genericanimefan01
89700
2774
255
Feb 5, 2018 10:25 AM
genericanimefan01
89700
2774
255
DoktorLurker
If I choose Kate Upton and the gamer girlfriend do I get to watch them do the fricka fracka?
thedon89
Maybe Kate Upton would be the gamer girlfriend
WilliamElse
In Harry potter's world, would I still be a muggle? If so, it will be just the same as the world I live in now...
chimmichurrichanga
Instead of the "never ending nutella or unlimited krispy cream" could i fist fight justin AND kim at the same time?
Kailhun
If you have all the money in the world it becomes worthless.
BlendeLabor
Well I would definitely pick Harry Potter. You know why? "Current" times, and there aren't really rules on what magic can do like in LOTR
BlendeLabor
Even if LotR is the better universe, HP would be easier to live in.worst case scenario you are a muggle
BlendeLabor
In LotR, worst case scenario is you're a fucking orc or some random human that lives in mediveal poverty
BigChunkyBubbles
If I had all the pizza I bet I could swing a date with Jennifer Lawrence.
Palfrost
I thank I'd get all the pizza and she'd understand
ShadowOftudhope
This one was eazy. I work at a pizza place where I can literally get free pizza when I want. So I wnet woth jennifer since I livd the dream.
ShadowOftudhope
Went with* fat fingers strike again.
Lukapaka
Must be all that pizza
ShadowOftudhope
Its literally pizza when ever I want. Local food chain rocky rococos. Were a chill group.
AManWoman
And if you had $50,000 I bet you could figure out how to get a hot gamer girlfriend
noviusx
Money like that lasts. Relationships do not.
Alighierian
For a while, anyway.
SuicidalThrillbillyturnedLunaticChillbilly
Unless she streams on Twitch. Then you might get her for a few weeks.
GlowstickJedi
WhiteIce2112
Pted
Smegminator
bryancranstonthrowingpizza.gif
applesforjuice
Why would you want to though
WaterPuppies
Cause shes hot ?
PissedMahPants
He’s probably one of the millions that have seen her butthole
stlkrieg
Because they find her attractive would be my guess.
ISayFuckAllTheTime
She also just seems hella cool in her interviews. Like a genuinely nice person.
ancalime
ISayFuckAllTheTime
Lmao
AskMeForNudes
I would need all the time in the world to answer all of these
RBBaker
Ill take unlimited diabeetus for $800, Alex.
TheYoungGod
If you're talking about the Nutella v Donuts. Go donuts and open a shop. Nutella has too much brand awareness to be overcome easily.
RBBaker
You speak with such authority. I’m thinking of introducing a line of logoed t shirts and hats with a cute little “swimmer”: Spoogewear.
ArdentSlacker
Why would anybody want to go BACK in time 200 years? You'd die of dysentery! Oregon trail warned us! Fek.
Thejusner
Why use professor x in one picture and not... Any of the mutants that can fly?
CumDumster
As a blank man, that time travel question is real easy.
ProfessorMatt
"There is literally no place in American history that'll be awesome for me!"
J0ND0E297
Answer for almost all the question in this list. "Be batman"
gakio12
What is this Facebook trash doing on my front page? Usersub has failed me.
DJThuglifeSupreme
The cynic in me was considering the cons of every choice :/
prfesser
Snarf out Honey Boo Boo's mom on the White House lawn, asshole and all, or, in the privacy of your room, blow a dog?
Yokonui
I like LOTR more than HP, but I'd rather live in the world of HP cuz toilets.
kobyashimaru
Is Kate Upton merely inside the Chrysler, or does she also want me?
NotAmused1001
She'll fuck you, but only doggy style so you won't see how bored she is.
AngelWithAFilthySoul
Exactly, otherwise I'm pretty sure that's just kidnapping.
ProfessorMatt
That's what I was asking- front seat, back seat, or trunk?
1sneakymidget
Talking to animals probably wouldn't be as interesting you think.
jimwormmaster
HEY! HEY! I'M A DOG! HEY! HEY!
KharnApproves
FEEEEDDDDDDD MMMMEEEEEEE
AbusedPickle
Speaking every language would literally set you for life
ButterflyHeimlich
Food, sex, food, food, food, PANIC, food, food, sex.
