Imakeyoulaughlongtime
156231
2506
131
Apr 13, 2017 11:20 AM
Imakeyoulaughlongtime
156231
2506
131
pennilaymay
They didnt do it....
Paladin714
Why not just fix the guys spinal cord? Isn't that easier & better?
Cptmike
CxTaros
C-3PO did it first.
FrecklesIRL
As opposed to 34 hours of money.
atleastfourcharactersinlength
I was thinking 34 hours of mass.
goflyblind
missladymondegreen
Jan in the Pan.
TheKarateChimp
Heads will roll if they mess this up
pocketpython
LigJoeMama
But it's 2018.
AntivanMilkSandwich2
What's up fellow future traveler
Rivet95
I don't even know how they'd do it. Do you have them side by side, and connect individual blood vessels as you detach them?
cardiomatters
Connecting vessels is the easiest part of this operation. Spinal cord fusion is the hardest. It's never been done successfully. Never ever.
TheGriffin
The first *SANCTIONED* human head transplant
TheWorldEndsWithYou
There was a controversy with this doctor and Konami when mgsv was coming out
pedigri
Why does he look exactly like he's from a horror game?
ThisIsGod
The doctor doing this is actually incredibly sketchy. I don't remember his name, but a lot of neurosurgeons are coming out against him.
ImAkuTheShapeShiftingMasterofDarkness
Dr. Iamve Ryevil doesn't sound like a bad guy.
Nomtombouts
"34 hours of time"
AddictiveTendancies
Yes but will the operation be on Pay Per View?
KaJuN
Is that $30 million in American healthcare or real healthcare?
neutropia
About 43,750 iphones.
ShaunDreclin
PoopyPantsStinkerButt
They could put this shit on pay per view and cover the cost of the surgery.
hadtochangeusernameforreasons
pay per view is still around?
ChickenFingerFingers
Live stream it and some product placement.
seedye
Hubris. The guy is going to glue the nerves together into one big clump and hope the signals just sort themselves out.
chrizyo
Wait what? I thought this was a Metal Gear Solid V marketing hoax?
foxmsfDD
This is why I loaded more comments. Metal muthamutha Gear reference. +1
Panzer89
Aside from the two doctors looking similar there is nothing at all that ties them together. Besides the games been out for almost 2 years 1)
Panzer89
Why would they keep perpetuating this if it was just one big prank to hype a game?
chrizyo
Commitment.
BylawsBarrister
If this is successful my D&D character will FINALLY get to wear the Head of Vecna!
GetSmartBeEvil
Problem is, there is literally no science that has been peer-reviewed that says this is remotely possible. So even if it works, it won't...
GetSmartBeEvil
...really advance medical practice all that quickly.
Nalianna
except for the times that this has worked (on monkeys)
ProgeriaProstitutes
it didn't work. The spines weren't connected.
GetSmartBeEvil
Those papers (if you read them) are horribly flawed, though, with very little accountability, questionable peer-review, and no knowledge...
GetSmartBeEvil
Of quality of life (if it even was sustained life).
ATimeTravellingRobotFromTheFuture
Spoiler, it doesn't work. If they don't die during the procedure they usually die from complications or mental issues afterwards.
IHateCarpets
Why he will have mental issues if works?
ATimeTravellingRobotFromTheFuture
Extreme cases of depersonalisation disorder. Loss of sensitivity or extreme sensitivity. Constantly feeling "wrong." In some cases people
ATimeTravellingRobotFromTheFuture
completely lost a sense of self, believing they're not themselves. The shock of head transplants is just too much. Fix the body you're in
ATimeTravellingRobotFromTheFuture
rather than attaching yourself to a new body. At least until cybernetics and bioengineering improves.
dehominisdignitate
Usually?
CherokeePeopleCherokeeTribe
I think some Frankenstein guy set some precedent with this stuff. The literature is fairly extensive on this topic.
Molder12
How do they connect the brain stem and the spinal cord?
VanDerGroot
They don't.
SimpleMemeFarmer
Science.
TimothyGodfrey
crimp caps and butt splices...
Unoski
Duct tape
Horus175
I read somewhere that, due to differences in body chemistry, the patient (if he lives) will likely be driven insane not long after surgery.
sovietracism
I read that if it's successful he will gain superpowers.
Vizreki
"What have we done!?"-150 doctors and nurses.
CapnNCoke
I remember hearing this. It terrifies me.
shedooooooooo
The brain and spinal cord are extremely interconnected per individual. He won't be able to communicate with his new body.
