TheRealR0tb3rt
375797
8231
170
Yes, this is how a birth works
Apr 8, 2017 9:14 AM
TheRealR0tb3rt
375797
8231
170
imonewiththeforceandtheforceiswithme
This is why I firmly believe that every couple should go through child birth classes like Bradley. It really prepares you for the process
Taliska
Hey at least hes still standing! my dad straight up passed out!
thisistheinternetimheretotellliesandarguewithstrangers
Only thing i regret is taking a look while the doctor sewed her up.
Mannus
That's the first time he's seen a vagina let alone a human being come out of it.
AussieMadHatter
I have watched all 3 of my children be born and i never acted anything like that
scallyswag
Put that thing back where it came from or so help me
FullMetalBitch
My husband just stood there wide eyed and at one point goes "OH!", I asked what happened, he said "he went back in!"
KittenSprinkles89
Yeah, my fiancé is crazy if he thinks he's getting that far away from me when I give birth. Death grip mwahahahaha!
TheWorldsGreatestPlagueDoctor
Grip his hand so hard that he can't masturbate anymore
MemeDissector
"Oh god... I did this..."
themobileappisbroken
bender211
Please. A mancold is much worse. Ever hear a guy say "someday I want another cold..."?
mormacil
Actually some virusses like the flu cause more severe symptoms in male mammals. So part of it is not an over reaction. Virusses also tend1/2
mormacil
to be more lethal for men compared to women. 2/2
mormacil
Facts people,no need to downvote https://www.newscientist.com/article/2115987-viruses-may-have-evolved-to-hit-men-hard-but-go-easy-on-women/
k0sh2
At least he didn't throw up.
Clemptor
This is why I'll be taking a pass.
esmarelda
What was he expecting? Was he not aware of how childbirth works?
Unquote
He doesn't even know what a vagina is
Bigworm666999
I watched my wife give birth. I think half the people in that room were there in case I passed out. It's like I had my own team on standby.
Taliska
Yup... a nurse or intern on 'dad catch' duty is a thing :) especially if you look like a 'fainter', friend who is a nurse... she confirmed
TypeMyUserNameHere
He's not being very supportive! When my wife gave birth, I held her hand, kissed her and talked to her. Looks like he's NOT the father?
iamlikelytoforgetthis
I'm so excited about giving birth
FebruaryRose
Congratulations!
iamlikelytoforgetthis
Love your enthusiasm, I'm not pregnant, but I love your enthusiasm!
FebruaryRose
mburicao
ZimKat
So few John Ritter gifs here. +1
NuttierThanAJarOfGoobers
I'm sorry. After three kids and watching my husband handle each labor with precision. He needs to get ahold of himself.
wormfood
He was not prepared
aboxacaraflatafan
Precision?
alexanderthegreater
This was me watching the birth of my kid. Except with more loss of consciousness
Taliska
LOL my dad passed out too, mum said the doctor sort of kicked him under the table and carried on as if nothing happened!
alexanderthegreater
Mine came out not breathing so the suspense made me forget to inhale and i ended up buckling at the knees lol. Not my proudest moment
Taliska
Oh hell! you poor thing! Well no one can say that you weren't invested in your babies wellbeing! (everything was ok right?)
alexanderthegreater
Lol thank you, yes shes perfectly healthy. But id be lying if i said i wasnt scared shitless at first
commoncomment
Had to help my wife with pushing by basically playing tug of war with a towel in front of her. Saw everything and didn't freak out :)
spacexcadet
Oh God that would have been useful. I wish I had thought of that.
usuallyarandomalwayssunnycomment
My wife asked for a mirror. And they brought one in. I stared at her face the whole time.
SendMeReplicasOfYourDick
I was holding a leg up and back with a clear view.
Adiktedgottaregisternow
How did you perceive your wife's body after the birth ? Just a question from girl wanting children.
TheDivineUsersub
Something tells me a guy who can get a front row seat to that and be chill is probably going to go for seconds as soon as her snatch is -
TheDivineUsersub
- back to pounding-ready-status.
bannyd
WELP, as a guy who is expecting this in 11 weeks... I can't say I'm excited to watch my wife poop out an alien
Tomadzo
Try it when the Dr thinks he's Groucho Marx.
