DickGelato
406743
8210
172
Terrifying experience
We can wait no longer
15 year olds now.
ImDeadSirius
#3 nearly killed me. was drinking water and chocked. I was literally dying at that post
Tillia
h2omosexuals... omffg...
TheyCallMeMrPigeonCuzImJustSoCoo
Haha green is not a creative color.
cyno01
#16 comes from the middle ages when only midgets were allowed to have orgasms. Its true, read the Bible!
MrBananaBeak
Fun fact: that's a Banyan tree. They can grow to be miles wide because those little dangling things are roots that grow down to the ground.
CoRelli
that tree looks full of nopes :(
MrBananaBeak
The ones in Hawaii are usually fine :) except during the rainy season. Cockroaches. Everywhere.
TailBiter
"Come on Tiffany. Let's die a little."
drmomster
Don't kermits suicide..... I need it
IsayiLoveYouaLot
Still giggling at that one.
igniteflo
Yes to the top one. I just stuff the change in my pocket in panic and shuffle away.
petitepoire
I'm so glad I'm not alone :)
SnowMongoose
First one doesn't apply to Canadians, they don't give a damn if you're waiting. Not sorry, eh?
MarijuannaMakesYouGay
homer's lookin at flanders like "nigga cut it out with the weird shit"
Narushima
"La petite mort" is one of those expressions only foreigners actually use.
urhedsonfire
THEN THEY WENT INTO THE VAN AND I WAS LIKE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THEN I SAW EPISODE THREE AND THERE WERE THREE OF THESE NIGGAS MAN
urhedsonfire
AND COCO WAS HIS NAME
Epicnightmare65
I just stuff my change in my pocket and get out of there as fast as I can
iliveforfootball
In regards to the first one/getting change back thing, just put it in your pocket and when you get back to your car put it in your wallet..
PricessFred
that would be lovely if I didn't have tiny woman pockets that already had other things in them
iliveforfootball
Yeah I feel bad for women in that regard. I dunno what I'd do without my baggy pockets, lol.
DepravedSoul
I will never order anything from amazon again... THANKS OBAMA!
hellobbq
tokomak
It's amazon.co.jp though, so I'm not sure how this wasn't expected.
sirpipthegreat
Agreed. I'll only order from smile.amazon.com from now on.
DepravedSoul
Well played sir/madam.
itwasadarkandstormynight
Nothing rustles my jimmies like complications at the cash register with someone behind me
IsayiLoveYouaLot
As a cashier with ALL of the little old ladies at my counter. Please hurry. I am trying to be patient but the ass hats behind you arent.
NowDoThatVoodooThatYouDo
Funny story, medieval tradition held that semen was life force, so an orgasm was actually dying a bit.
WoahShocksMyBrain
Cool.
redshadow1000
no wonder I feel a little empty every time I dump a load on OP's mom
twicemonkey
"You might need to alow down"
poodiggah
Surprised you've made the only comment about this...
IsayiLoveYouaLot
I was confused for a solid minute
ImaBearEtCetera
Never even noticed it, I just read it as "slow". THE HUMAN BRAIN IS SO AMAZING
annAtations
thanks for making these so i don't have to venture into the unknown terrors of tumblr.
revcleo
things are less scary once you go there
badadvice
Has anyone figured out what the sink wants yet?
Magpiebones
It wants in only to ask let out again. But then it'll just stand in the open doorway.
QuadrilateralEnix
in. He wants in
badadvice
This is a real hot and cold issue.
Momof2needsabreak
He wants to drain the life out of you.
badadvice
I guess that is the only way to rinse myself of sin.
DevinNatTyv
Seriously, would someone just let that fucking sink in already? He's just squeaking and banging at the door.
EchoOfSnac
MFW nobody will let that sink in:
Turbogoat
You have to, if you didn't open the door he'd just faucet.
SoThatsWhere
Heck no. That facet is running for a reason, and I have no desire to let a criminal make a basin my home.
DustyKat
Is it bad I didn't realize that joke until I read your comment?
kaykicing
FSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-Sink, probably
lindltailor
And now. The weather.
EnergyFiend
I know, he's in every single one of these Tumblr posts lately!
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
I didn't understand that one until I read your comment. ILY (no homo)
Bricklemeyer
I let a sink in once back in '96. Still hasn't left. Fuckers using all my water and monopolizing all my extra space. Learn from my mistake.
CatWithHands
I know what you're basin this off of. A drain on your resources.
whenimgurlimitsyourusernameto63charactersandyouhavetopausemidse
Water
MatrimBloodyCauthon
Thank u for ur contribution
ThinkingOfAUsernameIsTooMuchPressure
Trees
Quizz25S
God damnit you beat me to it. +1.
Aamu
Groot.
doubleponytogo
Thank you for your contribution
Q269
#10 - Why is homer's ear so low? Where did Flander's nose go? Why are his pupils now single lines? Why is his tie the same as his shirt?
AVerySexualMidget
THANK YOU
ManWithFace
A game of "got your nose" got way out of hand.
TheTriangleGuy
"Why is homer's ear so low?" Maybe he's related to Mr. Crocker?
[deleted]
[deleted]
TheTriangleGuy
"Cricket"
Q269
I think that's a flipper...
bghvgjdh
I must not orgasm. Orgasm is the little death that brings total obliteration.
peachsnapple
I will face my orgasm, I will permit it to pass over me and through me
3DSarge
This was exactly what I thought of when I read that.
WolfgangDeLinks
+1 for Dune reference
ManLegit
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
KazadAiMenu
Actually it refers to the feeling as if you gonna faint after an orgasm when the body relaxes, fainting being compared to a "little" death.
bghvgjdh
http://dune.wikia.com/wiki/Litany_Against_Fear
LadyArwen
Does anyone remember that phrase in Bride of Chucky?
