prosthetichipster06
560700
14960
279
Apr 13, 2015 5:57 PM
prosthetichipster06
560700
14960
279
CatSnakePlissken
The closest homologue of apple juice really would be semen so I mean. It's not so much cannibalism as it is bukkake.
raggster
"Go the fuck to sleep" pretty much sums it up.
itsahollyday2
Surprise, Oedipus
gabers
Thank you. I'm in the middle of a paper. I needed this post to get me through the rest.
BlaiseWorks
Im sure groping would get awkward with the nooooooo's
canonfox11
ᶰᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ
SittinSamTheSaychetMan
Let's debunk that Medusa thing. I think only her head hair are snakes. After all, the vellus hairs on her arms and whatnot aren't, so...
GreatDeciever
So the carpet doesn't match the drapes?
SittinSamTheSaychetMan
I'm guessing not. I'm hoping not.
WrongUn
26 different letters? you've clearly never read a Russian book! Neither have I but the point remains...
Mergul
33 letters, in that case.
chrisjfinlay
There's also numbers, punctuation, whitespace and special characters
WrongUn
we dont cry in onions' presence, only when we cut them so the chances are we used to have romantic affairs with the sexy veggies
SAWhowhatnow
Anything's a dildo if you shove it up your ass as hard as you can! ... wait I fucked it up shit
spaceadventure
i actually lol'd +1
MissSpaceFace
+1 for sexy veggies
Pigthedog
As a female, I've wanted to be a father for a long, long time.
6footdildo
yep. not looking forward to splitting perineum.
twominutesforhighsticking
I hear that.
paul289
#2: "You missed our anniversary for the 5th year in a row, but it's OK because you sound funny when you breathe helium!"
iamstreetsahead
*Breathes helium* "ʰᵃᶦᶫ ʰʸᵈʳᵃ"
Marrgo
While reading this I accidentally shouted "YES!" out loud.
Buretsu
Watering an apple tree with apple juice isn't cannibalism.. it's more like feeding someone their own ejaculate with the sperm removed.
spaceadventure
fun for the whole family
mingotheflamingo
Why doesn't Oedipus use foul language? Because he kisses his mother with that mouth.
beejabah
Oedipus...
teijiamano
Oedipus rekt.
joannasaurusrex
I watched wreck it Ralph yesterday and did wonder why that didn't happen
fistsofpassiveaggression
because she wasn't broken i think was kinda the point her glitch is more what makes her unique
Rogahar
I'm gonna take a stab in the dark and say that because Turbo messed with her code, Felix's 'fix' wouldn't work on her in that way.
TastyBrainMeats
But we'll never know
RustyLongshanks
It would be an interesting plot point for them to incorporate into a sequel, should they ever make one.
Ultramarine486
I always thought her glitching was her individual character ability and it didn't work right when she was removed from the game programming.
LordChappers
I was waiting for him to do it the minute she first glitched.
SnakeskinJacket
Medical marinara is just a gateway to hard cheesy bread.
GetBlazedSon
Damn. Time to go get cheesed!
NaadiyaJ
Lol
YoureALizardHarry96
You could make medical marinara by just adding canibutter to it
canadianpancakes
These are drugs I would happily put into my body
Goodnewwseveryone
Hard cheesy bread? Like stale? I'm out, bro. Too hard for me
delaneige
These are foods that I'm probably going to go put in my body right now bc they're fucking delicious.
Tuskora
Oh my God, what I wouldn't give for some garlic breadsticks right now
adambomb789
Next thing you know you're mincing garlic with a credit card and snorting it off a hooker's ass
AzaellexTytalus
I can stop any time I want.
aerodynamit3
Then you get lazy and start cutting it with flour you used for your dough. Boom, garlic bread everywhere
nyxicus
26 or 29 in my case.
rcistl
https://youtu.be/f488uJAQgmw
Therearetoomanyusernames
I think this may be the best collection of these ever. +1
VetVed
I respectfully disagree. Too many bad or uninteresting ones.
Therearetoomanyusernames
Then we can agree to disagree? I lol'd to this one more than any other.
inked78
The helium balloon idea might help the peace process in the Middle East
franhound
26 letters? Your whole computer is run by 2 digits.
