Isenddickpicks
77489
1911
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Edit: woah front page, didn't ever think I'd make it here. Send cool stuff i guess. Do people still do that?
Edit edit: someone drew it, so that's cool https://imgur.com/gallery/FzTUAg5
Bigz2277
FluxSagrie
nice
carcarodon
The first time i read it when i came to fey i instantly imagined the goblin king (by Bowie) but at the end i realized no HE wouldnt blush...
moricai
Do you want elves? Because that's how you get elves.
ErniesWidow
Light or Dark?
PoppaBigBear
I'd fuck a fae being, my mom is back and in great health and I'd have a kid, where's the downside?
Rogermooreseyebrow
I don't get it
EllJayJay9
I imagined this conversation happening between these two -
DIINKELBERG
#1 that is fantastic!
mormacil
In comic form https://jennhoney.tumblr.com/post/622017554771230720/myrandomthoughts-blog-hayleyolivia
IAmLobstronomous
I love the follow up story! So cute :)
Rogahar
Excellent thankyou
bowtiezrcool
This is just all of my YA Novel fantasies summed up. God I'm a sad human.
Evieling
THAT IS THE POINT. This isn't a subversion of the first born trope, this is what giving the first born has always implied.
godskook
Afaik, the "first-born" part of the trope comes from outside fae lore, and is probably descended from Moses as a myth. The fae original 1/?
godskook
part seems to be rooted in swapping real babies for fake or fae babies, and would have nothing to do with procreation as depicted here. 2//
godskook
That said, it's still not a "subversion" of anything because of how fickle and mysterious fae already are. It's just another example of 3/?
godskook
the same thing they always do. Otoh, it -is- a subversion within the context of the story itself, but that hardly counts. 4/4
Turbolibros
VanZaiden
Fey just noticing the human's eyes are covered by his hair and he's very generic looking: "Oh...OH NO"
DukeSamuelVimes
Explain?
VanZaiden
"generic faceless hentai protagonist"
VanZaiden
if you know, you know
ignisphoenix
??
nycterelis
Had a similar experience with a dragon. We left each other in peace but a decade later the dragon was killed and she left the child to me.
Danivuk
hetriedtokillmewithaforklift
Donkey?
sienge
mouseasw
Found the bard.
lljkstonefish
Found the Donkey
Thandruin
Barkey?
itisanimgurnaccount
'Hi,I'm a donkey bard' *Donkey Screaming*
[deleted]
[deleted]
DayakavitaminD
Holy shit Repost statistics is still around hadn't seen it in a while
Ozhound
Was thinking the same thing
Isenddickpicks
Cool. Hadn't seen it but now i can check out those comments to see what others think, since that was more or less the reason i posted
Daxton
Normally he'll reply with a post that has more/most pixels, I use it to edit mine and replace the low-res version lol
Isenddickpicks
Paulinho70
I don't get it ?
Azurestar
We'll tell you when you're older
zaoo
DeadArcadian
He gonna breed her
Redandpurpleunicorns
The Fae wanted their firstborn. The human assumed That meant they wanted to co-parent with them
PTMdragon
sex makes babies
ThanosTheGreat
In this case…feybies
OPsUnbornChild
Isenddickpicks
Son?
JohnPtempkinReborn
I mean ... for what? Because if a fae is going to take my child as an apprentice not whipping slave, then I'm not denying my kid that chance
JohnPtempkinReborn
It's like the old "don't accept drinks from the fae because you will be bound to them forever". Like OK, what's the day to day like?
DrKriegersClone
Cannon fodder for Mab's war at the outer gates.
textilelover
Man, that was depressing when Molly had to gather them.
whirlydoodle
It's actually an unpaid internship
JohnPtempkinReborn
Sure, sure. They all are. But for fae magic? Or just scrubbing your floors for all eternity
Lampmonster
Exactly, I'm willing to do some unpaid work if I can do magic at the end. That's a fair trade.
JohnPtempkinReborn
Or even if "enslavement and servitude" means immortality in the fairy kingdom in exchange for some chores, I'm still trading up
Lampmonster
What do you do here? I clean up a bit, do some laundry. So you get paid? Not in money, but I've been here three hundred years so....
Lampmonster
You never know, and they'd never tell you without another deal. Fey are weird like that.
