adhdlatte
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i don’t really even know what to say. i’m not coping well and words are hard lately.
his name is billy. he just turned 25 on august 6th. passed august 23rd. very sudden and very traumatic.
he always introduces himself with “howdy, i’m bill factor” and a firm handshake. always greeted me with a “howdy, sis”. gave a hug that could make anything okay.
i miss him so much it’s crippling. just wanted to share him with the world, maybe throw out a “howdy, bill” if you can. i don’t know what to do without him.
best brother, best uncle to my children, best son to our mother, best human being i will ever know. i can’t fathom how life is just going on without him. the pain is so heavy.
thank you for letting me word vomit. i am so sorry for anyone else that may be grieving. my heart is with you.
i love you, brother.
*edit*
i want to sincerely thank you all from my bones for allowing me to share not only my love for him, but my grief as well. every single one of you have provided a moment of comfort in an unsettling time. thank you all so, so much. i am deeply saddened by all of your losses and i grieve with you.
stimpackaddict13
ironymus
CouldntCakeLess
I‘m sorry for your loss.
adhdlatte
i really appreciate you.
Cats2cats
I am hearing ache caused by love lost. But not all get to experience this kind of sibling love. As much as this is difficult, you have adventure stories to share with your kids! He will live on thru your stories.
adhdlatte
thank you for your kindness.
gir2195
May Bill's Howdys be remembered and live on through you.
adhdlatte
what a lovely thing to share. thank you so much.
variantXer0
Howdy, Bill. You sound like a great person. Whatever comes next, I hope it’s good to you.
adhdlatte
thank you so much.
2fligh2high
That is awful op. I wish you strength
adhdlatte
thank you.
WhiteKnighted
I share the same birthday with Bill. I'm sorry for your loss. August 6th will be forever poorer.
adhdlatte
it brings me comfort to know that someone somewhere will celebrate him too. thank you.
Infinias
Howdy, Bill. May your light shine through the people you touched.
My condolences, @op.
adhdlatte
brighter than a lighthouse in every way, thank you for keeping his light shining.
bdennis3222000
My deepest condolences for your loss. I lost my Brother in 2010 and it sucks but you will slowly begin to accept it. You’re in the grieving phase and it is absolutely ok to have all of these feelings right now. If you need help or someone to vent to you can do it here. Or you can just go outside and scream into the wind, sounds weird but it helped me.
adhdlatte
i will absolutely be doing this, thank you for the advice and kindness.
EgglyBagelface
He looks like a friendly fella. I more or less can relate with your loss. Loss is loss. Find meaning in your life and do things he would want to do or yolo and live a life and try to feel him living it with ya.
adhdlatte
this sounds like something he would tell me. thank you for this.
AlonzoMoselyFBI
Losing a sibling is one of the worst things that's happened in my life. I know this void. Keep talking about him. Your grief is valid and unpredictable. Accept it, but do not despair. It will eventually become a part of you and you will find your way. Big hugs to you honey.
adhdlatte
i’ll never run out of ways to scream about him from the rooftop. thank you so much.
DJMasson
I'm so sorry for your loss -- your brother sounds like a righteous dude. Thank you for sharing him with us, and I hope there's comfort in his howdy-ness bringing so much light into your lives. May his memories comfort you in the days ahead ♥
adhdlatte
thank you so, so much for your kind words.
DrewThe3DPrinterGuy
Howdy Bill! Also
adhdlatte
i needed this so badly. thank you.
DrewThe3DPrinterGuy
You're welcome I know they are just words but I hope you feel better in time. It's healthy to grieve.
adhdlatte
words can move mountains. every little bit helps.
allthelessyoungdudettesunite
I hope there's some great views beyond the Milky Way, Bill.
adhdlatte
thank you.
EmmaMelisande
He sounds like a good guy. All the feels
adhdlatte
thank you.
4EverWaz
Sorry for your loss, and the burden of helping your kids and mother through the worst of the grief. May the great memories of your brother never fade, and may those memories embrace you like a hug when they visit in the future.
adhdlatte
thank you for sharing some of the weight with me in this moment.
ClickCheeseCat
Shamelessly stolen logo from a podcast but somehow still felt ok
adhdlatte
god, thank you for stealing.
Beesareonthewhatnow
Howdy Bill Factor. You sounded like an incredible human being.
adhdlatte
thank you so much.
mooselover002
But hugs
mooselover002
Oops damn autocorrect *big hugs
adhdlatte
i laughed. thank you.
APassingPlasticBag
There are no words that help or thing that eases the pain, outside of sharing loved memories, and that cause it never stops hurting but I promise you friend, it gets lighter. Those moments wanting to rip your heart out become fewer and far between and replaced with warm remembrance and a laugh at a memory, a brief smile accompanied with a quiet unending ache to reach out, if only for a moment. I’m so sorry for your loss and I wish you all peace joy you can find in these times. It gets lighter <3
adhdlatte
i felt this in my bones. thank you for the comfort you gave. so much.
Howdymamabear
Thank you for the kind words and providing the hope that with time we will be able to handle this better
APassingPlasticBag
Oh and Howdy Bill you looked like a fun dude.
adhdlatte
thank you.
DoctorNoodlesMD
Howdy, Bill. Your sister misses you very much, and I miss mine. Love from Maine, stranger. It gets at least a little better, and a little worse. Be kind to yourself, if you ever need to vent DM me.
adhdlatte
siblings love like no other sometimes. thank you so much.
Zebrahoofs
Not to really take anything from you. Recently lost my dad, great man and I feel your pain and loss. Don't even know what to say to make it better but that its a process. You are on this painful journey to sort out how you feel but I'm definitely sure you will come out ok. Prayers for you.
adhdlatte
nothing taken, our sorrow is shared. i’m so sorry.
