40envelopes
155874
2400
47
Dec 9, 2022 2:43 PM
40envelopes
155874
2400
47
Etherealvalentine
Ppl think this is SOOOO funny until the guy they were supposed to be teaching needs to be relied on.
CrispyNougat
To defend yourself, constantly ask to be shown
iwishjtmoneywasstillavailableitsmyoldvideogamemoniker
Animals found on the highway get proper Christian burials.
Ssigel
It's worse in Mexico. The imaginary tools are often an allegory to something sexual.
Gray365
DrunkBobRoss
The print shop once sent me for an 11X17 three hole paper stretcher, and a jar of halftone dots.
drdorman86350
Shops always out of Prop Wash, how else am I supposed to clean an aircraft.
marbiter
Boats… 5 gal bucket of soapy water with a few 5lb cannon balls in the bottom. Virtually impossible to carry down the docks.
madeejit
Skyhooks, a couple tins of stripy paint, and a box of sparks for the grinder.
xenorac
Tartan paint anyone?
SpecialAgentPinkfinger
I'm actually teaching them! "Make sure you use a lot of tape on the black phase because otherwise you can't see it on the black wire"
Ras668
When i first started working at a lumber mill, they sent me to get the "Board Stretcher". Wasted 45 minutes on that.
AK90
The lumber mill I worked at had a tradition to dump all newbies in the sawdust collector, its the size of a barn and SEVERAL meters deep...
BishlamekGurpgork
I heard about someone who was sent out for striped paint and came back because the person he asked at the store asked if he needed vertical
BishlamekGurpgork
Or horizontal stripes.
SJSHARPei
Flux capacitor (if they haven’t seen Back To The Future) and a bubble for the level.
Hammerwell
The fun js, that for some levels there 'are' spare bubbles available. With the enclosure of course but beggars and all..
SJSHARPei
Not in the Knox box. (I checked)
Djkb6718
We're going to need an exhaust sample off that F15 go get some trash bags.
Imgerruinedimger
We did that on the tanks too. That and the ol chalk and hammer "find the weak spots in the armor" gag. Also the PrickE8 cable.
Djkb6718
The old gods smile on us this day!
thesmelge
If you're supposed to be training someone, pranking them makes them not trust what you have to say in future.
Daeyelle
Yeah, like I’m brand new here, and you’re the experienced one. The shit you’re saying doesn’t make sense but I defer to your knowledge…
TheSlackerKing
my favorit was we sent a guy out to get fallopian tubes. went arround asking everyone. we only had one woman working with us at the time 1/2
TheSlackerKing
he asked her and she said "well we only have 2 of them here and you can't have them"
abraxasfury
I like to ask for a multimeter, and when they come back with one I tell them I need a metric one
phyzzx
why is this one in YOUR toolbox then, lol
totallyspambox
Go get me a bucket of steam, AND HURRY!
Hammerwell
It's only available in cans.
Filanwizard
And I come back with a bucket of water and a blow torch "The parts trailer was out so I could only get you steam from Ikea"
Seizurebleak
My favourite is the "long stand", made me laugh so hard haha
davej77
That or the skyhook
Zakcl
I fell for that as a teenager.
StitchesAreMyJam
This was a favourite in operating theatres.
USSBigBooty
I'm gonna need a left handed smoke shifter and thirty feet of gig line...
Lampmonster
Oh, I've heard of gig line! Navy right?
spaghettiThunderbolt
Usually stored near the grid squares and machinist's punch.
InfocalypseRising
I don’t care if this is “just part of the job” or “everyone does it,” it’s fucking stupid
fudgycurmudgeon
It can be good fun for all involved (ok) or it can be straight up hazing (not ok)
notthatkaren
A life without whimsy must be incredibly sad.
Xalaqia
A life without bullshit is pretty good.
marsgoose
It's a shit test, depending on how you react you are either accepted or bullied into quitting. Same as getting a mean nickname.
