Ippenutt
168333
6865
102
FP Edit: First frontpage ever whoooo!!! Pleas send cats.
Jan 4, 2019 1:13 PM
Ippenutt
168333
6865
102
FP Edit: First frontpage ever whoooo!!! Pleas send cats.
fnordistan5
Oooooold
vikk3
And that engineers name? Albert Einstein!
icouldntthinkofacleverpun
I don’t know most of these words.
88wut
Coffee machine make and model?
TheAbyssStaresBack
What a legend
genepoolboy
Sounds like my workplace
BorkLocutus
There is a lot of cool stories there.
pangyre
Status 418
Squelchtone
Things that didn't happen for $100, Alex.
heyitssnowing
Didn't understand more than half of that lingo
rmsasquatch360
He probably ordered that coffee machine for the office and the person who set it up didn't even know.
Audasity
apparently they needed to pay him more with that kind of automation
HalTheMisinterpretivePornStar
I'm in
lazybuthappy
This is fucking gold
Nigbad1984
Damn, I wish we’d had a network addressed coffee machine when I was working in it. This would’ve saved me seconds.
Nedster64
This is BOFH kinda old, but gold.
2thfxr
I don’t understand why IT people haven’t taken over the world as some sort of master race that the rest of humanity must worship
PunnyTiger
because we put a lot of effort into making sure we don't have to do much. It's hard to take over the world with automated scripts
iburnstuff
It's the alcoholism.
InTheBeginningWasTheNerd
And the laziness. cowsay is easier for automated worship than you.
TheCarolingian
redCactuar
We had an entire lecture on this post when I studied computer science at uni.
Evercrimson
As somone starting in programming, I need to know immediately what coffee machine this is for reasons
imcurrentlyatabar
Ditto. Big time.
MelodyLightfoot
http://www.cafection.com/en/innovation
MelodyLightfoot
Probably not the exact model as the blog but it's an SSH cofee machine with HTTP access as well.
Robvp
That thing looks expensive
MelodyLightfoot
yarp, you can tell by the fact they don't list a damn price for it.
Robvp
I've seen a larger one without IoT, makes a pretty decent latte, frothed milk and all, fully automatic and runs about 10k
OutlawGerman
Thats a badass coffee machine.
maxwilder
I have never seen a machine that makes lattes. I have to make my own, but I feel lucky my work has the machine and ingredients.
PunnyTiger
I have never seen a coffee maker with an internet connection, but I have had a computer with a cereal port
marsgoose
As long as it doesn't 418
V2Blast
Looks like BoredPanda stole the post and some comments (including yours) without credit (or, presumably, permission)...
V2Blast
https://www.boredpanda.com/build-engineer-lazy-computer-hacker-genius-work-scripts/
ThatGuyWhosFunAtPartiez
418 I'm a Teapot.
CommunCreator
20 PRINT “Short and stout.”
JollyJokzr
https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/HTTP/Status/418
ThatGuyWhosFunAtPartiez
*tips fedora* m'teapot
PianoMan2112
I want one!!
Tunisia
That's literally what webcams were invented for.
justthebearnecessities
Minnakht
Well, if it's saved the guy time over the years, why not? Good for him that he knows how to make these.
AncientPostNecromancer
He's probably pretty good at Factorio.
LurkyMclurkfacestolemyusername
Not only Time. Imagine being hungover or sick and just sleeping through it because you know you already informed everyone! Genius
SuicidalTurnip
I've literally written scripts for shit that takes 10 minutes to do once, because I can. Devs are a different breed.
TongueTiedLabourerfromtheLandoftheLittlePeople
Coding is the literacy of the twenty-first century.
stja
I don't think anyone here is disparaging him for those scripts. Even the post itself seems amused and impressed, not derogatory in any way.
bugzathug
That’s what I was going to say. This guy is plywood
TreasonousCheeto
Plywood?
bugzathug
Plywood is a week sheet of wood. It’s from letterkenny
SirGravzy
Coffee one is a 5 second delay away from coffee everywhere
KWJester49
How is that? It brews a specific amount of drink for a specific sized cup
FistingWithJalapenoDoritoFingers
I think I'm gonna learn those languages and automate my entire life
AwkwardKeming
I did. I even automated this comment.
sturmhauke
It's not that hard, except for the coffee maker.
