TheNameIWantedWasntAvailable
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A coworker forwarded this to me, and it was instantly captivating and creepy af. So the obvious thing to do was share it to imgur.
Source: https://twitter.com/moby_dickhead
FP Edit: Thanks guys! Also, to be clear, I'm not the above Twitterer. I found this user through a coworker. There are no Davids haunting me. Probably.
NutToButt
In some mythology cats are the gatekeepers, escorts in the afterlife, and keep evil spirits at bay. Your cats are guarding your doorway.
vindik8or
What a fucken scrub, how hard is "Dear David, what are this week's lotto numbers?" "Dear David, how can I achieve world peace?"
youknowthatonepersonwiththeface
"Dear David, can you please fuck off so I can get some sleep?"
gentheripper
Reading this alone at 1 am, so fun
ItsaSpriggs
I ended on the Twitter feed. The OP said later that the cats have not presented that behavior before. I'm totally following that thread.
ispentwaytoolongthinkingaboutthis
I feel bad for ghosts...the things they must have saw me do in private.
isthatgoodicanttell
as someone who deals with stuff like this, step one is 100% convincing yourself its in your head.
perseco
Plot twist: The cats are the real ghosts and David is just the hallucination attracting the ghost cats' attention.
DockingHolliday
That kid looks like scoop dunbarton. http://static.tvmaze.com/uploads/images/medium_portrait/116/291132.jpg
iLynux
F is for Family??
DockingHolliday
Yuuuuup!
Dragen88
Wow, i didnt want to sleep tonight anyways
DoctorSnakebeast
All the questions you could ask a dead person and you ask them how they died. You can't make them stop being dead, idiot! Ask something else
ThatTransformersDude
"Hey Dave, if you could find out the new winning lottery numbers for me, that'd be great."
Retromorphic
This shit happened to me. Little girl standing next to my bed near me face during sleep paralysis. Adrenaline kicked in and I hit thin air.
Mixelphlick
That's a side effect of sleep paralysis. Most people claim to experience a presence often malevolent. Not a ghost just brain chemistry.
Retromorphic
Yeah ok whatever science
frosty147
I've only ever seen "The Man" once, and it was the same night I had done whippets.
UsernameCanComeLater
So I enjoy scary internet story creepypasta shit, but is anyone else really irritated by the people that always come out like...
UsernameCanComeLater
"Sprinkle salt around, burn sage, say this incantation."? Like everyone else is just playing along like normal people, stop pretending...
UsernameCanComeLater
to be an expert on things that don't exist.
RustyNeX
sometimes i wish scary shit was real just to introduce some excitement into my life.
DrMichaelMcQueeferton
This is why I watch horror movies in my basement at night. Yup.
ThatTransformersDude
We see what we want to see. Remember that and let me know how it goes from there.
RustyNeX
Im a man of science, if i cant measure it with something then i know im just tripping
ThatTransformersDude
Me too but some weird shit has happened to me in the past and well, rather safe than sorry now.
iLynux
You can scare yourself pretty easily, if you just try it. Try it at night.
RustyNeX
I can scare myself easy enough i just look at my bank balance
iLynux
HAhahahahaha... aw that's sad.
SoldMyName
Well, I hope his cats are wrong because I really like this guy's instagram @adamtots
PeculiarPeanutButter
What a coincidence that he's verified on Twitter. He's definitely not trying to increase his social media popularity.
LadyBaconTits
He doesn't need to increase his popularity. He has a ton of followers, his comics are on the front page all the time.
wholm
he's an extremely popular cartoonists, a lot of his stuff has been featured here on Imgur. Look up his stuff, it's pretty funny.
TerritorialRotbart
He's publishing a book in the near future, too... hm...
ILikeQuiteHeavyMetal
Sleep paralysis is poos. I can never sleep well after I have an episode
HaniiPuppy
"And that's how I found out a homeless guy lived in our closie."
myr14d
What I learned from this: Cat Ladies aren't crazy, they're just assembling an army against the ghosts that are stalking them.
1skin2skin3skinForeskin
Probably a botchling
gamblingpoet
When a creepy dream kid in a library tells you NOT to ask the ghosts 3 questions, YOU DON'T ASK THE GODDAMN GHOST 3 QUESTIONS.
GuardsmanMiku
also how where there no follow up questions? What if i ask on separate nights? Who the fuck are you? How do you know all this?
mjdredd
Yeah, lawyer your way out of the curse.
bethsjerry
Jesus, a fly landed on my shoulder as I was reading this and I almost lost my shit.
Dragondraikk
It's a good thing you didn't because no one wants to find a lost shit in the middle of the night
princessnowflake
bethsjerry
Basically.
ushigana
S'ok. I often have near heart attacks when tufts of my cat's hair flies across the floor from the fan. Have also killed many strands of hair
ThatTransformersDude
etherbunny41
Did you check and see if it's still where you left it?