Horus175
Sauce: http://www.sciencealert.com/world-s-first-head-transplant-volunteer-could-experience-something-worse-than-death
Nomtombouts
Lol I'm not going to take an article from "sciencealert" seriously
ThisIsGod
Almost every single article has basic errors that could have been fixed if even one person proof-read the article.
highfidelityfood
Terrifying. But neat.
ThisIsGod
I hate Science Alert. They're like "Science Lite" if science didn't care about detailed accuracy or even basic spelling errors.
ShaunDreclin
"I fucking love science" *I fucking love unscientific clickbait in image macro form
PreciousPotato
I can totally believe this. I mean, the neurons around the gastrointestinal tract are the same as our brain cells - need them for all /1
PreciousPotato
kinds of "thinking". Gut feeling, losing your shit, butterflies in your stomach... there'll probably be lots of miscommunication.
Nomtombouts
Wait what
PreciousPotato
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enteric_nervous_system
ShaunDreclin
hahahah
PreciousPotato
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enteric_nervous_system
Iworkinazoo
If this happens well then curing spinal injuries should be a breeze. Can't wait.
Maxmar
A "breeze" cause 150 doctors and nurses and 36 hours sounds like that
Iworkinazoo
right, I agree... I'm skeptical.
cardiomatters
Lol. Don't you think they should try curing simple spinal cord injuries first then? Just to prove that they know what they are doing?
Iworkinazoo
yes.. what's the symbol for sarcasm? :)
cardiomatters
Oops . I am bad at recognizing sarcasm. My bad.
CraftedLine
Spinal cord injuries are harder to fix due to the cord not having a clean, straight cut.
cardiomatters
Straight cut is the least problem here. Scar tissue that is forms when cord is healed after fusion stops impulse from going through -
cardiomatters
is the real problem. That scar tissue is unavoidable. And it makes the whole idea of reattachment of spinal cord impossible.
CraftedLine
Thanks for the info. Haven't had time to follow.
ThisIsGod
We've already started fixing people with spinal injuries through exo-suits connected to neurons.
Iworkinazoo
that's not 'fixing'.. that's using sticky tape - not to take away form the work though. Are they using an exosuit on this guy to walk?
ThisIsGod
I'd rather be in a body that can be fixed with a phone call, rather spend 30 million on a new body...
ThisIsGod
"Sticky tape" is relying on doctors to make a head transplant feasible, the body dies, machines just stop working until they're fixed.
ThisIsGod
Sticky tape would only be an apt analogy if installing people with the ability to move again, was limited. It's not.
Iworkinazoo
we haven't gotten to the stage of repairing the damaged spinal cord. That is fixing IMO. Ten years, 1/2
Iworkinazoo
they told us 22 years ago. always 10 years away
ThisIsGod
We can combat biology all we want, but the future is cyborgs.
ThisIsGod
Fixing a damaged spinal cord isn't a long term solution. Outfitting people like Iron Man IS, at the least, a longer term solution.
Timesplosion
Nice that they specified hours of time. As a midwesterner, I generally consider an hour to be a unit of distance.
Gunslinger8912
If it was minutes and seconds, I guess it could have been an angle...
TommyWa
It's 3 hours to Houston and around 13 to Sante Fe. And too many to California...
dokpsy
Must be Austin then
washismycopilot
As a Southwesterner - same!
VictoryWine
Yeaaaaa boiiiiiiiiii. 20 minutes to downtown. I've no idea how many miles that is
Lebim
I snorted. This is so true
TheFonzAyy
Like a parsec
Dedeurmetdebaard
numbat
Western Australia...I know what you mean
DigitalGuru42
*days. Days for distance in WA ;)
numbat
Very true. But hours for traveling around wider Perth ????
Chemdog500
I take pride in trying to estimate how long it'll take to get somewhere. I'm pretty good I'd like to think.
donkeymoney
As a mid-Atlanticer, we do as well!
SmellOfMonkey
So they are going to be operating for 34 distance?
rkymtnthunder
Yes!!
cominginhot
telemeters exist
bmjflow
I'm about 5 hours from KC.
LordNoodles
Six hours to Chicago or KC for me
Agent
I wouldyave assumed 34 hours of beef ribs.
