ruffcats
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Part 25: http://imgur.com/gallery/k6hxI
Part 27: http://imgur.com/gallery/1szUd
Twitter for updates: https://twitter.com/JacobSpears2
Email JacobSpears1@gmail.com for details on preordering a 'Stay Classy' T-shirt!
message me your confessions!
-Ruffcats
vorduul
That last one gives me so many ideas...
SiliconValleyGirlLikeTotally
Thongs ARE comfortable?? That's news to me. I only wear them when I want to take them off quickly...
barnabusmaximus
I bet you @mynamewillbeanonymous name is Dan
quentincompson
the second to last one is exactly what Marla Singer does at the start of Fight Club...
dsswaff
@howunfortunate but you made a lot of people happy, so there's that
jakaii
@Squeaker94
tremblene
These keep getting better and better
Iamgonnaspankyousohard
Selling T shirts? This guy is a fuckin' entrepreneur, what the fuck
YellowSnowman
CaptainMorganTheFreeman
The most terrifying part of these posts? The confusing grammar.
moxymox
"I read deep, dark, and sometimes horrifying secrets on the internet and all I can focus on are syntax splices" - CaptainMorganTheFreeman
boomshockalockaa
Yeah that dog one upset me.
040815162342
How did @MrPATRIK figure that out??
Whitz
As an Australian that thong one took me a little while to work out why it was weird
GoshNotMe
theginganinja
Imgur: the simple secret sharer
BadassNarwhal
The last one is undecently gross. or creepy. or both
BigAndChunkyDane
You are the reason people have trust issues! @mynamewillbeanonymous
seanbean
Goddammit, Marla!
Lucky24NA
What a douche
AwkwardOstrichGirl
This is the only confession that really bothered me. That's more fucked up than most of the "weird" shit people are confessing.
yyack
Nobody wants a T-shirt... But how do we tell him?
ruffcats
i have 21 pre-orders since friday
eddiewardo
WHAT KIND OF SHIRT!?!?
0ppai
MRW reading these.
rainbownarwhal
yup! and hello fellow rainbow creature!
SuomiOnHyva
I believe the term for a jizz rag is "fapkin"
HeyUhHuhDoesItStinkInThereUhhHuhh
I just LOVE the new words I learn on Imgur!!
rachiechilipepper
WHY DO YOU NOT HAVE MORE UPVOTES?? lol
ArtSparkle
I DONT KNOW BECAUSE NOW IM WET FROM LAUGHING
rachiechilipepper
You're welcome :D
Metelex
That last one is as fucked up as masturbating while looking your dog in the eyes. There's no metaphor that can compare.
SirJaimeLannister
Excuuuse me, but wearing thongs does not make you gay. Wearing a thong while sucking dick makes you gay.
tunacupcake
Thank you! I was just thinking about why he felt the need to justify himself.
2Grenades1Strax
That last one with the dog. Someone find that Vietnam veteran dog gif, please.
LonLonRanchDressing
2Grenades1Strax
This exactly, thanks!
walkuptotheclublikewhatupihavesocialanxietyandwanttogohome
Now I'm afraid to put my clothes in my dorm washer, you douche @mynamewillbeanonymous
delaneige
I've always been anxious to use apartment/dorm laundry facilities if I can't stay there, and now I feel totally justified.
DezTurkish
To be honest, if people get their laundry out when it finishes this should not be a problem.
IntergalacticFlyingDolphins
I've definitely had issues with people removing my clothes from the dryer before my time's up though.
DezTurkish
Ooh, I see. In all the places I've used you aren't able to open the machines until the time ends.
Jarkeler
Yea... These are all funny/strange/gross in way. That one though, he's just a thief.
DerFoxeh
Nasty tricksy hobbitses. He's a liar, and a THIEF!
blondie147
Now I know why someone stole three pairs of my jeans out of the dryer...
StayClassySanDiego
First two years in college and someone has already stolen some panties, a nice shirt, and denim skirt. All on separate occasions...
