Don't smoke they said, you will die young they said...

Mar 18, 2017 11:24 PM

JoshPatson

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347306

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7273

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350

Unverified Oldest man, wiki points out that no independent group has confirmed his age

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

I think its just a place holder date. Aren't all games without a release date listed at 12/31?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Doesn't look a day over 100!

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Helluva fake ID. He must've been buying his mates booze in pre-school

9 years ago | Likes 49 Dislikes 2

Haha that cigarette. Don't walk into that light, old man.

9 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Well i better give up smoking then... no fuckin way i wanna live that long.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Yeah if you do a little it of research you will see that his age is not confirmed.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Yeaaah there's some Asian guy doing this every odd year

9 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 3

I somehow don't believe he's that old

9 years ago | Likes 37 Dislikes 1

He's in better shape than me

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

seriously, no ketchup?

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 3

Idek why, but this makes me nervous, hence my username

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 4

remember the Apple dumpling gang Don?

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

v

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Well he looks fantastic.

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 2

Show me a picture of you in 100 years

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Dead. I'll be dead.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Plot twist: it's a typo. They meant to put 1780.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Right, and I'm the Queen of England.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

wow! it's an honour to meet you your majesty

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

hello, peasant!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They'll never be able to independently confirm it, so Jeanne Clements record will remain. Long Live Jeanne! ;)

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 2

Not for long, with these medicinal improvements

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

no noticeable difference will show for at least a decade and a half

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

When we're talking lifespans in the 100s, 15 years isn't much

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

yup

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Snopes?

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

When the fuck did Snopes turn into buzzfeed, what the hell?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

i been saying for a long time - snopes is BS. sometimes good, often suburban garbage, sometimes deliberate misinformation, a CIA psy-op.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

I know enough about Indonesia to suspect otherwise. The doc is probably incorrect as even these days they flub birth dates on purpose 1/2

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

for religious reasons, among other things. It's probably an approximate because in Indo you MIGHT get one birth cert ever, and they 2/3

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

don't print more for you or keep it on file like in the US. You lose it, you guess it from that point forward. Considering his age, my 3/4

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

guess is they lost it long ago around WW2 era-ish, and at some point in more modern times, he needed an ID for something so they just 4/5

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

made up a birth date for him and went from there. There's no way they can independently verify it. He's obviously very old, but not THAT old

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Probably they mistyped and he's born in 1970. He gets that look by smoking cigarettes 16 hours a day.

9 years ago | Likes 1233 Dislikes 19

Damnit - beat me to it :/

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Does he look 46 to you?

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 40

"He gets that look by smoking cigarettes 16 hours a day"

9 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 3

Do I look like a banana to you?

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

v

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

Nope, he started smoking in an attempt to die.

9 years ago | Likes 227 Dislikes 1

I need a source for this please

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Really?

9 years ago | Likes 74 Dislikes 1

Hahaha, savage

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Yeah Sragen authorities were renowned for their statistics dept. in the 1870's!

9 years ago | Likes 922 Dislikes 17

Also the 31st of Dec seems a lil fishy...

9 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 1

At least with refugees who don't know their birth date, they are registered as having been born 31.12. I would guess it's like that here too

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

That would mean that the birth year might also be off some years. Even if the ID is legit otherwise.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

You know, people are born on every day of the year...

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

like everybody who gives a fake birthday on the internet doesnt use 01/01... might be similar here

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's true out of convenience, but some of us are actually born on these "convenient" days.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hence I'm saying it isn't certainly fake, but just fishy. You know full well what I mean and are just nitpicky. Happy birthday NewYear boy.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Actually, it was a Dutch colony then, and they had excellent records. There's still no way this is real, but that's not because of that.

9 years ago | Likes 306 Dislikes 3

Yes, it was a Dutch colony. But I wonder if they recorded the births of rural people. Remember that everyone at that time was born at home.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Now I feel kinda bad that my comment got 500 more points than yours...