ThePeasantAtTheDiner
26 letters... Unless you happen to be Chinese. In which case every book is a different combination of some 60,000+ characters. >.>
opikal
I could go for some medical marinara
thegriffin88
Mozzarella sticks for life! Wooooooooo!
canonfox11
ᶰᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ
Omny
Fix-It Felix's hammer doesn't work on glitches- when other stuff broke, they were merely following their programming: "If it's not broken>>
Omny
>>and gets hit with [damaging object], go from Status: FIXED to Status: BROKEN", or something like that (I'm not a programmer). Vanellope>>
Omny
>>had her very code damaged- if she had a torn shirt or a broken leg he could fix it, because her body is programmed to become a "damaged">>
Omny
>>state if she interacts with something destructive. But it can't fix broken code any more than a tourniquet can heal radiation poisoning.
zigbigidorlu
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought this.
RoRoCraziness
Thank you. The fix ability follows programming. What Turbo did was completely unnatural and virus-like, outside of the typical programming.
cheetosarelife
Also, as a German, very proud of the food fact
Salpinus
In English you could say: We're feeding the (subject) food" But I agree German is more rad. Except your grammar. That stinks. Big time.
Elvirana
Gingen Süßen Kuchen Essen ([we] went to eat sweet cake) - all places in Germany.
kal1442
Essen is the plural of Esse which is an old word for chimney. Essen was named after their roofline full of chimneys.
RustyStarr
Über alles!
Potz4prez
Lies. Germans aren't allowed to feel pride.
octo8
Really, it should be more like we eat our eat, instead of fooding our food.
turtey
I'm a German for the next two weeks!
StillbornGod
In the Netherlands you can as well! "Je eten eten in Eethen", all pronounced the same (ay-tun)
Tigergurke
I actually live in Essen, whooo \o/
Thereisnogoodnameleftanyway
Oh my god, I live in Essen too!
Tigergurke
:D
flattoppancake
You say that like it's a good thing.
Tigergurke
Why wouldn't it be a good thing? It's not the prettiest city, but it's okay. (and I get overly excited sometimes... especially when tired^^)
PianoMan2112
So you have Hamburg, Frankfurt, and now Food. Any more we're missing?
Hessianvet
Gießen (watering)
sneVis
Darmstadt (intestine city)
cheetosarelife
Hodenhagen - Hoden means balls (yes the pervert one)
AmArschdieRaeuber
Testicels to be exact
OptimisticOlivia
#14 I thought I was alone about the having kids situations
StingLikeAJelly
there's always surrogate mother.
Therearetoomanyusernames
I was thinking the same exact thing.
TheSisko
As someone who has given birth, pregnancy is the worst. I wish I could have been a dad instead of a mom.
Therearetoomanyusernames
Ditto!!
viospider
can confirm, being a dad is fucking awesome.
Therearetoomanyusernames
As a mother, you suck. It's not nice to brag.
viospider
My wife hates it also. I do feel bad of course. Well, a little. Being a mother has some special advantages too though. :)
Therearetoomanyusernames
Like??? Stretch marks, weight gain, mood swings, labor pains, birthing, breast feeding pain...?? Stop me when you find one you like. lol 1/2
Therearetoomanyusernames
2/2 I can't lie, breast feeding gone right is nice. There's no bonding like that. Otherwise, it all sucked. I was nauseous 9 months.
viospider
I think it's the bond with the children that I'm most jealous (envious?) about. Try as I might, mommy seems to have better rep. :)
viospider
and trust me when I say that dad suffers when mom has mood swings, weight gain and stretch marks too! ;)
OneOfUsOneOfUsOneOfUsOneOfUsOneOfUs
I don't see what the problem would be wit *Ah Choo* Ua tsaug rau wasting 10 vib nas this ntawm koj lub neej Txhais
JacobSighs
Well it wouldn't be a problemt if AH CHOO ty jusz wiedzialesz ta jezyk.
ThatRussian
Hey guys am I late to the party ACHOO я не понимаю что я говорю... Какой это язык??
prosthetichipster06
Damn you.
NaadiyaJ
Lol I was gonna say the same thing lol
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
Lol me too lol
themachinethatgoesPING
lol
Myusernamewillnevereverberelevantever
Lol me three lol
thegriffin88
Foreign Accent Syndrome. Look it up, I got a friend with it. She's 4th gen US but has a FR accent.
thepersonwhostaresatyouthroughyourwebcamwhenyouthinkitsoff
I don't think that would work, I mean how *Ah Choo* kan du inte veta att du *Ah Choo* eine andere Sprache sprechen
KankerFrog
jag vet din sanna identitet, talkingzeebrazomg.
Mergul
Aš nežinau, ką aš čia darau, bet *AČČČČПЧХИ" Так лучше, хотя все равно никто ничего не понял. *АППППЧЧЧCHHHO* Oh, here. Got it!
dervasavred
He waits in the deep dark...