OldTownPhantom
Had someone try this with me. I just went to the break room until he decided to come find me. He asked "what the hell are you doing?" 1/
[deleted]
[deleted]
OldTownPhantom
Yeah that was the only job I've ever been "fired" from too. Toxic bullshit.
OldTownPhantom
I said "You asked me to find a tool that doesn't exist, so I decided to sit here and wait for someone who knows what they're doing to 2/
OldTownPhantom
train me." He complained to the manager and I was let go on day 1. No regrets. 3/3
westPAguy
TwoSeamer
That first attempt was actually pretty good tbh ?
Shamwowser
I've worked as an enclosed space entry attendant and had to take air samples. Sure am glad I got a digital reader instead of having to use a
Shamwowser
bag like that poor man.
ahorseelbowdeepinme
I read a green text once where a dad sent their kid into an autozone with the credit card and said buy some blinker fluid and they came out
ahorseelbowdeepinme
With a $500 receipt ( The clerk told the kid they'd been had and helped him get revenge).
TwoSeamer
Plot twist - all final clearance items without possibility of return
mrsparkle001
DeityFalkor
I once worked in an aircraft tool room. id10t bolts, 100 meters of flight line, and non-ferrous magnets were the most common new guy request
OddlyPacific
Get some prop wash and an extra bucket for an exhaust sample.
Filanwizard
tbh given the rules in aviation I am surprised there is not a special soap for washing propellers because reasons.
DeityFalkor
There is (or was) a fancy soap called prop wash. One of the new guys ordered 3 10 gallon buckets of it. He won.
Newtacolover0
Make sure to give the gage to check the P.E. P.S.I
TheRiattAct
In old school theater is was wash the gels, the covers for lights to change the color. They were water soluble in the long long ago
mak10z
Go fill up the blinker fluid
Illithidbane
Sure thing, boss!
Pheehelm
nullbr
For a bmw that lasts for millions of years
EchoRomeoIndiaCharlie
ID-10T. Ha! Idiot!
irisewithredeyes
tygerpsimatrix
One way to test for steel-toes...
quade
When men wear protective gear (hardhats, steel-toed boots) the pranks only get funnier.
METROlD
I broke my toe and its forever crooked and pops every 2 minutes, this isnt funny to me-unlss he was wearing good boots.
bam6470
I’ve never broken my toe and it doesn’t pop at all so it’s very funny to me.
OverwhelmingSurplusOfDiggity
Considering the hats and vests, it’s a reasonable guess that they had proper footwear as well.
BDSMThroatHugs
Try kicking something wearing steel caps, hurts like a bitch.
frischcode
Sure thing boss; did you want a left or right handed metric crescent wrench? Don't come back until I find it? No problem.
ProphetofEntropy
generally its not your boss that will do that, just some asshole who's worked their a while.
KobeHeli
I was sent to get the "wire stretcher" as an electrician 's apprentice.
MufinMcFlufin
arkuamore
I'd take a nap and say I'm waiting in ambush for it to feed on the 10mm socket that I borrowed for bait.
BurlapNutsack
Hi I was sent for a down ladder? We got a guy on the roof but only an up ladder...
TieflingDelivery
At discount tire we would send them looking for the bead stretcher
thealmightywalrus420
Don't forget the board stretcher
amundost
Bring the brickstretcher while you're back there...
ProbablyConfused
Not joking I actually have a metric left handed crescent... The markings are in metric, and the screw is threaded the other way. Bahco 9031P
slack3rdav3
yeah pretty sure my crescent has both metric and inches on it.
Totalwombat
Balcony are backwards.
PraiseTitties
Go to the Tool room and get me a can of A.I.R
battery1979
Comes back with can of compressed air.
ghos5t7
Full day of pay for dicking around on your phone, Check
frischcode
Day? It's been twenty years, but I'm not giving up looking until I retire or the checks stop coming.
Sen7ryGun
Cheque
azgrak
Boss said I forgot the pump house key. No such key existed. Found a dead snake on job site left it on his truck seat. He screamed very 1/2.
azgrak
2/2 loudly. Like heard from a mile away loud. He didn’t say one word to me for over two years. Which was nice. He was an asshole.