DeTobiasch
Welp guess im an animal
ClapTrapConjurerOfTheDarkArts
Thanks facebook
AlroyeWiesell
The end of Imgur is near
veryhuman
Seems like imgur is nothing but Facebook and ifunny posts these days.
Whitehawk7564
Kate Upton in the car, in what sense?
PeopleSeemToHaveLongNamesOnImgur
Seems like you own her now. Otherwise you just own a old car that she once sat in and that's not really a choice.
ButterflyHeimlich
Dead. Kanye's tweeting about your ass on twitter because you scored the game winning touchdown for the opposing team.
ButterflyHeimlich
You've stolen the fucked up re-touched Jesus painting and decided to relocate by going back 200 years in the past and you're black.
banditC4lul
This thread is great lmao
Bliffity
You read everyone's minds and they're all sick fucks including your cat
JackIsLacking
I'll be honest, I was fine till Justin Beiber and Kim Jong Un.... That one stumped me...
grandmasterzach
Genocidal mass murderer / dictator, or some kid who sings pop songs? Hmmmm. I can see how that would be a hard choice! /s
RavennaMagnus
I already live in Harry Potter's world. And ninja, every time- pirates wear eye patches, and thus lack depth perception
HypnoChanger
I mean, I side with Ninjas as well, but to be fair to the pirates, you don't actually lose depth perception when one eye is closed. Your 1/
HypnoChanger
brain can actually simulate depth perception fairly well through one eye.
midnightpain
Is it classical pirate/Ninja, or modern? If modern you’d either end up in Somalia, or at the dojo with flag pants and going home to Starla
Irreal
Fantasy or real and if real which period. In the Edo period Ninjas were night watchmen.
Frozenpasties
Being a pirate also means you're generally piss poor and desperate, more than anything else.
ivegottwolegs
Interesting that the pirate shown doesn't have an eye patch.
TheMagicalUpvoteFearie
I'm blind on my left eye, can see just fine. My right eye even overcompensates making me see things sharper at further distances than normal
TheGoodKevin
Fun fact, they'd wear that to preserve night vision in that eye for find below decks
MrHaynies
Nina gives you actual training and a way to stay alive. You'd get sailing and like a mediocre sword fighting ability if that, as a pirate.
thegraybush
I'd rather be a ninja, I've seen what the u.s. Military does to pirates...haha.
Individualsocksinthewashingmachine
And scurvy, shitty dental care, being at sea all the time. Fuck that
PrinceMoheezy
I’m black so by default I’m going to go ahead and go with 200 years in the future
Irreal
The US has regressed into a collection of warring states, half of which have reinstated slavery.
ProfessorMatt
Have you seen TIMELESS? "There is LITERALLY no place in American history that'll be awesome for me!"
pyrrhlis
Ima go to the future anyway. Gotta get that immortality tech, yo.
PrinceMoheezy
Yeah I would go future as well to see where tech has gotten. I was just saying that the good old days were not that great for everyone
WillJeSuis
'All the money in the world' does that mean essentially no one else has money? wouldn't people just move onto trading with something else?
WillJeSuis
"Fuck, I have all the money now but now everyone is trading in sugar and no one wants my money..."
jimwormmaster
*bottlecaps
mikeatc
It's like an eight-year-old made this like 12 years ago
ImInLoveWithAtLeastThreeGirls
200 years ago*
pyrrhlis
*out of unlimited Krispy Kreme
Leevalleyoftheshadowofdeath
Wait when you say all the pizza is it not your choice? Is the rest of your life spent under endless assault from ever pizza ever? Just 1/
Doopapotamus
I was thinking you would become the Pizza God-King, bestowing your divine gift of pizza only to your most deserving followers
BoogalooBadger
Devil's in the detail. Roll intelligence, this determines your ability to create an iron-clad pact with the death knight.
Zixtank
Pretty sure if you hadd unlimited pizza, Jennifer Lawrence will ask you on a date.
