Belle2318
156294
3299
155
Dec 30, 2017 2:53 AM
Belle2318
156294
3299
155
chrisdafish
Yell “CUM!” Directly into the vagina
Esperwhim
The only mode ill be in is beat mode
seudonym
#15 is incorrect, unless you cut your nails a day or 2 earlier...
samjc23
I am honestly surprised by the number of people weirded out by feet. They're a 100% normal body part and socks hot, itchy, and awful
Ryanator50
I once exclaimed "time to shoot my goo!" And she laughed
calichillionaire
Ekibwurm
missed oportunity here: 18 should read check they are of age
discopants
3 and 13 are key
GregoryMegatron
13 .. I have currently have an 8 year old because of this.
MotherFukaJonez
10 is possible. Just sayin
TheNerdFonz
#1: EVERY. FUCKING. TIME.
chickeninthebushbush
This is the glitchiest glitch of all sex glitches, waiting for the creator to update the OS
PerritoFeo
Then why are they called 'fucking socks'?
buttbuttpartywagon
My prescription diabeetus socks are the only things keeping my doodle up.
thisistheinternetimheretotellliesandarguewithstrangers
Bet you are sexy in them.
MadameDex
#18 Don't try to coach her on how/when to cum. It's distracting and then she has to start all over again.
N3crobard
Why would I take off my fucking socks? The reason to wear them is right in the name.
ceelochairvote
Rule number 18:
v
jaymckool
Kregular365
One does not simply "shove it up your butt"!
IndianaSteve
Says you
ronkooby
Gabe doesn't find your shenanigans funny. At. All.
ThisCallsForADrinkexclamationpoint
I think Gabe was just phoning it in a while before this
bartyartu
No one is a bigger fan of sexual touching than him.
psychedelicpizzamachine
We call #10 a “High Speed Lane Change” and it’s happened to me on accident, & She married me anyway, so points for me I guess.
SingleWhiteMonkey
You sick fuck...same thing happened to me
whatupcorgibutt
Don’t complain about wearing a condom. Yeah I know it doesn’t feel as good. You know what doesn’t feel good? Kids when you have no job
theclassiest
I pull anal beads like I'm starting a lawnmower
domestomp
like im pull starting an un-oiled chainsaw in winter
zegerman5682
Do you also like to be covered in shit and then immediately screamed at?
truthsmiles
Ouch
trigger60
Do you make engine noises as well?
ThaLessahManWulf
Uhh absolutely yell beast mode, the more louder you tell the more intense the orgasm. Or so I'm told.
ThaLessahManWulf
Yell*
immabitmoist
I read that women who wear their socks during sex have more orgasms than women who don't. Read it on the internet so it has to be true!
niggakawaii
And what's the harm of not informing that you're going to finish?
Dribblesky
It’s confusing & a disappointing end when suddenly the guy just stops, like he’s tired & gave up. (Tell your partner verbally or physically)
Fistouille
And also kids, don't play the pullout game, just put a fucking condom.
Crockpotseal
But no condom feels better...for both parties.
FaultyStarsNoConstellations
And not raising a kid for 18 years feels even better than No condom!
Crockpotseal
Master the pullout
FaultyStarsNoConstellations
It will never be completely safe, so no, I wont take that risk
Account123456789
But I love yelling: BEAST MODE!
greenking13
I think Hey Violet has a song about you then.
Letsleepnotphaseme
Upvote. . . then I looked at the user name
jaymckool
I think girls getting fucked with socks on is hot
Shismouche
Pulling out is not a viable way to prevent pregnancy. You have basically 33% chance to become pregnant by using it. Stop spreading ure shit
RdizzyC
He's not telling people to use the pullout method, he's saying that if you aren't using protection, and she says to not pullout, pullout.
tiarali
Yeah but if you just use protection then it's not a problem. So??
Shismouche
Always hear bullshit about pulling out as a way of contraception. Use a condom or the pill
Sloppydrunkcatlady
I'm on the pill, but my rule of thumb is pull out with no condom or don't pull out with condom. Bf's choice which he wants.
yanaimean
Foreplay is every waking moment. The biggest turn on is cleaning, washing the dishes and generally doing things around the house 1/2
walkingtallmachinegunman
That's nice and all but 2 weeks of "foreplay" with no sex is wearing thin
RaynWisp
You can't trick me, Satan.
yanaimean
wthout asking. Women love tiny surprises and flowers for no reason. 2/2
AverageTortilla
virtualcompost
The biggest turn on for anyone I've dated seems to be the lightswitch.
Secsletariat
"Women Love Tiny Surprises"; A Man's Guide to Coping with their Micropenis.
TZO2k15
The perks of being a janitor/custodian...
mechanimated
I have a naturally high sex drive that is pushed into uncontrollable horniness by basic considerate behavior, so yeah. This.
yanaimean
Wow. I hope your man knows how lucky he is to be with you.
