FatherLeroy
848136
13297
145
Jan 23, 2015 2:43 PM
FatherLeroy
848136
13297
145
magneticgumby
"I could care less" Stopped reading at that point. How the fuck do people still mess this phrase up?
allyourbaritonearebelongtous
Hook up a wireless mouse to a coworker's out-of-sight USB plug... but keep the mouse for yourself.
MrT800
#5 http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/no_pun_intended.png
compactsun
There was actually another comment from that guy calling out everyone that linked XKCD to him. Just you know, making sure you don't miss out
minimoo
If you get people to think you're really easygoing and nice, eventually you can say any mean thing you want and they'll assume you're joking
Nullsig
I pass people having loud discussions in public. I randomly take a side and loudly proclaim who I think is correct. Context doesn't matter
chaoticdavid
How you subtly fuck with people: screenshot reddit in Times New Roman and put it on imgur.
NoIWillNotTellYouMyUsername
Heh I use this font when writing anything on the computer (assuming i can change the font)
ThisIsNotTheGreatestNameInTheWorldThisIsJustATribute
I kind of liked it...had to get out my fancy reading glasses
FatherLeroy
Yeah I use a serif font on my phone. It helps me read the text better in big blocks of text.
xUsako
what's the unsubtle version? comic sans? :D
JRobi49
fuck you josh, you piece of shit
testudont
#13 Someone tried to overtake me so I sped up. He sped up. We ended up sprinting across the campus like total fools at 1 am.
YouGottaBeFresh
That's awesome
Desufire
Things that didn't happen
Mynamewillbethenametorulethemall
Were you yelling HELP????
Waaahmbulance
Fucking rotfl
NiftyGoblin
What you need to do is get in front of him while you're running and start yelling for help and watch him slow down all confused.
sirplayerone
I hope that the whole time you were both giggling like idiots and are now best friends.
MisterFantastic
John Mulaney has a funny but about a similar situation: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qDZHwb-If9w
screwitt
Nooo wayy
MisterFantastic
Damn autocorrect, bit is a word and you know it!
IsSheReallyGoingOutWithHim
I'm gonna have to watch to see if he has a funny butt ;)
mabowlofchilli
All I was thinking about is Jim Halpert
DickeyBirdie
So like, do you ever get this creepy feeling of déjà vu?
Thispostisaboutacat
I like to noticeably smell others in front of people, but the person I am smelling has no idea.
inhocsignovinces
Stop it.
CyberAkuma
"Yeah, the address is lower-right circle, middle-right circle, middle circle, upper-middle circle, upper-left circle Main street"
Bent0916
Tags: "Inspiring", "Informative". +1
AiurForHire
RedStarBeograd
Whos dat nigga?
YourParents
It's Pikachu!
DickeyBirdie
So like, do you ever get this creepy feeling of déjà vu?
nelshai
I once knew a couple that did the "Brother-Sister" shtick. Then I realised I'm from a very rural area and they had the same last name.
UrbanManburger
I made a slideshow that was a few screenshots of my roommates desktop in a row and then a blue screen and put it on full screen
Blyde
I like to say "jizz" to random people instead to "cheers", like when they've held a door open for me, or somehow helped me. I'm a bad person
FatherLeroy
That's awesome and on the to-do list for tmw. Like when you learn a new word and go on to try it out.
DickeyBirdie
So like, do you ever get this creepy feeling of déjà vu?
HeisenbergFC
I sneak into sports stadiums and let the air out of footballs when no one is looking. Drives people insane.
Lookatmyballs
I take a small universal remote to sports bars. Randomly turn off tvs
StephenFedoriw
Heard that the Patriots are hiring you next season
yourbassist
A guy fucked my ex. We were off and on at the time so I was pretty pissed. Next time I saw him "I'm gonna kick your ass. High five!" 1/2
YourParents
YOU WERE ON A BREAK
yourbassist
Yea, that's all and well but fucking in MY shower changes everything.
slagath0r
THANK YOU
yourbassist
2/2 He stepped back in fear at the first part than hesitantly high fived me. I did this long enough for him to hate me.
FoxyEllie
You know if you guys were "off" at the time, I don't think you had any right to complain...
yourbassist
They fucked in my shower. I disagree.
