
RiverBear
I will be very nice & humor people who tell me certain crystals will change your mood & your aura, but I think they are all doofuses.
Affray
"If you say so" has become a very common phrase in my life because of this. I'm a super critical person but I also like having friends.
Dragas
Friends are overrated. We are the only ones you need.
Showmeyourotters
Well it's a placebo though isn't it? Like, there's probably no science behind it but if you think this little rock's gonna make you happy
Showmeyourotters
then that little rock's gonna make you happy. Won't make me happy but still
tentaclefriendly
crystals can change my mood. for instance, getting stoned off my tits and gazing into an opal for an hour, very uplifting. Not Medicine tho
KeeleonOhms
My wife tries to convince me that diamonds will cure her depression.
ExtremeAndViolentButtFun
I've tried the healing crystal thing once. I found the slight weight of the crystals to be kind of therapeutic.
JanetVanDyne
My mom gives me quartz and copper to "protect me". I use them as decoration.
CarbonMantis
If you eat enough cinnabar your mood will probably change.
SuperBobKing
If you put it up your butt there will probably be an effect.
CakeBakeMaker
I mean looking at pretty rocks will probably change your mood. So they are technically correct. The best kind of correct.
Cere4l
looking at fishes apparantly calmes you. so why not i guess...
QueenCousland
Crystals change my mood. I think they're pretty, and I'm happier when I look at pretty things.
ilovemyboobs
Hey, even if its the placebo effect, if they really are happier when using the stones, it works does it not?
Lots43
But the STONES aren't doing anything.
RiverBear
I mean I don't have a problem with it, whatever gets you through the day, just some are goofier than others.
MeisterKleister
Problem is that same kind of thinking could also lead them to send a lot of money to that Nigerian prince and similar scams.
ShamnusMcfee
Doesn't mean it isn't doofy
commanderbrainbox
It's literally my job to tell people which crystals will heal certain things. I'm not even sure i believe in it, but i do know that it 1/2
commanderbrainbox
Does help the people that do believe. It's a placebo but a Damn good one and if it's helping people cope with things in their life, I'm in.
avervetmonkey
If it's as a talisman or focus for their positive thinking, it's super. If it is something they use to avoid necessary medicine, it's bad.
commanderbrainbox
Yeah. There are some sources that suggest using them in like... Cancer situations but I'll never recommend gemstones for that sorry of thing
avervetmonkey
I'm 100% ok with cancer patients using it ALONGSIDE legit cancer medicine, because any decrease in stress is a big immune system advantage.
Deadbabymammal
Well magnets and chemicals can alter the electricity and chemicals going through your body. But yeah normal dumb colorful rocks are useless
AMoldyStump
Magnets are not strong enough to do squat you wasted money on that QRay bracelet
schwiftyschwa
Um but science? https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/brain-stimulation-therapies/brain-stimulation-therapies.shtml
schwiftyschwa
Damn imgur please take 2s to Google "Brain magnets" before dogpiling people. Check yo biases.
Deadbabymammal
I havent bought that bracelet as thats probably too weak, its called TMS and neuroscientists have done studies and used it
Affray
TMS is used clinically to measure activity and function of specific brain circuits as a diagnosis tool, not a full body magic wand.
joeyjojosharknado
How do you know if your chi is misaligned unless you do a regular full body degaussing?
Deadbabymammal
TMS has also been used to alter brain function, if even slightly, and my claims were never pro healing rocks and magnet as you think they're
commanderbrainbox
I sell these for a living. Some of the shit I've seen, I'll never forget. Women put these in their vaginas.
squirrelfury
How else are they supposed to something something the flora?
CarbonMantis
A shop I frequented had a dude come in and ask for a long polished quartz crystal. "No not that one, do you have one with smoothed edges?"
CarbonMantis
Acted all sweaty-like and it quickly became really obvious what he was wanting to using it for. "Abdominal brain stimulation" . . .
KingDizi
Same. I had a customer tell me he ate a chunk of moldavite once and wasn't sure why it made him sick.
avervetmonkey
Picture for those curious, like me: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ec/Moldavite_Besednice.jpg
MagicalScientist
That shit looks like it would shred your stomach.
commanderbrainbox
I remember having to shield a customer behind my desk because her yoni egg slipped out...
steam1218
did she put it back?
Gayforbae
Is that like a butt plug?
commanderbrainbox
Yeah, but in the front butt.