SendMeReplicasOfYourDick
Be there for her, make her comfy, step up when it's needed. You'll survive.
usuallyarandomalwayssunnycomment
Just so you're prepared, she will likely actually poop too. I'd suggest getting hold of a forget-me-now
BreakfastWithCountChocula
Please, this is going the most wonderful thing you'll ever see in your life. Be there, be supportive, and be amazed.
MrsMojave
As someone who just did this 4 Months ago, there's no shame in caving for the epidural even if it wasn't the plan
bachterman
after the alien comes out, you'll never look at her heart shaped box as before again.
46853
She's gonna need a hand to hold. Birth is one of the most painful things ever. You're not gonna make her face it alone, are you?
cmererightmeow
But let her hold your non-dominant hand.
OrionRed
I sat in on my wife's c-section. Dr. pulled out her ovaries and showed my they didn't have endometriosis.
TanatosNyx
. . .
classybroad
... the fuck.
NotYourAverageCakeSlice
I totally misread the first part as "I sat on my wife's c-section."
aboxacaraflatafan
Ouchie.
OrionRed
Our HMO didn't cover that part.
MentelPie
Fuk that, I probably won't have kids, but if I do and there's a C-Section, don't fucking show me organs pls
OrionRed
Yeah, he like, asked me if I agreed they looked ok?
MentelPie
Bruh he showed you your own organs? Im not scared of blood or gore, but I would probably faint. No pls
Tkeleth
lol awesome! I don't really get too squeamish with stuff like that, that's an awesome story dude
PiZzAisAmOrE
To all the mothers on here, you're a tough human being. Lol the expression on that guys face clearly says it all
2TbspOfDogAssOil
Well I was in my wife's and didn't put those fabulous faces...you women are amazing though.
SaucyDisses
Seriously. I don't know how you ladies do it. All you moms have my outmost respect.
Lfa3
Seems like our brains washes ourselves with hormones/stuff to forget the painful parts. That's why some go a second/third time and so on ._.
MagicallyMike
Male medical student who just finished ob/gyn rotation. I'VE SEEN SOME THINGS.
bitemark
work stories post 2nded!
user563235
PLEASE, consider making a post, a work stories post
MagicallyMike
We had a patient who tested positive for various drugs insist that they were gonna "DO THIS NAKED!" So we finally let her.
jbilly90
So you're gay now?
MagicallyMike
Was rather asexual for a couple weeks there.
jbilly90
Lol i bet. As a chick birth and all that is gross to me. I cant imagine what guys think
chickNlittle
I did it twice, no drugs. It's really not that bad. Honestly breaking my femur was worse.
didntthinkofthat
My 1st was labour was induced/accelerated, that hurt. They couldn't read heart rate and wanted me to lie still so ended up with epidural.
promnitedumpsterbaby
My wife told me my compound fracture of my right humerus was nothing compared to giving birth the look on his face probably agrees w/my wife
chickNlittle
I guess it's dependent on pain threshhold?
promnitedumpsterbaby
Yes you're right everybody handles pain differently and giving birth is a happy time so different category of pain I guess
MildlyShockedSirPatrickStewart
How'd you go no anesthesia?
chickNlittle
I didn't need it. Breathing through was fine.
horrorhoe
Femur is a really bad bone to break though. It's one of the bones where a break could make you bleed out.
thuderstick
The wife did both kids no drugs as well. But to be fair both labors lasted under 4 hours
chickNlittle
About the same for active labor for me, too.
didntthinkofthat
Slept through the 1st 4 hrs with twins, then had 3 1/2 hours at hospital. About 9 people in the room, they had to flip 2nd baby, no drugs.
lunchbucket
Oh geebus, how did you break your femur? Isnt it one of the strongest bones?
chickNlittle
Ice skating. Right in half!
human8060
How long were you in labor?
chickNlittle
4 1/2 hours active, 45 minutes active (lots of early labor I don't count)
human8060
Damn, I'm jealous...lol. I was in labor for over 24 hours. First 13, the epidural didn't work. I've never been more exhausted.
didntthinkofthat
I went to sleep for the first part of labour with twins because I thought it was a false alarm, was 6cm when I got to hospital. Oops.
RBBaker
Does she know he's gay?
Thismightbemypassword
Omg, top comment.. duude..
RBBaker
I'm floored. It was a flip, snide comment made at 3:00 in the morning.
justsignedupforthishit
My thoughts exactly.
Angbadang
The kid is literally seconds old, so probably not...
