beenbannedb4
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Dec 19, 2016 4:28 PM
beenbannedb4
386605
9578
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skatersarah02
But you just barely met him
Dabosaurous
Bush came to shove I guess.
InboxMeYourBeards
Imma take this approach next time. I'm sick of shaving and getting NOTHING
DidgeryDrew
I don't get why ladies think they need a whole lotta lady scaping. Hair is a good thing!
and0ne
HogRed
We don't care. Just happy to be invited.
dchickis2016
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW...memories of my ex
AndIHaveNoIdeaWhatToPutHere
HuntingButcher
User name does not check out
PollyThePuss
At first I thought you meant the carpet on your living room floor.
ichrisis
Pro-tip: thirsty guys will say anything to get into the sack
MrMusclePants
As a Brit, is this really such a big deal?
AbyssalGigantism
In the immortal words of Dwayne Michael Carter Jr.: "Long hair? Don't care."
ThisIsNoCave
Congrats on the sex, OP
zeldaislovezeldaislife
I'll take "things that never happened " for $500, Alex.
MyNegev
didnt happen
PawnWhoreder
Girl's with bush are great, lucky him!
ElecTech
Unless it's a burning bush.
manamarish
ThunderTodd
Ah the magic of alcohol on a first date.
scatmanCrothers
Breaking the ice on a first date by discussing pubes.
CongratsYouAreHereNow
breaking the ice on a first date by getting "really drunk" drunk enough to discuss pubes
scatmanCrothers
Alcohol is a social lubricant.
brotheralphonse
Never got why women need to trim down there when men usually never manscape.
Lfa3
My partners always trimmed or shaved, tho I believe it's more common with them here.
thebestimgurian
dude , shave that shit... women don't want fucking hair in there mouth while sucking dick or balls , am I right ladys ?
Ponden
You are not wrong.
AnActualTsundere
Men usually never manscape? Not only is that a trainwreck of a sentence, but a trainwreck of a statement too.
brotheralphonse
Yeah, i guess i mean to say most men don't.
AnActualTsundere
I think it depends on the country a lot.
SasjaSmolderslikesyourdog
All these assholes calling you a slut, I hope they go around saying that same shit to dudes who talk about sex.
SasjaSmolderslikesyourdog
Congrats on the sex, OP. Fuck the haters (not literally, they don't deserve you, they are probably happier rage jerking it alone)
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SasjaSmolderslikesyourdog
The thing is, she isn't you. You don't want to have sex right away, that's your thing. Good for you.
SasjaSmolderslikesyourdog
It doesn't make you morally superior.
SasjaSmolderslikesyourdog
It's just sex, you decide to wait, she decided not to. Two adults had consenting sex. That's a win.
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SasjaSmolderslikesyourdog
Use a condom. Get tested often. You can just as easily get an STI from a 2/3/4/5 date as you can fun a first date.
Memesters123
Obligatory "better love story than twilight"
bobbummanwitdaequipmunk
gorgeousninja
I hate when women shave you're meant to look like a woman not a girl.
Mammasheen
You are meant to do whatever you want. It's your minge!
Veckzis
"It's your minge, and I want it now!"
Mammasheen
Well you're only human
soithascometothiswasalreadytaken
He lied so he can fuck you
vzii
I guess you didn't actually claim this story, but a very suspicious favorite gallery for a girl. Or talking about sticking your "D" in crazy
Bigal1027
something is definately fishy here, and I dont think its his vigina
KimchiQueen
Boy howdy, just wait until I tell you about bisexuals, your mind will be blown
TwoBoobs
Idk, I'm a bi lady and I talk about my "D" sometimes. I just think it's funny, but I def have a "V".
TwoBoobs
But their favorites are super suspicious.
Promethianfire
Maybe she's bi.
windaddict
If she's a bi, she has no D to stick nowhere
magicpantsmcd
I talk about my metaphorical dick all the time. Such as "suck my dick" "I'm freezing my dick off". I'm a classy lady.
windaddict
are you bi?
magicpantsmcd
What does that have to do with anything?
fbutt09
TerribleAwful
shaggy?
Tehadam
we're out here and he's in there and he's the sheriff.
fiddlewheelx
Thats bombastic
123somethingcreative123
I was thoroughly convinced I didn't want to see whatever the link was. I clicked anyway. I was wrong. I definitely wanted to see that.