Canofminus
I was playing with my movie stub and accidentally flicked it at my friend during the scarab scene during 'The Mummy.' He shit himself.
Darkspire
That isn't even a scary movie!
Canofminus
LOL right, but something that feels like a insect hitting your neck in the dark while looking at bugs on the screen is gonna make you jump
ironmansdildo
I was watching sinister my friend and during the scene where the cloth flew and covers the ghost, i brushed my leg on his accidentally. 1/
ironmansdildo
He flipped his shit and tried to run out of the cinema hall. We still talked about it till today.
TinyOctopus
Tiny Octopus gets sleep paralysis on occasion. It always feels like someone is in there watching him and as long as he doesn't acknowledge
TinyOctopus
that they are there, everythingn is cool. But the second he looks at them or lets them know he knows they are there, he's fucked.
Lumage
It's okay tiny octopus ghosts can't swim.
TheNameIWantedWasntAvailable
Eep.
ObliqueRay
"Dear David what's the winning lottery number?" If you actually get it then it may be real. Otherwise enjoy your subconscious's nonsense.
surgicalarts
"I don't know. You have one question left"
shiftingillusion
Why would a ghost know things about the future like that though? That doesn't make any more sense.
ObliqueRay
The point is getting an answer to something you couldn't possibly know that can be corroborated. Otherwise it's just in your head.
DrSparken
Why would a real ghost know, though? Ghosts are not typically omniscient.
DrSparken
In stories, that is.
doshninja
Wonder if the cats are just missing the old apartment so they stay by the door? Just a thought
ByDownvotingMeYoureAgreeingThatYoureWrong
I'll beat up a ghost baby. Hell I'll beat up a regular baby I don't give a fuck
UpvoteVillain
The hero we need.
UsernameTBA
Take your up vote you BAMF
DapprBadgr
@MrSplodey see I'm not the only one
Popstarkiller33
But if you do, you just may make more Davids.
Crablegz
sunhoney
Babybeaters
serpentinebaboo
The first time I watched The Grudge, the only thing I could think the whole time was, "I could beat the shit out of that cat kid."
CCBabyPuncher
I'll kick a ghost baby's ass, hell I'll kick a regular baby's ass, hell I'll kick my own ass, I don't give a fuck
yourmamajumpsforjoy
chrisdafish
"I've never hit a child but I'm not afraid to start now"
newsguycraigevans
After a day like today this is my general attitude
LadiesInboxMeYourInsecurities
I mean is it illegal if it's already dead? I say no. Beat that baby.
pilomotor
Well, desecration of a corpse is a crime, but that probably doesn't extend to ghosts.
PlebKingDavey
Sigh. If only paranormal stuff was real.
soepie7
rayeofsunshine
In one house we had a ghost who turned stuff on all the time, unbolted doors. Next house, no one used the back stair case after dark. 1/2
rayeofsunshine
Dogs included. None of the neighbours would talk about it, just said it was a death there. Another house where a ghost banged doors, 2/3
rayeofsunshine
shook daughter's mattress up, ran up & down stairs. That was terrifying. Plenty of paranormal stuff and most of it isn't nice at all.
ValiantlyFlailing
right when I get a ghost bj then I'll start believing
vitobet
Woo-woo!
AntiMonsterPaladin
dude. imagine it! You're just laying in bed and all of a sudden BAM ectoplasm everywhere
PaleChixAreMyFetish
That sounds more like a ghost group bukkake than a ghost bj.
Radix865
dude. imagine it! You're just laying in bed and all of a sudden BAM ectoplasm right in your mouth!
Skepticoolthree
It totally is lol . Start your own investigations and sure enough you'll experience things you can't explain .
GuardsmanMiku
hit me up when something comes up in a peer reviewed scientific paper
Skepticoolthree
Enjoy your poisens while you wait .
GuardsmanMiku
poisens?
Skepticoolthree
Poisons*
thepunchline710
Just because I can't explain it doesn't mean it is paranormal. I can't explain how nuclear bombs are built, did a ghost do that too?
GuardsmanMiku
on another note, nuclear bombs are actually reasonably straightforward. The hard part is just getting the uranium without being arrested
WontSomeonePleaseThinkOfTheChildren
You also believe in leprechauns?
tornadosandwich
I know from talking to him he's actually a flat earther
SkippedOver
(Warning: Long) Adding onto CommunistPenguin and others. The thing is we have scientific papers and accompanying experimentation on 1/?
SkippedOver
reproducing these things to prove ghosts aren't real compared to dudes running around with expensive recording equipment in abandoned 2/?
SkippedOver
buildings getting grainy footage of dust clouds. Some recent experiments/papers: 3/?
SkippedOver
http://users.iafrica.com/s/sa/salbu/apollo/HumA2.html and">html">http://users.iafrica.com/s/sa/salbu/apollo/HumA2.html and http://www.richardwiseman.com/resources/Something-in-the-Cellar.pdf 4/?
