DeadAssassin
115187
6243
107
Mar 8, 2016 4:20 AM
DeadAssassin
115187
6243
107
SirFishPudding
At first glance, #5 just looks like someone really struggling to open a bottle.
JimmySmits
Can one of you guys bang my sister so I can get started on this stuff?
humanfreakinggarbage
Cool Uncle Trick: Lazy Edition, we're having ice cream for lunch then setting off fireworks before we play video games in a pillow fort.
TheWorkerofSecrets
I know I'll never be a dad so the least I can be is a kickass uncle!
CrimsonChin05
My favorite way to open a beer bottle without an opener is with my seatbelt.
DuckMuffinPerson
Now only if i lived in an area where being able to do these things made you a gooden uncle!
arbsbuhpuh
No fucking way you can open a non-twist-off bottle with a rubber band like that...
duojet
If only Joker had known the second to last one :( ... and not had a massive gargoyle attached to his ankle :( ... and have been evil :( ...
NeckPlant
My nieces brains=blown with this trick. https://youtu.be/POhgyTOxb_4
pitbullboxershorts
I want a try a J turn so bad. Anyone want to lend me a vintage muscle car?
uitSCHOT
I know way more ways to open a beer than just those 9...
GiseleBossard77
2nd - 3rd gear will make the engine struggle.
Nikolai5
Now do a jturn in a manual you peasants.
GrumpyCosplay
Reverse, dump clutch, yank the wheel, clutch in, second gear, dump clutch and go!
civicrocker
Wow! Didn't realize I was an uncle!!
phunkyeah
shuffling cards, coolest uncle trick
DeadAssassin
The Art of Manliness didn't have and diagrams of magic tricks (that I could find.) But every uncle should know a few simple ones!
Meowseph
Favorited for when I'm an uncle lol
HAHA5555
what if all your nieces and nephews are stupid ...
DeadAssassin
I'm so sorry for your losses :(
drivestoyotadefinesflex
Just found out I'm going to be an Uncle in 6 months. This should come in handy
TDRM
As a dane, that's the hardest ways to use those tools for beers !
DaddysHome
as a norwegian, i agree. i've used most of these techniques, but not like this, this just seems hard, rather
TDRM
Yeh, you just use the same grib for everything, or even beers to open beers.
DaddysHome
church
MommysBaby
And to think I've been eating dusty floor rolls all this time.
Terran538
Favoriting so I can bug my neice later in life.
iatha
Are you me?
rikm
I think they like it more when I share the beer with them...
DeadAssassin
Yeah but you gotta look badass opening the bottle.
AlphaF05
To bad I'm an only child
DeadAssassin
How to Godfather Good?
KirschPunkt
My uncle never showed me anything like this. And I will never be an uncle since I haven't got any brothers or sisters. Sadly...
SillyGirly
You could marry someone who has ..
KirschPunkt
Oh... right. Forgive me, sometimes I'm really dumb. Today is one of those times.
NeckPlant
.....lol
tallishfemale
Now I can be the cool uncle I've always dreamed I could be!
ThereIsOnlyXul
....in the 80's.
eleventysix116
I believe in you, @tallishfemale!
margaretolson
We support your life choices, Aunt Sally
helpnonamesareleft
I just became an aunt today, am I allowed to use these?
BartimaeusTheFat
No.
helpnonamesareleft
Too late!
BartimaeusTheFat
Gorram it.
HiImTilted
How tall we taking here
tallishfemale
5'11!
HiImTilted
Damn
UncleTouchyCopaFeel
Uncles are fun!
BuSpocky
Until you take a trip to Uncle touchy's naked puzzle basement where you don't wear a shirt and you cry
UncleTouchyCopaFeel
Naked basement is best basement.
MouseDenton
For the J-turn, don't you have to let the engine spin down before throwing it into drive? Or is that just with manuals?
mrclark250
manuals are actually much more tolerant of this kind of thing. a good manual will take mediocre clutch dumps end on end but an auto will not
onefaller
It's a little hard on the transmission, but they'll take it
GrumpyCosplay
In a manual, you throw it into second NOT first, the gear ratios matches the revs.
xeonreallyglows
Practise in an empty parking lot at night first
jammyjamzz
With an insured rental car
Tacotuesdayeveryday
This seems like a bad idea as much as I want to try it. My car is manual and a little tall so I'd imagine I'd roll. Am I wrong? Suzuki sx4.
mrclark250
it's best done with a vehicle that isn't top heavy for reasons that should be obvious. do not attempt.
mzxrules
as per the infographic, you should be driving this car specifically: http://pics.imcdb.org/0is535/s2e03030.3435.jpg
JoshCanJump
There is no way that rubber band is opening that bottle.
morch
My thoughts exactly
ABigRedBall
Once you get the lighter down you'll never need another method imo.
heythereitsjoe
I think once the rubber band covers the pointy parts, you're supposed to twist it off. Rubber band won't do it alone.
GandalfTheUltraViolet
If it's a twist-off, you don't need a rubber band. You just need hands.
dpidcoe
It's acting as grip tape for you to pull the cap off with your hands. Poorly explained in the picture.
DraggingDatAsh
You can always use a seatbelt buckle >->
TheWalkingTaco
Wisconsin life hack!
Ihrtbeer
Go pack!
someprickinvietnam
It's so true.
kilocharliedelta
Also..the key will break ..poor form here.
BigHairySandwich
Much easier to just turn the key around and do like with the lighter one... Same with the knife. Why would you even do it like that?!? WHY!?
idontknowwhybutihaveahugefetishforredheads
Because you wanna that somebody's uncle who killed him accidently with a butter knife
BigHairySandwich
How would that kill you though?
LocksOutOnMonoPockets
Key works for me, sport.
kilocharliedelta
Glad to hear it Ochap.
LocksOutOnMonoPockets
Thanks champ -- btw what's kcd?
kilocharliedelta
Initials
JennaTools
If you don't know how to skip a rock... Wtf have you been doing with your life???
mrfirebass
I dont know how to tie shoelaces or ride a bike ...so i have -2 lives apoarently
savageof
...imgur
TheJonatron
Not living next to water.
Rayz901
apparently not rock skipping
ThisIsGod
Drinking and slowly sliding into the dark abyss of depression
darnyoulikeasock
Living in a city with no nearby water sources?
idontknowwhybutihaveahugefetishforredheads
Man you must be thirtsy
Rial
There is surprisingly little rock skipping in the big city.
Nuss69er
Definitely living under a rock instead of skipping them.
guilhermedidi
not living next to lakes and stuff?
whoanesto
I could throw a perfect spiral at age 8, and still can't skip a rock. I grew up next to a freaking lake too!
TrashvilleSuperstar
My best
originalusernamethatmakesyoulaugh
Looking at imgur
Crypticsound
Many know how to throw a rock but not many can rock skip well
TheRicM
Skipping rock skipping class?
SAMnotsoWISE
I skip school
BrontTheGoodBoy
How many times does it usually bounce?
idontknowwhybutihaveahugefetishforredheads
Like 73
TheresAGermanWordForThat
I'm a Dungeon Master.
TheJonatron
Can I apply proficiency in simple weapons to my dex check?
TheresAGermanWordForThat
If you want to, we can switch to Rolemaster, I'm sure it has a "Skipped Rocks" table. Or I can get my slide rule and we'll switch to GURPS.
TheJonatron
Sorry, I'm a casuul 5e newbie. I've heard of those things. Even slide rules!