FoxyEllie
Now that's definitely uncalled for. Carry on.
DickeyBirdie
So like, do you ever get this creepy feeling of déjà vu?
mdbf
I legitimately can't stop giggling at this.
yourbassist
It was fun. They fucked in my shower so I'd say it was all well deserved.
InfiniteSynapse
The gall.
yourbassist
Ironically, the mental tail spin it put me in led to me fooling around with the woman who he ended up marrying.
ArmedHashbrown
Close talkers are the worse kind of people.
NcNastey
Special spot in Hell reserved for them.
CynicalFish
Just look at their teeth and make disgusted expressions until they lose their train of thought and get self conscious.
Popyseed11
I've taken the the keyboards and mice for two computers and plugged them in so they would control the wrong computer. Got detention cause it
AiurForHire
audibly laughed +1
[deleted]
[deleted]
Popyseed11
It was.
DaveExclamationMark
Me and a friend created new admin accounts on the school computers (they were macs, so it was easy) and changed the old admin password.
gzneto
Or instal Team Viewer in one of the pcs, and control it from my phone, I once did it to a girl and wrote '' hi im tom riddle'' she cried
PandaBearSoup
I wrote a program that put someone's documents into a sub-folder of a subfolder x ~100 and got someone else's computer usage suspended.
JustARichard
At my school they have mounted tv's and I figured out using an app to control them. Eventually others caught on and stated doing the same 1/
JustARichard
My school found out I began this pandemic and gave me detention 2/2
AreYouMyMummy
I popped off and switched the "n" and "m" on a coworker
Harmonex
My father did this. Even better is when you update the registry to match. Fucks with touch-typists.
gzneto
I used to do pretty much the same, but I would connect my mouse/keyboard to someone's computer while they were using it, my friend would 1/
gzneto
stand behind the person and signal me about what they were doing, and tell me when I had properly opened word, so I could write creepy shit
WoahShocksMyBrain
I put a USB controlled wireless mouse in my coworker's computer when she was on vacation. When she got back I could control 1/2
WoahShocksMyBrain
The cursor on her screen from the wireless mouse in her cube. Brilliant. 2/2
LamboDiabloSVTT
Worth it.
ique
I would screenshot my brother's comp, set it as the background, and stop the task "explorer.exe" Hard rebooted his "frozen" comp every time.
corneliusgansevoort
(2/2)... gave everyone boners.
tiramigiu
i used to take the keys out of keyboards and re arrange them, one time i managed to move pretty much every single key.
carbonthief
one better, me and my friends would go into the command prompt, and turn off random peoples computers in the lab, it was hilarious to see
3794
did that in my highschool web class. Its funny to see peoples reactions when they get a message saying "haha" and their computer turning off
WhimsicalCalamari
I wish I had known how to do that in high school. That's beautiful
carbonthief
yeah, almost got expelled for it though, shut off some unstable kids computer, and he got super pissed, figured out how to do it, 1/2
carbonthief
and then shut the entire labs computers off besides his, then ratted us out. IT tried fixing it by removing cmd from the start menu 2/?
carbonthief
so we bypassed it, and did it again. he was even more pissed the second time we shut off his computer, ratted me out again. 3/3
Nandabun
Ah man, in my college c++ course, we learned the school's networking software, and how to contact other PCs through it. Library hilarity..
MalcoImreynolds
When i was in high school. We used net send from cmd. It was quite fun watching the teachers get mad.
Nandabun
"Wake up, the Matrix has you" and corny shit like that. But still great.
Supernerdtastic
Wake up Germaine, the Matrix has you.
umpbumpfizz
This happened to me in high school. I lost 3 hours of work on a graded assignment. This really isn't as funny as you think it is.
yeaboy67
Ctrl+S saves lives.
umpbumpfizz
Yes. But so does not turning off someone's computer like an asshole.
carbonthief
its high school, the whole thing is a joke, and btw, it was hilarious every time
IbukiOnTheScene
some people have higher aspirations than your McDonalds crew leader position, and this could legitimately affect them in a serious way
carbonthief
and btw, it gives you like a message and a minute, so if you are too stupid to save your work, thats your fault
carbonthief
lmao, I'm a game developer dude, far from McDonalds crew leader. but hey, stereotype all you want
ZedaZ80
This one time you commented with "the the" in your comment @_@
Popyseed11
That's why I didn't have enough room to finish typing..