TedTheMan
Imgurislongerfunny
Saaaaame. We should be friends.
TedTheMan
Hey
exlurker42
Feet are weird, feel free to leave the socks on, especially if they're something fun like knee highs.
Skadoodlle
If someone came to my bed with socks on , I'd be, "Put your pants back on. We're done."
exlurker42
Cool, more for me
ino84
As I guy I imagine it would look pretty weird if I wore thigh highs at all...
exlurker42
Don't sell yourself short
Imgurislongerfunny
I was about to ask since I wear lots of thigh highs and knee highs.
GuacamoleMoleMolester
Good for you, Dave.
exlurker42
Definitely keep those.
warslinger
Always keep those on during sex
calebzia
+1
Skaldar
but what if feet are cute to some people
exlurker42
I said "feel free" not "you must under all circumstances" do your thing.
TheTimeless
As someone turned off by feet, please leave the socks on, thigh highs are encouraged as well
izmi
I feel you. All socks. Always. I have no idea why feet weird me out, but they do and I love socks because of it. I'm weird, I know.
TheTimeless
I'm right there with you and so have most of my previous girlfriends, thankfully, maybe we're not as weird as we thought
BillnyetheCiipherguy
Some of us (like myself) like feet though.
MikePrato
Yeah but my wife says I look funny in thigh highs.
calebzia
Knee highs are great but i prefer full nude
hamx3
How about toe socks?
TheGirlInTheFireplace
As someone with a foot/sock fetish, leave the socks on dammit!!!
idontenglishsorry
I leave my regular socks and my gf doesn’t give a fuck
bootitty
Do you have irregular socks?
Thatsjustgreatthankyou
Your gf gives no fucks? Perhaps, it's the socks. It's time to let go of Spiderman and get some grown-up socks.
idontenglishsorry
Its always better with Spider-Man socks
LosrFaceNerdBabe
Do I have to put my heels back on after my socks come off? Or should I skip socks all together so I don't have to go through the hassle?
lDesertVikingl
One of each. Keep it interesting.
LosrFaceNerdBabe
I'll definitely take that into consideration next time I can wear heels. Probably April.
exlurker42
Skip the socks and keep the heels on.
davidjytang
Yes. And please no sandal heels.
LookMaNoCleverUsername
Wait, why are you wearing socks with heels?
LosrFaceNerdBabe
Closed toe knee highs - probably from a thrift shop. I'm not too keen on contracting athletes foot
aReasonableMan
Knee high boots?
amp99
#5 Also, don't pull them out like you're trying to start a recalcitrant chainsaw.
andyonetime
Excellent use of the word recalcitrant.
TkMacintosh
...But how else am I gonna practice my dance move "The Lawnmover"?
youstupidpoop
Everyone knows anal beads are pulled out like you're starting a lawnmower
EmotionallyTransparent
Pull on it like you're stuck at sea and its the only motor that will get you home.
3ice
TIL new word: recalcitrant /rɪˈkalsɪtr(ə)nt/ adjective 1. having an obstinately uncooperative attitude towards authority or discipline. —Thx
SumdumCanadiun
There will be shit EVERYWHERE!!!!!
completelywastedpotential
RIPCORD!!!!
TreeDude420Man
Going to Thailand for a ripstart mate.
mossflower
my hubby calls em "rip cord racers"
KrylonFuzion
v o c a b u l a r y
MadameDex
Little bit of blood, little bit of shit and a WHOLE LOT of anger!
amp99
*looks at username* I have the feeling you're speaking from experience here... :o
MadameDex
Lol. It's actually a quote from a very good friend that always had me in stitches.
e1emen7al
Literally?
MadameDex
Perhaps not my best choice of idiom...
AnalBeadsPulledOutLikeStartingALawnmower
*cough*
amp99
Oh, my!
Mandex001
Count them going in and coming out. if you have less go to the hospital. if you have more you have a magic asshole.
IareArobot
How do you even pronounce that?
DragonpenTheOkay
Ree-cal-kih-tran-t (I think?)
norbdc
Here you go: https://www.google.de/amp/s/dictionary.cambridge.org/amp/english/recalcitrant
tveye82
chuck palahniuk "choke"
EvilDeadTed
RIP CORD!
completelywastedpotential
I also listen to Dave and Chuck
banz111
I did not expect to see the word "recalcitrant" today.
amp99
I'm chock-full of surprises! :)
CantStopTheHopp
That and anal beads right?
amp99
Not any longer! ;)
CantStopTheHopp
GeneralAnubis
I read it as "rectalcitrant" and when I realized the error, I decided my version was better.
deepfriedpotato
As a guy in a STEM field I was so confused. Did not know the common definition
fergie4000
What's a STEM field? And what's the uncommon definition?
ntzrmtthihu777
Science Technology Education Medicine/Math, forget the last one. That or something like that.
Crawmak
What if they retract back in like a chainsaw cord?
pookieeatworld
Marry her.