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 4

Plot twist, probably 35 year old smoked a pack a day since birth.

9 years ago | Likes 95 Dislikes 2

I was thinking the same. He might be 90, but smoking for 80 years makes you look like that.

9 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

My grandmother turns 99 this year and had been smoking since she was 13. Doesn't look bad at all for almost a century old.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Has*

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Jeez even his titties gave up 30 years ago!

9 years ago | Likes 268 Dislikes 6

Titties baby pleeeaase

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Now they're just chilling on his belly

9 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

Gravity's a helluva drug.

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

+1 to you for the best comment of the day. I'm still laughing lol

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Lol!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

I just googled it and the oldest living person was 122???

9 years ago | Likes 104 Dislikes 3

A key factor: she had a comparatively stress free life. Basically never had to work a day, ever, didn't have a crazy amount of kids

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

bc this is bullshit

9 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 4

Google 'oldest living person in the world' and it brings up others but after scrolling you'll get to the Indonesian man

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

She only quite smoking at age 117, having started at 21, because her arms were too tired to light a cigarette and didn't want to ask any one

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That is because she is the oldest with actual documents of birth date from the time of birth. There have been many claiming to be older 1/2

9 years ago | Likes 113 Dislikes 0

2/2 but none with documentation from their actual birth, it is all after the fact years later that they got ID with birth date on it.

9 years ago | Likes 75 Dislikes 0

And French!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

So she's singing the national anthem each time she sees a white flag? ;)

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 8

JK though. Foreign legion and specialised forces (at least - have no clue about regular army) are good :)

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Yes because theoretically, without any intervention, the human body can physically last just 125 years, so 122 is reasonable, 145 is not.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 7

I've watched the people on Intervention and none of them are gonna make it anywhere near 100.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

[deleted]

[deleted]

9 years ago (deleted Apr 22, 2017 2:09 AM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

No, it wouldn't. Your body stopped rebuilding itself so it's very fragile and will slowly start to break down under any stress.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Aging doesn't magically stop, it's a process caused by the fact that cells don't regenerate as quickly, so wear and tear sets in

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Source?

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Cut him in half and count his rings to be sure.

9 years ago | Likes 3711 Dislikes 18

Either you've got confused or are racist for calling him a tree because he's black... hopefully the first...

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

It's amazing how quickly I see the comments I want to make on here. Take it^.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

"They will chop you down just to count your rings" Aesop Rock - Rings

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Count his nipple rings

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

v

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I count one ring

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

you could get a core sample from his brain. it'd leave him mostly intact, and since the brain regenerates, he'll be fine in a few months.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

He's five.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You don't have to cut a tree in half to count its rings! Just take a 'core sample' by cutting cylindrical section through the trunk.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Just count the rings on his butt hole ya freak!!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 3

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Aqua teen my brother!!!!

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

"Well look at that. 145 rings. He was telling the truth. Too bad we killed him to find out."

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Scrubs reference?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

No reference. Just recently read an article on the methuselah tree.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

101, 102 oh look a drought, 103.

9 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 1

9 years ago | Likes 194 Dislikes 1

Who is that a portrait of?

9 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

Samuel Johnson.

9 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 0

The fact he deliberately went with that face for his portrait tells me he wasn't a very serious person.

9 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

Thats for trees silly, for people you need to mash them into a paste then use radiometric dating

9 years ago | Likes 644 Dislikes 3

Radoing for a date? By my metrics that doesn't fly so well.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Also works on fish. Fun fact I just learned at the Audubon Aquarium in New Orleans

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Po-ta-toes!

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Nsh it's actually a thing. Bones have microscopic growth rings. It's how paleontoligists measure dinosaur ages

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Getting a piece of bone is usually enough. Break his legs!

9 years ago | Likes 128 Dislikes 0

don't worry the grass touching his leg will do that

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Only weapon nearby is a hammer... I'm thinking his skull would be my best option...