Popyseed11
Predictive text sucks
SupremeTacos
Once again, the brother/sister thing is an oddly weird turn on. Yup I have serious issues.
TheBonerofJustice
Dammit PATRICE!!!!
[deleted]
[deleted]
graehall
Agreed, it's one skeeviest among this album.
Sheriffpuppy
I feel like this is not getting enough credit, this reaallyyyy made me chuckle.
TheBonerofJustice
It's getting its recognition now.
Sheriffpuppy
Good :D
BoxesofFoxes
I know someone who is absolutely awful. I'm doing this.
TheBonerofJustice
DO IT!!
TyphinSkunk
I think someone tried this on me once back in college, but I wasn't a dick so I didn't badmouth them. Yay, I win?
justactlikewedontknoweachother
this....I need to do this.
TheBonerofJustice
It'll be long but worth it.
querolbk
This needs more likes
TheBonerofJustice
took awhile but it looks like your wish was granted
gormtheoldthesleepyofdenmark
I like this post. No pun intended.
BergerMan
The "no pun intended" one reminded me of the character in Come Fly With Me
OneMillionSchruteBucks
*nervous laughter*
EchoOfSnac
Hahaha... *glances around nervously*
SonOfTheShire
I tried this once after seeing the xkcd comic and got called out on it immediately. Awkwardness ensued.
Stupidium
We hate reddit! Ooooh a stolen reddit post, awesome! Fucking Imgur logic.
dudezelda
I'm now imagining you staring lovingly at an actual post while typing this.
HiImNate
Yep.
Daevin
Fuck you Josh, you piece of shit
kaneep
*shakes head and laughs*
sharkbaitoouhaha
this one made me laugh out loud
titaniumspine
http://xkcd.com/559/
Rovylern
You beat me to it. Stupid teaching... Why can't I be on imgur more?
azazyel
I worked at a call center, 'killing with kindness' works really well.
JustJonah
What do you do when the person calling is employing the same tactic? Any time I deal with customer service I do this.
lefthandedmoths
when i worked at a call center, i'd use my sexy voice on irate customers, and it really calmed them down.
FoxyEllie
I think that's because the blood rushing to their head and making them angry went... elsewhere.
ArdentSlacker
I never guessed as a child that bugging my sister with an unnaturally calm voice would parley into a vital skill on a real for-money job.
Corrodias
Probably not a good job, but a job indeed.
ArdentSlacker
No, it was very mediocre. They made darned sure to get rid of me at the start of the year following my having pneumonia.
rimtice
Agreed. I had someone threaten to kill me for apologizing 'too much.' Of course I apologized for that. He decided to end the call.
Diofant
We had someone complain about one of my coworkers being 'too happy' once. He sounded 'very happy' while telling them they're totally screwed
imgursample
We probably audit your calls, (we listen). Those are the funnest ones to hear.
Writr
As a teacher, it's the best way to deal with shitty parents.
Yay295
and unruly students. I had a teacher who would start whispering if we were too loud and we would all quiet down to so we could hear her.
Schmedes
fuck you azazyel, you piece of shit
imgursample
Well sir I'm very sorry you feel that way, I'll be sure to tell my supervisor I should be reprimanded. Would you mind taking a short survey
AvsJoe
I worked at a call centre once as well. How's your soul? Is it still intact?
davemymindisgoingicanfeelit
HEY, Help me help you, buddy.
FoxyEllie
It pisses people off because they want an excuse to blow up on you when they're wrong, but don't want to appear the fool.
thefatjesus
I work in a call center as well. Placemark for my comment later. Until I get off work.
imgursample
I'll remind the auditors to check the screen caps for imgur.
VLVanZ
I work at a call center too. I love pissing people off like this.
imgursample
We probably listen to you too.
Imonthebrutesquad
Same. I'm a librarian and people think if they throw a fit we'll bend over backwards. Instead I explain things to them as if they were five.
bob3242
i got bitch out once because I was being too kind while denying access to speak to a manager,
Bellatricks
Did this to a customer in the food industry. He threatened to call corporate on me because of it. Sorry for being polite and doing my job.