Tranced42
just play Factorio
Goldmarble
Less productive.
Tranced42
pff being productive
Ulthirm
These are all likely shell scripts (although the .sh can be used for anything as linux doesn't use that to id files but instead file headers
Runner55
Coming from MS-DOS and .bat originally, it took me longer to find the file extension I was looking for than I'd like to admit
Ulthirm
Tbh im surprised that this codejunky didn't use .Cron for his cronjob tasks.
nicetomeetyouimdad
looks like mostly shell, but just about anything will work.
BaconAndBoobsAndBackflips
Look into datacamp.com, super easy interactive online learning course for python and more, and totally free. You even get exp and lvl up!
Lynkfox
Python. That's your go to. And its super useful in the job market
sturmhauke
I'm switching from PHP to Python. PHP 7 is not the worst thing, but there's so much legacy shit out there.
Lynkfox
and its being phased out by a lot of companies (though if you want to work on Media Wiki... heh.
sturmhauke
Could be worse. I started in webdev by fixing shitty WP plugins on client sites.
cobacalao
Just how long did it take to find out that he didn't show up anymore?
TheVaccine
After the fifth hangover email
PunnyTiger
takes vacations without asking, no one notices. Takes new job, collects pay at both
Deathwing777
No one is commenting how old this post is
Fedotia
Nor that the coder keeps changing nationality. Original one was Indian.
meskarune
seriously I've heard everything from british to indian to someone who went to MIT.
whoisyourdaddy
The scripts were written on parchment paper with a quill.
Deathwing777
You mean on the side of a cave wall in goat's blood
chalkydude
a build engineer rolling back databases for the DBA sounds strange to me.
GeraltzRivii
Having worked in dozens of these environments, the DBAs maintain the internals of the databases, the systems team is responsible for data.
GeraltzRivii
The systems team is responsible for where the data is backed up, how frequently, and the only team with access to restore the data.
GeraltzRivii
The DBA team is responsible for tweaking the performance of each of the DB servers, writing stored procedures/queries and db metric reports.
GeraltzRivii
More often, the DBA team doesn’t have any clue as to how much actual storage the entire environment has. They just know what they are given.
Khelben350
Staging, not production database, there is a difference.
fissionchris
Many DBAs aren’t trusted with the keys to the kingdom, much like the same way devs who “code in HTML” aren’t given root access.
chalkydude
Seems like an oxymoron for a DataBase Administrator to not have those "keys to the kingdom". I mean, they're the **administrators**, by def.
fightfightfightlosewinfight
They are administrators by title, not necessarily definition.
chalkydude
"A database administrator (DBA) is a specialized computer systems administrator who maintains a successful database...
fightfightfightlosewinfight
I'm saying the realities of the situation may dictate that the title of an individual may not be be accurately reflected in their job duties
chalkydude
~https://www.webopedia.com/TERM/D/database-administrator-dba.html administrator by definition.
chalkydude
...environment by directing or performing all related activities to keep the data secure."
ReusableBastard
This is a reminder that most of our jobs can be easily replaced with a small script.
SatherPrince
Totally aware that all that Saves my job is the fact, that my company doesn't pay well enough for good programmers to stay and automate.
DarthFutuza
Which honestly is a poor excuse on their part because if anything it would save them money its pure laziness & fear of change that saves you
SatherPrince
Also the programmers we have are already "booked out " till 2021 regarding work on new features for the software.
Robbann
i thought so too, but i just started a new industri job, i check the weld-machines work and repair the errors. there's alot of errors
ABillionDucks
especially interns
hwatL4bloopy
this is literally what i do right now. Office automation; I remove data entry FTEs
Goldmarble
Going to be a while before this shop automates cleNing of heavy equipment, I'm good.