GhostlyWhale
If you're not used to traveling, explaining distance in units of time is much more clear. Especially for kids. 500 miles means nothing to me
Javertoldfriend
As a midwesterner I don't go by miles I go by minutes. An hour is nothing 5 hours is far.
imtiredofthinkingupaccounts
use to be a truck driver in Kansas, dear lord this post is on point
wrecklaw
As another midwesterner, I do the same!
Trollhydra
As a former Midwesterner i still do it in the city!
plusoneforyou
"how far did we travel?" "bout three hours south of the city" wait.. that works.
srslydude
As opposed to a lightyear, which is a unit of time, of course.
paigezero
Then what do you measure time in?
Timesplosion
Courics.
peachesforme
that is far from just a midwestern thing
DidYouKnowThatCashewsComeFromAFruit
I live about half hour from the twin cities
youwishyouhadaunicorn
I love half hour from the Twin Cities
Timesplosion
I laugh half hour from the Twin Cities.
AwkwardKeming
I told someone from England that my college was five hours away from my hometown, and they asked if traffic was really that bad.
AwkwardKeming
And I was like, sweetie no. Then I had to do hours * mph to come up with the distance and convert it into kilometers.
VerySmallCake
Don't know anyone who uses km. We're an odd bunch of "lets go half metric but sod the rest" I would be so confused and thank you profusely
AwkwardKeming
I was with a mixed bag of foreign students at the time. Might have been a Belgian or something and we just happened to be in England.
AwkwardKeming
THEN I had to explain that I lived in a very average-sized state. They said in that time they could drive literally to France.
hispanicyankee
Yeah a lot of European countries are pretty much just the size of US states
relicen
Where I live, 5 hours won't even take me to a city with more than 150k inhabitants.
AwkwardKeming
Yay small-town folk! I grew up in what I called the capital of nowhere, because at 8,000 people we were the biggest for an hour either way.
srsfaceI8C
Text someone from the UK while you drive through Texas sometime. It'll blow their minds you're still in the same state 6 hours later.
AwkwardKeming
I don't know anyone from the UK and I'll never drive through Texas, but if I do and I do then I will!
ILikePunsMoreOrLessThanYouDo
The guy they're performing the operation on can't move his arms or legs, so he thinks he isn't losing anything.
IAmFatBarbie
So the paralyzed guy's head will be on the brain-dead guy's body?
MaxZimuss
Is it gay when he eventually touches the new junk?
Michmike810
You really don't believe this garbage do yo ? Once the spinal cord is severed there is No way to reatach ir
PinkGhoul
Unless you're a neurologist, I'm gonna believe the 150 doctors who are saying it's possible and not you
MrSpankalot
Yeah. This is bad science. Honestly I don't believe they will actually even try this. They can't do this with a monkey, why would it 1/2
MrSpankalot
Work on a human 2/2
PinkGhoul
But they did do it on a monkey successfully. Once in 1970 and again in 2001
infomercials
"How far away is it?" "About 20 minutes." Yup...
baldewok
He clearly has lost his head.
BubblesSayingDecent
Actually the body could reject the head and he would suffer an existence worse than death. That's the main worry.
jonigod24HUN
maybe his life but we will found out ... (if he survive the operation i will shit my pants)
thealmightywalrus420
Also without the transplant he only has a couple years to live
BillNyeYourMomsAGuy
Except $30mil? Or is he not paying for it?
MinorClarification
I am so excited. I hope they live stream it. This is like landing on Mars but more difficult
tatterPrincess
He is gaining a crap load of debt
EffectOfLegend
I'd say he really isn't
rezpawner
In a situation like that, it's vital to keep your head.
rylecx
It's unequivocal human experimentation which is why he's doing it in China
mcber1029
That's amazing. Can't fix his problem but will successfully transplant his head to a host body. Wow.
HiddenSanity
Well, it's worked on mice? The cadaver practice runs went smoothly? It's honestly a long shot but things will be learned either way.
hitshappens
Noone said anything about successfully. Noone has any idea if this will work. Most experts say no fucking way.
Rogahar
Whether it's succesful or not, medical science will at least learn some cool stuff that could be used to help others in the future.
ChronologicalMyopia
Yeah even they can successfully fuse the two spinal cords, there's all the circulatory issues... i mean holy fuck it's practically murder.
Computational
More like assisted suicide, since the guy signed up for it haha
ChronologicalMyopia
Except you don't go for assisted suicide thinking you have a chance, no matter how small, to wake up better.
Nedji
Since I've heard of it a few years back, I've been rooting for the guy. I really do hope it works.