MrJimmyC
imgur.com/fLz42C8.gif
sandwichmunchies
it wasnt me
Daedravex
If it's shaggy then just cover it in peanut butter
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UncleGus
This deserves waaaaay more upvotes.
areallycreativeusername
Wasn't me
ReloadedGaussCannon
Best gif usage I've seen in a while. +1 to you
DarkMaster98
ThatGuyNoOneKnows
Not quite
SpekldBirdNuts
How long have you been waiting to use this? However long, it was worth it.
SolomonCane
Please be Scooby-Doo. Please be Scooby-Doo. OH, THANK GOD!
ireallylikebutts
Ssssssssssss
Watch him swooce right in
NotACanadian
Watch me swooce right in
CloudyIncantations
Because more people need to be informed on this matter https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gghBcjgOdd0
Ssssssssssss
You're doing god's worth. Now give me a hand job, skooks!
NotACanadian
Boy am I glad he's frozen in there and we're out here and he's the sheriff and we're in there and I just remembered we're out here
ScientologistSeaOtter
shagadelic
shaggy715
Thats actually my steam tag. add me. 2 G's tho
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[deleted]
shaggy715
Found it
NoOpinionsAllowed
I swear to god if this gif loads and it's a fucking scooby doo reference
TerraformTrent
Why, check this out. I'm SUPER SHAG!
Caniac
Close...
Wonfis
Shaggeh.
potatomajor
You. You did what I was going to do. +1
Caniac
It wasn't me
potatomajor
I'd tell you that I'm sorry for the thing that I'd done, but it wasn't me either...
pikmints
Something something something carpet.
DougDimmadomeOwnerOfTheDimsdaleDimmadome
Watch me swooce right in
Ssssssssssss
SWOOCE!
SpaghettiFox
SWOOCE
theuncommon56
ZOINKS!
CaptainMaximum
what a heart wrenching story of victory against all odds
lkat
Doth thou speak of country matters?
lindabee
Hahahahaha...love this. :)
MyDumpsAreTheFreshest
I think there's a movie about this amazing true story over at PornHub.
ExplainTheJoke
Truly the defining story of our time.
CaptainMaximum
I will tell my children, who will tell their children.
TehStoner
Yea, just looked at the posts, this dipshit is a reposter, so its probably not true
CaptainMaximum
Sigh. Nothing is real. Strawberry fields forever.
Blastergv9
Against all odds? Just because I prefer a runway doesn't mean I won't land in a cornfield with a smile on my face
CaptainMaximum
You misunderstand. In my culture, this is how people express the, how you say, "cool story bro".
onlyveganreplys
"dick dont care" - william shakespeare
macivers
Is that in one of the sonnets?
EdButterfield
Sonnet 69 - "One is aware of the bush down there / And frankly, ma'am, my dick don't care"
alittletime
Dick has'th place to be
tittiemcjiggleboots
Iambic pentameter at its finest
EdButterfield
Unfortunately I could only muster iambic quadrameter on this occasion, apologies
MyDumpsAreTheFreshest
He was lying. At the end of the day, push comes to shove, we give no fucks ultimately just as long as it doesn't stink.
thisisthefirstoneitried
*He was honest. At the end of the day, we want to push and shove, to give fucks ultimately, unless maybe it stinks
Unquote
i can handle stink too.
Fakenrite
Not gunna lie, I definitely give a fuck on the level of maintenance down there.
DanCutter
Amen, brutha.
pandasmakemehappy
Preach. But really a bit of bush is AWESOME.
Vedar
Like a fine cheese, you want a bit of smell.
AsparagusP
Plenty of fucks.
gordonloet
I strongly disagree
NotASecretVampire
Meh even if it stinks we will 7 times out of 13 poke ya in the pink.
Mimsey
Hey, I'm a fan of some bush. It's unique in this day and age. So long as it's not grown out longer than my beard, I'm fine with it.
InnocentReever8
Challenge accepted
ExtremeAndViolentButtFun
Smells and looks like the Swamps of Dagobah and just as wet.
2DollarBillsAreEvil
Not gonna lie, in my virgin days a stanky vagina didn't even tear me away.