DustyMcKnuckles
EricFromAccounts
"Oh my god, like, I love pizza, if I could eat a whole large Dominos in one go I totally would. I'm a regular person." - Jennifer Lawrence
Leevalleyoftheshadowofdeath
Buried under mounds of pizza? Is it time limited? Are you gonna get all the old, rotten, half digested pizza? Will you suffocate? Are you 2/
Leevalleyoftheshadowofdeath
Now condemning everyone else to a world devoid of pizza? I NEED TO KNOW
squishydoodoo
It has pineapple on it.
Caldaque
I read it as all the pizza of the world belongs to you. I would imagine you could leverage this to get a few pizza dates from Jennifer too.
thathippienudistsmokerdudeyouignore
Even worse, does it have pineapple?
KapnKershaw
Yup
lonewanderer101101
Asking the real questions here
IDontLoveBigButtsButIDontHateThemEither
I think you might be thinking about it too much
TheMovieGalaxyQuest
No, someone else didn't think about it enough when making that scenario.
EZMONEY98
Pizza fallout, rotting pizzas cover the land , wild tribes of humans in search of fresh meat , the world nears its end, also a dog is there
Asgarus
There's always a dog.
HeywouldJablowme
That one is by far the easiest one to answer. I can already get all the pizza I want anytime I want it. Hello Jennifer
LethalSalad
It's just a date tho, they never said anything about it leading to a relationship or something. Might as well just be you sitting there 1/2
LethalSalad
with her and just nothing happening at all, and you'll never hear from her again. 2/2
HeywouldJablowme
And then I'd go get a pizza
WhenIcommentyouknowImtakingadump
I think the ability to read minds would drive you insane and commit suicide rather quickly
vorduul
I believe the ability to not read minds is implied. But if it wasn't, you're dead right. That'd be pure misery.
LordHosk
presumably you could control it, and just choose not to. its not like the alternative you would just be constantly hovering.
aPokal
You would never need to touch the toilet seat.
therealVexed
If I could read minds I'd end up rich as hell and would pay someone to hold me above the toilet seat
mmaatt8
Tin foil hat
ISleptWithSomeoneFromImgurAndAllIGotWasThisStupidUsername
Perfect. You’ve convinced me. I’ve changed my answer to reading minds.
DJThuglifeSupreme
It's like having the ability to run. You're not constantly running everywhere, but you can run when you want to.
ImInLoveWithAtLeastThreeGirls
I'd compare it to having the ability of hearing, if there's a sound nearby, you hear it. I don't know if you can cover your mind-reader eyes
DJThuglifeSupreme
Definitely another take on it. With such a short, vague description, I guess it's open to many interpretations.
wraithguard
Cash, cash, neither, sports car, read minds, instruments, Taylor Swift, pizza, don't care, ninja, neither, neither, HP, PC, languages, time
SuspiciousHamster
Great minds think alike!
DatDarthCaedus
Cash, cash, Eminem, sports car, fly, instruments, either, pizza, either, ninja, KK, future, HP, PS4, languages, time... eh, fairly similar.
wraithguard
What do I get?
thedon89
A kiss that lingers a little too long
SjyiN
From your dad.
Scubasteve0571
how do you know that you aren't already living in the HP universe though? Silly muggle...
7ukulKittenJunkie
wraithguard you think same as me XD here have an upvote
Mytrashpanda101
Neither wasn't an option
architect100
Neither was PC, might as well not answer if you're just gonna make a new answer
theyar
If I don't want Nutella or KK it is.
mzxrules
I don't know about going cash on the first one. $50k is a lot of money, but there's a chance the woman could make more than that
wraithguard
There's also a chance she could take more than that.
usersubbordercontrol
I'd go to past if I was immune to all the diseases. Future if I could bring knowledge of the past.
vanfem
I wanna go 200 years into the future, but slowly, at about one year per year speed.
jimwormmaster
I'd go into the past if the time machine had an "oh shit I messed up" button that would rewind everything I did, to preserve the timeline.
ArdentSlacker
If I could go 200 years hence and live in a holodeck, that'd be pretty neat.
Plemeno
You'd be taking diseases with you to the past. Shit they're not prepared for
Bonsaipanda
Also, the diseases in the past would kill you. Actually pretty quickly.
usersubbordercontrol
I'm immune though. Let it burn!
