lost my little brother.

Oct 17, 2024 5:51 PM

adhdlatte

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1114

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i don’t really even know what to say. i’m not coping well and words are hard lately.

his name is billy. he just turned 25 on august 6th. passed august 23rd. very sudden and very traumatic.

he always introduces himself with “howdy, i’m bill factor” and a firm handshake. always greeted me with a “howdy, sis”. gave a hug that could make anything okay.

i miss him so much it’s crippling. just wanted to share him with the world, maybe throw out a “howdy, bill” if you can. i don’t know what to do without him.

best brother, best uncle to my children, best son to our mother, best human being i will ever know. i can’t fathom how life is just going on without him. the pain is so heavy.

thank you for letting me word vomit. i am so sorry for anyone else that may be grieving. my heart is with you.

i love you, brother.

*edit*

i want to sincerely thank you all from my bones for allowing me to share not only my love for him, but my grief as well. every single one of you have provided a moment of comfort in an unsettling time. thank you all so, so much. i am deeply saddened by all of your losses and i grieve with you.

grief

15 hours ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

14 hours ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I‘m sorry for your loss.

18 hours ago | Likes 152 Dislikes 1

i really appreciate you.

18 hours ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

I am hearing ache caused by love lost. But not all get to experience this kind of sibling love. As much as this is difficult, you have adventure stories to share with your kids! He will live on thru your stories.

15 hours ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

thank you for your kindness.

9 hours ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

May Bill's Howdys be remembered and live on through you.

17 hours ago | Likes 86 Dislikes 1

what a lovely thing to share. thank you so much.

17 hours ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Howdy, Bill. You sound like a great person. Whatever comes next, I hope it’s good to you.

15 hours ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

thank you so much.

9 hours ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That is awful op. I wish you strength

18 hours ago | Likes 60 Dislikes 1

thank you.

18 hours ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

I share the same birthday with Bill. I'm sorry for your loss. August 6th will be forever poorer.

11 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

it brings me comfort to know that someone somewhere will celebrate him too. thank you.

9 hours ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Howdy, Bill. May your light shine through the people you touched.
My condolences, @op.

16 hours ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

brighter than a lighthouse in every way, thank you for keeping his light shining.

16 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

My deepest condolences for your loss. I lost my Brother in 2010 and it sucks but you will slowly begin to accept it. You’re in the grieving phase and it is absolutely ok to have all of these feelings right now. If you need help or someone to vent to you can do it here. Or you can just go outside and scream into the wind, sounds weird but it helped me.

12 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

i will absolutely be doing this, thank you for the advice and kindness.

9 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

He looks like a friendly fella. I more or less can relate with your loss. Loss is loss. Find meaning in your life and do things he would want to do or yolo and live a life and try to feel him living it with ya.

13 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

this sounds like something he would tell me. thank you for this.

9 hours ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Losing a sibling is one of the worst things that's happened in my life. I know this void. Keep talking about him. Your grief is valid and unpredictable. Accept it, but do not despair. It will eventually become a part of you and you will find your way. Big hugs to you honey.

14 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

i’ll never run out of ways to scream about him from the rooftop. thank you so much.

9 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm so sorry for your loss -- your brother sounds like a righteous dude. Thank you for sharing him with us, and I hope there's comfort in his howdy-ness bringing so much light into your lives. May his memories comfort you in the days ahead ♥

14 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

thank you so, so much for your kind words.

9 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Howdy Bill! Also

18 hours ago | Likes 102 Dislikes 1

i needed this so badly. thank you.

18 hours ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

You're welcome I know they are just words but I hope you feel better in time. It's healthy to grieve.

17 hours ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

words can move mountains. every little bit helps.

17 hours ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I hope there's some great views beyond the Milky Way, Bill.

15 hours ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

thank you.

9 hours ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

He sounds like a good guy. All the feels

15 hours ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

thank you.

9 hours ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sorry for your loss, and the burden of helping your kids and mother through the worst of the grief. May the great memories of your brother never fade, and may those memories embrace you like a hug when they visit in the future.

15 hours ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

thank you for sharing some of the weight with me in this moment.

9 hours ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Shamelessly stolen logo from a podcast but somehow still felt ok

12 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

god, thank you for stealing.

9 hours ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Howdy Bill Factor. You sounded like an incredible human being.

14 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

thank you so much.

9 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

But hugs

15 hours ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Oops damn autocorrect *big hugs

14 hours ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

i laughed. thank you.

9 hours ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

There are no words that help or thing that eases the pain, outside of sharing loved memories, and that cause it never stops hurting but I promise you friend, it gets lighter. Those moments wanting to rip your heart out become fewer and far between and replaced with warm remembrance and a laugh at a memory, a brief smile accompanied with a quiet unending ache to reach out, if only for a moment. I’m so sorry for your loss and I wish you all peace joy you can find in these times. It gets lighter <3

15 hours ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

i felt this in my bones. thank you for the comfort you gave. so much.

9 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thank you for the kind words and providing the hope that with time we will be able to handle this better

8 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Oh and Howdy Bill you looked like a fun dude.

15 hours ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

thank you.

9 hours ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Howdy, Bill. Your sister misses you very much, and I miss mine. Love from Maine, stranger. It gets at least a little better, and a little worse. Be kind to yourself, if you ever need to vent DM me.

12 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

siblings love like no other sometimes. thank you so much.

9 hours ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not to really take anything from you. Recently lost my dad, great man and I feel your pain and loss. Don't even know what to say to make it better but that its a process. You are on this painful journey to sort out how you feel but I'm definitely sure you will come out ok. Prayers for you.