Melanorosaurus
I can imagine a sensory overload akin to insanity, your brain suddenly piloting a body you weren't born with. Like ghost limb syndrome.
clid3r
He won't be able to feel anything anyways. He'll still be paralyzed.
mattsall
Why? They're gunna reconnect the nerves surely? Otherwise what's the point?
clid3r
You can't reconnect the spinal cord yet for any type of motion or sensation. It's the holy grail of medicine
EatingOreos
The first penis transplant went like that (China 2006). The guy freaked out and had it removed again.
FsImgur
Wth? Source?
EatingOreos
https://amp.theguardian.com/science/2006/sep/18/medicineandhealth.china here ta go :)
FsImgur
I'm actually a bit worried to click on this - Guy loses penis, gets new penis, takes it off? lol. https://youtu.be/byDiILrNbM4
ThePickle
His body is also failing and he's going to die, so it's a no-lose situation for him
CaptainAmerica24
There are things worse than death, if this goes badly he could be in unspeakable agony before he goes
Wazzamaniac
Having to take anti-rejection medication to stop your body from destroying your head sounds real bad but I guess better than the alternative
ThePickle
One the one hand that does sound bad, on the other hand that sounds METAL AS FUCK
Ruhig
That sounds pretty minor vs being trapped and helpless in your own body, while slowly dying.
NexiKuro
Having your own blood attack your face seems like a pretty shitty way to go though.
Ruhig
Lol, that's why you make sure you don't forget to take the pills.
Wazzamaniac
To be honest, wouldn't want to be that guy either way...
ThePickle
Pretty metal way to go
thoushaltnotpass
It stands on very borderline ethical grounds... Experts agree there's 0 chance that it works, but the Dr sold it to the patient anyway.
TheManInBlackASicilianAndIocanePowderWalkIntoABar
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=dog+head+transplant
BeepboopSimpSoup
YES, WE KNOW
omgitsadamz
Plus wouldn't it be better to use the body to give organs to many people as opposed to giving them all to one?
FsImgur
"We know you've been a good used car salesman, but we have another opportunity for you.."
ReekDidNothingWrong
Chasing fame at others' expense.
johnvictor
At the very least it may provide some good information for research on nerve damage, etc.
KckUNjUbR6GMwpnD
Surgeons can't even reattach a thumb with the nerves intact. This guy is going to die. I hope the his organs will be donated.
clid3r
They're not expecting him to regain any motorfunction.
LimeMime565
Those Russian dog experiments though...
snewsh
and the monkey experiment
TheManInBlackASicilianAndIocanePowderWalkIntoABar
Well it's been successful on dogs so why not humans? Hell, we attached 3 heads to one body and all was good.
thoushaltnotpass
I don't know what your sources are but none of the animal experiments he did was a success.
TheManInBlackASicilianAndIocanePowderWalkIntoABar
Look up the nazi procedures. They did head transplants and put 3 heads on one dog. There are videos of them doing it.
CaptainLateToTheGame
You keep spamming that link and saying it was the Nazis, but the first result is about the Soviet experiments.
TheManInBlackASicilianAndIocanePowderWalkIntoABar
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=dog+head+transplant
Schmuck4hire
Seriously? It's worked on dogs? Can I get a source on this?
TheManInBlackASicilianAndIocanePowderWalkIntoABar
The nazis are the source. Look it up.
Binsto
russians*
tumoore
Harry potter.
empathie
The full procedure has never been done for what I know.
derppnukem
It was successfully completed on a rhuses monkey in 1970 by a Cleveland neurosurgeon. The monkey responded to visual and audio stimulus.
TheManInBlackASicilianAndIocanePowderWalkIntoABar
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=dog+head+transplant
justsome
That's pretty dope.
Stinkdog
He's making a joke about Cerberus the three headed dog that guards the underworld for Hades
TheManInBlackASicilianAndIocanePowderWalkIntoABar
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=dog+head+transplant
Schmuck4hire
Well. Don't I feel like a dumb.
TheManInBlackASicilianAndIocanePowderWalkIntoABar
It's not a joke. It was the nazis. Look it up. Plenty of articles and videos documenting the practice.
KckUNjUbR6GMwpnD
What about the other guy they're performing the operation on?
z3lfmoord
Chinese prison inmate.
cherypi
He doesn't know it yet. He still thinks it's a routine prostate checkup
madradglad
He's dead
impostersquall
he dead already
bpetersen
Organ / body donor
tr0Jan
he ded
dcwldct
He lost at Rock Paper Scissors.
undertheaurora
Which says a lot when the guy he lost to can't move his arms or legs.
booooooooooop
http://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/russian-man-volunteers-for-first-human-head-transplant/
openmindedpup
Thank you!