Whiteoak789
Or that just turned him gay. Not gonna lie probably would me to.
ReallyWittyName
My thoughts exactly.
Theforgottenartoffuckey
MarvLarv
The one earring confirms this.
NachoPete
His ass hanging out of his pants confirms this.
TyrantJester
His overall demeanor confirms it.
TraitorousTrump3
The white watch gave it away for me.
MuffyTheHamburgerSlayer
That shirt confirms this.
flaccidhope
iamkarlpilkington
He has got tiny hands btw
RBBaker
Trumpish hands you mean?
dontKnowDontCare87
Gay best friend, I think. Got drunk one night, experimented, didn't take.
[deleted]
[deleted]
EBlade19889
I actually know a couple in this exact scenario. Some of the best people and loving supportive parents I have ever met.
FeckItImAubreyPlazaNow
This is the plot to an absolutely terrible Madonna movie.
whereyouriresides
I hope thats the brother or something
mormacil
Gay guy she experimented with drunk once.
Zedd990
she does now
WhoReadsPeoplesUsernamesAnyway
know now she does?
RBBaker
Gay he is.
ProbablyPooping
Thanks yoda
SomeAngelDude
Know now, does she.
corvandus
TIL any vaguely effeminate behaviour in a man determines whether you fuck other dudes or not
JohnnyLawlessEsq
"Vaguely."
Carrow
And the outfit and earring? Wouldn't exactly say he's flying under the gaydar.
forestfinagle
mormacil
But he is gay, like he is legit gay.
PutinOnTheBlitz
He is gay. It's in the story. I love when the agenda rhetoric stumbles over the truth. Usually it's just opinion vs opinion. Damn it's good.
RedReddington
"vaguely"
WaneTendo
but... he's gay
Trimule
NO straight man in history has EVER immediately put his hands over his mouth to display shock or amazement - EVER
forestfinagle
I was busy sipping my orangina through a straw, you wanker
tehmatser
TIL I'm gay. My parents are gonna be ripped.
ThisWasATriumph
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/survivor1.gif
DeckerDekker
Loved this episode! It's from a Dutch tv show. Turned out that the guy wasn't even the father!
mynameiselliott
Obviously he didn't impregnate a woman
[deleted]
[deleted]
NeverGetsTheNuke
I'd make those faces as well if that were the state of a vagina the first time I saw one.
Klaustrophile
Plot twist: He's the doctor.
Agent
He walk in thinking it was the cafeteria and thought it would be rude to leave
JohnnyLawlessEsq
How could he be? The boy clearly has about as much interest in vagina as Liberace.
MemeDissector
That's... well that's kinda sad actually.
Robobamanation
I haven't been this interested in the Dutch since Anne Frank's diary!
mormacil
Check out the show that faked delivery for men.
Calculussucks
They had me help with my baby's delivery.
Wadup
Why was he present?
rorozozo
.
SalliHazel
Saw this episode too. Felt really sorry for that guy. He really had the intention of being a good father.
Tminus1622d
Name of the guy/mother/... or episode number?
Tminus1622d
I got this fragment, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUeXcbB194w
SalliHazel
The guys name is Dalo Monnier
iCANdoTHEwave
no shit, he is clearly gay
elpauloloco
I'm straight and watching childbirth is gross to me too.
EmeraldLight
THIS! This is what I was thinking! He's like, "THIS is why I don't like vagina. I love ass even more now."
gingergalore
Obviously! Hahaha I think his reaction is hilarious!
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
[deleted]
StaticSnowSounds
Great, now we'll never know!
AztecPriestess
n7warrior
Best buy
Gayforbae
Maybe we're born with it. Maybe it's Maybelline
KevinRamage
Gaybelline
Gayforbae
Brewdoc
"At the gaydar store" - Brick Tamlin
Stinkythumbs
Sharper Image
Fall3nM3m0ry
iCANdoTHEwave
funny you say that. My dad had a friend whose son was only 12 years old when I first met him, and I bet my dad that he will be gay. 7 yrs1/2
iCANdoTHEwave
his dad kicked him out for being gay. :( 2/2
LordLittlepants
Uit welke show is dit dan?
Itkov
Is that seriously what Dutch looks like? Sounds like poorly spoken English
Skimoz
Vier handen op één buik van BNN.
Twist1000
Nice, dankje. Weet je ook welke aflevering?
