OceansRust
35890
893
9
Jan 27, 2026 10:37 PM
OceansRust
35890
893
9
EroticZombiePants
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zyzzyx_Road
CampCaos
The print on that dress is from what trump wrote in Epsteins birthday book.
jamesbondq
The movie is made by Brett Ratner, who was a big time director of the Rush Hour movies and many others. He was outed from Hollywood due to numerous sexual assault allegations.
UnreasonablyImprudentPerson
The trailer gave me written and directed by Tommy Wiseau vibes
joshuasplinth
She’s not really wearing a dress with the print of the card on it, is she?
albakSPrince
There's other "films" she's done that would sell more tickets. Is Pornhub still a thing?
Rapbot20
We all know that movie is how they're laundering money....right?
stryhf
MyCommentsUsuallyHaveTypos
That's dark
Firestar002
Omg please tell me that’s photoshopped. The drawing on her shirt.
Wafflesaur
Pour one out for all those poor poor projectionists.
plortho
Oh they don't actually have to sit there and watch it. The editor[s?] were surely undercompensated though. They deserved hazard pay
HuskyPirate
The... The what now?
popeyeNL
I don't look down on escorts. I have met some and most of them were intelligent women with excellent social skills.
SploogeMcDuck316
This is Jeff bezos's bribe to trump by the way.
Becker37
What kind of fucked up shelter lives do they live to think anyone wants to see that?
creepyguyheygurl
What's up with that dress? Is that supposed to be a glass of whiskey or similar at her crotch? Of course the similarities with those Epstein drawings of a naked woman are uncanny. Honestly probably on purpose, as recommended by some PR firm.
Xenarion
Yeah, that's exactly what it is. It's the drawing Trump sent to Epstein (which he denied doing)
creepyguyheygurl
Oh you're right, it's photoshopped on. Jesus, I need to get off the internet, my brain is rotting.
HuruinaInu
Why is she wearing the game board for Operation?
thechelonianshelmet
It's the Pedogents birthday letter to his victim supplier: https://www.wsj.com/us-news/law/epstein-birthday-book-congress-9d79ab34
HuruinaInu
Thank you, I did not recognize that... that's brilliant, whoever did this is damn good
4bRigger
I didnt even notice.
lezgetfukkinreal
Yeah I came here looking to see if she actually wore this or if it's photoshopped or ai
AZJackeen
Next year Trump will be claiming the Oscar's are rigged and have been taken over by liberal lefty communist socialist fascist vegan trans child molesting dog eaters because Melania didn't get nominated.
Tjitso
There's a melania movie?
OceansRust
I heard it's going straight to VCR.
Jaqdakloun
...I'm sorry, the fucking what movie???
Alozar
There is a "documentary" on Melania coming out in a few days in theaters
notsurewhattocallthis
How brave of her. [Joke on your phrasing of "coming out] but fuck that whore and her husmand with a rusty spade.
jesuisgur
Wasn't she in some pornhub "documentaries" a couple decades ago ?
Schlumpfi
Honest question: who’s the target audience? Because nobody likes here, not even many republicans, as far as i know (at least that’s what they often post). Is this just another favor for trump? Considering that most of modern movies make their money internationally (the US is 4% of the world’s population) their target audience must be way under 0,5%, if i‘m being generous. Or is there something I overlooked?
Greyeyes1973
Probably insurance scam. Take out insurance on the film and when it tanks make a big profit. Or a tax write off. Money laundering under the table bribes, sorry, "donations"
jesuisgur
What insurance would accept to underwrite that ? Just the title is a giveaway to certain failure.
BennyGaga
Any insurance company that would like to heavily influence legislation.
jesuisgur
You got a point... I don't think like that.
Hexrowe
A special Alan Smithee production.
DarkSock
Melania stunt double?
Jenny Talia-Indiwend
bladderinfection
Starring: Reigh Dacted
Bigemedic
https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1Z2huYzNlbHduN3V5NzBtbzR4dDczZXN4cmx1MG53cjFmczJ1MzFzbCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/ScC3YMC2oxLul66zKG/200w.webp
copperdomebodhi
Friend said it was the in-flight movie on his trip to DC. Said half the audience walked out.
OceansRust
I really believe this joke will get a lot of frequent flyer smiles.
torp
I really don't care do ya ?
Meowsma
About how well the movie performs? No.
About how its genesis is open corruption? Yes.
torp
It was a reference to a coat Melania wore a few years ago.
Meowsma
Ah, crap. Yeah, I forgot about that one and missed the joke entirely.
torp
:-) no pb
HamDangler7TheLuckOfTheDangle
What it's like to even view the opening
v
Kenbamazingbutprobablywontbe
I saw it was gonna be in theaters too. Brave. Gonna be sad when morbius destroys her in theaters
FaeVikingPrincess
We demand morbius come back to the theaters for a third time!
brandsilven
Sony Pictures has the opportunity to do the funniest thing of the last few years. All it takes is a 3rd theater release.