Volcanuz
Just sit down in the dorm washing room with a book or phone if you dont trust it.
chanieldoi
Plot twist: He only steals one sock from a pair.
rugmi55
fight club
Cosmicjawa
BTW the clone trick doesn't work anymore :(
sandwichmunchies
around the same time in my life, I used to have to imagine my guinea pig in the microwave begging for mercy till it exploded..
GuantanamoBae
Ran into a bit of rule 34 that caught your liking? ;)
DJGnarly
Rule 66? There's a rule 34 for that.
yallgotanymoredankmemes
This doesn't get rid of my boner either:
EndersShadow
Could be because THEY AREN"T CLONES!
terbril
I used to mentally repeat Robot Master sequences from Mega Man to last longer. Now whenever I hear the Crash Man stage theme, I get a boner.
JPBStory
Sorry to hear it. I believe they call that "stupid sexy Flanders" syndrome.
yallgotanymoredankmemes
Yeah, that's because they are more like this:
WurldWunder
if my wife was really not in the mood, she would whisper terrible things like Roseanne Barr naked....in the mood no longer.
Cosmicjawa
oh gawd :(
BishopofHippo93
I have so many confessions, but I will never say a word.
NipplesOfTheNorth
make confession bears
JustASmallTownMinnesotanImgurlLivingInALonelyWorld
I honestly can't think of any. The one I had was already said by someone else. My life is so boring.
unbeardedbanana
Especially if it's not anonymous.
junkist
I'm with you on that, especially when a lot of my confessions, would require mandatory minimum sentencing.
ruffcats
This is why we can't have nice things
imonEVERYTHING
I got a few for you
PaleJr
Please make his comment a confession. Just to spite him.
CanadianBaconOhYeah
How do you get them up? From comments here or do we have to send?
imnotagirlbutupvotemeanyways
I sent mine to you. I feel weird that I actually want to be on this list.
Zellboy
ERMAHGERD I FOUND THIS IN USERSUB I'M SO HAPPY
Chrysanthymum
ME TOO!!!
2Grenades1Strax
As am I.
WiredDude
It's a great feeling.
Zellboy
Totally incredible.
ruffcats
SAME!
SirKuroi
I mean, I'd hope you did.
Zellboy
OH MY GOD BEST DAY EVER!
ducky69247
Where else would you find it?
Zellboy
On the front page.
ducky69247
I wouldn't know..
BigAndChunkyDane
Front page..
ducky69247
I wouldn't know.
alphabetch
Yeah...we don't go there anymore. What's it like now?
BigAndChunkyDane
Well, you pretty much see it user sub (just a couple of hours later) when sad people try to repost it to you guys for points.
HowUnfortunate
I'm such a whore.
DeannaZone
But you still delivered so you are alright :)
bustyblonde
Banana whore ;D
Shirlox
Well someone was going to say it.
eddiewardo
BUT. You are an attractive whore
TomAtofromPalletTown
How unfortunate. (sorry)
rainbownarwhal
Its ok, you kept your promise. Thats all that matters :D
OliverOcelot
But we love you for it.
Iwannaswiminapoolofpuppiesohwaitmaybenot
PIx or it didn't happen.
[deleted]
[deleted]
Iwannaswiminapoolofpuppiesohwaitmaybenot
What? You already posted them and I missed it?
Sklumlord
@mynamewillbeanonymous so... you're "that guy"... stealing shit from other people in the dorm laundry rooms.
velkrai
Laundry guy is a verified asshat with a degree in douchbag.
tyrannoSARAusrex
I hope they step on a lego house filled with spiders
Djayzus
I bet his name is Dan...
FastandBiCurious
Did anyone think of Marla from Fight Club?
mrcanadier
I too lost a brand new (and expensive) T-shirt because of a little shit like you @mynamewillbeanonymous . fuck you
sighnomore
for real. i lost a very nice dress in freshman year thanks to people like you @mynamewillbeanonymous!