VeryMoistTowelettes
raidleadergutts
Disagree. I don't like body hair, so I shave & I expect the same courtesy. Like I don't need to see my reflection, but I don't really want 1
raidleadergutts
to have to wade through a forest. Be a little hygenic people, it's not that difficult. 2
PeacefulWarfare
I don't like hairy women. I'll smash in the moment, but there wouldn't be a repeat.
thesejarsareforfartsonly
Just from some hair? You know she could shave it if there would be a next time? Not that you'd deserve it
raidleadergutts
A forest isn't "just some hair". I shave, & I don't want to see my fucking reflection, just don't wanna delve into a jungle.
PeacefulWarfare
A little bit that's groomed is fine. If it's untamed than it's a no go.
raidleadergutts
So many downvotes from unkempt women & desperate white knights offended that some men have standards.
PeacefulWarfare
I was going to make a comment about the mass downvoting. I'll take my lashes in pride though
thesejarsareforfartsonly
Is that your excuse for never getting laid?
PeacefulWarfare
You're so adorable to assume you know anything about my life. Sure that you aren't projecting a bit?
bvtthole
If men and women alike would stop speaking for their whole gender that'd be great.
pragmatao
And then...
freezemichaelscoon
"Bush" comes to shove would have been clever there.
supersaiyansenpai
https://bodylanguagenoob.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/untitled.png?w=450
nottheactualcannibalshialabeouf
Says you, buddy. If I can't find it, I can't fuck it.
thisisthefirstoneitried
*He was honest. At the end of the day, we want to push and shove, to give fucks ultimately, unless maybe it stinks
Emac94
I'm not a guy but I would imagine it only makes a difference if he goes down on her?
TacticalSergeant
Especially the older I get... as long as it seems clean.
Linkthebarbarian
"Seems"
howdoyouspellpretentious
Bahahaha
Dalylah
This applies to both genders, too. Clean your fun bits you stinky humans! So many men don't clean up because they are "manly" men.
onlyveganreplys
na he wasnt lying - i like bush too. but u right about the last bit
CrazyCatLad
I love hairy pussy. And shaved pussy. But I prefer a kempt bush.
MyDumpsAreTheFreshest
lol I know. I mean, not that it's not possible he doesn't prefer shaved vag's. But ya. Was more joking with that part.
beenbannedb4
LOL at 'push comes to shove'
Tom40
That wasn't supposed to be your reaction to the pushing and shoving.
PlatoOrPotato
"bush comes to shave"
herewegoat
Aren't you a dude? Your profile suggests so
purduebb
Asking the real questions
ImmaNeedBoutTreeFiddy
I just had a look too. I call bullshit on this post
BukkakeAntiAgingCream
Can i get a hallelujah
VeryMoistTowelettes
littleBreaker
True but then semen *always* stinks, good hygiene, bad hygiene, infection, no infection... always.
atossablesalad
I like turtles.
Syikho
Zerkk
I like you.
walkingholiday
As a woman I can't imagine it ever getting that bad.. does that seriously happen? I would be terrified lmao.
VeryMoistTowelettes
Believe it or not, some women don't shower
Nikolai5
I was once going down and really struggled not to gag. She wasn't my girlfriend thankfully. I've slept with prostitutes that were cleaner.
LionOfRome
I'm not entirely sure that's something to be proud of
DrRobotHouse
nothing wrong with prostitutes tbh.
MyDumpsAreTheFreshest
Everyone reading this far: Especially you youngins... please, please don't believe everything you read on the internet. Especially on Imgur.
HandBear
Prostitutes don't exist
Nikolai5
It's entirely true. Brothels in Soho London are all over the place. Plainly advertised...
BeardandBeer336
I've never expected sex on the first date, especially a blind date. Did they change the 3 date rule? Am i getting old and prudish? Damn kids
Heatsir
Stay off my sex lawn! <--- get it, pubes = sex lawn, old people say "get off my lawn"...Ill go now.
thehungriestandy
Nah, OP just moves fast
afterdinneromelets
I personally wouldn't do it but I also don't really see anything wrong with it as long as all parties consent & nobody feels pressured.
ddkong86
I honestly never expected it, but i have met / slept with a girl in the same day before. Extrapolate, and yes it happens.
imgurlpowerpuff
First base is anal.
strangledbyaturtleneck
I'm one of them damned old and prudish kids
JunWasHere
Short of vasectomy, sex always carries risk of pregnancy, so sex on a first date is just reckless, imo. Hookup culture is a thing though...