DarthFutuza
This is what I do for work, ruin other peoples livelihoods by replacing them with AI. :/ Sometimes I feel bad.
thirdbb
someone has to maintain those scripts....thats my job :-/
DarthFutuza
Need to invest in AI to maintain your job.
Audasity
technology typically creates more jobs than it destroys...
kwkspectre
delete this plz
Aldante92
He can't. A script took over his account years ago
ReusableBastard
lol.pl
IAmTheFarmer
Please for the love of all that is holy, do that for my job - project management.
vorodar
Easy: asign random estimations/priorities to tasks, if everything isn't done by the deadline, then send an email blaming a random person.
Tubby01
IAmTheFarmer
Lol assigning blame doesn't get shit done. And ultimately it's my responsibility of it doesn't get done. But if a task isn't put in a UAT...
IAmTheFarmer
Status I guess multiple angrier emails could be sent
vorodar
Hey, I said it'd be EASY to automate it. Not that the automation would be GOOD. Perhaps the automation project needs management... :P
IAmTheFarmer
Duh
Lynkfox
The Best code monkeys/system admins are the smart lazy ones. Neverd catch them being lazy, and everything runs like clockwork
Robvp
Who was it that said he liked to hire lazy programmers because they would find the easiest/fastest way to do something?
TiroDvD
Larry Wall http://threevirtues.com/
hctravis
Bill Gates
NachoPete
Aristotle
TheNameOfThisUserIsRelevant
No, I believe it was a gentleman named Plato.
Lynkfox
Patrick
PewPewDude
Not a hacker, just a code money. Still fuckin brilliant, though. lol
justthebearnecessities
haxor
equityforpunks
Hacker in its original meaning means someone who is (exceptionally) good with computer systems.
Qualtagh
I'd call these solutions hacky as fuck. IMO, you can hack things other than security systems, and doing so makes you a hacker.
st2anger
Yeah and I like this definition better
wolf387465
yeah... no, not really. you have a lot to learn before trying to educate others, lol. https://www.google.com/search?q=hacker+vrs+cracker
arek314
The coffee one though...
RedWingsofSteel
?Code monkey get up get coffee ?
nuanceuponatime
Code monkey go to job!
inboxmeyourcomputerporn
Code monkey go to boring meeting, boring manager Rob.
richiez
Rob say Code Monkey very diligent, but his output stink
alronefisher
His code not "functional" or "elegant" What do Code Monkey think?
ISaidSarcastically
Fucking kids these days ruined the term. *walks up to friends computer that’s logged into facebook* “lol hacked”
Goldstein1984
fivefootbeard
GPLink
Yeah fr. I'm a student learning to code and people ask if I'm a hacker. It's really annoying to me and my other coder friends.
Fuckme721
I dabbled in small coding for about a year once. I get you.
cow042
I got my cs degree and people assume I know how to hack even though I took 0 cyber security classes
KevinTheShiba
Are you a hacker?
ISaidSarcastically
Wear a black hat to school some day, that will really mess with them.
TooFunkToDrunction
The majority of data breaches are user error like this. Technically this is gaining unauthorized access to his Facebook page.
TooFunkToDrunction
Your Facebook example is a better example of “hacking” than OPs post
ISaidSarcastically
Still not though.
TooFunkToDrunction
By the literal definition “use a computer to gain unauthorized access to data in a system” it is.
Decoyape11
The term has been run into the ground. “5 simple hacks to avoid pregnancy.”
justthebearnecessities
do all of them come from a hatchet?
mrwigglypants
hack 1: look like me.
mwoodman
I'd recommend the 1 simple incision instead, followed by a bag of frozen peas.
Decoyape11
I’m told the darkweb sells a kit.
