cookedmemes
138728
3592
83
Mar 3, 2021 9:17 AM
cookedmemes
138728
3592
83
TheDudeOrHisDudeness
Someone falls for that?
TheRatWhistler
Hematine is the synthetic compound used in rings, hematite is the actual compound found in nature, the first is a scam
Usernamenotfoundmadeyoulook
Had one of these as a wedding band. Cracked after 6 months. Fortunately, these only cost about a buck. Good alternative to silicone too.
Darkl0re
lol promise its not you! hematite is extremely fragile one good tap and it will break. This stone has no business being sold as a ring.
theguywiththevoice
Hematite is strong, but brittle. It is not suitable for jewelry.
TheAlternate27
People really will buy anything
MightestGlowCloud
I'm selling bookshelves that break if it holds too much unread books that you've brought with the intention of reading but never do
JSDagger
What's a hermaphrodite ring?
PedestrianElectrobastard
There's a sucker born every minute, and you were right on time.
spittleteets
I need to start reposting memes like this
TinyAxolotl
I need to start commenting like this
Coocooboku
I had a hematite adult toy...still looking for the other half
Turbolibros
Jaskobrot4
Are you stupid?
ComcastLover
Yes... No! I meant no!
nyerguds
Hematite is temperature-sensitive. Heat Fluctuations will make it crack. It's just a bad material to make rings from.
NineByNine
maybe so but fuck it looks pretty
PerpetuityPhoto
This happens with me a lot with hematite jewelry. Apparently it's largely down to skin chemistry. My dad would basically disintegrate them.
haroldgranger
DucklingFullOfTarantulas
Off his Magnum Dong, I presume.
FiendishDoctorWuTangClan
*clangangangangang*
brianthefly
It wasnt hematite enough
Wubbalubbadubdubb101
Tungsten is very hard too but that same hardness (unwillingness to bend) is what makes it brittle.
nemocares
Hardness is resisting intrusion by another body. It often follows brittleness but not always. Talc is soft partially because it's brittle.
Manikasaurus
Hematite is type of a rock and it breaks easily if gets knocked against hard surface. I've broken several of these with my other rings
scarlettoharalovesrhettbutler10
Hematite is a mineral not a rock, Fe2O3... It gives rocks red colors and has (antiferro) magnetism, used widely for studying ?'s magnetism
DrKriegersClone
^ Jesus Christ Marie
idonthaveauser
So has all the negative energy now been sucked out of her life?
lurkilydurkiler
I’d go through one every day right now
aThingWithTheStufAndTheJunk
I think we're missing the subtext here that the boyfriend thinks she's got too much negative energy or wants her to think that.
Kiopho
The subtext is that she's stupid.
aThingWithTheStufAndTheJunk
Pretty sure that's the supertext.
thelegendofthetwistednavigator
Hematite is really brittle, you can't use a regular link punch with a hematite watch band/case as it cracks.
thelegendofthetwistednavigator
May as well complain that the cardboard ring you got didn't hold up well in the swimming pool
BlueLanternBraxx
I'd like to sell you this rock. It repels bears.
Ruudeboy
My GF went: "It does say on the site where I buy crystals that hermatite helps against negative energy".
komododave
aThingWithTheStufAndTheJunk
So she's single?
Ruudeboy
Facepalm
RennegaddeFoxxe
Berethian
I have a rock for sale which keeps tigers away.
theogreofpcp
Lisa, I’d like to buy your rock.
Ru4950
I have a tiger for sale that keeps rocks away...
pazooPositivityPlayer
It's just like people!
idonthaveauser
I will sell you virtual tokens which prevent you from buying fake stuff. Most people heal after 1, but I can also sell in bulk.
Sonicschilidogs
I'll take your entire stock!
idonthaveauser
Stand on one leg, point one hand south and slap your forehead with the other hand. You'll feel a tingling sensation when each token arrives.
Sonicschilidogs
ITS WORKING, OH MY GOD, I MUSTVE GOTTEN 100 TOKENS BY NOW!! THUS WORK WONDERS! How much do I owe you, kind sir or madame?
idonthaveauser
at least 4
FrogBotherer
The sort of money you can make if you're fine with being an asshole is staggering.
kirmes
Classic capitalism
aThingWithTheStufAndTheJunk
Just look at 2016-2020.
Berethian
It's why sociopaths tend to do well in business.
ActionJohnnie
And policing
BarondeBelle
True story!
FrogBotherer
They only difference is they don't tend to think they're being the asshole.
Colopty
You can be fine with being an asshole without recognizing yourself as one.