MyDogJake
I love/hate you.
whatchacallit
I've seen a short film like this, only the guy gets smoked in the head with a frying pan and start speaking Welsh or something.
themoonmadeofbarbequesparerib
Simlish isn't a real language!
MaegorTheCruel
With my sister we do speak simlish to each other, my parents already gave up on us before even The Sims.
MrsCapAmerica98
I often have to remind myself of that when I'm singing simlish songs and saying "Sul sul" and "dag dag".
esidiae
You know you've played Sims for too long when you understand exactly which Simlish words are which and when they're used.
FaxCelestis
BLAMMA JAMMA! KABLEE!
MaxxiDotPad
Da sun goes kee kah kuh wee uh, zuh-zuh-zuh-zah.
adebisislittlehat
Ah sul sul!
ireya
Oui, je suis d'accord. Je ne sais *ACHOO*...huh suddenly I feel less...surrender-ey.
thegriffin88
Ahaaaaaaa! iunderstoodthatreference.gif
ireya
:D
reflectedsoundofundergroundspirits
*le ACHOO*
ireya
À tes souhaits ;)
reflectedsoundofundergroundspirits
Merci.
MyDogJake
"Fortunately I speak fluent Hmong" - No one ever
reflectedsoundofundergroundspirits
What....what is hmong? Where does it hail from?
MyDogJake
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hmong_people
reflectedsoundofundergroundspirits
That's exactly where I went to last night after I asked.
user2639
I do
thegriffin88
Not even Google! Wth?
iscream4rice
Hey I'm Hmong! Whoa! Hmong on imgur!
slylee
YES MORE HMONG PEOPLE :D #UNITE
user2639
Ha! Finally!
raspymorten
Jeg ved ikke hvad der sk- *ACHOO* What's happening here
cheetosarelife
The "Super-High-As-Fuck-Section" of tumblr, I see..
Rockellezay
Wait isn't that every section?
idontwannayoucantmakeme
The "higher than giraffe pussy" side of Tumblr
nesurame
I always thought that it was weird that some people think anyone who thinks creatively or different than you are on drugs.
thatchrisprattissohot
AKA nightblogging. Or at least that's what it used to be called.
Goodnewwseveryone
You literally have described this much too perfectly
xcloud18
I just hate when people say it's the most accurate thing they've ever read.I mean seriously wtf do they read all the time?
hiperson134
2+2=4. Is this the most accurate thing you've ever read?
xcloud18
I get what you're saying, But i don't count math equations as reading. Also you know what I meant by my comment so chill.
zackofspades
Also the German Pride section.
TheSadMummy
German pride....Ive read about that somewhere ebfore
WeUsedToRuleTheWorldYouKnow
Admiralakbar1
"DO SHEEP'S BOWEL MOVEMENTS CAUSE EARTHQUAKES?" So it was the Daily Mail reporting.
eyedontlie
You mean, kids pretending to be high part of tumblr
ManOfMuffin
Which is different from the rest of tumblr how?...
anglophilestymie
I like a lot of porn on tumblr. And Tom Hiddleston gifs. Which can also be porn. So...not high, just horny!
FreelanceSpermDonor
But Medusa-pubes... That's just spectabulous.
BambiSkater
Would she not just spend all her time getting off? Who needs men when you have a nest of snakes down there?
Shroomslapz
That one was my favorite as well. I'm glad we get the "best of" posts. I don't think I want a tumblr.
Whydopeoplekeepcallingmethat
I've seen an artist depiction with snake-pubes...
aSwankyLemon
well on on then share it with us
Whydopeoplekeepcallingmethat
If I could remember where I saw it I would have linked the pic.
aSwankyLemon
oh :( im wasting time btw i have an essay due tomorrow for my pre ap english class on romeo and juliet and as you can tell its not being dun
BackwoodsBossMan
#9
v
Compendyum
"dafuq was dat?!"
Thefacts
What you did there. I see it.
TE2NC
But I don't
Therearetoomanyusernames
"The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the alphabet.
prosthetichipster06
I don't understand how this goes with #9?
paul289
"The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the alphabet.
prosthetichipster06
Wow that was clever.
Wolfofthepast
In your start menu in windows, type fonts. Open a font.
Therearetoomanyusernames
I'm guessing this doesn't work for Windows 8?
Spar10
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog
phroureo
So, I'm too late, but when my great grandma was 5, she told her mom "I don't want to be called baby anymore." Mom said "Okay." 1/2
IFrickinLoveSharks
When i was little I hated my name, & demanded to be called crystal or diamond.. My dad said I could change it when I was 18, I thought I won
Lyrabelle
I absolutely love the name Crystal, and it's actually a family thing... Until one of them got hooked on meth.
