I can see why he doesn't call himself a blacksmith. A blacksmith would be able to turn iron bar stock and make those things through a lot of heat, but he does it through cutting and grinding. Still a great craft, but he respects true blacksmiths too much to call himself that.
If you want a fun and surprisingly useful tool, get yourself a 12 lb sledgehammer head and put it on a 16 inch handle. The few times I've used it for smithing it functions as a drop hammer while gripping next to the Head rather than swinging it like a normal hammer. But for smashing things it is quite fun.
iirc, that axe shown when hes like "the weapons i make are inherently funny" weighs something like 100lbs? (google says the darius axe (from LoL) is 106lbs). a landsknechte flamberge, partially known for being one of the biggest swords ever in "regular" usage weighs about 18lbs. for conan, arnold wanted a real sword, not some light weight prop. after trying it out, he requested they double the weight. thats the one in the movie. that weighed 9lbs
Its his son and if i remember right there was a reasonable amount of padding involved. Prob still headache inducing but at least they thought about it before.
Some Irish travellers actually made their living collecting and working with scrap metal. Tinker is now considered a derogatory term for Irish Traveller.
For what it's worth, many blacksmiths did make giant swords, just not for combat. They were either to show of a noble/king's wealth, for ceremonial purposes, or to show off the blacksmith's skill. Nonetheless, they existed. There is also the German Zweihander sword, which was exceptionally large but still wieldy. Here are some historic examples of big-ass (not to be used in actual combat) swords:
Those I can understand, especially the giant Japanese ones (the differential hardening heat treat on such a long blade would be very difficult, for example), but were intended as such, rather than to be wielded, rather than the unwieldy fantasy weapons we see here.
Would those have been blacksmiths though? Honest question, as I think I recall some specific legal stuff with the guilds that regulated what sorts of things a blacksmith could or could not work on, so there would be different types of smiths for different types of things. Hence blacksmiths, redsmiths, whitesmiths, swordsmiths, armorers, etc... However, I might be misremembering that, as the legal intricacies of medieval law are pretty messed up and complicated.
I think it's more that Cthulhu doesn't really do much smithing, as in he doesn't heat up metal and hammer it into shape. In fact he generally avoids heating the metal too much since it's usually pre-treated. I think he called himself a metal crafter or was it worker rather than a blacksmith. I think it kinda goes into semantics but I guess the craftsmen might be proud to call themselves with the right terms.
It's just wielding it for the several hours of a battle that becomes a problem. A claymore only weighs 2.5kg, you could carry it all day without noticing, but swinging it for more than 15 minutes requires forearms like tree trunks (that's a lot of torque!). The biggest zweihanders are longer and twice the weight, no chance to use them for long... and those swords look bigger than zweihanders.
I thought 'weeb' referred to people obsessed with Japanese culture and iconography. With the exception of the literal-Japanese sword (Odachi Norimitsu), the others are all appropriately European in design, right?
I believe that's actually a modern day myth. Pier Gerlofs Donia or "Grutte Pier" is indeed documented as a large man (supposedly 7ft tall), but he was born in 1480 and began his rebellion in 1515. That sword is a bearing sword that dates back to 1400-1430, and all bearing swords were crafted without cutting edges due to their unwieldy size. While it's not impossible that he may have used a sword slightly larger than average, it is highly improbable that that sword was ever put into his hands.
I have seen Medieval Combat Sets: Armor + Great Sword, which were documented used by the same person. One in Goslar (Germany) and one in Warsaw (Poland). While the Sword were intimitating, and larger then myself, with 6.4" the Armorsuite on the podest was still smaller then me. This Swords were used to breach the formation, to breach the Shield walls: A heavy armored Knight storm forward and let the sword fall into the enemy formation, withdraws behind his formation, ready the sword again.
I see, that sounds like a fascinating find! Based on your description, those were perhaps Zweihänders - German great swords that could be up to 84 inches in length! Something I left out about the Bearing Sword is that the blade thickness was constant throughout, adding a lot of heft, and the hilts were too oversized for human hands. Zweihänders have thinner blades, a normal sized hilt, and a distal taper, which drops the weight down to proper, despite the length.
Yes. Luckily magic, dragons flying ships and all the other stuff are very realistic. Would really break the immersion of fantasy if everything was unrealistic.
Who cares what's unrealistic when it looks cool? Fantasy can be whatever you make of it my dude, from gritty and realistic, to over the top and fun. There's something for everyone.