Tminus1622d
Ik heb dees gevonden, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUeXcbB194w
Tminus1622d
en dees, http://www.lindanieuws.nl/nieuws/fragmentgemist/vier-handen-op-een-buik-van-hilarische-bevalling-tot-dramatische-uitslag-dna-test/
Tminus1622d
En wat voor progamma is dat? Valt dat mee of is dit het enige memorabele moment enzo? Qua beschrijving klinkt het niet goed. bekende moeders
Tminus1622d
Geen idee wat een of andere bekende doos gaat helpen of meedoen met een bevalling van een minderjarige, maar ieder zijn hobby.
DeusExSpockina
Wait, I need to know more.
yourfavouriteginger
She's 16, called quintana, and she smoked the full 9 months during pregnancy
BoobsAreSoMuchFun
That's what you need to do to have an easy delivery... Sigarets make small babies...
modus0
Then my mom was better off having smoked during her pregnancy with me, I came out 9 lbs. 1 oz.
IAlwaysUpvoteHarryPotter
Heyo fat baby buddies! I was 9lbs 3ounces
MyCatLikesToFruitcake
No, you weren't. My mom smoked like a chimney and I came out 9lbs, but we woulda been better off without that the lifelong effects.
lemonfluff
I was 2lbs.. sister 1.5lbs.
ImgurPoof
The gay guy is her best friend, not the father.
OfficialJoeBiden
Thank god, I was worried she married a gay guy
CompletelyRandomGIF
well if he didnt love cock and hate vaginas before, he does now.
TheHaloFollower
But is he single?
hgghu8888
Yeah but nigga offers no support when u give birthy
WhoGlvesAfck
+1 For birthy
welcometofuckall
In fairness, how would you react to seeing your favourite place being destroyed?
PhenTsoksar
well, call me when babies start being born from a woman's mouth or ass.
fbutt09
Cowering in the corner like a little biiiiiaaaaaattttccccchhhh!
BillieJoeLondon
"Like watching your favourite pub burn down"
thezookeeper
you grow the fuck up
TheRealR0tb3rt
That´s why mailorder brides exist. :)
spaceisneat
How would you react to having your favorite body part destroyed?
LadyAyami
Husband said he wanted to punch something once I started screaming. Manly the baby
RBBaker
When I went back to my grade school it looked so tiny. When I went back to my girl's vagina after childbirth it was YUGE!
gossegotha
Manly rage, burly sulking, iron stoicism?
ishouldprobablybeplayingpokemonATM
2 kids in, I held her hand and stood by her, the birth was not my thing to complain about
PatrickRob82
My wife had a c section. Booyah.
BonkyMcSignFace
So your child was never born. Just removed. Like a tumor.
PatrickRob82
He's NOT A TUMAH!
thelonepig
To be fair, the miracle of birth, and after birth, is truly fucking disgusting.
NotTheMamaNotTheMama
Recent mom here, totally agree.
PizzaSlutForever
My bed? Devastated...
promnitedumpsterbaby
Like throwing a hotdog down a hallway now
BonkyMcSignFace
Don't worry. One day you'll save up enough to pay a girl to let you touch her vagina and you'll realize how fucking stupid you were in 2017
Valj
LurkyMcLurkerton
If that true after, it was true before.
sorrytobepedantic
Only because your dick is tiny
flamingflamingo
He might be reacting more to her shitting all over the table as she gives birth.
Scottchr
BonkyMcSignFace
Yup
notouchingNOTOUCHINGnotouchingNOTOUCHING
We've got 3 kids. Dat pussy tight.
tweek0423
Lying to yourself only works for so long. You can't trick us over here
25schmeckles
I think it's hilarious when people try to convince themselves their vaginas are exactly the same after birth, bitch this what u signed up fo
JeepJeep7
It seems to get tighter after every one
shavtetri
Scar tissue.
MadDogMorgan
That I wish you saw
FantasticalPotato
Sarcastic Mr. Know it all
PoppinLochNessHopster
That's his sister/friend, no way he's the dad
TheMagicalUpvoteFearie
Turned out it wasn't his kid, but at the time they both thought it was.
PoppinLochNessHopster
Probably for the best, he's eerily uninterested in his spawn.
PrincessDonaldTrumpBANNED
Gay guys can marry women to make babies.
Sitraka
he's not obligatory gay he's may be : http://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/1044414/85037729.jpg
PoppinLochNessHopster
ok, that's still not the dad