ISaidSarcastically
I’m in this age group when it stared to happen.. having to correct people and tell them they were phished not hacked gets old
Qualtagh
Do we have a better umbrella term for security being compromised? That might be why "hacked" gets abused -- we have a linguistic gap.
snoogans671
Breach, its the term most people mean anyway. Breaches are due to negligence or error and not an intentional and/or malicious hack
Qualtagh
I think for it to catch on it needs to be more general -- there are plenty of cases where people are discussing the consequences of a 1/2
ISaidSarcastically
Penetration testing is a common phrase, but I refuse to use penetrated.
CatOnTheRoof
Wow, that dude should play Factorio :)
captainswoopty
He prolly built an auto script that plays it for him.
yphastos
Or any Zachtronichs game
MalletBallet
MIT wrote a genetic neural network to play EXAPUNKS. Programmers have the audacity to think that at least our jobs are safe from AI...
PCGamingKurshuk
Careful, that's a deep rabbit hole to chuck someone into.
triflersNeedNot
I fucking love Factorio.
TorSverre
Dude, I'm playing it right now! :D
ShadusMacAoidh
Full Bob's Mods, just started building my rail network...
shiftdi3s3l
He probably made a bot to play Factorio for him.
CatOnTheRoof
And it would probably kick ass.
shiftdi3s3l
It's probably achieved full efficiency and finished an instance by now.
GPLink
Check out CodeBullet on YouTube. He creates AI to play various games. Its really cool.
torgo82
.
Ulthirm
He also automates huge rubiks cubes
PyllyNalleMissionaries
Carykh also does cool AI videos
TheGreatOnion
.
emlaxliss
Autodots rollout
shiftdi3s3l
I did, subbed immediately.
CanadaEhBuddy
I will be checking this out for sure!
19thNervousBreakdown
Wowowow
BigManBeard
.
kmah12
.
wulf97
I'll have to check that out
spgcorno
Dot
ColLeslieHapHapablap
It's all on GitHub: https://github.com/NARKOZ/hacker-scripts
zartose
.
MindRape
You're a hero
Herpalerp
.
IDGAFtheApathetic
.
CorruptedJester
.
pandalicious
This is my dot. I use it to save things for later.
CmdrEngineer
Dotting mcdottus (save for later)
Feuring
.
Grimro
future me come back to this when you need some cpu hacks
GonzoRunner
becausewhynotchoosethisrandomname
.
idontmindanythingcouldstandhere
.
ItsATideAd
.
bmickeydeeznuts
.
norill
disclaimer: those are not that guys scripts, it's just some dudes decided to recreate them. quite lousily if you ask me
spronin
Yeah, I was curious about the coffee script. The re-created scripts read like pseudo code
qolume
This is made so badly. Seriously.
sebastianthelobster
Must check this out
TheHeroWithin
.
JoshuaRowand
.
UsuallyComments
LifeIsAnIllusion42
georgelouisecostanza
.
LokiShinigami
ObliqueRay
As a programmer... these are glorious.
ElbowdeepinaBulbasaur
koalagijtze
implementing it right now
mikeatike
Lol: https://github.com/NARKOZ/hacker-scripts/issues/14
tzap
Not very lol in my opinion except for the final comment. OP was polite and in context. A reasonable worry with a reasonable rebuttal.
ThatLurker
dcrimsonking
.
TheDudeOrHisDudeness
what the fuck
CometLaHal
It will never end with them
tzap
What wont end with whom?
CometLaHal
Censorship will never end with those who would restrict freedoms for the sake of equality
tzap
Has that actually ever happened? And whose freedom was being restricted?
JetstormTF
I like how that guy writes 3 paragraphs about it, and then when he gets a response says "I'm not reading that wall, I don't care that much"
mikeatike
And the woman that put a request on his repository to change the name "womb" to point out the absurdity. Which he promptly ignored.
l009
Well, I saw it as a prodigy song. Always have fire starter playing when rendering or compiling.
qolume
more like RAMSTEIN... DU HAST!
FisterMantastic
Same... like "change my future, smack my bitch up", like dude was just trying to change his future.