NiftyNips
Sometimes when I get a man who is an absolute asshat, I turn on my sexpot porn star voice. You can hear the pause as they process it.
azazyel
I'd occasionally pretend to be gay, that was kind of fun.
lefthandedmoths
yes! me too! it worked like a charm.
pedahbreads
and for the win...
wahchoolookinat
Omg if I had a dime for every time I got hit on...I could retire from callcentres forever!
NiftyNips
Wouldn't that be nice?
wahchoolookinat
I only remember 2 male voices I wanted to have speak directly into my lady parts.
thefatjesus
So I'm a "supervisor" at a call center for a credit company. I'm the type of guy that is monotone and I don't care what type of tone you 1/?
thefatjesus
have. You can be the biggest dick or you can be really nice. I usually do more for nicer people. If I'm doing something like removing a 2/?
thefatjesus
late fee I tell them exactly what cause them to get a late fee (such as "It was due on the 28th but we received your payment on the 5th 3/?
thefatjesus
next month, this is a valid charge stated in your terms that you agreed upon but I would be happy to take care of that for you" 4/4
imgursample
God we hate auditing your boring ass calls.
PamelaSplooshPoovey
I work in retail. Must try this.
JustJonah
It'll work like a charm.
ilovededyoupiggy
This and going extremely slow when they're rude and in a hurry are the best ways to exact petty revenge.
PamelaSplooshPoovey
Oh. Damn that's good. Also when they're on their phone while I'm ringing them up I just talk to them anyways
ilovededyoupiggy
I always talk a little louder and make sure I constantly ask them questions.
demonic
When I was a cashier and the customer was rude to me I'd "accidentally" drop their eggs so they would have to wait.
Wotsengnagga
you forgot the single best of em
IReadEverythingInMickeysVoice
I decided that I didn't want to go through the whole thing, so to check and see if it was one I'd already read, I went to the end... (1/2)
IReadEverythingInMickeysVoice
It made absolutely no fucking sense. (2/2)
RedStarBeograd
Too good to be true.
MyHorseAteMyPaycheck
I love pineapples, so I'd be pretty happy.
DescipleOfCthulu
Hey, I may be slowly going insane, but at least I can enjoy eating these imaginary pineapples.
NeuralActivity
Commenting for future use of idea.
DescipleOfCthulu
Then that anon got a job working on the set of Psyche.
lukalock
If this is real, it's amazing.
ahuradopoly
I'm giggling madly :D
OnlyRideMeCamel
Normally don't read these, but this is great !
FatherLeroy
Holy shit that's good
ArcipluvianCosmicGallows
No it's not, that one's retarded. Think about actually trying it. Would your 'victim' actually have any reason to give a shit?
WhatEvenIsAUsernameAnyway
just like your points
kaioshi
At least it wasn't an orange.
PolarBears91
#sickreferencebro
Simanni
orange you glad it was a pineapple
Lesbiandez
I instantly thought of that horrendous creepy pasta when i read he sent a pineapple. Now im terrified. *shudder*
TachyonCode
... what creepypasta?
Lesbiandez
The woman with the orange. I dunno if that is its exact name. But google that. Its long..and horrifying. But worth it for sure.
Lesbiandez
sorry. delay. i think its called the woman with the orange. or something to that effect. read it. and let me know what u think please! :)
TachyonCode
I might. I'm not a huge fan of creepypastas myself, I just seem to have a lot of friends who are...
Harmonex
Dodged camera blind spots, picked a locker. Yep. /r/thathappened
Salpinus
Working part time as a security guard for 3.5 years here. FYI: Neither is particularily difficult. But got to know where the cam is though..
DenaliRaven
yeah, he wouldn't know about the camera or where it was...still an entertaining story though
Sacurason
Neither of these are difficult at all, especially the camera one. I've done both.
RedStarBeograd
Care to tell?
Sacurason
1/2 When he says "blind spot" for the camera, he probably would've just entered from a different side of the house. Easily avoidable.
Sacurason
2/2 School lockers are shit. Some of them can be punched/kicked open because of the cheap mechanism. The post still isn't plausible, but meh
whyexactly
cheap combination locks will usually open for a variety of combos, I think my friends record by the end of the year was 11.
