A Spaniard teaching in the US for a year. The funny stories.

"American numbers"

Only one person said this, but I thought it was really endearing. When I said that the numbers we use are actually called "Arabic numerals" I saw faces of intense displeasure, so I decided not to say "arabic" in public again.

Evolution

If I had known, I would have shut up, but I couldn't imagine there were creationists around. But there were in the South. I didn't mention that I had learned about evolution and big bang theory and all that from Catholic priests for fear of causing someone a short circuit. Don't feel bad, a recent poll in my country showed that some people believe humans and dinosaurs coexisted. "The Flintstones effect" they call it. Some of the best evolutionary scientist work in the US, so I guess that cancels out.

Real money

Again with the ten euro note. Apart from people calling it "euro-dollars" the real money thing was also really interesting. Of course people knew about the existence of Euros and all that, but someone said "real money"
Something my grandmother might say about any foreign currency, by the way.

Ye Olde Spaniards

Yes, some presence in American history up until 1776, with the Spanish Army fighting alongside with the revolutionaries and the French (to piss off the British, mainly) but suddenly they "disappeared" from history. Like actors. When they leave TV and do Broadway it's like Earth swallowed them. I felt like a Phoenician or a Babylonian when people said that.

Anti Vaxxers

This one caught my wife and I by surprise. Again. Before I saw this in Imgur, years later, I didn't know that there was an anti vaccination movement. We stood there in embarrassed silence while people argued angrily. We apologised to the hostess for spoiling her dinner party. Luckily the argument died out, but there was some tension afterwards. Learned to avoid that topic too.

Geography

I'll give you that. Knowing the position of Spain on a map is not an important piece of information to have in the US, as my country is no longer that relevant (sniff!!!) Some people knew everything about Spain and asked very insightful questions. Some assumed it was somewhere around Mexico. My students in Spain have trouble locating some Asian countries and they assume everything there is China, so don't worry.

Learning about food

*AND
As we speak the same language as in Mexico, people asked us all kinds of things about Mexican food. I am really thankful for people who asked this, as it was a great opportunity to make wonderful Mexican friends and learn about their culture and food.

The Lisp Hoax

Imagine an Eastern European guy telling Americans that they speak with a lisp because they pronounce "The thing in the thumb" and not "ze zing in ze zumb" In Spain, the Z sounds like a TH and CI and CE also sound like a TH. But not the S. That's all. No lisp, no retarded kings, nothing. We pronounce the S sound like everyone else. (except in some regions blah blah) But the idea of the lisp is deeply ingrained in fellow Spanish speakers until they realize "ce" and "se" are not necessarily homophones. People were puzzled we pronounced number 5 "thinko" and then 6 "seh- is". I guess the process is surprising and someone needed to make up an "origin story" to explain it. Look it up if you don't believe me. I mention this not because it is funny or surprising, just to warn other Spaniards that outside Spain "proper pronunciation" (kidding, there is no correct or incorrect, just local variations) is considered a lisp.

Races

In Spain, which is "composite of Mediterranean and Nordic types" according to the the CIA factbook
https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/sp.html
We don't really see race, we just say that Paco tans very easily, but that's it. It wouldn't constitute a racial thing...... I am sure this will generate controversy, I am just talking about my experience. We have horridly racist people here, specially against gypsies and Arabs. (Moors would be the term they would use) but in Spain a really tan person and a ginger would be equally Spanish. This was surprising, but I could understand what people meant.

Amish Spain

Yup, the country was messed up in the forties, right after the war. But it got to be kinda modernish (Ish, sometimes I feel like murdering the IT guy at school here) It was interesting that the person I had been emailing and skyping with had to ask that. Old prejudices die hard, I guess.

You slaughterers

As you can imagine, a Spanish teacher makes friend with other Spanish teachers in the area. I made wonderful friends from all over the Americas and we learned about how we say things in different countries. I admired the Costa Rican beautiful accent, the richness of the Mexican vocabulary, the linguistic accuracy of our Uruguayan counterparts and more. But this guy was outright hostile to me since before I said "Hola" "Your ancestors raped and pillaged mine five hundred years ago!". Well, we have read different historians, let me recommend you.... He got aggressive and my friend did a very swift change of conversation. Later I learned that his name was Cortés. He had a magnificent beard, and the Mayans he claimed to descend from are not that hairy. That was a bit weird.

Assuming things

Part of my job was to help out kids who had just immigrated adapt to school. This teacher tested a ninth grader and decided he knew no basic maths. All the questions were formulated in terms of coins. I mentioned -respectfully- to the teacher that I had no idea what a dime or a nickel was before I went to the US. And that the rest of the world uses the metric system, so the idea that there are 12 inches to a foot was also news to me. She was wonderful and re-tested the kid without assuming knowledge that is totally alien outside the US and he aced it.

Time to go

My wife and I had a wonderful time getting to know the US first hand. And even though my country has a raging unemployment problem and financial troubles, we had secure jobs and a reasonable pay in Spain. We decided to go back even though it would mean to say good bye to so many great American friends. People were very surprised about the fact that despite having a green card, we would go back to Europe.

Oh, yes, the bulls

Despite the fact that they have been trying to ban the "art" for more than 700 years, it refuses to go away. I really hope it will die out in a generation or two. Most people I know in Spain are against "bullfights", but some of my American friends are avid supporters to my chagrin.
A couple of facts: It is not called a bullfight in Spanish, if it was a fight, the fighter would be a burly guy in armour with a proper sword, not a Liberace impersonator armed with a knitting needle. It is a brutal representation "of the dance between life and death". I call it a protracted execution.
No, there are no scores, the bull always dies, as the restaurants are waiting for it. The bull exits through a slaughterhouse processing room. I am no vegetarian, but I do my part every year to contribute to the ban of this "art". ( I keep saying "art" because sports newspapers or programs don't cover it, it is in the arts section between ballet and the sculpture shows) Sad issue, sad issue.

Don't have another foreigner

We got pregnant and decided to leave the US for good. We didn't have good insurance, and everything was free in Spain and post baby benefits much better, so we had to make the painful decision of leaving behind wonderful friends and experiences and go home. Many people were really surprised and thought we were crazy because we were throwing our daughter's life away by not making her an American Citizen.