That’s fine, but this clip doesn’t prove the point, because everyone who’s watched House, MD knows he is not into her and used the “we work together” as an excuse not to go out with her, but since he didn’t want to hurt her feelings by plainly rejecting her, AND it was true he married a coworker, he said- sure.
Sometimes getting your foot in the door is still good. Maybe the date doesn't work out. But maybe it does. The guy might not be into her but perhaps the date shows him a different side of her he does like. Or vice versa, the date makes the girl realize she's not that into him. As long as they're both mature they can have a good time even if there's never a second date.
It's been almost 30 years and I remember the terrible sexual harassment video from my teenage job at a movie theater. Those things are just full of unintentional comedy.
Please for the love of God don't be afraid to ask first. I've met at least three women who said they were interested in me years ago but never said anything and I'm just sitting here like "I could have dated this amazing person"? And it sucks. I just generally assume nobody is interested in me because well...that's usually the case
All I've wanted, my entire life, is for women to simply be forward and honest with me. If you like me. Say hey, I like you. Want to go do something? Hell yeah. I do not pick up on subtle social cues and flirting and most men are the same way. Unless you're a scumbag player, most men respect women and don't push ourselves on them. So when a woman approaches us, it's awesome cuz we don't have to feel like a douchebag when we get rejected trying to approach a girl we like.
3.) She began crying during dinner because I had once golfed with her recent ex-husband. Then she proceeded to tell me how he had ruined their lives. 2.) She cancelled the date an hour ahead of time, asked if I could help her move. Evicted. 1.) Great first date. 2nd date she invited a bunch of her girlfriends to my house, drank the house dry and passed out on the back deck.
she knows he is married and still asks him out? why doesn't he use that as an excuse to not go out with her? and why do we keep flashing to the woman in red? is she his wife?
Go watch "house" to understand. Too much to explain. Or yano, dont and dont ask questions ur not willing to find the answers to. Ppl will TRY to give u full context but it'll be about 5 hours too short to fully grasp
In the show he was divorced at the time. And it was all one shot. It keeps panning to the other woman because they made a letterbox video into a vertical video. In the original all three are in the shot at once.
If you are going to crop the shot just to show half the image just let it run like that instead of doing those wipes to occasionally show the removed half that doesn't substantially add anything. Such a terrible and bizarre bit of editing.
funny..... It Did take awhile....five (5), one/week, two (2) in one week, Until a Good Friend of mine (and my future Wife), bashed me on the head and said to me, "....I Think You should go out With HER!!" Dared me, so I asked my Future Wife, out...
I did. I'm as old as the amount of your upvotes. Minus my upvote. And that woman is gorgeous! I said some ladies were above my league, but she's above my class altogether. She's so rich and classy, I don't even dare to daydream about her. Her insta is like textbook rich people family portrait.
The Asian girl is doctor Park, the first member of his post-prison team, assigned to it by Foreman who became dean after Cuddy left. The other one is dr Adams, he met the latter while in prison, she got fired for listening to his (an inmate’s) idea on how to treat a patient and later came to work for him in PPTC.
This man right here is so super awkward with "first contact." I was raised in a house full of women in the early 80s and digested lots of, like not necessarily anti man content - I still keep my keys in my hand on the way to my car - but I've internalized how most of the time, women (and most people) just want to be left alone to do their thing. It's hard for me to get the guts, even if I'm interpreting "signals," to bother hot or cool chicks in public who probably just want to be left alone.
It's not first contact, though; they're coworkers. He just isn't into her. "House" if you wanted to watch the show. Eight seasons, I think this was in the 8th.
Personally I've heard my whole life that men are pigs and women just want to be left alone, so I leave them alone. Seems to be working so far; I've never been a predator or abused a significant other. I'd be fighting a losing battle anyway; I'm tall, weird, autistic, hairy, very square posture, big beard, blunt, deep voice, and I walk quickly. Women seem afraid of me before I open my mouth.
I feel that. I dress like I never left high school (all black, tall socks with shorts, boots, etc) and for some reason apparently I don't blink very much compared to most people, so I creep people out. Like getting older means whatever we want it to mean and for me it didn't mean "growing up" lol, and I have accepted that means that I'm going to alienate people before I even meet them.
If you digested a lot of anti-man content in your household, that’s something you’ll need to heal from before you go for anyone. Darkness does not drive out darkness. Only light can do that.
It wasn't necessarily anti-man. I was probably too young to, for example, read Our Bodies Ourselves, and play with my legos in a room full of women talking about their abusers, or how a "nice guy" just wasn't. It has made me keenly aware a lot of time of my maleness and how that can be perceived by women even and especially when I'm just in the same space that they are in. It's so much easier to talk to people online lol. In 48 and basically been in three real relationships in my life.