We already know they are. It ain't some big brain to be aware that these weapons don't make sense in the real world. They aren't actually used for fighting in the real world and fortunately for us, the laws of fantasy don't have to always match up. Fantasy would be much less diverse if it wasn't allowed to differ from the real world...might be called...history.
Yeah they always seem tacky to me, my brain is unable to see it as anything but absurd but I can understand people having different interests and enjoying the huge weapon look. Live and let live! Still love you all! Still think large with cool detail and semi looking functionality but not absurdly large would be even cooler. I wish I could blacksmith.
Iirc God of war or whatever the game is called where kratos kills gods is an example of realistically sized weapons (at least compared to his size). Another is the fantasy knives with black wrapped handles and a Black blade finish and sold as a pair, the Riddick's claw blades as seen in Chronicles of Riddick. Before the movie it was just a regular fantasy knife with the usual multicolor wood handles. https://www.amazon.com/Claws-Riddick-Dagger-Knife-Chronicles/dp/B0009X2CSQ
Indeed. It is very educational seeing Michael use the 'weapons' at the end of the build. Mostly it is only possible to lift the thing directly up and then half bring it down half let it fall onto the target. Very occasionally a lighter one might be able to be used with a sideways swing but as expected that ends up dragging him round in a half circle.
It doesn't matter how unrealistic they are. If someone effortlessly holding a sword that big came running at you in real life you would instantly shit yourself!
No, I would outrun them, at least if I were in better shape. Certainly would be able to dodge their blows in a close-in environment like woods or indoors.
Lmao, I guarantee tou wouldn't be able to dodge shit. Your argument of "if I were in better shape" can apply to almost anything, you could outrun Usane Bolt if you were in better shape than him but i don't see you in the Olympics
Though if we're being technical, SOLDIER didn't infuse him, Hojo did. All members of SOLDIER were infused with mako, but Cloud was never in SOLDIER. He was infused as an experiment by Hojo
Even if you are fantasy strong, you are still subject to rules of leverage and momentum. Do you also have a power to stay in place when you swing the huge weapon? Do you have a power to prevent the ground under you from cracking or breaking when the forces you're applying are transferred through you? What are you doing where a huge weapon is better than using a magically-enhanced normally-proportioned one? How do you avoid your huge weapon getting caught on things in between fights?
See i like one of the stories i read. Apart from the daily traumatising life that is the grimdark storyscape, one of the characters started using a cloud sword to fight with. The main character just called it a beat stick, because nothing was cut, just bludgeoned. Even with superhuman strength and speed. And the one using it complained of these issues. You are basically tethered to the ground while using it otherwise no leverage.
Exactly. Your argument brings to mind the way Michelle Yeoh's character in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon fought with the brass and iron bar. She moved herself around more than she did the bar.
JohnnyLawlessEsq
Oh, Galway. I'm from Donegal meself...
martineb72
I can see why he doesn't call himself a blacksmith. A blacksmith would be able to turn iron bar stock and make those things through a lot of heat, but he does it through cutting and grinding. Still a great craft, but he respects true blacksmiths too much to call himself that.
TheoFromSteam
He's no blacksmith, he's leveled up to a weaponsmith speciality.
potatoispeople
As a big weirdo recently out of hiding, I love this message.
Iaimtomisbehave
"Bran Mak Morn!"
DaftTechno
His YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@michaelcthulhu
floridaguy5867
"Whatever you do, do it really hard".
psychologisttheologist
Oh good! I already make everything I do hard
zakisback
FUCK! IM ordering the sword helmut for work!!
UpvoteTotem
Whatever you do, do it really hard
DWolf
@michaelcthulhu , I'm in a place where I needed to hear the last six seconds of this. I hope your life is going well.
decomposingcomposers
While an incredible artist and metal worker, I didn't actually see any blacksmithing.
Dobster
isn't that addressed in the first two seconds of the video?
Death83
I recently made the Thunder Seal from Guilty Gear:Strive. Ky Kiske's signature blade.
TheFastpaws
He seems like a real positive dude. Man those are so heavy though I hope he's safe.
yeddinet
Army of weirdos…. Love it
nicky512
If anyone knows ANY of the videos games where those weapons are from…. You’re a nerd!!!! Also, let’s be friends.
somethingworthy
Mostly Warcraft, where are the rest from?
nicky512
No clue. I noticed the Warcraft ones, too. Curious about the others.