Imsurprisedihaventchangedmyusernameyet
"asshole" is a spectrum, and you need a middle ground. Can't let every customer milk you, but also can't staight out say "fuck off idiot"
funnyinthehead
Toilet paper which lets you know when you've had enough of this shit by letting your fingers poke through it
eathotdog
Single ply sandpaper economy roll
XIIV
I'm having a bad week but fuck did I laugh at this joke, thank you!
housefriedricenoshrimp
The dreaded hull breach
KeyMasher
IWantToHugEveryCat
Toiler paper that turns red when you have wiped enough.
Ericcantona7
thanks satan
dadanedude
John Wayne toilet paper: Rough and tough and won't take shit from anyone.
HotDogPantsX
John Wayne Brand...rough, tough, and doesn’t take shit from anybody
SuicidalThrillbillyturnedLunaticChillbilly
3 ply will change your life...for your butthole. Or just get one of those ass splasher toilets that clean your asshole out. Whats it called?
68people
Bidet! Life changing. Or do the shave, shit, shower routine
SuicidalThrillbillyturnedLunaticChillbilly
I want one, but money is an issue currently. Join the club, right?
lurkilydurkiler
I like ass splasher better
NineByNine
i went to japan recently. Those fuckin' heated seats, auto-bidet, air freshener, auto flush toilets are fuckin' amazing
NineByNine
and you might be thinking "yeah but I bet those are only in super swanky places" NO, THEY ARE FUCKING EVERYWHERE. EVEN PUBLIC TOILETS.
NineByNine
goddamn i just... i... how do we live with ourselves in the west like this with crap bargain basement toilets oh god what is wrong with us
getcrazywiththecheezewhiz
That’s the last time I got a piece of ass.
HOOMANGUY
When your anus bleeds then you wiped too hard.
RoundThreeFIGHT
*laughs in bidet*
Ericcantona7
Biden?*
NineByNine
seriously why are bidets just not a thing god, I feel so fucking uncultured here in the UK now
WehWehWeh
Just use the sink bro
NineByNine
but i gotta brush my teeth in that D:
Vhyson
Hematite is pretty but also pretty fragile
GhostofCain
Completely correlating to my fragility. How quaint.
ImProbablyReallyHighRightNow
Maybe that's why they're 2 dollars a pop
KillerTofu615
they literally break from changing temperature. Can't imagine they'd last very long
porpoiseoflife
I've worn the same one for the last two years.
KillerTofu615
is yours sealed in a plastic or rubber?
porpoiseoflife
Neither.
mizmoose
I've been wearing the same hematite ring for 5 yrs. It regularly gets smacked into things. I guess I'm not negative enough.
swellguy18
Can confirm. I've shattered one.
swellguy18
A ring made from it I mean.
escalinci
It's just iron ore, yes? stupidly common.
ThatLoserTheFourth
As someone else said, it is relatively abundant, but I also thought I'd say it's also not *just* iron. It's one of the iron(III) oxides 1/2
ThatLoserTheFourth
(chemical formula Fe2O3) formed into a specific crystal lattice known as a rhombohedral lattice 2/2
cuddleskunk
Yes and no. Hematite is very common as a whole, but specimens that are actually workable into a ring are less so (still not super rare).
pazooPositivityPlayer
Almost a ms fragile as me
OverMyDadBody
Hello Ms Fragile
o4kill
Cruising on down main street
amop
I am fo reeeal
OverMyDadBody
bogus1983
Are you several fish and not a guy?
Mrbrown512
I am four eels
StrayCatsMakeGreatKibble
Agreed, but I picked up a $5 Hematite (wedding) band from Chinatown in Québec, CA years ago and have been wearing it daily w/o issue.
yoseiwind
Could be hematine, manmade hematite - tends to be strong. The one in the picture could also be hematine but from an inferior manufacturer.
witheredspoon
They sold you a cheap knock-off ring that won't break! sucker!
megamufn1
For a minute I thought, there’s a Quebec in California too?
QuackWok
Me too... I was all over the map for a second...Chinatown...Quebec...California?
wiezzenger
There is an Ontario in California so...
Markamanic
I had one for years, only reason it broke was because I accidentally smashed it on a railing during a Metallica concert.
thenaftermidnight
Sounds like a worthwhile ending
AninOnin
Check out this dude with the lack of bad vibes
porpoiseoflife
In two years since I bought this hematite ring, I've had one abusive relationship, two stays in psych wards, a cross country move, and 1/
porpoiseoflife
currently on my fourth month of being homeless in north New Jersey. I'm not exactly a font of positivity, but my ring is still going strong.
unicornsdonotexist
Dude you bought a cursed ring
Seminole4ever
So now let me tell you about this baked feta dish that I recently saw on TikTok.
dragonpossum
What if it’s the Hematite ring that’s wearing you and you’re living in some alternate universe where hematite rings are the dominant species