Now you have your own life. Heal from it and use those two feet to walk away. Put those boundaries up and keep them firm. Live your life on YOUR terms. Stutter stepping doesn’t help you. It only hampers long term commitment. In order to win, really win, is to do the opposite of what is comfortable. Take a risk. Calculate the risk well but take the risk when it’s time. The time is now.
It’s freaking tough to approach a woman and be like ‘Fear not!’ That awkwardness always killed things for me, was only successful with very subtle efforts and mutual friends etc. luckily my wife made the first move 25 years ago.
The two relationships that I've had as an adult I didn't make the first move. My friend set me up with the woman that I ended up marrying in the 90s and when that relationship ended my brother set me up with my, I guess as of a couple of days ago, ex gf. What I feel sucks the most is prob because I grew up in a houseful of women I would generally speaking rather spend my time with them than other dudes or whatever so I very easily accept being friendzoned. Hard to date when you're ok with that.
I had to engineer a whole situation to try and encourage this guy I worked with to ask me on a date. He got in a car accident on his way to work (I definitely didnt have anything to do with that, just to clarify). I then: A. Covered his shift. B. Texted him offering to take him out for a “sorry you totaled your car” drink after working said shift. C. Drove 45 minutes out of my way to pick him up. D. Took him to a bar. E. Sat with him all night chatting and giving him every signal I could>
That's the admitted knife edge to walk, is having the empathy and understanding that women deal with a lot of attention they do not want on the routine, but also wanting to show an authentic interest in a person. I think there's a lot of sentiment that "I'd rather miss a chance, than be that asshole" and that's part of why a lot of women are observing they don't get asked out much. Not saying any of it is right or wrong, just seems to be a common theme.
Personally I was paying attention during #metoo et al. As someone who knows what cptsd is like, I'd rather die alone in my own shit than accidentally retraumatize someone who's been getting harassed/assaulted since they were, like, 10 years old, which is apparently the entire lighter voiced half of the human race...
It is. I'm moving back into the world after my 27 year marriage ended. I wasn't looking for anyone and my brother set me up with a chick I ended up dating for almost eight months (again I didn't make the first move.) I'm trying that whole "do the things you love and you will find someone to love" thing but man there just aren't a lot of women at metal and punk shows who are my age, haha, so fortunately nobody to offend or be rejected by, or potentially offend by being forward. IDK
Idk what age you are but come to Denmark, the average age at Copenhell (our local 4 day metal fesitval) is like 40+ 😂 I love it though, there is youmg and old, and everything inbetween, som have their small children with them, other are old pensionists! Its so cool amd there is lots of guys and gals 😉😅
But second: If you have a hobby (can be anything - board games, crocheting, attending lectures on sociology, jogging, etc.) and join a group that does it. People there are into at least one thing you are into, and might be into other things too. If you don't find your SO in one of these, at least you'll have fun. If you don't have a hobby, that is almost better - sign up for everything you remotely think you might like (not at the same time!) and go meet an incredible amount of new people.
I remember seeing a study around... the early 00's(?) that said 2/3 of marriages were between people that met at work. Probably changed some now with all the Internet meat markets, but still...
First I want to agree with you: we spend (or used to) over a third of our awake time in the office (a stat that likely puts it ahead of every other place in your life.) Chances are that's where you are going to find people you like. It's great too - you can have lunch together, meet at the water cooler, dating a coworker is the best thing in the world. On the other hand, working with with your ex (or, god forbid, exes) can be incredibly uncomfortable. It's a risk - and you can take it or refuse.
I've never been asked out by a man - I've always done the asking out and made the first move. That's how I nabbed my ex-husband and longterm ex-boyfriend. It does work, ladies. (Although not always.)
If a guy asks in person, he is labeled a creeper, stalker, or worse. On dating apps it takes 200+ asks for a single coffee date. There's a reason guys stopped asking.
There was a very good video explaining why the odds of dating apps are stacked against you. I'll try and find it again, but iirc one of the main points were that women don't like using apps, so there are significantly fewer women on there than men.
It's the most reliable way. I dont believe in my self enough to ask anyone out. If you wanna get with me you have to ask. I ain't getting arrested again
Helemaal gaaf hoor, I always have too (more or less - online dating is a bit different). I wonder if it’s a Dutch thing? I have a lot of dutch blood and I lived there for a few years. And I’m extremely direct.
Hahah, well, I've been turned down a whole lot (but I am below-average attractive). But I figure it's all a numbers game - statistically someone will say "yes" again.
I have always made the first move with all my girlfriends and wife. Although this one time,I was married, and at a bar. And this extremely shy and awkward yet down right sweet and beautiful young woman approached me in a bar and asked me if she could buy me a drink. I have rarely been so flattered in my life. I wish I communicated better, I just stammered, said I was married, and ran away in a complete flurry. I regret that interaction. But, I mean, I’m married, still could have been more adept.