TheAlviss
He made a sweet nurgle plague sword. It looked great.
tentacularfleshscape
And gotrek's axe!
TheAlviss
Yeah!! That one was probably my favorite.
SoulN8
Hello I’d like to order one Gorehowl please.
PoorSucker
You're pretty tall for dwarf.
SSWJari
Obviously we need more blacksmiths doing weapons so we can return to a more civilized age.
kimjr
Marry me.
BoloGrubb
looks fun
SirShmango
Please tell me his name is pronounced "Craffwell"
JarJarDrinks
His shop is now in Martha's Vinyard.
iatezola
ooh, that's close. will have to check it out if i can save enough money to get on the ferry o_O
Dobster
no, he actually left there recently. He's now based in Illinois.
quietwalker
I always wanted a nice big hammer. I was sad when I found out real warhammers are tiny rock hammer size.
KnifeKnut
If you want a fun and surprisingly useful tool, get yourself a 12 lb sledgehammer head and put it on a 16 inch handle. The few times I've used it for smithing it functions as a drop hammer while gripping next to the Head rather than swinging it like a normal hammer. But for smashing things it is quite fun.
Seggs
iirc, that axe shown when hes like "the weapons i make are inherently funny" weighs something like 100lbs? (google says the darius axe (from LoL) is 106lbs). a landsknechte flamberge, partially known for being one of the biggest swords ever in "regular" usage weighs about 18lbs. for conan, arnold wanted a real sword, not some light weight prop. after trying it out, he requested they double the weight. thats the one in the movie. that weighed 9lbs
StunttheRunt
Love the helmet at the end.
ChaosScythe
He made that specifically for his kid, iirc the kid asked like hey can you make me a helmet to hit stuff with
Sonicschilidogs
Me too, it's hilarious, but I also feel like you would get a headache in 0.2 seconds
NoAsBigAsMediumJockButBiggerThanWeeJockJock
Its his son and if i remember right there was a reasonable amount of padding involved. Prob still headache inducing but at least they thought about it before.
AllMaktAtTengilVarBefriare
It's a kid, at least a good hour before the headache comes.
IFoldlyGo
That's how you can tell he is married to his hobby. If a blacksmith is not married to their job/hobby, all they make is bastard swords
reverendbonobo
EpsteinsWeenieHutJuniors
Well if he wasn't married to his hobby before he is now! (I'm sorry if you see this Mike)
occamsblazer
chetnixandflill
"Whatever you do, do it really hard"
kwyjiboner
His job class is "tinkerer"
AKallDay
I was told tinkerer was too close to the offensive Irish word tinker . There was an audible gasp when I used the word tinkerer.
errantcompass
Artificer, with specialization: oversized weapons
blamiesnotfree
I think fabricator would be good definition for what he does.
JarlmannViking
Durast. He molds metal.
Deathcameawienering
I'm a fabricator and I do the same shit just in more reasonable sizes
doesntmatter
A tinkerer is an actual kind of smith, who works tin and similar cold-smithing metals
AdrianDunne
Some Irish travellers actually made their living collecting and working with scrap metal. Tinker is now considered a derogatory term for Irish Traveller.
joshuasplinth
I thought this applied to traveling Roma and such.
AdrianDunne
Could be used for them too, but it was used for travellers when I was growing up and there wasn't really a Roma community here at the time.
kwyjiboner
I thought that "traveller" was a general Britishism for Roma.
MrSwissroll
For what it's worth, many blacksmiths did make giant swords, just not for combat. They were either to show of a noble/king's wealth, for ceremonial purposes, or to show off the blacksmith's skill. Nonetheless, they existed. There is also the German Zweihander sword, which was exceptionally large but still wieldy. Here are some historic examples of big-ass (not to be used in actual combat) swords:
KnifeKnut
Those I can understand, especially the giant Japanese ones (the differential hardening heat treat on such a long blade would be very difficult, for example), but were intended as such, rather than to be wielded, rather than the unwieldy fantasy weapons we see here.
beemarr
Would those have been blacksmiths though? Honest question, as I think I recall some specific legal stuff with the guilds that regulated what sorts of things a blacksmith could or could not work on, so there would be different types of smiths for different types of things. Hence blacksmiths, redsmiths, whitesmiths, swordsmiths, armorers, etc... However, I might be misremembering that, as the legal intricacies of medieval law are pretty messed up and complicated.