Kenbamazingbutprobablywontbe
Omg that would be hilarious 😂
RacecarIsRacecarBackwards
I just saw an ad for it here in Germany today. Can't imagine why anyone would want to watch this.
sofako41404
They'll probably buy up all the tickets themselves, like when a republican releases a book.
Kenbamazingbutprobablywontbe
Yes.... and that stuff generally comes to light pretty fast. Theyre gonna need to buy a lot of tickets if they dont want her to cry.
animatronicChristmasChickens
It's Melaning time!
WhoIsFlabbergasted
Careful there! A typo could make that joke dark-skinned and get it shot!
Kenbamazingbutprobablywontbe
Apparently without the typo they're still shooting!
RyanSilver612
If morbius released in theatre's right now I would spend the money to go and watch it just to fuck with trump and his whore
cgt9803
So how did you two meet?
"He rich so we make fuck."
ToSisPoS
“Colonel ordered me to. Asset needed daily monitoring since first stroke.”
Probablyimaginary
"I draw short straw, Nadia and Svetlana tease me"
RigidGristle
rshini
"Enigmatic" is another word for "We can't figure her out"
SecondSince
Ew
ItsACrazyWorld
If anyone is going to have the title of American Queen its Dolly Parton.
ToSisPoS
Or Nathan Lane
BeachsideBarghest
https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1bDlidTFrYjBoYjV1dmRyeno3M21wbDB1dW1hdzhodzMybGFlcXMxeCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/FHsud3VVwaLgk/200w.webp
justaguyinthebackrow
No Kings, No Queens
TheN8
"Nae king! Nae quin! Nae laird! Nae master! We willna' be fooled again!" But even the Navy Mac Feegle would accept Dolly as their Big Hag.
foxnfloof
I hope no one forgets that Jeff Bezos spent $40 million on this 'documentary'. $40 million is going to buy Jeff Bezos a big favor.
plortho
Pissing away another $35M on marketing, apparently. I don't either will buy him shit, though. (flop of a vanity project, too)
backrideup9
100% chance that $75M was some taxpayer funded tax cut so what does he care.
foxnfloof
Trump is a transactional animal- he owes Bezos now. Who knows what Bezos will need be he's bought a favor to call in.
datphone777365
Lol if he gets his favor back
ToSisPoS
But hey, let’s post some more free advertising for Fallout and the Boys and Invincible!
zeacorzeppelin10
He was saying how tickets are going fast and proceeded to be spammed with pictures of movie theaters with not a single seat sold.
jesuisgur
MyCommentsUsuallyHaveTypos
You got a source for any of these?
OceansRust
Hey I saw they sold "One" in London.
zeacorzeppelin10
Formerly Prince Andrew got nothing better to do.
2Ghoul4School
The asshole formerly known as prince.
BHPaperstacks
Hahahaha
zeacorzeppelin10
Its Imelda Marcos but so much more pathetic and dumber. It is a movie made by a sex offender for sex offenders. It bears on being seen as a crime against humanity.
BHPaperstacks
Bruh you're making me kinda wanna watch it to see how bad it actually is so stop because I'm too lazy to pirate it and Im not giving those fucking pieces of dog shit money.
foxnfloof
Cope snd seethe Yam tits
zeacorzeppelin10
foxnfloof
Do you really need this explained?
zeacorzeppelin10
With how Melania speaks and carries herself, I read it like Melania was having a stroke trying to say "come and see mah tits" and thank you for getting that off your chest.
insaaanity
The only reason I'd ever buy a ticket, to make a picture mocking her for the empty theatre.
Even then, I think I'd rather just try to bribe a theatre worker to give me access for a minute, so as to not give them the revenue.
GIMike1972
Stay golden pony-boy!!
https://media4.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1eDkxZDdlY25pdDdmdG1mcHlhenJ6dWRibXBrNXIyMmVkbTd4dWZ2cCZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/ftdF4ZkueWGHBYc4b5/200w.webp
iamthemurray
Dunno about you're area but our theatres have such a lack of staff you can just walk in and out with zero issues and the ones who do still work there do not care. As long as you don't cause problems youre basically invisible
FaeVikingPrincess
Just buy a ticket to something else and sneak a pic of the empty theater for the stupid melania movie
MyCommentsUsuallyHaveTypos
Stranger Things it.
Pilgrymm
Become shared-trauma buds with someone who has a job at the mall and then use them to get into the theatre through the employee entrance?
MyCommentsUsuallyHaveTypos
Sneak into the movie theater using staff hallways.