MyKinkIsAProline
Guys?
Krypticon
I'll just wait for you to let that sink in...
KawaiiPotatoGirl
The fuck does he want?
HammerMechanic
In...
dyural
no, we do not want to talk about your lord ... eer... Poseidon?
ogThrax
Maybe Mario...
kingofshitafuckmountain
fuck ill take kirby at this point
ian2stutz
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=re61B8sKQWk
Kude
please don't let there be javert... please god
HammerMechanic
http://imgur.com/jnjJBQE
evillar
GOD DAMNIT.
HammerMechanic
You had to know that was going to happen.
evillar
I did. But I fully expected him to be in the doorway, and peek out. So it took me way too long to see it.
luciferincarnated
That sewing supplies one though...
Darksideofuranus
Something somewhere maybe on tv started this.I never had them biscuits yet have them as a sewing supplybox in my parents house.
Warranty
I use mine for assorted buttons AND sewing supplies. They cheap for tin and needles can't poke through.
yournudesarewelcomedinmyinbox
am i the only one with a grandma that filled hers with tools and nails and all that jazz
puppiesincostumes
And it's all over the world!
astropapi1
I thought it was a latin american thing. I'm from Colombia and we have two of them. How did this trend even start?
puppiesincostumes
dunno, I always thought my granma was the first and I'm sure, she never left Germany (at least not for Colombia :D )
astropapi1
I wonder how this got started...
suitupswarley
Had a box of those cookies on my desk at school. One of my students asked if I ripped my clothes.
BorderlineBoozehound
My grandma had one too. It wasn't filled with sewing supplies. It was filled with weed, a grinder and a few pipes. I thought it was tobacco.
Darksideofuranus
Trade grannys ? Yours sounds like fun.
SomebodyStoleMyCarRadio
Can I adopt your grandma?
Admiralakbar1
I used one for Legos. It may or may not have sewing supplies now, though.
FbManFA
I was actually talking to my dad about that tumbler post earlier today because I had already seen it, AND NOW I SEE IT AGAIN TODAY??
FbManFA
TOO MANY COINCIDENCES FOR ONE MAN
dyural
I have a metal can, albeit smaller than the 1 on the pic, filled with trheads and needles. I'm a grown man and I live alone. It's our genes!
abgsiddiq
Im from Malaysia. Same thing here.
AIIOOOCAPTAINJACK
I live in Ireland, my nan has that exact tin with her sewing supplies
Mediterraneanliamneeson
Same!
stupidnickname
germany here, can confirm
salliferrr
Grandma from China, SAME
spinosaurus7
My Mum does too, and she's from South Africa!
AlexiC95
I use on of those tins for sewing stuff but I also have one on the coffee table full of biscuits
kittiesarefuckingadorable
they do it in Norway too
Contra3IsTheHardestGameEver
In Brazil my grandma had that when i was a kid decades ago.
tehnubperson
My mom is the same, and shes from India.
LetsSeeHowThisGoes
Man that first one is so true. I mean I already got to grab these bags now you want me to put this money back in my pocket?
TMWMarijke
That little panic as you try to juggle everything like an octopus on speed while trying to hide your face sweat, smiling, and looking calm.
YourDailyKayli
It should be up to the cashier to make polite small talk until you have yourself organized. That's what customer service is all about.
Imgonnatipyouwell
Ever been to a little store called quick trip? Cashiers so fast they have you rung up before you've set everything down. So much pressure
Sauroctonus
Self service tills make this a little better. Since it cuts out at least one human from the equation!
HarryDresdenIsMySpiritAnimal
I just politely try and organize my money for a second. Then I start crying, scream at the top of my lungs, wad my money up and run.
ITryToOnlyRespondInGifs
Or why do they always put the loose change ON TOP of the paper money? That shit's going everywhere, sliding off as u try to make a fist.
anglophilestymie
YES!! When I was cashier I made sure to give the change back first, then bills. Hopefully I made the process a little bit less stressful.
ITryToOnlyRespondInGifs
I did that too. I'd like to think we made a difference
sheriwallace123
Nice things about purses: I just shove the money and receipt into my purse and then sort through it all later.
royandmossladyproblems
"later" - 4 years later, I'm lugging around $2715 in change, and 14 pounds of grocery receipts in my purse.
sheriwallace123
Holy shit! Wow
ITryToOnlyRespondInGifs
Add a pack of unwrapped gum to that change and that's my purse
adamran
Harry Potter and The Curse of Peaking In High School.
LatchHookRug
Imagine all the students in the year below Harry. I'd be afraid to go to back for 7th year. "WHAT TERRIBLE SHIT WILL HAPPEN THIS YEAR?"
Durzaka
jusy saying, Harry went on to be the youngest Head of Auror Office in history.
jmartkdr
Harry Potter and the Scathing Indictment of the Tenure System in Public Education.
Durzaka
jusy saying, Harry went on to be the youngest Head of Auror Office in history. no one peaked early in Harry Potter.
Anononononon
That isn't what Ginny says.
bghvgjdh
George did.
Durzaka
He had already graduated. your low blow is incorrect. He peaked just after high school.
kraziekandy
You motherfucker.
HoneyDick
Fred is the dead one, you peasant!
ravenclawesome
Thank you. I'm so angry right now
TheLordLucifersBannedAccount02
Hahaha, fuck you.
bghvgjdh
Dark enough it got to the devil? I can dig it.
alatar144
Too soon.
bghvgjdh
It's been 7 years...
pappycat
Technically the last HP was set in 1997 so it's been 17 years.
Exodeas
People still aren't over lion king... so, still too soon.
YourWaifuIsTrash
TOO SOON