Sacurason
Or were you looking for a story?
RoundThreeFIGHT
MaybeGrapes
You mean last week.
Lainncli
I've decided I'm gonna ask the same girl in my maths class whether she's got deja vu, about ten minutes into every lesson...
para9
That's a bad deal. You only need to do it twice
DamnItFeelsGoodToBeALankster
Can we all make the same comment chains once this gets reposted?
MaybeGrapes
deal
GuardsmanMiku
SkyrimIsForTheNerds
ThatRussian
...dammit, I actually was like "I just saw thi- oohhhhh"
MechaNinja
Don't wear the SAME clothes. Wear clothes that have the colors reversed but are otherwise identical, for example.
nrpaladin
Too bad my work uniform is the same thing every day
MechaNinja
What can you screw with? nametag? have it out of place a different way each time. Be creative.
nrpaladin
No, I think the only thing that I can change is whether or not I wear a coat
WhimsicalCalamari
Wait, how so?
ArdentSlacker
Red shirt, white tie vs white shirt, red tie?
MechaNinja
e.g. black pants blue shirt the first time, blue pants black shirt the second time. Ideally with same pattern shirt or something.
WhimsicalCalamari
Gotcha. I only ever wear jeans so I had a bit of trouble figuring out that's what you meant there.
SomeJerk
If you hold a random object out to someone, without saying anything, 90% of the time they'll take it.(1/2)
haveguitarwilltravel
There's a prank video on YouTube where a guy asks cute girls to hold something (he's pretending to hold) and then he just holds their hand.
SomeJerk
So I'll hold things like chairs out to people and then they take it and say something like, "what is this?" and then I'll just walk away.
CHowell2010
Doesn't work as often for me, whether I know them or not. most people just stare at it and say "What the fuck is this?"
nofunatparties
TIL Reddit thinks gaslighting is funny.
ICanChangeMyUsernameWheneverIWantButIDontBecauseIAmGodDamnLazy
I remember a greentext about gaslighting:
- It's crazy genius.
jiffener
TIL what gaslighting is. :-/ http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/power-in-relationships/200905/are-you-being-gaslighted
wintermute93
Looks like 3000 people on imgur do too.
SonOfTheShire
Well, of course! What's wrong with slowing making your friends question their own sanity?
txmount
What else are friends FOR?!
CynicalFish
It's funny as long as it's benign. Which some of these aren't because they can cause psychological distress over long periods of time.
IfYouHaveToAskYoullNeverKnow
you let them vote, then this shit happens
RedStarBeograd
TRIGGERED!
BaconKitty
I actually laughed at that one XD
malcapone
Almost choked on my drink when I read that; fucking brilliant.
HanktheHeliotropeShank
SkyrimIsForTheNerds
IfYouHaveToAskYoullNeverKnow
I couldn't figure out which one I wanted to comment on
TwoPickSecure
+1 because I wanted to call that out too
meepmuup
I don't get it?
flummoxed0709
Women
Angel666Hawk
HAH, you're doing the other thing
mdbf
God dammit, I tried to click on that imgur link in the second to last one. To save others the pain:
ATalkingMushroom
Awwww... I actually typed in the link in the Address Bar before looking at the comments...
angryangrybird
me, too. Had to type it like 3 times, though, before I got it right.
DoctorOwly
I'm on mobile and I'm still dumb enough to have tried clicking on it
kwmPlus1
Same
internetzer
me too
RockstarAlchemist
This was my fav. Thanks for the link. +1
kingv360
thanks!!
sparklebunnypoo
Somehow my brain made these look like dice with 12 flat sides. I'm so glad you posted this.
mdbf
Dice ace currency would be kinda cool.
mdbf
WTF brain? *as, not ace.
dudezelda
You're a God damned hero, boy!
ChefLes
Thanks! I did to, then realssed someone would have linked in comments.
MnemonicMonkeys
It looks like they're trying to ressurect their mother
TheSilverRaven
Plot twist: their mother was the origional coin.
Thejones81
You're doing the Lords work my friend.
ballaBOSS
you are Heaven sent!!!
Riveter27
Of course I see this after I open a new tab and type the url in...