Radix865
I think it's more that Cthulhu doesn't really do much smithing, as in he doesn't heat up metal and hammer it into shape. In fact he generally avoids heating the metal too much since it's usually pre-treated. I think he called himself a metal crafter or was it worker rather than a blacksmith. I think it kinda goes into semantics but I guess the craftsmen might be proud to call themselves with the right terms.
MechaNinja
A lot of shit that looks too big is really quite thin and wieldy.
tankerofquetzals
It's just wielding it for the several hours of a battle that becomes a problem. A claymore only weighs 2.5kg, you could carry it all day without noticing, but swinging it for more than 15 minutes requires forearms like tree trunks (that's a lot of torque!). The biggest zweihanders are longer and twice the weight, no chance to use them for long... and those swords look bigger than zweihanders.
MechaNinja
I'm just saying a lot of those are probably not built like the ones in the video.
totallyNotRonJeremy
So, weebs aren't a new thing?
MrSwissroll
I thought 'weeb' referred to people obsessed with Japanese culture and iconography. With the exception of the literal-Japanese sword (Odachi Norimitsu), the others are all appropriately European in design, right?
totallyNotRonJeremy
also they like big and ornemental swords
ameranthe
I feel like the 1689 one is right up this guy's alley. It looks like a sawfish rostrum sword, but that's a really big sawfish.
niggawatt
I don't know about the others but the top middle sword was actually used by a frisian freedom fighter dubbed "grutte" (large) pier
MrSwissroll
I believe that's actually a modern day myth. Pier Gerlofs Donia or "Grutte Pier" is indeed documented as a large man (supposedly 7ft tall), but he was born in 1480 and began his rebellion in 1515. That sword is a bearing sword that dates back to 1400-1430, and all bearing swords were crafted without cutting edges due to their unwieldy size. While it's not impossible that he may have used a sword slightly larger than average, it is highly improbable that that sword was ever put into his hands.
Elkarlo77
I have seen Medieval Combat Sets: Armor + Great Sword, which were documented used by the same person. One in Goslar (Germany) and one in Warsaw (Poland). While the Sword were intimitating, and larger then myself, with 6.4" the Armorsuite on the podest was still smaller then me. This Swords were used to breach the formation, to breach the Shield walls: A heavy armored Knight storm forward and let the sword fall into the enemy formation, withdraws behind his formation, ready the sword again.
MrSwissroll
I see, that sounds like a fascinating find! Based on your description, those were perhaps Zweihänders - German great swords that could be up to 84 inches in length! Something I left out about the Bearing Sword is that the blade thickness was constant throughout, adding a lot of heft, and the hilts were too oversized for human hands. Zweihänders have thinner blades, a normal sized hilt, and a distal taper, which drops the weight down to proper, despite the length.
jimjong1
derrymerbles
I’m very impressed with your in depth knowledge of history sir!
KnifeKnut
As much as I hate oversized fantasy weapons, perhaps this will show people that oversized fantasy weapons are very unrealistic.
Picoshi
Yes. Luckily magic, dragons flying ships and all the other stuff are very realistic. Would really break the immersion of fantasy if everything was unrealistic.
KnifeKnut
Since you didn't know, different people have different thresholds for suspension of disbelief.
FluffykinsTheDestroyer
Who cares what's unrealistic when it looks cool? Fantasy can be whatever you make of it my dude, from gritty and realistic, to over the top and fun. There's something for everyone.
AllMaktAtTengilVarBefriare
The unrealistic size of weapons is the sole reason I don't buy or play Monster Hunter games. The design ruins it for me.
LadyCorwin
We already know they are. It ain't some big brain to be aware that these weapons don't make sense in the real world. They aren't actually used for fighting in the real world and fortunately for us, the laws of fantasy don't have to always match up. Fantasy would be much less diverse if it wasn't allowed to differ from the real world...might be called...history.
Humptydumptyhadabigdong
What did you order?
GorillaStark
Not if you are unrealistically strong
Radix865
You'd also have to be unrealistically heavy and durable, otherwise the weapon will wield you or just rip off your limbs.
UsernamesAreStupidAnyways
Erm... Magic.
PassiveCommenter
Dudes built like a brick house, he makes wielding unwieldy weapons look reasonable and sometimes easy.
urboyevan2
Yeah they always seem tacky to me, my brain is unable to see it as anything but absurd but I can understand people having different interests and enjoying the huge weapon look. Live and let live! Still love you all! Still think large with cool detail and semi looking functionality but not absurdly large would be even cooler. I wish I could blacksmith.