I'm a very shy man when it comes to breaking the ice. Nearly every woman I've been with has approached me first. It's honestly such a relief because I inherently feel like I'm awkward and intruding despite people telling me I'm attractive and desirable. The most enduring and memorable relationships I've had have come from it. One day I hope I'll figure out how to keep them.
Honestly, as a guy, I feel it's maybe safer and easier for the woman to ask out the guy. Or at least they may be able to know/tell if we are single easier compared to the amount of times I haven't known when asking because of how quiet they are about thier personal lives and I'm awful about telling what's flirting directed at me or not...or maybe just my horrible bad luck in life in general.
It is the norm in the nordics, and it is really only in the US and UK where there is an expectation of men having to pursue and be chivalrous in "the west"
And some of us thank you for it. Some men (like myself) are utterly and completely clueless. I have minimal ability to pick up on subtle and not so subtle social cue and I appreciate it when women are straightforward and ask. Probably the only reason why I’m married and not hopelessly single.
And hey, it is damn nice when ladies ask you out. Though usually my brain does a few loops "what? me? me?". And ladies, ASK OUT and BE DIRECT, because quite often the male brain (or mine at least) understands indirect advances 24 hours later.
A long, long time ago there was a girl that would bring me homemade cookies while I was at work at least three times a week. I believe I made it clear to her that I was already in a relationship, but I also found the gesture cute and enjoyed the attention. We never went on any dates despite her persistence with the cookies. I think most people dislike the "I have a boyfriend" response, but accept it and take the hint. Don't spend an uneasy amount of time trying to flirt with 1/2
Someone at their workplace because they have a job to do and could get in trouble. I'm fairly certain that I got a young woman fired from a bar because I flirted for too long (holding hands together melting ice cubes) and convincing her to take a break she wasn't scheduled for
I apologize to you, Young Woman that I think got fired through my actions
This. Men are terrified of being misunderstood (at least a lot of the good ones are) when it comes to romantic advances. Don't beat around the bush and be direct. We're not mind readers and most of us don't do subtlety very well.
I tell my wife when she’s hinting at something I didn’t get “men are simple, we work on a 64k operating system with 8 basic colors (optional) and the syntax input needs to be exact or all you’ll get is the “ding” input error message”. I once gave a pretty girl a ride who was asking for a ride home, wasn’t until 5 minutes into her ride that I realized she was a sex trade worker. I dropped her off and told my wife…she laughed and said that’s so you.
I found myself unexpectedly single not too long ago, the one thing I wasn't expecting was having two different Discord dates, with two different redheads, that each wanted to play Call of Duty. It was actually really unexpected and nice, not a huge fan of CoD but it was nice having a gaming date all the same. Also, it happening twice pretty much back to back was weird. Wound up meeting up with one of them.
You seem to be implying a connection between "how the relationship started" and "why the relationship ended". But you have provided zero corroborative evidence for this assertion.
Since she stated she had an ex husband, the long term ex has to be someone she had an emotional and sexual relationship with, that now she doesn’t because “ex”.
It all makes sense after they explained it, but when I originally asked, my first thought for some reason was "he's been an ex for a long time." I can be a little slow at times! x_x
Meaning not just someone I asked out and we went on one date, but someone I ended up having a long-term relationship with. (I was rather clumsily trying to point out that, if that was one's aim, being bold can most certainly lead to a serious relationship.)
I could also mean being divorced, but sharing custody of a kid and not wanting to traumatize the poor thing even more by always being at each other’s throats.
Not something to be embarrassed over; lots of people have relationships not work out! But I get what you mean now. Your story actually reminded me of someone I once knew. Married a gay best friend, divorced because they were gay, then went on the hunt for someone new. Tale as old as time! (Mostly?)
What the what.... So, I didn't separate from my husband because he was gay, but his lack of interest in the bedroom was a contributing factor. Then, after the separation, he did admit he was bisexual and considered a female top half with a male bottom half the ideal. Which explained a lot. So yes, hahaha, apparently it happens.
BronyDanza
A woman asking you out? No thanks, I need to wake up with both of my kidneys.
goboltz
Scene from House, awesome show !!
SchmotGuys
Background theme song :
(Touch and Go: Would you?)
https://youtu.be/Y0yqzrY63Bk?si=Bh1SbJqY7jFdvstJ
Mindcrime
I’m the exception to the rule apparently. Met my wife at work. Been happily married for 16 years
Arcadian1
I'd have said yes for sure
WhiteRhino723
You left out the best part where she farted to essentially break the ice and establish mutual comfort.