DoWeRllyKnowThisGuy
Going out your door carries a risk of dying too, going outside is reckless! Condom or pill and you're fine ( if you want 100% safe stay in )
JunWasHere
You're being a binary twat. People can date AND not have sex on the first date, that's the huge "middle ground" where people are reasonable.
skibare87
I'm gay, sex usually happens before the first date.
PeacefulWarfare
This isn't actually a rule. Every situation varies.
GerberLegalTeam
As a guy, I've started sticking to the "no sex till the third date rule" it resulted in a great relationship.
IsOgBrus
It could have been in Norway. That would explain it.
tacoparlor
It is because you are getting old, but you're also better off because this generation is thirsty af, no self control and no class.
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tacoparlor
No one said it's shameful. But do you know the marshmallow experiment? People are WAY too eager. No class or depth, just "ah wunna sex u."
Thefluffernutter
"No one said it's shameful" *continues to shame the sexually active by calling them thirsty and classless*
tacoparlor
Hahaha, good try. You're making your own arguments up and arguing with them at this point, nothing I've said has made it through. Enjoy!
pencilv3ster
It's just personal preference. I've had it either way. First night or 3 months later, depends on the girl and chemistry.
TerryFoldFlaps
Op is a dirty slut looking for some stank pole.
popejubal
I've only ever had sex on the first date once. I did marry her, though, so that rule obviously doesn't apply to everyone.
Harkencur
Did you get married on the first date? (just kidding, but still...)
Mastero777
The new rule is anal on the first date.
CityYeti
yeah, the first rule is: don't give a fuck
secondgoaround
Sex on the first date, married twelve years.
VodkaReindeer
Sex isn't the weird part about the story, it's telling him about her carpet..
SvarvSven
thirsty
coolandelite
I would say it's at least 50/50 on the bush loving train. I'm a proud member
thisistinder
Always upvote "Damn kids."
DontMindMeImAnAssHole
I slept with my SO on our first date, it happens.
Beanbag96
Recently I went to see a girl for the first time, ended up having sex and sleeping with her. So either they did change it, or I'm a hoe.
SorryThisUsernameHasBeenTaken
I had sex on the first date with my SO and we have been together nearly 6 years. If it feels right, why not?
Gray808
I always thought the "three date" rule was more: "If, after the third date, you haven't gotten busy, it ain't gonna happen."
wickld
I would not go on a 2nd or 3rd date if there was no chance. You calling it off at #3 is losing you conservative women who might be great.
Gray808
I call off when I realize I'm not interested. By #3, I should have a good handle on that, and if they are interested in me. Otherwise, (1/2)
Gray808
we are both just wasting each other's time. (2/2)
IHaveAPhrasalUserNameLikeThisOneCauseTheyAlwaysGetTheTopComment
As a really withdrawn, socially awkward guy, I have a hard time imagining having sex with someone in less than a couple months.
WhereIsHockeyPants
You aren't alone, there are in fact, several of us.
Kaofael
One of us, One of us, One of us....
Dreamhaax
Hookups are rather common, atleast in northern EU. The relationship usually lasts longer, if you can keep the d!ck in ur pants on first date
mydailydoseofantidepressantsisyourbooty
It's the three date rule for those who are looking for a serious relationship. Otherwise, you just bang on the first date cuz it's fun.
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pandasmakemehappy
Depends on the situation and person. I personally would find sex on the first date to be a turn off, but hey if that's your thing do you.
pandasmakemehappy
Well, do them.
Thefluffernutter
So you'd just not have sex then, right? You wouldn't have sex with the person and then judge them for sleeping with you too soon, right?
pandasmakemehappy
Obviously if it's a turn off I wouldn't be having sex with them. Read instead of getting your feathers ruffled.
Thefluffernutter
Which is why I asked, buckaroo.
blurgh
Swipe right on hundreds of people on an app in your phone. Fuck everyone who replies
thisplaceisnotforyou
As a gay man I have 2 rules: Not on the first date, and not until I know his last name. Sometimes you can have multiple dates in 1 night.
ThePrimrose
Well casual sex had been a thing for a while. But usually you don't end up with the person you fucked so early on. I did but hey it happens
ElecTech
It lasted five and a half years for me.
Cananadamn
Hey me too!
