thegirlwiththegrayheart
260836
13373
183
me_irl
Jan 25, 2016 11:37 PM
thegirlwiththegrayheart
260836
13373
183
TheIndianWhoIsWayTooBritish
Bury your pride... Not your girlfriend (wait... Inside voice only)
SorryForMyLadyBoner
"Play with her butthole, dont be one." I think this belong here. Yep.
surfr100
Don't sweat the petty stuff; just pet the sweaty stuff.
TINYRICKMOTHAFUCKAS
Touch the tip, not the pit.
damsizerooster
Dont waste it, taste it.
CorneliusCornwall
Always have a back up charger
LogicGoneWrong
Ignite your passion not her cold lifeless body
YaKnowItsJoe
keep baking soda near stove tops to smother oil fires
betterave
And make a kitchen bomb !
JohnnyLawlessEsq
Keep a large body of water handy so you can throw burning metal in it.
LavaAxe
My body is not very large but it is mostly water. Is this sufficient?
dogenuggets
I'm not an expert, but it probably is.
dntshoot
Keep his belly full and his balls empty.
BojidarMartinov
Nice one
JustWaves
People think it be like it is but it do
domzie
One of these is not like the other.
stilts88
Why fart and waste it when you can burp and taste it?
kreyll
... ... ...wut
antielovena
This is so gross and brilliant at the same time! = I love it :D
Concernicus
Don't eat yellow snow.
SensibleChuckleNorris
- Bourbon
randeerulessy1
Cuz that's where the doggies go...
speedysurfer
Ladies and Gentleman, wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.
TheEternalDestroyer
What if I just hide from the sun like a Ginger vampire instead?
fatherjokes
Looks both ways before flushing
SeriouslyEveryoneCanSearchWikipediaHereIsARealReference
Instructions unclear. Arrested for shitting on curb.
snomang
Underrated advice
OneZebraInAHerdOfWildebeests
At a stall, this will cue your next quest.
AuntSharron
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
Canchocolatejustletmefinish
I fell out two times!
Ginnjosh
Hi Ralphie
Canchocolatejustletmefinish
This snowflake tastes like fish sticks!
Minimajik
The Mitochondria is the Powerhouse of the Cell.
OPHASNECKBEARD
Don't be an asshole
LimitDoesNotExist
But be asshole to assholes. Right?
n2q0
Tickle her asshole, don't be one.
Axewhipe
Brush your teeth before you stick it in.
Nonamepaul
Neither a borrower or lender be
Mechlai
I was always taught this, but I always ended up being a lender... never borrow though.
tgholland
For loan oft loses both itself and friend, And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
vxjasonxv
Nor*
Nonamepaul
Yeah, knew it was wrong after I posted.
kreyll
Then you are forgiven.
Canchocolatejustletmefinish
Bless you my child.
kreyll
<(* ^ -^)> * is blessed *
Mcstyx
Salt the water BEFORE boiling, or tip the salt into your hand first. Otherwise the steam will cause the salt to clump.
memyselfandmeow
Totes!
Nimix21
Add a bit of olive oil to help prevent bubbling over.
salsadetomate
Wait I have never salted pasta. Was I supposed to be doing that?
Flyndaran
Urban legend believes the pasta can remember the salt that was in the water it boiled in. It may help prevent foam over though.
OolonColuphid
Do you like the taste of food? Yes, you should be salting pasta water! Salt it until it's like a slightly salty broth.
MaxxiDotPad
I recently started doing it...makes the pasta taste slightly salty, it's delicious. I think it also helps soften it.
Flyndaran
Unless you're not draining it, that's psychosomatic as all detectable salt has left before the mouth.
MrNailbrain
Salt increases the boiling point of water, meaning that when the water boils its a higher temperature. And that cooks the pasta faster.
salsadetomate
Oh wow this is really helpful for a college student. Thanks
Canchocolatejustletmefinish
Yeah! Science, bitch!
PikachusThug
Hurt her butt not her feelings.
curlysoup3129
*slow clap*
BaaLikeASheep
So, hurt her butt, but don't maker her butthurt?
kreyll
That was much better
PikachusThug
Yes exactly
INeedTheSauce1WhoGotTheSauce
Pay your bills on time
OneZebraInAHerdOfWildebeests
bill on time your Pay
idontknowwhatimstilldoinghere
Pay your bills online.
pixelsnader
Pay your bills one time.