HepatitisLee
Just found my 23 yo nephew overdosed on fentanyl less than 2 weeks ago. I’ve been doing my best to stay moving, stay busy, and writing in my journal when I feel overwhelmed. I hope you have a therapist you trust or someone who is incredibly safe around you. So so sorry for your loss. I’m told it gets better.
adhdlatte
i am saddened to share the grief with you, but so grateful to have you here. so sorry for your loss.
unbreathless
Neurospicer
I'm sorry you lost your nephew. My 26yo SIL and her fiancee died the same way early last year. It does get better, in the sense that it eventually becomes familiar, if not comfortable. You learn where the holes they left in your life are and how to avoid them when you need to.
adhdlatte
i am so sorry for your losses. thank you for being here.
TheSuicider
Howdy adhdlatte, howdy Bill.
Hope you have good people around you to help manage the pain and cherish the memories. Went through very similar stuff and hope you all the best 🫶
adhdlatte
thank you so much.
jrizza123
this is hard, I know. I am year 6. Just remember him and feel your feelings. It doesn't get better but it does get easier and the remembering helps! I always think, what if I never knew him. That would be the bigger tragedy.
adhdlatte
thank you so much. i’m so sorry we are missing them more and more as time goes on.
AnonOmis1000
If it's appropriate to ask, do you know the cause?
adhdlatte
i know how he died, i don’t know why or what caused any of it to happen. the lack of understanding is crippling. i wish he could tell me.
bot1010011010
/gallery/W7vRQPP/comment/2422952171
youngfarty
Howdy, Bill
truthader
Howdy, Bill 💛
@op My heart goes out to you, Sis. Thank you for sharing this piece of yourself and letting us celebrate his life and mourn his passing with you. Keep sharing as much as you want and in your own time and way. May the weight of grief be lighter for doing so.
adhdlatte
thank you for giving me a safe space to love him out loud.
adhdlatte
thank you. so much.
rulerofthedingdongs
You gave a lovely little introduction to your brother. We are all a little bit richer for having met him, and all a little bit sadder knowing you have lost him.
adhdlatte
thank you for letting me share him with all of you. it helps to know there are people still finding joy in knowing him, even if only a little.
youngfarty
Agreed, thank you, @op
adhdlatte
thank you for appreciating him the way i do.
QuantumLeap
Howdy, Bill
adhdlatte
thank you.
jermprobably
Hidily Hodily, Bill Diddly Doodly!
adhdlatte
thank you so much.
Howdymamabear
I even read this in his deep baritone voice!
Sechran
Sounds like Bill did life right.
Sorry it did him so short.
adhdlatte
he did so much good. brought so much joy. healed so many wounds he didn’t cause. thank you.
boyneutron3
He shot at police officers.
Howdymamabear
There has been no evidence presented to prove that without a doubt at this point
boyneutron3
Except the bodycam video in the above posted link
Howdymamabear
No actually it does not and having seen the unredacted footage it doesn’t either. Quite convenient for one to shut off and the other one to point at the ground
boyneutron3
What are you disputing?
dspillett
For anyone else wondering: this does appear to be true. Several news sources report as Billy Ray Factor died on that day in a shots-fired police incident where he shot first. One of several sources with bodycam footage: https://eu.oklahoman.com/story/news/2024/09/27/edmond-ok-police-shooting-bodycam-footage/75414888007/ — no link to a photo, or good enough detail in the clips, to visually compare with this image, but the other details don't seem coincidental.
Howdymamabear
Actually, the footage released neither confirms or denies it. Yes shots were fired but mysteriously one body cam was aimed at the ground and the other turned off so the only ones that know exactly what happened right now were the 3 involved and one of those people can’t tell his story. The case is still under investigation and until all the evidence is presented one can only ‘assume’ that he fired first or even at all. Anyone that actually knew Bill knows that he is not that type of person.
vemvet
Good sleuthing, but always remember that police lie *all the time* on statements. Until unredacted footage is available to verify their statements, never take their word for it, especially if it concerns a police-involved shooting. They are always in CYA mode and will literally invent crimes out of thin air to justify their actions.
adhdlatte
we are all lost, the deep longing to hear him speak about what happened that night is the worst pain. thank you for acknowledging that maybe we don’t fully understand what happened and why.
vemvet
This case doesn't look to be that egregious, though. The footage we do have paints Factor in a pretty bad light.
Howdymamabear
I wish that were the case but having seen the unredacted footage, all it did was cause more questions as mysteriously neither body cam showed the exchange. (One was shut off, the other pointed at the ground)
dspillett
Doesn't mean that he wasn't all the good things OP states, of course, especially to the OP, but there was something screwy with him that night.
adhdlatte
i want you to know that i felt an immense sense of relief for the first time since he left. reading this. i wasn’t there when it happened, and i would get on my knees and beg to hear him tell me about it. i only know the billy that was my brother, and to me he was all of those things i spoke about. thank you from the bottom of my heart for this.
boyneutron3
True, but allegedly he was dressed in all black at his ex's house with a gun that he then used to shoot at police officers with. I was just pointing out that doesn't seem to be "doing life right." Cops may have stopped a murder.
Muffyns
This needs more upvotes
JoVaLDrawsShittudes
Ex dumped him day before, geared in all black with binoculars, firearm, phone and a confom. Shooting happened on ex's balcony as neighbours called the police and he shot at them first. Def not doing right there.
MarkOfTheCovenant
Poor form, boys. She's grieving the loss of her brother, asking for support. This ain't it.