UrOverThinkingIt
130287
2421
144
Aug 19, 2017 9:23 PM
UrOverThinkingIt
130287
2421
144
jordanschlansky
I just took my PANCE exam today. I wish I could have written in cocaine for everything.
AnalSexInTheWoodsDontMakeBabies
WHISKEY, LAUDANUM, SAW! HUE HA
Ryanator50
until you get burned alive for witchcraft
Ant4N
And anyone I didn't like I could say uh you have some Satan in you, you should get an exorcism or something
LadyWidebottom
"Oral thermometer, my eye! Think warm thoughts, boy, this is mighty cold!"
Anonimorobustus
Hysteria? -Womb manipulation
RunningInCirclesNeverFeltSoGood
Hmmm, you're sick. I guess we better take away your blood!
lolive246
Dude get the fuck out, the original post is still on FP. At least wait a month or something, god damn amateurs.
IGetItFrenchClass
You'll feel much better after a good bloodletting. TWO PINTS!
KuteKittenKoats
"I have a headache doc" "well it's obviously demons in your brain! Only one thing to do." *takes out drill*
XenoCore
I'm cool with reposting usually, but this is litterally on the front page RIGHT NOW.
siler7
You don't have to go back too far for hilarity
DogsArePeople02
I ain't repost statistics but this was 14 hours ago. Nice try bitch.
DogsArePeople02
*4
scottEkarate
I want ghosts in my blood, and to go to an old timey doctor.
NeonXeno2
Saw this 4 hours ago...
sdfq3gb23gb423g2
this post is literally a five hour newer version of a post that is RIGHT NEXT TO IT on the FP. fuck you, -1
TimeAndMemeLordOfGallifrey
UrOverThinkingIt
i lol'd at this +1
Foag
Patient: Which remedy would you recommend Doc? Doc: Did you say 'witch'?
TheMortiestMortyfromC137
Oh geez that sounds like grandpa rick
TheMortiestMortyfromC137
With extra steps,you know, oh man
DaenerysTargaryenQueenoftheAndalsandtheRhoynarandtheFirstMen
Fun fact: this dude sent me a dick pic before.
itouchedthebutt
Well this sounds like a story we all need to hear.
KuteKittenKoats
Please share for the class! Not the pic just the story.
DaenerysTargaryenQueenoftheAndalsandtheRhoynarandtheFirstMen
Story isnt terribly exciting. We met at a bar and went back to his with some friends. My friend got trashed so I had to take her home. 1/2
DaenerysTargaryenQueenoftheAndalsandtheRhoynarandtheFirstMen
Obviously nothing was going to happen, so he got my digits and, after some witty banter, he sent me a picture of his penis.
XenuPintrestWarrior
Good times! Giving out 'massages ' with your new vibrating dildo invention as a cure for 'hysteria'. . . amputations n chit...
PostNutDepression
I'd have to imagine that would be either flat out rape or like how people treated medicinal marijuana
MissLadyPants
... I'm feeling a bit hysterical. ;)
bigassdolphin
It must be polio!
HitachiMagicWand
Checking in.
thecheerfulpessimist
Headache? That's a leechin'. Fever and ague? That's a leechin'.
ShutUpAndTakeMyMeme
Or some robitussin
skooksies
Burn it. No body, no problem.
FunctioningWorkaholic
Coughing? Here, take some Heroin.
Proudfoots
I mean say what you want about heroin, shit cures a cough like a sonuvabitch
Gentamicin
Anemia? That's a leechin'.
EthylenediaminetetraaceticAcid
Anemia = Low blood (hemoglobin/ red blood cells). For anyone who is wondering.
Ryebread91
Or a paddlin
Un0riginalComment
What do you do about leeches?
OuchYoureonmyhair
Opium.
kyaria
Put smaller leeches on them.
ArtOzz
Doc, my limbs are blue white and I feel tired all the time...
HaveNoFearTheDrsHere
Didn't ya hear the good doctor? That's a leechin
taytotom83
You feelin' a bit down? That's an ice pick to the brain
Aesurah
Ah yes the times when cocaine was in the cough syrup, and the morphine was in the baby sleep aids.
ArtOzz
Huh? We're talking about old times, not modern life hacks.
TanisIsMySpiritAnimalFERDA
Ahhhhhh....the Good ol' Days
asquiiiiiiisha
Nah you still want an opiate for a cough. Topical cocaine for teething babies.
UrOverThinkingIt
What a time to be alive!
THEMOXABIDES
Truly.
N1c380085
Get busy living AND get busy dying
lilskank
ACTHUALLY, it was opiates in cough syrup, as well. Opiates for everything. Opiates are nice. The only reason I could think of to include >
lilskank
cocaine in a cough syrup is just for its localized anesthetic properties.
Z0op
It was a key ingredient to coka cola back in the day (hence the name). Probably just to make you addicted so you keep buying it.
lilskank
Does cocaine actually make your throat numb? I don't know. I can't remember. I never swallowed it.
The3rdwheel
It is how u test it for purity. Rub it on your gums. If they go numb u know its good
Bluedrift
When choosing the right brand, remember: 9 out of 10 doctors recommend smoking Camel Cigarettes!
AlwaysFavoriteAsian
That 10th doctor probably had his medical license revoked after by big tobacco.
byllman
Didn't they used to be able to advertise cigarettes and alcohol on TV? Or one of those at least.
SkeletonsLoveBooty
Both. All the time. Alcohol is still advertised at least in America.
TheDoctorAndHisTrustyTardis
I still see alcohol commercials all the time
OuchYoureonmyhair
Fred Flintstone did cigarette commercials
Bizarkly
"Tastes good -- like a cigarette *should*!" That one was on TV in my youth. A moment of nostalgia for the "Marlboro Man": he died of cancer.
imaBme
In the US, you can't advertise cigarettes on TV and you can't show someone drinking alcohol in a commercial.
byllman
That's what I thought.
Crawmak
I swear I remember seeing both of those on TV less than a decade ago.
byllman
Really? I thought it was banned in the 70's (here in the US).
LMeire
Maybe in a theocracy like Utah...