OddOod
You da real MVP
getawesome
This is how you earn the shit outta those points. Karma, bruh.
raveracer77
use a file to slowly over the course of weeks take just a little off the edges so it makes it more and more difficult to stand
CyberSpaceGal
thank you!
llimeygrl
The people of Imgur thank you
SuperRockinMrMagic
you're a saint
nodawana
This? This is the 2nd best comment?
notoneyouknow
I typed it in before I got to the comments
Starwaster
Dammit I wish I had read your comment first :(
AmazinAz
Thank you!!
aardvark2k
I Did as well. And said God damnit out loud. Then saw your comment.
Sextillion
you da real mvp
MacGyverofAnxiety
you are a true hero, doing god's work
Tylendal
I realized what the top comment was probably going to be right as I finished typing the URL...
frankbert
Brilliant :D
chiefslithersnake
I rearrange my friends paintings every so often when I visit the house. They often wonder if they're going mad or something.
MinnesotaMathew
God bless you kind sir.
OneCraftyHooker
My hero
RedStarBeograd
For the glory of satan of course.
CaptainHarbatkin
Too late.
whimsywynn
I accidently reported you with drunk thumbs sorry your comment was entirely appropriate
mdbf
Oh shit I'm banned.
linglingthefemalepanda
I typed in the wrong link and it showed the image having been removed. Was so disappointed but you did i.
Tavt
"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn".
Ilikefriedpickles
you the real MVP.
ehnayehn
Bless you
mypotholderhurts
You're doing god's work, son.
Likeamamagoose
Thank goodness I'm not alone
kemet44
Ditto
onionbutt
You're doing the lord's work here. Bravo.
EpilEpic
You the real MVP
jeffnunn
Thank you! I did too!
shyriath
And it was totally worth seeing. Ya done good, son.
TheTwoRaptorsYouDidntEvenKnowWereThere
You're the hero we need
dvdpeiro
shit I just typed the link and now see you had done it for me. fml =P
naMretupmoC
You're doing God's work their! ;) keep er up!
diareetusmachine
Omg thank you
sweBers
Mumble mumble, God's work.
zhukoz
Fuckin brilliant mate lol
totesymahgoatsy
It's too late for me. Save yourselves.
SpaceCookies
You're a good person. Upvote!
ReXalted
Ditto ditto
imguralifragilisticexpialidocious
Thank you, that was driving me crazy!
MikeLitoris2
hahahahahaha holy crap that looks hilarious, it's a coin satanic ritual xD
deathfrmabove
3 times dammit!!
The8obman
you the real mvp
mdbf
Heh, you and @LightBrother made these comments at almost exactly the same time.
The8obman
shout out to my lighter brother
OddOod
Brothers!
OddOod
Or siblings, I would hate to just assume your gender
unrelaxed
That's six coins, not 15.
V1keo
That is hilarious!
FatherLeroy
Thanks! I planned on doing that... I also planned on going to the gym before work this morning!
myusernameisreallyreallylong
Maybe @mdbf can go to the gym for us all too
LemonWars
I've been trying to buy myself a swimming pool ticket for 6 months already!
IAmCabbageLord
This was me this morning...got dressed for it and everything
DickWhiskers
No pun intended
Tambre14
for the last two years, I have planned to do the same thing!
GrapeRape
Ah, the long con.
efhawthorne
No, you're supposed to repeat for two to twenty-five years.
JesusHorsedickChrist
Wow, two years? That's some serious pre-planning. I hope you went.
ILikeToCallItLostWages
commenter read my thoughts. Thanks.
FiddleMeThis
You're a god damn hero.
spaizkadett
I guess that's OP's way to subtle fuck with people. I too clicked…
tooomanysteves
That photo makes me irrationally happy.
Harmonex
I typed it out and got a 404.
mdbf
Used a 1 instead of a lower case L, maybe?
Harmonex
Is it not a 1? It has the bit at the top hanging to the left.
mdbf
That font drives me nuts (I work in editing). But yeah, the little Ls and 1s look almost identical.
aayhan
I typed it in, but it was removed?
mdbf
Probably used a 1 instead of a lower case L?
aayhan
it says "1" in the pic -_-
mdbf
In that font, 1s and ls are virtually indistinguishable.
aayhan
yes