KnifeKnut
Iirc God of war or whatever the game is called where kratos kills gods is an example of realistically sized weapons (at least compared to his size). Another is the fantasy knives with black wrapped handles and a Black blade finish and sold as a pair, the Riddick's claw blades as seen in Chronicles of Riddick. Before the movie it was just a regular fantasy knife with the usual multicolor wood handles. https://www.amazon.com/Claws-Riddick-Dagger-Knife-Chronicles/dp/B0009X2CSQ
Yenaldooshi
That's why I love monster hunter. The big weapons actually have moves that look like they take a lot of effort.
Hrafna55
Indeed. It is very educational seeing Michael use the 'weapons' at the end of the build. Mostly it is only possible to lift the thing directly up and then half bring it down half let it fall onto the target. Very occasionally a lighter one might be able to be used with a sideways swing but as expected that ends up dragging him round in a half circle.
MrShpoople
I mean, that's because they're fantasy. It's in the name... FANTASY weapons. If I were marching off to battle, I would ask for a realistic weapon...
samusfairchild
Came here with this exact thought. It's... Literally in the name, lol.
syoebiusprime
So..they are... fantasy? What's to hate my dude? Oversized fantasy weapons understand the assignment: be fantastic.
KnifeKnut
They don't have to be oversized in order to be fantasy, and being oversized is just lazy in coming up with them.
jimjong1
If the weapons are too unrealistic for you I don't think you're gonna like the magic...
MrSwissroll
Realism isn't really a prioritized goal of, erm, FICTION?
astrangehop
Sometimes it is
LucidPariah
It doesn't matter how unrealistic they are. If someone effortlessly holding a sword that big came running at you in real life you would instantly shit yourself!
KnifeKnut
No, I would outrun them, at least if I were in better shape. Certainly would be able to dodge their blows in a close-in environment like woods or indoors.
jimjong1
Lmao, I guarantee tou wouldn't be able to dodge shit. Your argument of "if I were in better shape" can apply to almost anything, you could outrun Usane Bolt if you were in better shape than him but i don't see you in the Olympics
KnifeKnut
It's easy to dodge weapon if there isn't room to swing it
theskepticinme
Unless you are fantasy strong
yesiamclutz
Strength isn't enough - you need mass too
feanoreldar
I am massive
Zap117
If Physics still apply swing something like that will swing you also. Or perhaps just rip your arms out of their sockets, like a pissed of wookie
MikeRInternetTraveler
That’s why you have fantasy strong tendons and ligaments. Duh.
monikir
Physics and Fantasy don't mix, that's how you end up with a peasant railgun
KnifeKnut
If I remember correctly, cloud was definitely not built for that size of sword
gummyloaf
Cloud was literally full of planet juice, his himbo boyfriends dna that was from space mom, and insane
Rediix
You do not remember correctly, he is a supersoldier
Ialwayslookhungover
Yeah, that's why SOLDIER infused him with Mako. Made him strong for his size.
WienerFart
Yup, all three people who wielded the buster sword were mako infused. They were all much stronger than normal people of the same size
WienerFart
Though if we're being technical, SOLDIER didn't infuse him, Hojo did. All members of SOLDIER were infused with mako, but Cloud was never in SOLDIER. He was infused as an experiment by Hojo
VanillaJester
Even if you are fantasy strong, you are still subject to rules of leverage and momentum. Do you also have a power to stay in place when you swing the huge weapon? Do you have a power to prevent the ground under you from cracking or breaking when the forces you're applying are transferred through you? What are you doing where a huge weapon is better than using a magically-enhanced normally-proportioned one? How do you avoid your huge weapon getting caught on things in between fights?
Tyaldan
See i like one of the stories i read. Apart from the daily traumatising life that is the grimdark storyscape, one of the characters started using a cloud sword to fight with. The main character just called it a beat stick, because nothing was cut, just bludgeoned. Even with superhuman strength and speed. And the one using it complained of these issues. You are basically tethered to the ground while using it otherwise no leverage.
KnifeKnut
Exactly. Your argument brings to mind the way Michelle Yeoh's character in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon fought with the brass and iron bar. She moved herself around more than she did the bar.
thekadeshi
yes the movie where they fly by gently touching bamboo with a cloth slipper
KnifeKnut
Wire work is a very different thing from armed Eastern martial arts.