IFrickinLoveSharks
Damn that's awkward
JessThe2ndBestt
Yeah I loved the same names. I though the name Crystal and Brystal was soooo cool
phroureo
Mom said "Okay. Go pick yourself a name, then." So she named herself Fannie Pearl, after her favorite book character.
finallystoppedlurkingonimgur
So what was the name of the book? FYI I did Google it, and couldn't find that exact name in a book. Well Google couldn't...
phroureo
I don't have any idea. It might have been that part of it was in the book, and the other part came from somewhere else, but I don't remember
finallystoppedlurkingonimgur
Ok. Thanks
ireya
Kinda sucks that Fannie (or fanny) means vagina in some English speaking parts of the world lol. Vagina pearl.
Elbertron
Fanny pack
phroureo
It generally means "butt" where I'm from nowadays.
pirate89RAWR
In the US, we consider fanny to mean butt,b but in the UK, it means vag.
phroureo
Hence him saying what it means in some places, and me saying what it means where I'm from! Thanks for the tl;dr of the conversation!
mthrndr01
I've always desperately hoped to watch a particularly exciting misunderstanding regarding this.
Fejerro
I also read Oedipus in 10th grade English. OMG, like half our generation, like, just DOESN'T EVEN KNOW.
[deleted]
[deleted]
JacketOff
This. Exactly this,
lngwlkr
I learned about it because of Bill & Ted's excellent adventure
CatsPitBullsAndBooksOhMy
because they'll get to that in the next few years of high school UGH what illiterate fools
oedipuswasthefirstmotherfucker
Yeah seriously tell me about it
MusculusSternocleidomastoideus
You read it in English? We only read it in Greek, so 90% of our school doesn't know it.
Jacana
I think most everyone here knows, but I imagine half our generation is not on Imgur.
aSwankyLemon
what is oedipus?
Dreamdayer
http://imgur.com/WiL1Xrw
thetattooedcupcake
I read it in honors English but all the other kids in my grade didn't...22 out of 301. I bet there are alot of people who have no idea!
MoooCow
It comes up in porn a lot too. :)
DrTobogganMantisToboggan
Your smiley face concerns me
Freakingdoomguy
Please tell me what that means and it better be really insulting
SAWhowhatnow
And after fucking his mother he killed himself.
Jagerteufel
Never read the book, but I looked it up a few years ago.
HeyyyyyMacarena
I always have the most epic CAH Oedipus card combo, but no one ever knows what it is. :( It's tragic.
thedonnerparty
That's sad, you need some new friends
skelitor120
You know its only called English cus it was originally spoken England? My generation is so stupid, im not like other 15 year olds. Im better
SAWhowhatnow
I've never read Oedipus but I know the story through cultural osmosis. Shits not hard.
FrankyBabes
I like to think that at least as many of the "previous" few generations wouldn't know either, 'cuz no internet
jyetie
We're so special. It's not like almost every high schooler has to read it. And for the ones that don't, it's not like it's commonly
LadsActionNews
no one was ever required to read Oedipus in my entire four years of high school, so..
jyetie
2 referenced only a few clicks away from the greatest repository of human knowledge.
JhericFury
Then again, every year people post on the internet how the world (or america) is 201? years old. So not half, but still a noticeable amount
Niddhogg
Fucking thank you. I hate when people play into the stereotype "all young people are stupid". Especially in reference to millenials.
FailToImpress
r/lewrobggeneration
ButtholeFullOfSriracha
Just because you haven't read Greek tragedy doesn't mean your stupid. It means you haven't read Greek tragedy.
MyxlPlyxl
I'm 14 and I know all about it. We're not all uncultured, stupid, and living a blissful, ignorant life. Really hate that generalization.
evolg
You're 14; have you even lived enough to have culture?
Kushita
Wait... What age range are the millenials first off? Am I a millennial? 24 yr old.
Niddhogg
Yup, you'd fall into the range. Otherwise known as "Gen Y", it generally refers to people born between the mid 80's to 2000 or so.
TrapezoidofTerror
Only baby boomers are officially defined. You're gen y.
TrapezoidofTerror
http://m.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2014/03/here-is-when-each-generation-begins-and-ends-according-to-facts/359589/
Fejerro
You count as a millennial. So do I. I'm 31. Gen X is pretty much up until 1980 I think.
Kushita
http://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/archer-back-woo.gif?w=650
MartialSpork
Wait, so what's 1995?
TrapezoidofTerror
http://m.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2014/03/here-is-when-each-generation-begins-and-ends-according-to-facts/359589/