Svimbi
That’s fine, but this clip doesn’t prove the point, because everyone who’s watched House, MD knows he is not into her and used the “we work together” as an excuse not to go out with her, but since he didn’t want to hurt her feelings by plainly rejecting her, AND it was true he married a coworker, he said- sure.
kbryant414
Sometimes getting your foot in the door is still good. Maybe the date doesn't work out. But maybe it does. The guy might not be into her but perhaps the date shows him a different side of her he does like. Or vice versa, the date makes the girl realize she's not that into him. As long as they're both mature they can have a good time even if there's never a second date.
drGrafenberg
I have been asked like this a couple of times and it is always both refreshing and surprising.
ReverseSyzygy
W: didn't you marry someone from work?
M: yes and it failed.
W: but you did have sex, so ..... ?
mondeca
Oh, yeah. They had a lot.
michiyl
M: "Sure, what's your point?" .... 3 years later: "Hey, WAIT A MINUTE ...!!!"
sadurdaynight
"John it's the 21st century. I'm just looking to slide into someone's dm's every now and then, I'm not looking to cosign a lease."
Shovi
That's EXACTLY how it started with his exwife. Cameron just wanted the sexy time at first, but they both ended up catching feelings.
gft8gd5khn101
No no no not a good idea he's not interested best not to pus it, that's how I read it as a woman
WackyWavingFlailingArmTubeMan
The slide transistion makes it look like one of those on boarding videos you do when you first start a job you know
Astramancer
It's been almost 30 years and I remember the terrible sexual harassment video from my teenage job at a movie theater. Those things are just full of unintentional comedy.
johnxbear
Please for the love of God don't be afraid to ask first. I've met at least three women who said they were interested in me years ago but never said anything and I'm just sitting here like "I could have dated this amazing person"? And it sucks. I just generally assume nobody is interested in me because well...that's usually the case
thedill2000
Just rewatched this whole series again. So good. I'd say 95% A episodes. Only a couple would I call C.
TheMurderousCricket
"You can actually pinpoint the second when her heart breaks in half!"
tymonaSmasher
I choo choo choose this comment
cyclone0619
https://media1.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1MGhwM2s2MzEwdnJuODU1azZhNnAwMGt6dnBjcmVhNGNhbjY5eTRuMCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/SyJyPwlThHScE/200w.webp don't worry. She finds her other half.
lostlittletimeonthis
Mr Simpson these fumes are making me dizzy
RufusPimperton
Not it doesn't
zertmaster
lildude52ca
What am i missing here?
KiwiStag
I believe on House, she was put up to it as part of a bet.
HeywouldJablowme
All I've wanted, my entire life, is for women to simply be forward and honest with me. If you like me. Say hey, I like you. Want to go do something? Hell yeah. I do not pick up on subtle social cues and flirting and most men are the same way. Unless you're a scumbag player, most men respect women and don't push ourselves on them. So when a woman approaches us, it's awesome cuz we don't have to feel like a douchebag when we get rejected trying to approach a girl we like.
DrNicholasRivierA
My last three "first dates" (in my 50's"):
3.) She began crying during dinner because I had once golfed with her recent ex-husband. Then she proceeded to tell me how he had ruined their lives.
2.) She cancelled the date an hour ahead of time, asked if I could help her move. Evicted.
1.) Great first date. 2nd date she invited a bunch of her girlfriends to my house, drank the house dry and passed out on the back deck.
ChuckTenor
Does Lucifer know his little sister is interested in a humie?
dffksh
Too vague.
Does she or doesn't she like the guy. Can't really tell...
NorrinxRadd
I loved House, I still do
makz524
she knows he is married and still asks him out? why doesn't he use that as an excuse to not go out with her? and why do we keep flashing to the woman in red? is she his wife?
philmoregraves
Go watch "house" to understand. Too much to explain. Or yano, dont and dont ask questions ur not willing to find the answers to. Ppl will TRY to give u full context but it'll be about 5 hours too short to fully grasp
BallsLikeWatermelonsPeckerLikeAThimble
In the show he was divorced at the time. And it was all one shot. It keeps panning to the other woman because they made a letterbox video into a vertical video. In the original all three are in the shot at once.
Lombax369
She said "Didn’t you marry someone you used to work with" not "Aren't you married to someone you used to work with" - Past tense not present.
ToenailClippingsJar
Go watch ‘House’. The entire series. I’m not gonna explain it here. Too few characters :-p
SinStar87
divorced, another coworker and feels it's awkward as dude's trying to get out of it. from the show House.