UndercoverDumbledore
My friend lost a cardigan her nan knitted her that way, luckily she put up a poster about it and it magically appeared outside her door!
xthetenth
I lost a literally irreplaceable t-shirt (last one of a run from a friend who was a street unicyclist's merchandise, and he graduated). Scum
SacreDoom
That's just straight-up thievery, not really anything funny about it. Could it be used as evidence?
littlespacebased
The worst kind of person
rachycake
What an asshole
itsNAJAH
Yeah kind of a dick move
justasomeone
i hope he rots
tybrosion
hahaha he got downvoted into oblivion
TheInternetHasNoAvailableUsernames
I have nightmares with stuff like that. People stealing my clothes and then selling them. I hate this guy.
IAmJacksDoubt
We have a lost and found basket that I've considered taking from and doing the same thing, because it just starts to pile up.
bigbattaboom
Give it to the goodwill maybe?
UndercoverDumbledore
We have charity clothes bins at my halls so 1 week after the end of each term any clothes left in lost and found are put in those :)
shesfuntastic
i think its genius in an evil way.
CharmingAndSexyGentlemanStarshipCaptain
There's no need for genius mind for grabbing other people clothings from the laundry. Even idiots can do that.
shesfuntastic
the idiot would grab it, the genius takes it and makes a profit from it. the world 101.
CharmingAndSexyGentlemanStarshipCaptain
No, the idiot will also makes a profit from it. Greed 101.
ifeellikefloating
no, it's just evil
shesfuntastic
im not saying that its good, im merely saying that for a person who may be very poor that its a smart, yet bad, way to make money..
tyrannoSARAusrex
And douchey. I hope he steps on a lego.
dustybucket
I don't consider it stealing when its left in the laundry room for over 2 weeks. at that point its trash.
Campopatopolis
Where does it say they've been there for over 2 weeks?
dustybucket
Oh I'm talking about what happens at my school. Ppl often leave clothes for 2+ weeks, and then the school donates those clothes (1/2)
dustybucket
after another 2+ weeks
ruffcats
sorry i released this so late, i had a rough night last night...
whiterthantofu
but were you able to find the right hole?
Capttsarcastic
Female friend talked me into taking her visiting friends virginity to get it over it. Walked home with blood all over my crotch of my jeans.
CoonAndFriends
I don't like fingering to masturbate, but I'll hump the shit out of my stuffed animal.
2Grenades1Strax
It's okay, we all do have some stuff to do. I just recently broke up with a whole city..
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
HiNicckk
It's time to put yourself on one of these again
bob3rt
that ... sounds like a confession waiting for imgur confessions.
ruffcats
I messaged Ruffcats, hopefully he chooses mine!
TotallyNotJaimeLannister
You clever bastard.
PeanutBuddha
Seriously, stop. You've had a 26-part run. Too much of a good thing is a bad thing.
iloveyoualI
omg i agree i hate these so much, and i hate how imgur just jumps on anything these days after the food shirts >_<
ruffcats
Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius.
PeanutBuddha
Yeah - on this website I am mediocre alright.
TheMonsterWithinYou
oh c'mon, penutbuddah...We like these things D:
PeanutBuddha
That's fine. But I doubt Imgur would approve of him selling merchandise not officially endorsed by them.
TheMonsterWithinYou
Ah idk about that. That's something @sarah would have to handle.
goodguyC
I love these confessions, but I gotta admit, every time I see one, I'm wondering if you'll post my confession.
HowUnfortunate
He messages you if you're in one.
goodguyC
Good to know! Thanks!
goodguyC
Oh, and kudos on the banana!!! You crazy bastard!
TomAtofromPalletTown
How....... fortunate?
tonyret5199
I wonder the same thing...sent mine in 2 days ago...
ruffcats
time doesn't matter
shaftinferno
Dude, I sent mine in like five days ago. But it's a pretty lame confession. And besides, like no one is going to believe it.