Pubert1
I never expect it but I make damn sure I'm prepared if it does
grumpatsurrisrex
I put out on the first date more often than not. Sex is fun. As long as I'm being safe, I don't see any reason not to boink the hotties.
ninmonkey
Boink? Jinkies.
grumpatsurrisrex
Shtup, canoodle, engage in the no pants dance, rug munch, take a trip to pound town...call it what you will.
ninmonkey
I'm not taking a trip to pound town with my gas mileage.
grumpatsurrisrex
I've started calling my partners "naughty bedfellows" and would like to know the best verb for that
magicpantsmcd
If I'm feeling it, I'm feeling it.
grumpatsurrisrex
One of my closest friends keeps making fun of me for it. Kinda absurd considering we were acquaintances until we decided to fuck.
Rasui
Sounds jealous to me
grumpatsurrisrex
I wish. She's the best I've had.
cleverbeans
It's rare that I don't get action by the second date but I treat women as peers and don't immediately sexualize them so that might be why.
SonicBoomYourFamily
I agree. Times are a'changin'. Apparently the kids these days view eating asshole as mandatory, just how my gen views bjs and eating pussy.
YouAreMyFetish
I do not want anyone eating my ass.
girlwiththephoenixtattoo
I've gotten more liberal in my old age. I'm experienced, I know what I want, we're both adults, we have needs. Fuck the rules.
SaraSlaughter
Meeee too. Amen. As a 41 year old woman, my needs are higher now than ever, and I'm single. D'oh! Safely = Get It In!
Flyndaran
But some of us need to take things "slowly" not jump into bed before we know them. Different strokes for different folks though.
AmITheOnlyWomanOnImgur
Cheers! Yes. That's what I love about being older!
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EruditeAphrodite
Hell, my husband and I had sex before our first date. 6 years married and still going strong.
WellshitIcantThinkofAusername
its and old rule. but it checks out, i still go by that code. most people today go for sex quickly
LittleKnownOne
First date? Dates are rare and anyone you are on a date with is currently 'shagging' 2-3 Tinder dudes who sent a romantic "Lemme Smash" text
squatlow17
Oh God, I must be really old school. I'd wait at least 6 date before sex. Other fun, applicable prior of course.
MyLuggageAteMyHomework
I don't do sex at all unless I'm fully committed to the person so you're not the only outlier :)
Biggerboot
Every relationship i've been in that has sex before 3 months has been shallow, I think that the time allows for the truest emotional connect
FeckItImAubreyPlazaNow
I waited until I got engaged. The internet has told me I'm a stupid prude.
Flyndaran
We waited around 2 months and felt a bit overcome with feelings for being that soon. Different strokes for different folks.
6313326
My sis-in-law asked how many guys I'd been with. I told her my husband was the 4th (married @29). She looked at me like I was an alien.
squatlow17
2. That is my number. 2.
6313326
Right? She was aghast that I was so "inexperienced". 2 LTR & one attempt at a casual fling (I hated it) + husband was fine by me.
squatlow17
Not many partners doesn't make you inexperienced.
AvadonyaTheSilverGrapefruit
Same ! Highfive !
PendingStatistic
1. Husbanded.
atairov
You're not the only one.
decimecano
it's more fun that way,
chimchim666
*hand-written note that reads: i can do what i want*
Archeangel2020
Date one, Coffee Shop: Kissing. Date Two, Dinner or Movie: Oral. Date Three Netflix and Chill: Bring A Condom
The4thWiseMan
How does one get to the initiation stage at a coffee shop? Seems so forced..
YourMomsNewBoyfriend
When you part ways at the end
Archeangel2020
Corner booths are good so are sofas, the objective is to get close to them and talk to them.
The4thWiseMan
Probably makes a lot of sense to you, but I just can't see how that works out.. it's weird.. but take my upvotes for systematic-ness
Archeangel2020
I'm a salesman these little tricks, like sitting one the same side to bring down defenses, come second nature to me.
BeardandBeer336
Right?! That's my routine.
HolyHolopov
Am I the only one who feels oral is waaay more personal than regular sex? Sex is mutual enjoyment, oral is giving/taking.
Archeangel2020
Kinda, I still think penetration is a bigger step than oral or petting
FrozenInCarbonite
Agreed.
YourMomsNewBoyfriend
Bingo
mormacil
PSA: Use condoms for oral as well :P
Archeangel2020
Yes MOOOOOOOOOM.
CaptainMaximum
May as well just jerk off at that rate. In 10 years of sex-having I have yet to meet a person who does this. It's not going to happen.
burgerandy
That scene in Booty Call where they use plastic wrap before cunnilingus.. hahahahahha
borringnumber
Happens with prostitutes, I am OK with that.