LimitDoesNotExist
Or pay your bills to me. :)
mycull
Make Love Not Warcraft
HD226868
Directions unclear. Summoned Cthulhu.
FantaToTheKnees
MOOOOOOOOOOM, BAAATHRUUUUUM
Kaorikasai
Can I do both? The Alliance needs me.
SardonicGrin
When my girls were young I wanted to get them shirts that said "My mom is a Horde". I didn't and now have regret.
fixer66
/love
SpyrusCogwheel
Wat if Warcraft is love.
chands94
That's the world of Warcraft that you play
analyticmonkey
No! I don't want to start over from the graveyard! Agh!!
SilverWaving
Well you gonna!
EmpyreanEquinox
Yeah, or else we'll end up with a world of warcraft, wich consumes lives and is really fucking expensive.
BlacksMcNutt
Please. Stop the Warcraft. NoW!!!
BananaAddedForScale
LLLEEEEERROOOYYY JJEEENNNNKIIIIIINNNSSSSS
IsaacLane
Make war, not lovecraft.
Renda
We have to save the World
Renda
Of Warcraft
TheRicM
Any thoughts on the upcoming movie? Looks like CGI galore
Adula
... the ones before were 90% CGI!
CaptainBergatron
I'm just excited because I practically grew up on WoW and it's a big part of my childhood, back ten years ago
TheRicM
Good point!
Nnyco
oh really? i was hoping they film in stormwind, new york
demobytom
It'd be filmed in Vancouver.. https://youtu.be/ojm74VGsZBU
chivmuffin
Hoping the dialogue is better than the stuff that's been in the trailers because it feels so stilted and awkward.
Lenthas
I think it HAS to be CGI considering the creatures, sure you can argue "LOTR ORCS" but these orcs are like 2-3 humans in one. They look cool
TheRicM
Reminded me kinda of Hellboy lol
madjo
H. P. Lovecraft? I think i prefer war.
PancakeOverlordWithSprinkles
Make war not Lovecraft?
HailHailFreedonia
Unless tentacles are your thing
Kaorikasai
Hnnnnnhhh
SomewhatAsian
Did someone say tentacles?
TheVillainYouLove
Your username is so perfect...
OOIOxOOIxIOIOxIOIxSxIOIIxIIIxOOI
So many great usernames... WHY?
aussiecaleb
Play with his balls not his head.
CtrlAltDnc
why not both...
projectiledisfunction
...you're also gonna want to give the head some attention
jeromebettis
https://media2.giphy.com/media/p9ayxG3TAVUnS/giphy.gif
YouBetterNotBeJackingOffToBillyMaysInThere
theconeofdunshire
Bruh...
badgelodger
6.02 times 10 to the 23rd.
2141bc
Avogadro's Number
DarthRaki3
Chemistry bitches
Frontrowbass
When my high school Chem teacher explained mol, it fucking blew my mind.
Fluxcap
The people who have upvoted this are either very smart or know how to use google.
Strugg1eBuss
Avocado's extra
Devante
Bitch I know guac is extra.
chemistsdoitintesttubes
Indubitably.
MrMcSpiff
MOLEY MOLEY MOLEY MOLEY.
6Gawd
6.02000000E+23. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!
thegameball
"A prettier number I've never heard"
usersarah
Holy mole-y
randeerulessy1
Always wipe front to back...
GamerTaboo
Should....
Flyndaran
I'm guy, so don't need to do that. ENVY ME!
randeerulessy1
Dont EVAAAAAA flush a maxi pad either!
Flyndaran
I know that. I never flushed mine. Yeah, born male. Helpful hint: Don't ever get a rectal fistula. Post surgery was unpleasant.
idontknowwhatimstilldoinghere
Always use wet wipes
GamerTaboo
be....
ThatLemonStealingHorse
Never flush wet wipes.
GamerTaboo
mandatory.
ReptilianKnight
Always look both ways before crossing the street.
OneZebraInAHerdOfWildebeests
THIS ALSO APPLIES IF YOU'RE DRIVING
thegirlwiththegrayheart
specially if you're visiting the uk
tabernacle
that really fucked me up when i was in london last month. look right. now look left.