Morkath
He's divorced by this point. iirc the other woman is another of their coworkers, and was also interested in the guy.
tzahtman
If you are going to crop the shot just to show half the image just let it run like that instead of doing those wipes to occasionally show the removed half that doesn't substantially add anything. Such a terrible and bizarre bit of editing.
eronth
Yeah it's wild how obsessed we've become with terrible editing just to avoid turning your phone
JohnEdwa
But if you did that, where would they put the unnecessary captions and emojis?
Yeld69
Is it maybe to prevent copyright detection?
pilomotor
Not really a concern on Imgur.
TheCarpe
No it's so people can watch it on their phone.
gatormarc
They could before.
Bludabeagle
My WIFE..... before we got married, gave me comic strips in my mailbox, and slowly increased the number of "strips"...... until I asked her out.......
Gliocas
How many strips did you get up to before you realized?
Bludabeagle
funny..... It Did take awhile....five (5), one/week, two (2) in one week, Until a Good Friend of mine (and my future Wife), bashed me on the head and said to me, "....I Think You should go out With HER!!" Dared me, so I asked my Future Wife, out...
thegarts
When she said he married someone I was waiting for the other woman lady to say “ok honey. I guess I’ll see you later” and give him a kiss.
emberfish
Wife material tbh
Snooj
Or for him to say "yeah and then we got divorced. That's how I know it doesn't work."
flyingmonkeystick
What show is this? I’m guessing the other girl also liked the man?
Nykidemus
House
jasondeslin
Fuck I'm old. I figured everyone would recognize House MD...
thegarts
The girl in the middle looks like the stoner girl in “knocked up”
IMakeLotsOfReferencesAndRemakes
pareidoliaperson
I did. I'm as old as the amount of your upvotes. Minus my upvote. And that woman is gorgeous! I said some ladies were above my league, but she's above my class altogether. She's so rich and classy, I don't even dare to daydream about her. Her insta is like textbook rich people family portrait.
in70x
Damnit you saying that just made me feel old. I turn 37 in a month
mondeca
I had to scroll back up to recognize Chase, but I still have no idea who the other two are.
Svimbi
The Asian girl is doctor Park, the first member of his post-prison team, assigned to it by Foreman who became dean after Cuddy left. The other one is dr Adams, he met the latter while in prison, she got fired for listening to his (an inmate’s) idea on how to treat a patient and later came to work for him in PPTC.
mondeca
That explains it. I didn't watch the last season.
Shovi
You should, it's decent.
vanfem
I watched all the seasons but did not recognize it. Maybe you're just not old enough for your memory to fail you?
jasondeslin
That's the sweetest thing anyone's said to me all week. Lol
lpooptoomuch
the two women in this scene were only there for the last season.
Aimlockbelch
Never date someone you work with. It only ends in tragedy. I did it once. We’re married 25 years and have 2 grown kids
emberfish
Oof. Sorry that happened to you 🥲
michiyl
derpderpderp182
Same here kids.
When people ask if we used dating apps I say yes. Indeed.
Been married 8+ years now.
RoboVik
"And just think, if you'd killed him when you first met, you'd be out by now!" - Jimmy Carr
ChareAndFlaff
I can't tell if this is 100% a joke or only 50% a joke. Is your life a tragedy or are you mostly happy with how it turned out?
WiiShaker
Boomer hoomer. I don't get it either.
flyingmonkeystick
Definitely meant to be a joke. You wouldn’t frame it like that if it was meant to be taken seriously.
jonathantoast
All life ends in tragedy.
ttm2
it's boomer attempt at humour: "I hate my spouse" is a popular troupe with that crowd
rmx256
This man right here is so super awkward with "first contact." I was raised in a house full of women in the early 80s and digested lots of, like not necessarily anti man content - I still keep my keys in my hand on the way to my car - but I've internalized how most of the time, women (and most people) just want to be left alone to do their thing. It's hard for me to get the guts, even if I'm interpreting "signals," to bother hot or cool chicks in public who probably just want to be left alone.
UnpinionedPoplars
It's not first contact, though; they're coworkers. He just isn't into her. "House" if you wanted to watch the show. Eight seasons, I think this was in the 8th.
GlutenFreeCocaineWaffles
Personally I've heard my whole life that men are pigs and women just want to be left alone, so I leave them alone. Seems to be working so far; I've never been a predator or abused a significant other. I'd be fighting a losing battle anyway; I'm tall, weird, autistic, hairy, very square posture, big beard, blunt, deep voice, and I walk quickly. Women seem afraid of me before I open my mouth.
rmx256
I feel that. I dress like I never left high school (all black, tall socks with shorts, boots, etc) and for some reason apparently I don't blink very much compared to most people, so I creep people out. Like getting older means whatever we want it to mean and for me it didn't mean "growing up" lol, and I have accepted that means that I'm going to alienate people before I even meet them.