CaptainMaximum
I'd probably just opt to skip that part and go right to fucking. Time is money, y'know!
Datsinginguy
Don't judge. Just be you
murmelzor
I almost always had sex on first date. Not proud, but balls don't go blue. Which makes me happy.
ctrlore
You... you know they don't actually... go blue, right?
murmelzor
Then why is Gargamel lurking around?!
Brad2217
If the bra matches the panties, she was expecting to show them off that night.
PhilDunphyIsMySpiritAnimal
Truth though.
SoDaSexy
Rule I follow for the first date is that I don't expect sex, but am always open to it. ;) It tends to work out just fine.
jiynxed
neither i nor my wife EVER had sex on the first date. until we went on OUR first date. but that entire date was unprecedented for us.
MyDumpsAreTheFreshest
Bigtreebah
Youts
TresusIbor
What's a yute?
MoreOftenThanNot
You know, a yute.
Efreeti
This gif was ruined for me when I saw the video clip and heard how he says it.
grotesquecrayon
I understand. I even saw the show first and then the gif, but I still feel like the gif makes it seem like he emphasises it more.
Efreeti
Yep, gif made it look to me like he barks "YOUTHss", but the real voice line is a less angry "yoOOUuthssss"
FireatWill
My wheels were stolen by street youths
LadyNetrex
No rules! People should just follow their hearts!
Daedravex
Well the only way i can have sex is if she's blind
SpaticalDendrite
I met my current gf online and the first time we met we got drunk out of our minds and fu**ed whatever was left out them lol
adddaaaammmmm
I love this comment so much
Onlyhereforthelaughs
I'm on date #40 and GF still insisting on taking things slow. Apparently GLACIALLY slow.
BeardandBeer336
40? Is that a typo?
Onlyhereforthelaughs
No.
Falador
Maybe she's not actually attracted to you? FORTY dates with NOTHING doesn't even sound possible.
Lfa3
It is completely normal for low libido people. Source: am one.
bingotown
If that's absolutely okay with you, then it's okay. Otherwise it's a huge red flag.
whatsisname
Also depends on the age. At 18, may be reasonable. At 30, fuck no.
Onlyhereforthelaughs
I'm not exactly thrilled, but the companionship I get is better than nothing while I wait for her to be ready. Eventually.
ctrlore
Don't listen to others. They seem to have completely forgotten about the old "waiting until marriage" saying. If you think they're the one
ctrlore
Then it's worth it. That being said IMO I think that view is a little dated.
Onlyhereforthelaughs
I agree. I've never been the Save-it-for-marriage type by choice. But, she's ready when she's ready. :\
ProbablyDrunkAgain
She must have you in her phone as "Free food".
Donnadidit
Same.
Helpp
We're just getting old man.
NickBlacksHumor
Most girls in my experience if the first date is great you get it on the 2nd. But really just depends plus alcohol was involved here
imgurlpowerpuff
alcohol is the best.
ElecTech
Incontinence underwear and alcohol... you have some unusual fetishes.
StoneThrowingDevil
No one sets the rules but you. Everyone is different man!
TomZarekForVicePresident
I'm banging three women right now!
ElecTech
* and the person you're with.
StoneThrowingDevil
I did mean it this way yes, I didn't think I'd need to clarify. Maybe that's naivety on my part
Storyainthadnomoral
In FAIRNESS though, some people is different woman, too?
StoneThrowingDevil
I'm not sure I follow?
Storyainthadnomoral
Who cares anyway. Aphrodite - Stalker. What a tune? That'll turn Hare Krishna into a bad boy
gseccles
I'm Ron Burgundy?
Foxsayy
Good on you, not seeing gender. Or wait, is that race?
Storyainthadnomoral
In FAIRNESS
GoofedAllOverYourFace
That sounds like a particularly appalling superhero
yourmomisminenow
or a psycho, "your laws don't apply to ME!"
The4thWiseMan
What's your specialty " idk.. I'm different n' stuff.. Yano?"
TheClayKnight
I could see elementary schools coming up wit a character like that.
GovernmentNipples
It's a bird, it's a plane, no... It's EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT MAN!
MrZiddz
Is it terrible that with the majority of women ive slept with, it happened within a few hours of meeting them?