Tarelgeth
Didn't they just discover that rats *weren't* responsible for the plague?
TacoCatte28
Only non-pet owners dream about talking to animals. Pet owners have full range of communication with their animals. Animals are just limited
graceinsheepsclothing
Pet owner here and chose that option.
vorduul
Only weird pet owners think they have a full range of communication with their animals. The best you get for the most part is tone response.
TacoCatte28
You don't actually talk to one another but you communicate back and forth what either part wants or feels.
Veckzis
Tone response is the most basic sense for them to understand/react to.
Veckzis
I mean, dogs can associate words with emotions and actions. You just need to train/be with one long enough and they'll get it.
vorduul
There's room for debate on the emotions side. Actions, no question. If you use an excited tone saying 'Do you wanna die?' my folks dog wags.
Veckzis
That's why I said one that you train with. If I use an excited tone and say "ok, let's go to sleep", my dog happily runs to bed 1/2
Veckzis
But if I use an angry/upset tone and say the same thing, she'll drop her tail and sulk to her bed. Dogs can learn words. Ex. Die=Bad/pain /2
TacoCatte28
My cat can tell when she's hungry, when she want to go outside, when she wants to cuddle or go to bed. When she's happy or upset.
vorduul
I don't argue some level of communication, just the silliness of 'full range of communication'. Heck, I don't have that with my folks.
TacoCatte28
Then don't project on what I'm saying and then debate your own strawman.
vorduul
I quoted you...
TacoCatte28
If animals could talk they would go "hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry" Not "Hey there mate can I get some food?"
TacoCatte28
If they had intelligence enough for coherent conversation then they would no longer be pets. At least not our pets.
vorduul
Like when you see fido kick its legs in sleep. Is it having a dream the way we have them? Is it more primitive, some how? Cheers, anyway!
vorduul
I... mostly agree with you? I suppose intelligence in animals is more of a non-pet thing. The only part I wonder about is pet dreams.
SteakNazisMustDie
Lot easier to deal with vault full of cash than try and shift artwork. Unless you really want it, or want to be famous for stealing it.
TheCouldHaveBeenKing
Art thief is sexier. Fact.
KyleBadge
Unless you have a fence already set up or a launderer. I should know, I've seen heist movies.
SmoothThunderPunch
While yeah the bank cash would be easier to spend, for value vs. ease of transport with the getaway the art is the way to go
Zappers42
Could you imagine trying to fence off the Mona Lisa?
OopsImAPumpkin
That art only continues to accumulate value, the money you get from the vault is fixed.
valen00
about 70% of these have a pretty obvious answer
VadFanRickard
Yeah, but I feel like an art heist is much classier.
thtguyjosh
Plus isn’t it a thing for banks to track the serial number on the cash
devnull791101
stealing peoples savings is worse though, one piece of art minimises the vitims
ISenseAChallenger
if in the us, there's laws that protect the people for up to 200,000 dollars per, whether that is due to the bank being robbed or it failing
devnull791101
sure but a widow waiting for a much needed bank insurance pay out will suffer more than someone missing a piece of art
ICallPeoplesBullshit
The money in a vault isn't all of that banks money. It's distributed amongst their locations other places so she'll be fine.
DoctorWhoDoctorFancy
If you have alle the money in the world, you're just stole from yourself
StoleYourPounds
or a criminals ambition
TheLannistersSendALovelyFruitBasket
That's assuming you're pulling off a fort Knox kinda heist. Most banks only hold a few hundred k at most
MyLabrum
Lupin could do it
NEEDZMOAR
most banks nowadays dont have a lot of cash so the question is how much money ud get awa with compared to an art heist.
BendyDicksCumOnMyBaps
Well the idea of stealing art is for cash anyway. So you're defeating the middle man essentially.
ASolitudeGuard
I dunno, I think the Mona Lisa and everything in the museum it resides in would be worth more money than is in a single bank.
BendyDicksCumOnMyBaps
Well think about it, if you got say £12 million; you can hire a team to steal the paintings.
IStoleALoafOfBread
wouldn't the bank know the serial numbers on the bills and be able to track the theft that way....or is that smt i learned from a movie?