4chyn
If you digested a lot of anti-man content in your household, that’s something you’ll need to heal from before you go for anyone. Darkness does not drive out darkness. Only light can do that.
rmx256
It wasn't necessarily anti-man. I was probably too young to, for example, read Our Bodies Ourselves, and play with my legos in a room full of women talking about their abusers, or how a "nice guy" just wasn't. It has made me keenly aware a lot of time of my maleness and how that can be perceived by women even and especially when I'm just in the same space that they are in. It's so much easier to talk to people online lol. In 48 and basically been in three real relationships in my life.
4chyn
Pro tip: those are the ones to avoid.
Now you have your own life. Heal from it and use those two feet to walk away. Put those boundaries up and keep them firm. Live your life on YOUR terms. Stutter stepping doesn’t help you. It only hampers long term commitment. In order to win, really win, is to do the opposite of what is comfortable. Take a risk. Calculate the risk well but take the risk when it’s time. The time is now.
rmx256
NGL it's sorta cringe to describe like, love or sex in terms of "win." It's not sports, it's not a war or something.
4chyn
Says the autism.
JarethCutestory
It’s freaking tough to approach a woman and be like ‘Fear not!’ That awkwardness always killed things for me, was only successful with very subtle efforts and mutual friends etc. luckily my wife made the first move 25 years ago.
rmx256
The two relationships that I've had as an adult I didn't make the first move. My friend set me up with the woman that I ended up marrying in the 90s and when that relationship ended my brother set me up with my, I guess as of a couple of days ago, ex gf. What I feel sucks the most is prob because I grew up in a houseful of women I would generally speaking rather spend my time with them than other dudes or whatever so I very easily accept being friendzoned. Hard to date when you're ok with that.
LylaLexie
I had to engineer a whole situation to try and encourage this guy I worked with to ask me on a date. He got in a car accident on his way to work (I definitely didnt have anything to do with that, just to clarify). I then: A. Covered his shift. B. Texted him offering to take him out for a “sorry you totaled your car” drink after working said shift. C. Drove 45 minutes out of my way to pick him up. D. Took him to a bar. E. Sat with him all night chatting and giving him every signal I could>
LylaLexie
spookyu
That's the admitted knife edge to walk, is having the empathy and understanding that women deal with a lot of attention they do not want on the routine, but also wanting to show an authentic interest in a person. I think there's a lot of sentiment that "I'd rather miss a chance, than be that asshole" and that's part of why a lot of women are observing they don't get asked out much. Not saying any of it is right or wrong, just seems to be a common theme.
GlutenFreeCocaineWaffles
Personally I was paying attention during #metoo et al. As someone who knows what cptsd is like, I'd rather die alone in my own shit than accidentally retraumatize someone who's been getting harassed/assaulted since they were, like, 10 years old, which is apparently the entire lighter voiced half of the human race...
rmx256
It is. I'm moving back into the world after my 27 year marriage ended. I wasn't looking for anyone and my brother set me up with a chick I ended up dating for almost eight months (again I didn't make the first move.) I'm trying that whole "do the things you love and you will find someone to love" thing but man there just aren't a lot of women at metal and punk shows who are my age, haha, so fortunately nobody to offend or be rejected by, or potentially offend by being forward. IDK
Gwenx
Idk what age you are but come to Denmark, the average age at Copenhell (our local 4 day metal fesitval) is like 40+ 😂
I love it though, there is youmg and old, and everything inbetween, som have their small children with them, other are old pensionists! Its so cool amd there is lots of guys and gals 😉😅
rmx256
I've always wanted to attend one of the big European metal festivals, maybe one day I'll get that chance.
agiar200011
"Didn't you marry someone you used to work with?"
"I never said I hadn't done it; I said it wasn't a good idea."
allenvasher3000
His response should have been yeah I know from experiences a bad idea
hyptosis
legit thought that is what he was going to say haha "That's how I know."
Madalchemist2018
I thought the joke would be "Yeah, my wife's behind you and I am very uncomfortable that she hasn't stopped this yet"
Shovi
That's not his wife.
DrNicholasRivierA
Not shown, later on: to break the ice in the elevator, she broke wind, and everyone laughed.
Pphunk77
I learned my lesson and will never do it again.
SuedeWilson
Don't shit where you eat
PwnageHobo
Don't kink shame me!
silentjay01
"Don't stick your pen in company ink."
LifeWouldBeEasyIfIWereEasyButLifeIsHardAndSoAmI
Put your company pen in the proper location and then dip two non company pens in the ink
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1bnZsbzg5dTF2eWx0Y24xZjcyMW1odzU0aXFyY3BjOHV5cmhycXBvaCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/MZ9nZGQn1nqBG/200w.webp
thricebakedxyz
No fishing off the company dock.
Hornedequine
Like i get the idea, but where else am i going to get to know people?