JohnPtempkinReborn
True. The first quest reward is always the true information / real quest (even if they don't tell you). Just gotta keep it manageable
itisanimgurnaccount
I feel like trump made that deal and the fae told him to keep the kids.
[deleted]
[deleted]
JohnPtempkinReborn
JohnPtempkinReborn
itisanimgurnaccount
'double or nothing'
zoeytg
Laughs in gay
Nobahdi
cool cool cool...go ahead and search rule34 and male pregnancy.
Jinxies
That's why you only make that deal with a fey of the same gender as yourself.
DragoWhooves
given how strong their magic is, that might not stop an offspring occurring
Teratophiliac
Just make sure you're the one giving not taking, unless you wanna find out how a male passes a baby.
TheGhostMinx
So my DnD character is lusted after by an archfey, both for sex and for power. Send so much help please.
BC2k2
Cold-iron cock ring for the win.
TheGhostMinx
Once my character learns about the birds and the bees, that actually sounds like something that could happen....
BC2k2
Why is your character a child? WTF kind of campaign are you in?
TheGhostMinx
She isn't? She's just kinda stupid.
throwawayPhoenician
I actually had the opposite going on, she thirsting after her fiendish patron to strengthen her bloodline. He was trying to avoid her.
TheGhostMinx
I'll trade you! :D
DukeDarkwood
Reminded of some text story posted here some couple years back about an elf sorceress who was the big bad of some campaign, and the players
DukeDarkwood
eventually learned that all the atrocities they stopped her from committing were toward the goal of resurrecting her dead human lover. It
DukeDarkwood
ended with the players realizing that their entire campaign revolved around ****blocking an elf.
TheGhostMinx
I could use those cockblocking bastards. The archfey is persistent and he wants the poon.
Zahnradfee
But what's the problem?
HandsomePenguin
I like this because the characters could be make or female and it still works.
Noughmad
I'm pretty sure Tina Fey is female.
BubblesTheFish
This is the ideal make body. You may not like it, but this is what sex with fantasy creatures looks like.
Wubbalubbadubdubb101
Make? As in it could be a car?
GondwanaCraton
It's the new Fey 5000, with a supercharged 600 peasant engine!
HiddenSanity
I'm just saying, if they have that degree of medical tech/magic, I assume growing someone a dick is quite possible.
AzraelEternity
I haven't read all of them but if this isn't already an oglaf comic it should be.
AlltheSarcasm87
Women who use anabolic steroids can get an enlarged clitoris so its kinda possible in reality?
HandsomePenguin
Well... one of each (genetically)needed to make a first born I suppose, depending on how magic the Fae are...
DonnaNobleInTheLibrary
Yeah, but it doesn't matter which way around.
Hevach
Some of the stuff Dagda managed to make offspring with had no genitals at all, character could be a tree and it still works.
Hevach
Ireland has it's own version of Zeus's swan thing and it goes COMPLETELY off the rails.
Rogahar
I think the point is either the human or fae could be the one with the womb and the whole joke still works
JohnPtempkinReborn
Me: a female. The fae: another female ... Her: I don't think this is quite how it works. Me: We just have to keep at it. It takes time
Fryfryfryfry
You gotta believe
sienge
I can't remember if you're supposed to clap or if that's just a venereal disease ?
JohnPtempkinReborn
HisDudness
RadasNoir
That whole thing was worth it just for the look on the Christian dude's face.
TheEmeraldProphylactic
Evolutionary lesson. 2 wombs need literally one cell to reproduce. 2 dicks need to make an entire womb. My money is on the women!
StoopKidAfraidToLeaveHisStoop
You mean your dick doesn’t make amniotic sacks? Gotta call my doctor
TheEmeraldProphylactic
Sometimes my dick blows seminal bubbles. Snotty.
StoopKidAfraidToLeaveHisStoop
Welp. That’s that I guess. Gotta go bleach my eyes.
LordRevan2584
DustyMcKnuckles
Her skills in love they do suffice
In close embrace, men find her nice.
Felurian! O Mistress Bright,
Your touch more sought than silver I---
number2commenter
Nice. It rhymes. Why was the phone busy?
NotCreepyPervert
Ah I see your a man of culture at well.