AntonioStark
There's an NPR podcast that brought in some art heists expert or something. Desire for fame is a huge motivator apparently.
Morg729
Would getting away with the heist also mean fencing the art?
mooncoral
It says get away with stealing them, not with using/reselling them
AustinTracht
But dye packs.
Beebsta
You must know the proper people if you wanna steal and sell art. Otherwise you end up with a closet worth 500mil with nobody buying it.
Darven
Yea but in the last one i get all the money in the world so i can just sit at home on a pile of cash staring at my Starry Night
SomeGrayFox
Or if your first name is Neil.
Luxuz
i suppose you mean Neal?
AlphaKill
*James Bonds*
Luxuz
Oh you mean Nick Halden?
EccentricNimoy
There. Are ways..
BreakTheCircle
Art can be worth millions per piece, most banks don’t actually keep much cash on them, at least not into the millions.
YouBetterBeleiveit
Yea but for all you know that vault might have 1000 dollars.
PossiblyJonSnow
Banks don't keep a lot of cash in the vault. Not millions or hundreds thousand.
dhsikxbwsidkdmnekdkdnb
Except Banks don't keep a lot of cash on them. Stealing and fencing a valuable artwork will get you a lot more cash
Psyfive
Yeah the average back robbery take is like $4300. I'd take the art
ICameInLikeAJingleBell
The bills are also marked. I'd much rather get $10 million wire transfer for a painting than 50million of traceable bills.
liverouslavatrees
Maybe you want to keep the artwork to look at it...
JanaJustinsdottir
Someone stole “the scream” but was immediately arrested bc it s impossible to move famous art
monodop
Just put it on craigslist
HeatingBlanketsForAll
Just curious; how so? Because it’s so famous and everyone is looking to see where it goes or....?
wotemer
I just wonder how someone could even think about getting away selling such a famous work where every expert knows its current gallery of.
Alighierian
Because art dealers and such tend to pay attention to art-related news I'd say, so when somebody comes in with a 'found' painting that |1
Alighierian
2| looks suspiciously much like the one which was reported stolen not too long ago, it gets a bit awkward.
OverpricedCrayon
Most people buying stolen art aren’t stupid enough to take it to an art dealer to sell. Its called the Black Market
OverpricedCrayon
Not so, Steven Spielberg unknowingly had a stolen Rockwell painting. Stolen are can be sold, not easy but it can happen.
OverpricedCrayon
AND most stolen art isn’t recovered. Scream is a rare example of art being returned.
thedon89
Idk man I feel like trying to launder that much money would be a real bitch
pc404
Bs aside, it's not that crazy
TohmaytohTohmahtoh
Laundering a masterpiece might wash the paint off...
8gigsofshark
That's what bitcoin is for
MrDustey
Just never use it in commercial trade, only use it through stuff like eBay, and use a strawman.
mzxrules
compared to trying to sell the damn Mona Lisa?
rabbiebabbie
Buy a car wash!
JamesEarlJones
And have your wife run it while you make more money.
rabbiebabbie
And trim your fucking eyebrows!
Hybris51129
But if you have all the time in the world then its not so bad.
Tissueaccount
Just Rob a black bag bank. Or a gold exchange.Cant get in trouble for that doesn't 'exist'
Hammsammiches
Money laundering is so you don't get in trouble with the IRS because you are spending money they don't think you should have.
dlw45
Black bag bank?
mitzialbright
Wtf is that?
dlw45
That's what I want to know
IHaveACatNamedGustav
Yeah, you're getting away with the heist, but maybe not the rest of it.
RussianJudge
But if you can read minds...
Shenili
Think about the future though, money can lose it's value, but not a painting
Irreal
Paintings also just have a value because we think they have.
Shenili
Yeah, but like in 31st century, while dollars could just stop existing, Mona Lisa is still gonna cost a lot
8gigsofshark
That's not how value works
Shenili
Why not?
8gigsofshark
What is the intrinsic value of a painting? Next to nothing. It hangs on the wall and you look at it.
8gigsofshark
Art is generally market valued, and that valuation can fluctuate the same as currency.