Twitter Schmitter

Nov 12, 2013 1:13 AM

Emily Volman is going places. Not college, but places.

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

At first I was all tl;dr, but then I was all, wait this is gold.

12 years ago | Likes 62 Dislikes 0

But I don't like avocado :'(

12 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I saved more of these than I care to admit.

12 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

lazer pointer at a plane = CATastrophe

12 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Lee Newton!

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Just imagine going on safari to see packs of pugs and hamsters

12 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

LEEEEEEE

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

If you say so, "Ahm".

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Hey, where else can I listen to 40 minutes of straight flute? Why else do you think I made this call?

12 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

*roaming the forest in grumbles.

12 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

YES!

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

AND NOW WE ARE BOTH SAYING RIDICULOUS THING!

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

When I was little I would always send thank you cards back. One time I thanked someone for sending me a green thank you card. I don't know.

12 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Love seeing someone I actually know in the post, Yeah Lee Newton! #LeeasaurousRex

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Suddenly, "Emily Volman bikini" is trending on Google.

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

mmmm Lee Newton

12 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

There is such a beverage, I believe. It is called pulque, and is described as 'just shy of being meat'.

12 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Nice getting lee newton in there... I love her way too much.

12 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Yay Sourcefed. :)

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This post is like a collection of Mitch Hedberg jokes.

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

LOL Spiders with great hair! HA! >.<

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

A pack of pugs is called a grumble.

12 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I am so glad someone posted this

12 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I'm finally an upvoting something before it's on the front page! And this time I'm helping! Yay!!

12 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

That Klondike bar one resonates with me.

12 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

But the real question is, what would you do to BUY a Klondike bar?

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Pay money

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Saw my real name in the thumbnail. Freaked me out.

12 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I was gonna say what the fuck, your name is Bear? Then I glanced again and wow im a fucking idiot

12 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Oh well you were close. See, I'm Alexandra the bear.

12 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Thats my name also :D except I am not a bear, but a coont

12 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Lee Newton on Imgur? Yaaaay

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Sweet, brand-new, front-page worthy post! I can totally make an awesome, witty comment!Now it's my time to shine. 3,2,1: Sad Ups, more like-

12 years ago | Likes 163 Dislikes 14

...Goddamn characters limits -__-

12 years ago | Likes 68 Dislikes 7

This made me smile.

12 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 0

Technically, chocolate labs are edible, in much the same ways babies are edible. But starvation is more favorable to eating either of them.

12 years ago | Likes 53 Dislikes 3

Not just edible; delicious (but not very chocolatey)

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Says you. Om nom nom

12 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Would definitely eat a chocolate lab before starving. Not ashamed.

12 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Would definitely eat a person before starving. A little ashamed.

12 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Speak for yourself

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"There's no other option, we have to eat this baby or we'll starve!" "Dude, it's been like 45 minutes."

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Yeah, but I had a really light lunch today.

12 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It's ok, we have the dog.

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Chocolate labs and babies, that's how world hunger was ended.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

brb ordering a ''Worst Trophy Shop'' trophy

12 years ago | Likes 1158 Dislikes 3

That one got me rolling.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This was the best one.

12 years ago | Likes 57 Dislikes 0

I love it when the first comment is the best.

12 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

I lost it when I read that one. I never got it back, either.

12 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 1

ok "MrJavNic"

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I would make it a second place trophy -- they shouldn't win anything.

12 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

-=Worst Trophy Shop runner-up=- -=2000 - Present=-

12 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Plot twist; you work at a trophy shop.

12 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

+1 for Lee Newton

12 years ago | Likes 171 Dislikes 1

Sourcefed lovers unite!

12 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

I logged on, as I am using my friends computer, just to upvote this comment.

12 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Much obliged :P

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

fear the leeasaurus rex

12 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Hence my saying "LEEEEEEE" XD

12 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

"Lee" "Newton"

12 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

who dat?

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

From Sourcefed. on the youtubes.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

i shall check it out thanks :)

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

she's part of a youtube news team called sourcefed, which is part of defranco inc. both are awesome! :D

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

thanks :) i'll check her out

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

+1 for you because A) You are part of the nation and B) You are part of Imgur. We are friends now right?

12 years ago | Likes 47 Dislikes 2

Sup Nation!?

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

I KNOW ALL THESE REFERNECES HOLD ME

12 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

i am too! can... can i be part of the friend party too? ^_____^

12 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Indeed.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Anonymousartist, what do you mean 'now'? I thought we were friends before...

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I used to be a part of the nation. I still am, but I used to be.

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

haaaaaaay my nation peeps!

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

by that rule, we too are friends, under oath of sourcefed

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Me toooo?

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yknow what though? Mandy Slamberg is actually pretty on to it with the upside down car window thing.

12 years ago | Likes 588 Dislikes 1

[deleted]

[deleted]

12 years ago (deleted Apr 15, 2014 10:04 PM) | Likes 0 Dislikes 0

^ And that's how you know you haven't mastered basic grammar skills.

12 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 3

Nice.

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hmmm except for that most of the time I like to have my window open for fresh air on my face, but the heat on my feet...

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

except car wrecks

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

But where would the window go when you open it... Above the car?

12 years ago | Likes 58 Dislikes 0

It would be like a school bus but reversef

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Who cares? That's for engineers to figure out.

11 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

no, it would open low in the door, by your legs, and roll upwards. You wouldn't be able to see to your side, but...

12 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 1

Isn't seeing to your side kind of important for, y'know, driving?

12 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

we would need a transparent car, with windows by your feet..and something that would stop things from flying off the floor..

12 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I think we just need a hoverboard, is the solution here

12 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

OH. I totally pictured a window in the same spot, just reversed so that it opens bottom first

12 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 0

So did I. Couldn't they make it out of a more pliable material and make a slot for it in the roof? huh? Huh??!!!

12 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Oooooh. So it curves around the top!? Brilliant

12 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Then where am I supposed to ash my cigarettes?

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

I sat and stared at my wall for 5 minutes wondering why this isn't actually i thing.

12 years ago | Likes 66 Dislikes 2

12 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

YES.

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Where would the glass go?

12 years ago | Likes 52 Dislikes 0

Along the outside of the car.

12 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

clearly you aren't thinking with portals

12 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

I drive an Aperture car.

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well. That was the biggest flaw i came up with.

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I was just thinking that.

12 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

if it opened by your legs, it could potentially slide upwards, so when you opened it the glass would be where the window is now

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah, why would you want to do a shoulder check anyways?

12 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Up!

12 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 1

... and then through the roof and on the freeway. FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!

12 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

While I think the thought is great, this is the first thing that popped into my head. +1 for spatial thinking.

12 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0