SaFalken
My first date with my now fiancee almost lead to sex, but something came up. Raincheck until the next evening. (bowchickawowow)
mitchconnor
Huh, usually it's when something doesn't come up that sex doesn't work.
CharlesFuckingBronson
No, the third date rule is still: "no ass to mouth before the third date." Was it ever anything else?
DownvotesAreMyNectar
Oh man, every date with a lady before now has ended in at least a nosh. I date girls with the best standards
IlikedogsANDcats
What is a "nosh"?
njotr
It’s Yiddish for food, so I guess @DownvotesAreMyNectar takes his dates out to some kosher place for dinner?
LordNoodles
It was our dining hall back at school
WardSharlow
It's when you have nibbles with some other fressers.
MundaneFinality
A foodtruck in seattle. Pretty good fish and chips, but the minted peas are disgusting.
TheThoroughbredOfSinBadHorse
Wtf is a minted pea
MundaneFinality
That's what I said. It tastes as gross as it sounds. but the overall meal is good enough anyway.
[deleted]
[deleted]
TheThoroughbredOfSinBadHorse
I thought that was snogging?
CanadasOnlyBlackGuy
Oh you're right. I was thinking of snogging
idontlikecricket
O honey
xxMycroftxx
I've never EXPECTED sex on the first date, but sometimes I get sex on the first date.
Doya
Zoroasterisk
ChristopherHaarlock
This speaks to me on a horrifyingly new level now that I'm thirty..
Floorbook
Warzone12
I'm so glad I wasn't the only one who thought of this
AntiEvil007
Galaxianimations
UpsetFace
ConspiracyTheoristsLilBrother
tehruffledjimmies
Yes
Themanman
Sometimes it just happens. I've been with girls who I didn't even kiss until the 7th date. They were jus worth the wait
GarikFaceLoran
My best friend went a whole year before having sex with his, then, girlfriend. They also dated for 10 years before marrying.
tehruffledjimmies
^
TheNoblePizzaDragonWhoLivesInYourFridge
I'm 18 and since I'm a christian I believe in nothing till marrige, but I don't know if I would honestly be able to hold onto that, and in
TheNoblePizzaDragonWhoLivesInYourFridge
this day and age thinking about it makes me feel like some sort of 1500s outcast
TheNoblePizzaDragonWhoLivesInYourFridge
then again I'm a 460 pound fedora-wearing brony so my virginity will be protected until the heart attack gets me
OldIronsides
reacata
What a roller coaster of emotions
Knillis
But... Fedora-guys are atheists. KEEP TO THE STEREOTYPE
TheOneGalen
You're me but with half the years and twice the weight, then? Still unmarried virgin here, and it does get rough sometimes.
FlexSeed
Try less rules and more "play by feel"
Technophiliac
yeah, a more "hands on" approach
djknetic
Works for Trump
Silent1fd
Do you want aids? Cause that's how you get aids.
NeverLye
You are not wrong, but condoms do exist and there is more to sex than penis in vagina.
ThicketOfThought
ThicketOfThought
WhatsAJib
BurroWreck
According to one of my friends 5th date is anal.
Kyrremann
I'm curious how it's supposed to go from anal...
AlkeneThiol
Then you fuck her soul. Third base is shitting on her cosmic superstrings. Home is fucking her mother in the past to become her father
saltyslug
You deserve better than the points you'll receive while nested four comments deep. Have a +1 anyway.
bigfloppydonkydong
... mouth. According to the self help videos I watch.
WhiskeyTangoFedora
JuliusMedius
VigorousButtstuff
Double fisting, golden showers, then incest with her and her mother. In that order.
CChowder
I've seen this a few times before but I still don't know what it's from.
WhatsAJib
I think it's Bee Movie.
DrKriegersClone
Darude Sandstorm.
kaovalin
Backdoor Sluts 9
ImmaNeedBoutTreeFiddy
Sesame Street
Damos1
Bad Samaritans s01 e04
searsjm79
This appears to be the correct answer and yet has the least points.
altrdgenetics
Star Wars
CChowder
Is... is this a Rogue One spoiler? Please say it is.
mitchconnor
Yes, the new rule is that you should go on a date if you've had sex three times.
AlmightyOski
Yeah basically
Orkimond
I have legitimately never dated a girl without having had sex. That could lead to bedroom sadness and therefor relationship sadness.
Jobby86
I would upvote that twice if I could
mylovelyhangover
That's honestly how it's been for my and other gay relationships around me. Sex first, date later.