9 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

nothing taken, our sorrow is shared. i’m so sorry.

9 hours ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Just found my 23 yo nephew overdosed on fentanyl less than 2 weeks ago. I’ve been doing my best to stay moving, stay busy, and writing in my journal when I feel overwhelmed. I hope you have a therapist you trust or someone who is incredibly safe around you. So so sorry for your loss. I’m told it gets better.

15 hours ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

i am saddened to share the grief with you, but so grateful to have you here. so sorry for your loss.

9 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

10 hours ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'm sorry you lost your nephew. My 26yo SIL and her fiancee died the same way early last year. It does get better, in the sense that it eventually becomes familiar, if not comfortable. You learn where the holes they left in your life are and how to avoid them when you need to.

12 hours ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

i am so sorry for your losses. thank you for being here.

9 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Howdy adhdlatte, howdy Bill.
Hope you have good people around you to help manage the pain and cherish the memories. Went through very similar stuff and hope you all the best 🫶

16 hours ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

thank you so much.

9 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

this is hard, I know. I am year 6. Just remember him and feel your feelings. It doesn't get better but it does get easier and the remembering helps! I always think, what if I never knew him. That would be the bigger tragedy.

9 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

thank you so much. i’m so sorry we are missing them more and more as time goes on.

9 hours ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If it's appropriate to ask, do you know the cause?

15 hours ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

i know how he died, i don’t know why or what caused any of it to happen. the lack of understanding is crippling. i wish he could tell me.

9 hours ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Howdy, Bill

18 hours ago | Likes 365 Dislikes 1

Howdy, Bill 💛

@op My heart goes out to you, Sis. Thank you for sharing this piece of yourself and letting us celebrate his life and mourn his passing with you. Keep sharing as much as you want and in your own time and way. May the weight of grief be lighter for doing so.

12 hours ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

thank you for giving me a safe space to love him out loud.

9 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

thank you. so much.

18 hours ago | Likes 46 Dislikes 0

You gave a lovely little introduction to your brother. We are all a little bit richer for having met him, and all a little bit sadder knowing you have lost him.

15 hours ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 0

thank you for letting me share him with all of you. it helps to know there are people still finding joy in knowing him, even if only a little.

9 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Agreed, thank you, @op

15 hours ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

thank you for appreciating him the way i do.

9 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Howdy, Bill

15 hours ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

thank you.

9 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Hidily Hodily, Bill Diddly Doodly!

12 hours ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

thank you so much.

9 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I even read this in his deep baritone voice!

9 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Sounds like Bill did life right.

Sorry it did him so short.

17 hours ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 0

he did so much good. brought so much joy. healed so many wounds he didn’t cause. thank you.

17 hours ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

He shot at police officers.

16 hours ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 3

There has been no evidence presented to prove that without a doubt at this point

8 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Except the bodycam video in the above posted link

8 hours ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

No actually it does not and having seen the unredacted footage it doesn’t either. Quite convenient for one to shut off and the other one to point at the ground

8 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

What are you disputing?

7 hours ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

For anyone else wondering: this does appear to be true. Several news sources report as Billy Ray Factor died on that day in a shots-fired police incident where he shot first. One of several sources with bodycam footage: https://eu.oklahoman.com/story/news/2024/09/27/edmond-ok-police-shooting-bodycam-footage/75414888007/ — no link to a photo, or good enough detail in the clips, to visually compare with this image, but the other details don't seem coincidental.

14 hours ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Actually, the footage released neither confirms or denies it. Yes shots were fired but mysteriously one body cam was aimed at the ground and the other turned off so the only ones that know exactly what happened right now were the 3 involved and one of those people can’t tell his story. The case is still under investigation and until all the evidence is presented one can only ‘assume’ that he fired first or even at all. Anyone that actually knew Bill knows that he is not that type of person.

8 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Good sleuthing, but always remember that police lie *all the time* on statements. Until unredacted footage is available to verify their statements, never take their word for it, especially if it concerns a police-involved shooting. They are always in CYA mode and will literally invent crimes out of thin air to justify their actions.

12 hours ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 2

we are all lost, the deep longing to hear him speak about what happened that night is the worst pain. thank you for acknowledging that maybe we don’t fully understand what happened and why.

9 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This case doesn't look to be that egregious, though. The footage we do have paints Factor in a pretty bad light.

12 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

I wish that were the case but having seen the unredacted footage, all it did was cause more questions as mysteriously neither body cam showed the exchange. (One was shut off, the other pointed at the ground)

8 hours ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Doesn't mean that he wasn't all the good things OP states, of course, especially to the OP, but there was something screwy with him that night.

14 hours ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 3

i want you to know that i felt an immense sense of relief for the first time since he left. reading this. i wasn’t there when it happened, and i would get on my knees and beg to hear him tell me about it. i only know the billy that was my brother, and to me he was all of those things i spoke about. thank you from the bottom of my heart for this.

9 hours ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

True, but allegedly he was dressed in all black at his ex's house with a gun that he then used to shoot at police officers with. I was just pointing out that doesn't seem to be "doing life right." Cops may have stopped a murder.

13 hours ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

This needs more upvotes

13 hours ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Ex dumped him day before, geared in all black with binoculars, firearm, phone and a confom. Shooting happened on ex's balcony as neighbours called the police and he shot at them first. Def not doing right there.

12 hours ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Poor form, boys. She's grieving the loss of her brother, asking for support. This ain't it.

11 hours ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1