Green Tomato Galette (w recipe and steps)

Finished first. Green tomatoes (yes you can eat them, no they won’t kill you, yes they taste good) with spicy honey balsamic. It’s easy, and we’ve got directions for you to make your own damn tart.

Green tomatoes 8-10oz (za’atar in back). Its late September and these buddies were never gonna ripen. You can use a similar weight of ripe ones, other veg, cooked greens, whatever. Preheat your oven to 400F degrees. I guess that’s like 200C or gas 6?

Slice those fuckers thin. I use a mandoline because its way fucking faster and more even. Knives are also good, but my knife skills would take fingertips as payment.

Thin thin thin. Not paper thin, but maybe ~2mm

Salt them. Let them sit while you do the rest of it. They’re gonna give off some real green water. This is normal. Weird, but normal.

Pull some parchment, and lightly flour it. This is lightly. A tiny sprinkle. A little dusting. Like you bumped into Sniffany and messed up her lines.

Pie crust. You can make your own if you’re a better person than me. This is the refrigerator pillsbury one because I had one left over. If it’s frozen let it come to room temp. If it is straight from the fridge, you should be good. I like to place it on the flour, then flip it over. Smooth the flour sticking to it with your hand, just to evenly spread it. Flip it over. There will be less flour stuck to this side, but do the same thing. This is the side we use up for the rolling.

Roooooll it. If its a premade this is easy and only needs a little work. If you made it, I’unno your life and how you may have fucked up. Get it to 12-14 in. Iunno what that is in non-freedom units. We’re mixing our millimeter tomatoes and inches crust here. Just go with it.

About this thin. Doesn’t need to be even because nothing in life is fair. Thinner at the edges is a safe bet though, they get folded over filling.

You want about an inch and a halfish border. Thats a bit less than a thumb, unless you have Trump hands, in which case three thumbs, or Andre the Giant hands, in which case to the first knuckle. I like to mark it with a spoon or something.

Spread something that is 1) fatty and 2) a paste. It needs to not have a lot of liquid to it. Cream cheese, strained and whipped ricotta (no kink shaming), thick greek yogurt, real thick mornay sauce, you do you. Cheese is fucking great in these. This is garlic hummus because I have a damn bucket of it and ran out of chips. Anything that is thick enough to spoon and spread without running will work. Make sure it has fat because fat is delicious. Spread it all the way to the marks.

Not too thick. I used like four or five good spoonfuls. Maybe 3/4 a cup? Just enough to add some moisture and fat.

Season it how you like. Za’atar, salt, and pepper here. The world is your fucking oyster here, limited only by your pantry and tastebuds. Lemon zest and thyme? Awesome. Garlic and rosemary, fuck yeah. Sichuan peppercorns, chile flakes, and powdered mushroom, go at it. Don’t use anything liquidy. If you must use a liquid or oil, mix it into you spread first. Yeah at this point you’d be fucked if you’re playing along at home, but that’s life.

Drain those tomatoes. I put a paper towel over them and pour out their water. You want them relatively dry; you don’t need to individually dry each slice, but they shouldn’t be dripping. Toss in a little oil, a tablespoon or less. Arrange your slices. I go outside to center. The weird ones on the outer ring because they’re gonna get covered, if you need to impress who is eating this.

Cover any openings. Layer a few over if needed, they’re thin. Make it pretty. Or don’t. It’s your damn food. For a dinner party I’d try harder. Lunch, fuck it.

Start folding. I start at the bottom and go clockwise but you can do whatever, it’s your galette. However the fold should be at the edge of the filling, so we aren’t folding dough onto dough.

Last fold, pop that corner up and press in to the center at that last little beak. It should finish the pleat. Press the creases just enough to seal, but not enough to smoosh.

Even it out. Wrinkles are fine. This is freeform pie.

You want to wash the edges with some sort of water/fat mix. I used like a tablespoon of half and half. You can use anything. Olive oil. Melted butter. Duck fat. Whole milk. The mistake that is 1% milk. A beaten egg. Heavy cream. Whatever. I didn’t want to waste the egg and had half and half in the fridge. It will add a little flavor, help the browning, and keep the top from going cracker-hard.

You can get all fancy and use a pastry brush, which is especially helpful with egg. Cream/milks though, fuck it, just dip your finger in and rub it on. About this much. I normally will go over twice with the “my hands are tools” method, until there’s a little bit on the surface. Egg will make it shiny and rich brown. Creams/butter are good for these shorter pastry (doesn’t rise a lot when baking) and adds color and a little flavor. Wanna sprinkle something on it like sesame seeds or poppyseeds, have at it. The wash helps them stick.

Remember putting down the parchment first? Pick it up and put it on a sheet pan, pat yourself on the back for that bit of forethought, then pop the thing in the oven (preheated to 400 or whatever non-freedom unit you use).

Let it go for 30-45 minutes. Mine took 35. It’ll depend on your oven, your filling, the humidity, maybe the moon phase, probably not your astrological sign, and potentially the size of everything. You can see the one side seam burst a little. This isn’t for Gordon Ramsay, so fuck it, it’s still good.

Let it cool a bit. I drizzled on a mix of balsamic and hot honey because green tomatoes are a little tart and spicy sweet is always welcome. This is best warm or room temp. Eat as is or serve with soup on the side because its fucking fall (or isn’t, I’unno where you live).

Ingredients
8oz green tomatoes, very thinly sliced
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 tablespoon olive oil
3/4 cup hummus
2 tablespoons za’atar
1 pie crust
1 tablespoon half and half
2 teaspoons balsamic vinegar
1 tablespoon chile infused honey
Salt and pepper to taste

Oven at 400f/200c/gas 6
Bake 30-45 minutes.

All told, this should take maybe 10 mins of prep, then 30-40 in the oven. You can absolutely make this while on a conference call.

Salt tomatoes. Roll out pie dough. Put spread in center, leaving a thumbs length of space from the edge. Drain tomatoes well. Toss tomatoes with a little oil. Season spread as desired. Arrange tomatoes. Fold edge of dough over. Wash top of dough with half and half. Bake. Let cool 3 minutes. Mix balsamic and honey, drizzle over.

Leftovers will keep in fridge a few days. Either let come to room temp or heat in a toaster oven/oven for a few minutes.

Swap out your spread for cheeses (softer ones, not all hard), yogurt, etc. Swap the veg for anything not crazy waterlogged. Cooked spinach and mushrooms. Whatever. Greens and mushrooms should be precooked to dry them out. Meat should be precooked to some extent or something thin and dry, like prosciutto.

Go sweet with mascarpone or cream cheese and fruit. Or nutella and strawberries. Peanut butter and bananas.