BrosephStalinTheSecond
Sometimes twice.
thegirlfromtheplaceyouknow
Left, Right, Left
bigdog1983
Left, right, left, right, left, left.... two years later, left left
legsmalone
Floss daily.
thegr8rambino
No I don't wanna
TalliBighood
Then mastubate
thegr8rambino
Then profit!
ImMrsMeeseeksLookatMe
At least 3x a week
YouCapturedMe
HA!
xorn56
Haven't flossed in years
UnrustleYerJimmies
Ewww
themagicalnarwhal
That's why your gums bleed when i floss it, see? *wioes hand on bib and continues to push down on gums*
thegr8rambino
Few months at least for me lol
Goldboy3343
Fap Daily
Mavgurian
Regular release was said to help prevent prostate cancer sometime somewhere.
thegr8rambino
I read it can contribute to hair loss too :(
Mavgurian
Cannot confirm.
sweetbeatdown
Been masturbating for 20+ yrs. Head full of hair.
thegr8rambino
maybe ur scalp is not sensitive to DHT or something, my hair has been falling out since last may or so :(
kanemano
ignite her passions, not her clothes
TheMagicGoat
Where's that fetish dragon when you need it?
ImPickingUpWhatYourePuttingDown
This was my favorite
RobertAvila
Easy there Steve Avery
StripperGloves
TIL people sometimes set fire to their SO's clothes.
ThisUserProfileWillSelfDestructIn321
It was a horrible hookah accident we no longer discuss....
kanemano
it's the easy way to get rid of those pesky bloodstains
ArtsyChelsea
"It's that time of the month again. Hand over the La Perla." FWOOSH!
ionlyunderstandsomereferences
That took an unexpected turn.
StatelyRavenOfTheSaintlyDaysOfYore
yeah it's really annoying when they bleed out of an orifice every month.
StripperGloves
Seems like overkill.
ecodude
There's no kill like overkill
zdarlights
Brush your teeth at least 18 seconds
TheReaper95
That doesn't stop my wisdom teeth from coming through.
TiniestFox
Harold brushed 32 teeth 32 times....
IsAnythingReallyReal
Loved this movie! Great ref!
angrierpanda
don't waste your time, waste her time
Lvl21RunescapeGuard
And have a nice glass of OJ after
onegiantsizedshitbitchbear
With a penis
ruferto
woah, i have way too many teeth. gotta take it slower than that baby
Illyric
#transientbacteremia
OmicronPerseiEight
Don't forget to floss
BadlandZ
And then masturbate.
stevenwonder
each
moonXbeam
the comments this evening are extremely entertaining
ThatLemonStealingHorse
Also 100 pushups, 100 sit-ups
pookieeatworld
Don't eat yellow snow.
Onzid
per week
spiceass9000
After seeing the replies how the fuck long are@u suppose to brush ure teeth?
MrVacuumBrainBimbo
Dentist told me no longer than 90 seconds. I used to brush for 5+ minutes and as a result wore away enamel and fucked up my gums.
HerrBisch
2 minutes. I am astounded that somebody would suggest 18 seconds is long enough!
thegirlwiththegrayheart
2 minutes its about right
atombongsmoker
I thought it was 2 minutes. I might be wrong.
GerhardRammelhausen
3 Minuten where I come from
GerhardRammelhausen
*minutes.... -Auto-correct
iwantacorgi
Sing the happy birthday song in your head while brushing
ThisUsernameIsNoLongerAvailableIsStillNotEvenAvailable
If you're using that to judge how long to brush for then you are not brushing long enough at all
judyblue
Wait, seriously? That's, like, nine seconds. You should brush for two minutes.
itsimpossibletofindausernamethatisnttaken
happybirthdaytome,happybirthdaytome,happybirthdaydearme,happybirthdaytome
ThatLemonStealingHorse
That's while washing your hands, and you're supposed to sing it twice. Source: extensive daycare experience.
smurfster
That's for hand washing
iwantacorgi
oh yeah, you right
MephistoJones
Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
everydaydentalist
Mitosis is...
BlueBomber05
*are
MephistoJones
Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
MephistoJones
Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
insertinterestingusernameplease
Midichlorians are the powerhouse of the force
killer10347
As are rapists.
MephistoJones
Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
insertinterestingusernameplease
Midichlorians are the powerhouse of the force
MephistoJones
Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.