VladimirsKacs
But second: If you have a hobby (can be anything - board games, crocheting, attending lectures on sociology, jogging, etc.) and join a group that does it. People there are into at least one thing you are into, and might be into other things too. If you don't find your SO in one of these, at least you'll have fun.
If you don't have a hobby, that is almost better - sign up for everything you remotely think you might like (not at the same time!) and go meet an incredible amount of new people.
Evenmoreuselessname
I remember seeing a study around... the early 00's(?) that said 2/3 of marriages were between people that met at work. Probably changed some now with all the Internet meat markets, but still...
VladimirsKacs
First I want to agree with you: we spend (or used to) over a third of our awake time in the office (a stat that likely puts it ahead of every other place in your life.) Chances are that's where you are going to find people you like. It's great too - you can have lunch together, meet at the water cooler, dating a coworker is the best thing in the world.
On the other hand, working with with your ex (or, god forbid, exes) can be incredibly uncomfortable. It's a risk - and you can take it or refuse.
DutchBoeremeisie
I've never been asked out by a man - I've always done the asking out and made the first move. That's how I nabbed my ex-husband and longterm ex-boyfriend. It does work, ladies. (Although not always.)
BeaverOnFire
If a guy asks in person, he is labeled a creeper, stalker, or worse. On dating apps it takes 200+ asks for a single coffee date. There's a reason guys stopped asking.
DutchBoeremeisie
There was a very good video explaining why the odds of dating apps are stacked against you. I'll try and find it again, but iirc one of the main points were that women don't like using apps, so there are significantly fewer women on there than men.
OmnesMundiLardum
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
raberscoob
It's the most reliable way. I dont believe in my self enough to ask anyone out. If you wanna get with me you have to ask. I ain't getting arrested again
neospor1n
I’m a guy that went to junior and senior prom. Never had to ask, always got asked. Made life easy. Got married as well with never asking a question
Now that you mention it, I’m not sure what her name is.
Ebo352
Probably a numbers game no matter who you are.
thatwoodguy
Five women that I can remember as me out first not the other way around
CALAMOSCOPYJANE
Helemaal gaaf hoor, I always have too (more or less - online dating is a bit different). I wonder if it’s a Dutch thing? I have a lot of dutch blood and I lived there for a few years. And I’m extremely direct.
ImAWeirdMom
Thinking back, holy shit same.
My girlfriends asked me out (talking to pretty girls is scary!) but my boyfriend's? All me.
I've been turned down a whopping twice.
And both times were so incredibly nice about it.
And I'm not particularly attractive, so this ain't some "pretty girl" magic, my husband is at least 2 levels of hotness over me.
DutchBoeremeisie
Hahah, well, I've been turned down a whole lot (but I am below-average attractive). But I figure it's all a numbers game - statistically someone will say "yes" again.
idontwantaussernameforgodsake
En dan vragen om brommers te gaan kieken?
DutchBoeremeisie
Hahahaha, dat heb ik in jaren niet meer gehoord.
METROlD
I have always made the first move with all my girlfriends and wife. Although this one time,I was married, and at a bar. And this extremely shy and awkward yet down right sweet and beautiful young woman approached me in a bar and asked me if she could buy me a drink. I have rarely been so flattered in my life. I wish I communicated better, I just stammered, said I was married, and ran away in a complete flurry. I regret that interaction. But, I mean, I’m married, still could have been more adept.
flukeysnail
I'm a very shy man when it comes to breaking the ice. Nearly every woman I've been with has approached me first. It's honestly such a relief because I inherently feel like I'm awkward and intruding despite people telling me I'm attractive and desirable. The most enduring and memorable relationships I've had have come from it. One day I hope I'll figure out how to keep them.
ImAGrower
Honestly, as a guy, I feel it's maybe safer and easier for the woman to ask out the guy. Or at least they may be able to know/tell if we are single easier compared to the amount of times I haven't known when asking because of how quiet they are about thier personal lives and I'm awful about telling what's flirting directed at me or not...or maybe just my horrible bad luck in life in general.
Lutki
It is the norm in the nordics, and it is really only in the US and UK where there is an expectation of men having to pursue and be chivalrous in "the west"
boxak
And some of us thank you for it. Some men (like myself) are utterly and completely clueless. I have minimal ability to pick up on subtle and not so subtle social cue and I appreciate it when women are straightforward and ask. Probably the only reason why I’m married and not hopelessly single.
boxak
Follow up: I’m not on the spectrum either, just stupid.
grendelb
And hey, it is damn nice when ladies ask you out. Though usually my brain does a few loops "what? me? me?". And ladies, ASK OUT and BE DIRECT, because quite often the male brain (or mine at least) understands indirect advances 24 hours later.