FysyxIsHere
Don't fuck the sarlacc pit
NerdN1
I do NOT want to see that example of rule 34!
16arousedhorses
Too late it’s out there somewhere
ShadyVenator
Then she freaky
DanDansson
HeirElfSquire
.
amp99
BannedAssholes
Then you run screaming.
ImGladWeHadThisChat
No way I'm running from a butthole that can suck like that
ButtSecksMaster
Comment of the year.
CptFloridaMan
The year just started though there will be better comments
GhostWife
I think that's when you need an old priest, a young priest, and some gasoline
RackhamTheRed
do it again, but choke her first
SouryD
Now imagine her making a chainsaw noise.
RackhamTheRed
this keeps getting better and better
Ydafuqitmattertho
Then imagine you do that like 3 times then she starts shaking
ensensu
You only thought it was a girl when it was a chainsaw all along.
Killertomato84
I will leave my socks on they are warm and comfy thank you very much.
Kuvajainen
Exactly. No socks no sex.
Thatsjustgreatthankyou
Ice cold feet are not sexy.
silentjay01
I have poor circulation and now you want me to take them off when a goodly portion of blood is being diverted?
whatupcorgibutt
My socks have corgis on them and I honestly left them on because they were cute and cozy
DonKeydic
I was pleasantly surprised to see this here. Glad I'm not the only one. I only take my socks off to bathe and shit. Not NEC. In that order.
Account123456789
I know right? Shits fucking cold in winter! I’d die without them
BukkakeRider3000
I see nothing wrong with thigh high socks in bed.
TheArkhamAsylumAccountsPayableClerk
Papa needs traction.
Fleggy
Mama loves mambo?
liestheytell
I wear over the knee or thigh highs daily. Never take them off for sex. Too cold and not fetishy enough.
izmi
I wear my socks and I couldn't give a damn if my husband wore his - in fact, would prefer it. Feet are weird.
zombehtodd
SERIAL KILLER!
thatsnotflyingitsfallingwithstyle
https://d1o51r9qdgnnlz.cloudfront.net/animated_image/37d7880f-d28f-48f1-bdf0-f86642d5449f/local.gif
TheVoidListens
Off. Off. Off.
DrBama
But they’re so cozy
SheWolf04
They let athletes wear leg warmers!
Misan6
Same lol also feet are weird and socks can be cute sooo
calebzia
Have you ever seen a vulva?
Misan6
Considering I'm a woman, yes hahaha
formerlyhobojoe
Mine have rubber grip for LEVERAGE
elephantpoe
Get this man a medal.
Killertomato84
I have timberland socks. They have padding and are oh so comfy.
StankyPankySammich
Like, you just own a pair? This makes it seem like you bought them just to fuck in. Your fucking socks. Not that I'm against that plan.
formerlyhobojoe
No they are not fucking socks they are my F.U.C.K.I.N.G. socks
Killertomato84
They're business socks, for business time.
EdumamacationUSay
BEAST MODE!
Carnvorou5
There was a study done it is much easier to achieve orgasm while wearing socks something about warm feet gets you there faster...
TooStronkkk
.
mechanimated
It applies to women, idk about the stats for men. But yeah the theory is that since women are less "mechanical" in their orgasms the /1
mechanimated
presence of distractions (like cold extremities which women are more prone to) are more likely to disrupt and orgasm. /2
Toaddybugs21
Never a problem lol. I cant have anything i get to hot and its uncomfortable
disappointedunicorn
If you're doing it right, she's not distracted.
jevans88
Honey you’d be AMAZED the number of things we’re thinking about at ANY given time. ANY
mechanimated
its pretty easy to be distracted by discomfort imo. kind of like "dont think about a pink elephant", you try hard to ignore it but...
Toaddybugs21
Men dont need any more help cumming faster
deadknightdistrict8
Lol
FabulousBadass
Young men don't, but it is more challenging with age.
boethius
Carnvorou5
Speak for yourself... I regularly just give up and go to bed after about 2hours of nonstop pumping.
Toaddybugs21
I would speak for myself but im not a guy.
tastysauce37
Your hand doesn't count. Lol
Carnvorou5
I agree they work faster it's a mind thing...
grilledcheeseunicorn
What the fuck is wrong with you? Sick sick sick person. Never ever wear socks during sex. Ever
LongDickMcgee
I don’t see what the big deal is long as they know you don’t have some nasty ass feet..and if there’s no weird feet fetish thing
DonKeydic
Came her just to down vote the been out of this
Killertomato84
you can eat an entire bag of dicks. my feet are staying warm.
TheVoidListens
Hahaha it's OK I'll agree with you
BigTittyGothKitty
I see you never get laid.
calebzia
I upvoted you sir or madam. I will hold back the forces of weird so that we can enjoy being actually makes. And yes i live in the cold
calebzia
Naked* goddammit
FabulousBadass
Someone doesn't live where the air hurts your face.
calebzia
You put socks on your face?
FabulousBadass