GapingAnalCavity
He's just looking to get ahead.
Its3amAndImFeelingSaucy
die in a fire.
ILikePunsMoreOrLessThanYouDo
I like that pun.
OperatorTX13
I lol'd
nohoman
WubbaLubbaDubbDub
IfWereStillAliveInTheMorningThenWellKnowWereNotDead
This is why I keep coming back to this site.
Nightshiftart
Funnyjunker
Fuck you for making me laugh at that stupid ass pun
dkonev
codayop
Bravo.
technobass
Foag
LincolnSiixEcho
booooooooooop
He's a brain dead patient. The family signed a permission slip. They are treating it like a regular organ donation.
manslut
Plus if it works and this guy fucks people, they get more relatives!
iwonderwhatthemaxusernamecharacterlimitis
...
INoLongerCareBoutThisName
When you said "permission slip" made it sound to me like in elementary school
VodkaReindeer
Then time he's getting THE organ too.
MyCatLikesToFruitcake
Fascinating!
BenSnow97
Which one counts as the donor?
marine0351w
the brain dead patient
FreedomWaffles
i thought the problem was that nerves don't like to re attach. and aren't organ transplants only good for a few years?
reacata
Some people live with them for decades and decades. It just depends on the organ and the immune system etc.
reacata
He'll be heavily immunosurpressed. Rejection by the immune system is why they commonly fail.
Veggisaurus
I wonder how it would feel waking up to a completely different body. Would he be German if the lower body was German and his head isn't?
Avlaen
now we need to do genderswaps!
icelandicsealbear
It's almost a George Washingtons axe problem.
MyCatLikesToFruitcake
"Aww man, this guy's tiny. So, folks, I have another transplant in mind..."
NopeNopedyNopeNope
So, he'd have another head transplant?
revcleo
No, Nationality is a case of legal documents, Culturally german is a case of how you were raised. Genes don't count.
subject626
So would any potential kids legally be his?
EmeraldN
Hitler would like to have a word with you.
rbandrews
But do the documents go with the body or the head?
FerricGuy
head ? or body ? at what point are you not you and the rest of you is put on someone else so that it is them ?
[deleted]
[deleted]
Blamblam101
Training? Necksercise?
ceramicpear
baldewok
Classic Ship of Theseus situation.
drwarp
I was hoping someone would say it!!
baldewok
Seems like you are as nerdy as me. I'm so sorry.
Stensticles
The body can reject the head, not the other way around. Therefore it would be a head transplant.
TemporaryUzername
well no one ever got a prosthetic brain, so I would say the answer to the question is pretty clear.
Splosions
I have seen several facebook users that have prosthetic brains.
Shadow027
You are your point of conciseness, and what MadeInsane said.
Bystandr
My ex mother in law got a kidney transplant and picked up the donors appetite habits and had a marked personality change, so your question
infiniteflux
Really?
Bystandr
Yeah, really.
Bystandr
resonates on several levels.
ProgeriaProstitutes
i think kidneys secrete a hormone
MadeInsane
Pretty sure the entirety of what we are is located in our brain, the rest is just noodle like appendages
HyrumGraff
R'amen
FerricGuy
so then this is a body transplant, a head would be the other person.
empathie
I think both are correct, but since they are going to attach the guy's head to a body, it's easier to understand as a head transplant.
youreathing
Our gut bacteria significantly affect our behaviour, and there's growing evidence that our CNS is more distributed than once thought.
Lambpasty
RAmen
SexDungeonsandDragons
Anecdotes say that organ transplants can result in huge shifts in personality and behavior. Might be due to nerve paths outside the brain.
Pirsquar
Or the fact that the quality of life is greatly improved, and they are likely taking far fewer medications, many of which alter mood.
SexDungeonsandDragons
But that doesn't support my childlike desire for magic to be real. :/
shedooooooooo
Yeah they're treating the head as if it's a body part. But really the body is a part of the brain. This operation won't work.
MASSIVESPACEMONKEY
The good thing (from a purely medical point of view) is that we will still learn a huge amount regardless of the outcome. Which is neat.
BangstickMagnum
What of the man who's body is being used?
Hetuni
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/russian-man-volunteers-for-first-human-head-transplant/ That's the guy.