Zachblaster
Time to reread 1&2 again
SkycladNightStroller
You understand what you’ve done? Consigned dozens of imgurians to rereading the books, yet again!
IARECAT
Kaeldiar
As soon as I saw "suffice" I knew I'd found one of the family
ObliqueRay
Oh Jesus that book... the guy can write, but holy shit he cannot put a narrative together to save his life.
beezzarro
I also remember him having a really really bad characterization of women
CreepyPete3
Also could not stand the whole entire chapters about how he’s SUCH a nice guy and an honorable man and would never hurt a woman 1
eclips1st
I couldn’t stand the whole chapter about going to bang with the fey! Ok, we get it, you banged a fairy and are now the bestest at sex…
CreepyPete3
Like we get it r/niceguy just chill
ObliqueRay
*protagonist goes on a tangent after going on a tangent after going on a tangent from the main plot line*
balover1996
Welp, that’s my brain 24/7, summed up nicely
ObliqueRay
And the love interest of his... at this point I just want her to die in a fire. Either fuck or move on, holy crap.
JohnPtempkinReborn
tolkien - downvote me and come at me but seriously. "The world is in peril but first here's a 5pg poem about the grass in the summer ..."
JohnPtempkinReborn
I liked the hobbit (he wrote it for children so streamlined the writing), but found LOTR painful
RadasNoir
I've reread the Hobbit thrice now, but I still haven't ever fully finished LoTR. Always lose steam at the start of Return of the King.
LookinFineLayinDimes
Damnit book 3 needs to come out!
Rabenzwist
Nevermore
ObliqueRay
It's been what, a decade now? Good luck with that.
khtad
Book three ain’t coming out.
DiSTuRBeD0808
You shut your whore mouth
khtad
Book 2 was Mary Sue Harry Potter shit. Book 1 was fantastic, but man was Book 2 ever a step down.
DiSTuRBeD0808
I respect your right to have an opinion. Fortunately, so do I. And my opinion is that your opinion is stupid.
isthatyoujohnwayne
I feel like that shouldve been in caps.
simplymediocre
What book series is this?
myweaknessisstrong
The Kingkiller Chronicle: the individual titles are Wisemans fear and Name of the wind. They are fucking amazing.
simplymediocre
Thank you!!
simplymediocre
I am always looking for new series to read!
abstractdiagram
There’s a third but shorter story about one of the characters too. Slow Regard For Silent Things I think. I can’t seem to find my copy….
jakedafish
Auri is hands down my absolute favorite character in any book period. I love her. Devi is probably my second fave from the series.
myweaknessisstrong
That’s because it was feeling rather out of sorts sitting on your shelf. It’s clearly a very ‘red’ item, so it’s placed in the kitchen, /1
BishlamekGurpgork
Book one, released 2007. Book two, released 2011. Book three, unreleased as of 2021.
BishlamekGurpgork
That said, they ARE fucking amazing.
Sebastopol
Time will prove if he is a god or devil, if he dies before finishing the story the world will know no greater knave.
khtad
His publisher doesn’t think he’s written a single word of book 3
Fishbong
It's already basicly written, he's just not happy with it. Worst case, he dies and we get an average 3rd book.
Rawri0r
I have a friend who finished the first and refuses to read the second, because he wants to know if by the third book, it turns out that ->
Rawri0r
Kvothe was an unreliable narrator all along, or if it was some kind of self-insert by Pat.
Chareu
What's this from?
Vorimar
A Wise Man’s Fears by Patrick Rothfuss
JollyOrc
Kingkiller Chronicles by Patrick Rothfuss.
kaisentlaia
The name of the wind, by Patrick Rothfuss. But a word of caution: it's a trilogy and no one knows when the third will come out.
bluefrenchhorn
I think it’s from A Wise Man’s Fear
tugboatcaptain
It's in the second book actually. The Wise Man's Fear. I hope I get to read the final book someday..
ObliqueRay
That's the word of caution? Not the author's inability to just tell the story? The entire second book is Skyrim side missions.
certifiedllama
Ha, good analogy, though I took that as the point. He is a folk legend, right? Many stories. This is his retelling of them in order
PhantomX6
I thought he was just trying to make the point that, the story is in the journey not the destination.
ObliqueRay
LOTR had a journey. This was tangents off tangents off tangents. How do you manage an entire book without advancing the main story at all?