LifeWouldBeEasyIfIWereEasyButLifeIsHardAndSoAmI
A long, long time ago there was a girl that would bring me homemade cookies while I was at work at least three times a week. I believe I made it clear to her that I was already in a relationship, but I also found the gesture cute and enjoyed the attention. We never went on any dates despite her persistence with the cookies. I think most people dislike the "I have a boyfriend" response, but accept it and take the hint. Don't spend an uneasy amount of time trying to flirt with 1/2
LifeWouldBeEasyIfIWereEasyButLifeIsHardAndSoAmI
Someone at their workplace because they have a job to do and could get in trouble. I'm fairly certain that I got a young woman fired from a bar because I flirted for too long (holding hands together melting ice cubes) and convincing her to take a break she wasn't scheduled for
I apologize to you, Young Woman that I think got fired through my actions
flyingmonkeystick
It’s not just not understanding but also not wanting to assume incorrectly.
HalloIamherenow
This. Men are terrified of being misunderstood (at least a lot of the good ones are) when it comes to romantic advances. Don't beat around the bush and be direct. We're not mind readers and most of us don't do subtlety very well.
Canadian604
redbear1999
That’s right! In my case, 30 years later!!!
HeyoooItsMe
JarethCutestory
*24 hours to 24 years later
pandemicmodedad
It took 2 years for me. Wait...she was inviting me over to cook for her....wtf, why didnt I put the dots together.
chrispisme
I tell my wife when she’s hinting at something I didn’t get “men are simple, we work on a 64k operating system with 8 basic colors (optional) and the syntax input needs to be exact or all you’ll get is the “ding” input error message”. I once gave a pretty girl a ride who was asking for a ride home, wasn’t until 5 minutes into her ride that I realized she was a sex trade worker. I dropped her off and told my wife…she laughed and said that’s so you.
pandemicmodedad
You basicly explained us men is the simplest of ways.
drousnavat
Wanna meet up on discord and watch a movie together?
firstandlast85
you go girl
spookyu
I found myself unexpectedly single not too long ago, the one thing I wasn't expecting was having two different Discord dates, with two different redheads, that each wanted to play Call of Duty. It was actually really unexpected and nice, not a huge fan of CoD but it was nice having a gaming date all the same. Also, it happening twice pretty much back to back was weird. Wound up meeting up with one of them.
delirium7777
Discord dates? Wait this is a thing? No wonder I'm still single haha
zufallszahlen
kinda sounds like it doesn't
gronzilla
thedeliberatemyth
You seem to be implying a connection between "how the relationship started" and "why the relationship ended". But you have provided zero corroborative evidence for this assertion.
ThinkThisOut
100% of relationships that end have had a start…. The data is there
Whitebeardthepirate
at least they've had people and experienced some form of happiness, unlike your dour attitude, @zufallszahlen
zufallszahlen
suck up all you want, she's not going to ask you out
DutchBoeremeisie
Apparently the only reason you can think of to agree with a woman or defend her position is if you hope to get with her?
Whitebeardthepirate
he's got his fedora at the ready to tip, and put his body pillows in the closet for now.
thegarts
lol
PipWhipple
Sorry, this might be a silly question, but what's a "long term ex" exactly?
migratingotter
Since she stated she had an ex husband, the long term ex has to be someone she had an emotional and sexual relationship with, that now she doesn’t because “ex”.
PipWhipple
It all makes sense after they explained it, but when I originally asked, my first thought for some reason was "he's been an ex for a long time." I can be a little slow at times! x_x
DutchBoeremeisie
Meaning not just someone I asked out and we went on one date, but someone I ended up having a long-term relationship with. (I was rather clumsily trying to point out that, if that was one's aim, being bold can most certainly lead to a serious relationship.)
ToSisPoS
I could also mean being divorced, but sharing custody of a kid and not wanting to traumatize the poor thing even more by always being at each other’s throats.
migratingotter
No it doesn’t. Ex-husband denotes divorce, the second just a long term emotional &sexual relationship that no longer is.
ToSisPoS
How strange. That describes what a divorce can be as well.
DutchBoeremeisie
(I was too embarrased to point out how many first dates I asked men out for that I got rejected for or that didn't lead to anything long lasting!)
PipWhipple
Not something to be embarrassed over; lots of people have relationships not work out! But I get what you mean now. Your story actually reminded me of someone I once knew. Married a gay best friend, divorced because they were gay, then went on the hunt for someone new. Tale as old as time! (Mostly?)
DutchBoeremeisie
What the what.... So, I didn't separate from my husband because he was gay, but his lack of interest in the bedroom was a contributing factor. Then, after the separation, he did admit he was bisexual and considered a female top half with a male bottom half the ideal. Which explained a lot. So yes, hahaha, apparently it happens.