SpaceKen
Too be fair, 2 gay dudes could bang for years before ever thinking of dating...
afriendofmine
How do you expect me NOT to hate you for your sexuality when you have it so easy and my hand is all hairy? I'M THE VICTIM HERE.
Takavos
I approve this message
ASilenceOfThreeParts
thegreenknight7
Been married to wife 5 years on the 17th, together for 11 years. Sex like 3 or 4 times before we went on a date.
Thedragonprincess
That's how the Nordic countries do it.
LakrisalLover
very much indeed
ForgivingCat
We check if the sex is good and go from there.
TerryCrews
Plus, gotta stay warm somehow.
BeatsBearsBattlestarGallactica
But like... accurate.
ButYouAintGotNoLegs
That's probably accurate for my husband and me.
badmagic
Infinityblue
To be fair that's what we did in my current relationship
sprocketstodockets
Are yah happy? If so, fuck cultural norms. You do you
Infinityblue
So happy. Fucking cultural expectations can kiss my ass
Saffron89
IncrediblyCleverUsername
Ditto. Met my current gf on craigslist looking for a casual hookup. Been in a relationship with her for 5 years now lol
IPutAHexOnYou4c6f7665206d65
i aimed to have a one-night-stand for the first time, dude wasn't giving in, ended up marrying him 13 years ago. Met him at a cafe.
bluetractor
Same! Now 4 and a half years in.
bababazinga
Wonderful gif usage!
WilliamHuskerAdama
God I miss House.
bababazinga
I miss the original Cameron/Chase/Foreman trifecta.
RowRowFightThePowa
That is what happened with my ex and I. I expected FWB and a four days later I'm meeting her father.
syddevious
Me and my current 6 yr started off as casual sex then open relationship then a threesome then I asked her out on a real date 3 months in.
Infinityblue
Honestly I expected it to just be some rebound sex, and here we are a half a year later going strong.
RowRowFightThePowa
Well she was very sexual and I caught her messaging other guys. She evidently broke up with me and moved 3 hours away 7 months in.
Frogapus
I'm really bad at that. I keep going down on guys on the first date because I'm insecure and want approval.
BeardandBeer336
I bet your inbox lit up after this comment.
Frogapus
Hah, no. I'm a trans woman and that scares off a lot of the potential dick pics. Guys are worried that I'm bigger than them.
BeardandBeer336
Oh that sucks. Well here's hoping you are blessed with a overabundance of dick pics and that you find the right dick for you.
iamdyslexicandbadatgrammariknow
That rule has always been more of a guideline than a rule. See Pirate Code
HugsWithForgetMeNots
Shiver me timbers on first daties, maties?
ninmonkey
Remember, before a pirate date always Swab the poopdeck!
dangershell
I live by the code
caboops
Take what you want and give nothing back!
DukeLetoofDune
My life got a lot easier after I started living by the code. A man needs to have a code.
WeFoundSomethingBeneathTheIce
Shh! Keith Richards could shoot you at any moment.
cgimw
I tried that, but it turns out that "Take what you can, " is generally frowned upon, especially when you give nothing back.
italianbillclinton
Welcome aboard the Black Pearl, Ms. Turner!
spud497
You'd best start believin' in ghost stories, Ms. Turner. You're in one!
FisterMantastic
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs, Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
AKsinfonian
Savvy?
WeepingAngelsReallyScareMe
Savvy.
BadTimesFriendAhead
Parr-lay?
magicpantsmcd
No parlay.
papayasown
Stonefruitlove
Parlé!
ninmonkey
Gesundheit
Stonefruitlove
Danke
RezDogLover
Well.....I dated my BF for a solid year before we slept together. I know that's more than most people but 3 dates? Too soon for me.
IceVamp
I'm not going to invest a year in a person, then find out we're not a good match in the sack.
RezDogLover
I'm not going to sleep with a person, then find out they're not worth dating. You do you, I'll do me. Turns out my BF is great in bed.
IceVamp
That's nice! I realise it might have come across as taking a shot at you. Not my intent. Merry christmas!
Flyndaran
Not all of us consider sex more important than love and friendship. But you do you, so to speak.
IceVamp
Probably most of us don't consider sex more important than those things. Myself included. But it is important, personally.
Flyndaran
You're implying that just removing sex negates the relationship. But continue to deny what you're saying to yourself. Not my life.