LeadByBadExample
There are many phenomena I can't explain, but that doesn't mean others can't. I'm pretty stupid, and so are you if you believe in ghosts.
PlebKingDavey
I like this.
LeadByBadExample
I like you.
majinrat
he is fine didnt even use dear david on third question
cuzitsthere
Isn't he a comedian? That dude draws comics for a living....
AnApologeticCanadian
Oh shit nice catch.
dipderp
Lawyer that shit
Xander4204
Exactly what I thought
NeverGetsTheNuke
Me too. The Girl just said he only answers if you say it first, though. She just said it's three questions for death.. rules are fuzzy...
imnotcreative12
It's like creepy Simon Says.
FuturePerfectTense
th1sguysdeadwife
what movie is this from again
IPutLinesOnPaper
Ravenous, movie about cannibals
Eldis
.
TooLazyToDoSomethingElse
There is nothing creepy about this. Those who suffer from sleep paralysis often hallucinate or feel scared.
TheseArentMyGlasses
Thank you.
ChewyChewbacca88
So no one else in my family has sleep paralysis but me and my cats stare at the stairs outside my bedroom ALL the damn time. There's a ghost
avalani
I have it all the time, hallucinations included. Most of the time I know I'm hallucinating and it's not scary. That one time though... Fuck.
Toasterpops
I still remember the dream I had when half lucid over 20 years ago. Shit fucks you up.
DavidBadore
I'm David, can confirm it's not a hallucination
TimurKl
ITS 2 AM IM IN FOREST IM SCARED STILL. BUSHES AND WOOOOOS FUCK
5thVecino
I for one welcome sleep paralysis. As a lover of scares, it is the biggest adrenaline rush I've experienced. I actually look forward to them
IamAMON
True, but what about the cats? I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation, but still. Creepy shit does happen.
QuiteADapperAsshole
He's focused on the door so they probably pick up on that and wonder what's up. Shit, he's taking pics through the peep hole.
ButtMagnet
It's probably because the cats have been made to move where they live and they want out. Looks like they're kept in there
EmanNiemThcin
The most simple explanation is that the guy is a liar. A clock in a picture isn't proof of anything.
HermanManly
Have you ever owned cats? This is about as normal cat behaviour as it can get
Beepity
Cats gonna cat
efemral
They probably do it a lot while he sleeps, but he only looks at midnight.
HuevosConCarnage
Yep, can confirm. I have had some experiences I can't explain, though. Not saying they were real.
ThatTransformersDude
Same here. It just trips you out and even if they weren't real I can't explain them.
LeadByBadExample
Could be there are mice outside his door or something else like that. Or they can smell the neighbour's feet. Ghosts aren't real.
YakitateEmily
Some dad in the apartment building makes lightly fried fish fillets promptly at 12.
chloramphenicolderivative
The cats read the first tweets and started doing it to mess him up.
AllWizard
They probably like the draft from under the door
stupendiferous
The cats may be picking up on the fear of the dude and reacting to that. They figure he's scared so they should be as well.
tytrim89
My dogs do the same thing with my wife. They feed of her emotions.
TooLazyToDoSomethingElse
There is no rhyme or reason to what cats do. It might be because he lives in an apt building and someone got off work and is going home.
TooLazyToDoSomethingElse
Because its roughly the same time each night that would make the most sense because people tend to have a schedule
natangold
Yeah, I am thinking it's probably a sprinkler system or some such, at a frequency we can't hear, but they can.
twohearteddoctor
Could be an pld clock in a distant apt that is doing the classic donging at 12
AnatoliSmorin
Cats do just randomly stare at things, mine spends about 2 hours every day staring at the shed roof, it's probably just mice or rats.
Nonoflower
Or a demon
ThatTransformersDude
Ghost demon
Whatisthesecretofsoylentgreen
Ghost rats
AccioBatarang
I suffer from sleep paralysis that only happens when I am extremely anxious or stressed. With the shit you can experience, it sure as hell
TerritorialRotbart
I get sleep paralysis, but I never see anything. Maybe because I sleep on my stomach so I can't see anything anyway.
zippydee
I've only had it once that I remember, and I was talking to aliens and they said they were guna watch over me. I believed it for a long time
AccioBatarang
Heightens any paranoia you have. You're afraid to sleep which just makes everything worst. You're already anxious. It can be a downward
AccioBatarang
Spiral. Even my GP (A FUCKING DOCTOR) told me to be spiritually cleansed. I started smoking weed instead. I never have them anymore.
Nuanra
But, like, the smoke cleanses you man. Especially if you have one of these sick quartz crystal pipes. Spiritual bruh.
AccioBatarang
MY EYES HAVE BEEN OPENED I've been cleansing myself this whole time! It all makes sense! Thanks, duuude!