JayEnfield
It was because of these kinds of jokes that when I was sent for "Exhaust Fluid" for the trucks, I thought they were fucking with me.
Jgold101
Lefthanded light bulbs did it for me.
JayEnfield
A few minutes later, the journeyman is angrily loading up crates of DEF by himself and I had serious egg on my face.
VodkaReindeer
VW engineers didn't think it was real either, so they had to fake those emission tests.
Hammerwell
The name "is" kinda stupid though. Because "exhaust" is a somewhat undefined word.
Etherealvalentine
Yep ppl think it's sooooo funny to cry wolf and play games with ppl they are supposed to teach. Then they get mad when the new ppl fail.
JayEnfield
To be fair, this journeyman had never pulled that sort of thing on me. But I was new and on guard for it. :D
Queenbeeknocksmeonmyknees
Had a boss tell me to shake the dressings at a grocery store, spent 4 hrs. He came laughing at me saying it was a joke, I said I know but...
Queenbeeknocksmeonmyknees
You paid me for it so who was the joke on then? My mom worked there and warned me ahead of time.
cbale2000
@OP Metric crescent wrenches are a real thing though...
FoxyToast
When I was a new mechanic, tech sent me for "left handed drill set" I laughed and said your not fooling me, that day I learned they exist.
itdoesntmatternoneofthismatters
CanThinkOfUsername
Maybe the joke is that you don't use it as precise tool so being metric or imperial doesn't matter much.
Level21Magikarp
I feel one can still tightan down to 1/4 freedom units feels snug then rotate.
clarkWhogotsanity
That's an adjustable wrench, and crescent wrench is a fixed size
PwnageHobo
That's a shifter
TheLookAndFeelMUSIC
I hate those things. There's one's where you squeeze the handle and it automatically clamps on, no slipping, so much better!
GoldblumNoises
Vice grips?
TheLookAndFeelMUSIC
No although they have their place. There's a spring in the handle, instead of a thread to adjust the size. I haven't seen them in many shops
TheLookAndFeelMUSIC
This thing. I don't know the name and can find it on Google.
GoldblumNoises
Self adjusting pliers, or Robo grip was a brand name
Chimpanzeezeetop
Go calibrate this tape measure
Beezlebubble
My shop is in aerospace with AS9100D with ISO9001 specifications. If someone tells you to do that, you grab the calibration guy and DO IT
ntek2
Our shop requires third party calibration on all tapes..
isetprettygirlsonfire
That is an actual thing you should do. Some tape measures are off.
FiestyFriendFox
Freaking fabric tapes that the kids wind too tight or whip around like a lasso and suddenly no one knows what happened and why it's off a cm
TheMonkeysAngst
just the tip
Chimpanzeezeetop
You’re only supposed to use them for measuring tape.
Frederf
You have used three inches of sticky tape. God bless.
creamcheezus
Yeah but how would you calibrate it?
Cutwail
Throw it and get a new one.
pleaseconsiderthatImightbejoking
with another tape measure
isetprettygirlsonfire
At start of projects we compare tapes to make sure they all agree. It's suprising how many are off a few inches in 20'. Bad ones go in trash
avidatheist
But what if you have 3 bad ones that agree with each other and one good one?
isetprettygirlsonfire
At leat theybare all on the same page for working together. There are also ways to calibrate them. That is just the quickest easiest method.
smutfiend
Use calipers.
MurphyPandorasLawBox
Uhhhh sure. Lemme go measure this 18x24’ room with a pair of calipers.
FiestyFriendFox
Somewhere I saw a thing about sound measures... seems like too much math though
BarryTheCyborg
Those require calibration as well
foreigntrolldetector
but who calibrates the caliper calibrator?
BarryTheCyborg
Mike, he's the best at eyeballing it.
DocWats
I know you're probably joking, but they have certifying boards for most measurements. Similar to NIST for thermometers here in the US