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

/a/nuWUt

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

those can be changed, take it from the skull.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sir I need your leg

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sneeze in his general direction and that's what will happen

9 years ago | Likes 68 Dislikes 0

And fart in his general directions too, he would die gassed :D

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

Wtf do you eat that could kill a man

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You're terrible. +1

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I try ^_^

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

[Cue obligatory Aesop Rock]

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Searched just for this comment :D

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Was hoping someone would say this. Such a good song.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

The Impossible Kid is so fucking good compared to almost everything else these days.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'm still so happy people are starting to hear about him. He's been around for like 20 years and is just now blowin up.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I don't listen to him as much as I listen to Eminem or Tech N9ne, but his flow and understanding of words is off the fucking charts.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Been a fan of his for nearly a decade. His music really helped me through some tough shit. He's a hero of mine for sure.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

v

9 years ago | Likes 58 Dislikes 1

v

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 3

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

v

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

Not really sure I'd count a drivers license as "official documentation" considering undeveloped countries in that 19th century didn't record

9 years ago | Likes 2095 Dislikes 34

According to my Malaysian documentation I was born 7 months before my birth. Only takes 1 clerical error.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

145 years old and still driving? Hmmm...

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

Do they take your license when you stop driving?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yes, so you don't try to drive if you're no longer able to. This pic says they renewed it in 2014.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He drives!?!!!

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Dude look at him

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2

My granddad died in 2008, to this day we don't know how old he was, we say 90ish. We're not even in an undevoloped country, we're Canadian.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Thats not drivers livense, its a...how to say...citizen ID? We have different ID for driving license

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Not only oldest person, but longest con job ever. Yeah. His life's purpose was to long con you.

9 years ago | Likes 53 Dislikes 5

No single subject is more obscured by vanity, deceit, falsehood, and deliberate fraud than the extremes of human longevity - Guiness

9 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

What do you mean "that" 19th century????

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

Yea, well I still got about 20x more points on that comment than you've gotten combined in two years. Are you sure you're Canadian?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

1870 was a year in the 19th century.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I think he/she meant why does it say "THAT 19th century," as in, there are more than one?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Yeah my dad's license says he's a older than he is, he just wanted to drink when he was 17, this is in Australia btw

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

Sorta the same with my dad, his driving license is a year older than his passport as he wanted to drive when he was 16.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Hell, they got the birthday wrong on my license in the united states. Granted it was only a 1 year difference but still wrong.

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

they don't even put my full name on mine just my first initial and my last name.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Fuad?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The person who made my license just made a mistake is all. Guess they type it in manually and hit a wrong key.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Oh ok. I knew a guy named fuad that when he moved here they put the wrong birth year on his papers

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Oh, I thought you just mistyped fraud. But no I'm not fuad.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Thats not a driver's license though. Its a national citizenship ID where they look up his birth certs and relevant docs.

9 years ago | Likes 201 Dislikes 26

My mom's birth on Miyako island in Okinawa wasn't reported for 6 months so her "official" Bday is in Feb, but she was born in Aug yr. Before

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Eh you'd be surprised even in the 70s how poorly records were kept.

9 years ago | Likes 77 Dislikes 3

The 1870s?

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

Them too

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

yeah my dads from China and his "fake bday" is on pi day but his actual birthday is on may 4th

9 years ago | Likes 409 Dislikes 3

May the 4th be with him.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 2

Hey your dad and I share a birthday. Go pops.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Nothing wrong with either date.

9 years ago | Likes 107 Dislikes 3

Mike tython agrees

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

That depends on your political opinions. Look up China and may 4th revolution

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

you sure its a fake date and not lunar date? you can easily check if it's the latter with an online lunar date -> solar date calculator

9 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

Can you just figure it out for us?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

You will need to know the year as well, so no.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

When immigrating my parents had their B-Day filled randomly

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

The fuck is pi day

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

A retarded "holiday"

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 4

A holiday born from math is retarded?

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Dont pretend you actually care about it

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

March 14.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Can't have than in Europe :(

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Einstein's Birthday then.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0