Sweenerd
42665
1010
34
This was when everything everywhere all at once won a bunch.
MrPengy
#34 Why do people hate dandelions? Are they opposed to having some damn color in their lawn? I go around them when I mow.
Yakeshinu
#3
DotcoreJetkill
#38 Jesus Christ, Emily!
Yakeshinu
#16 Oh, if only!
NZSheeps
#7
sirbartonslady
exactly what i was thinking when i saw that comment LMAO
Littledirtybirdyfeet
#1 and then when you can no longer avoid being overloaded, like in motherhood, and your kid, who is so much like you and your autistic sibling, gets diagnosed with AuDHD 😬
Talden
#38 Wait, hold on. Did that woman thought you could trial and jail a kid for reading a violent book? What kind of madness is this?
Lexgeddon
After I read that I really had to just sit with it awhile. The idea of calling the cops on your child for ingesting a piece of objectionable media is genuinely crazy, well beyond the realm of just "not a good parent."
amp99
#19
SexuallyAmbiguousPangolin
https://media1.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1Zmp4MG1qdnQ4Z2Vxd2F5c2h1OHc0aTlyMGZpOTBhNXppZDhzNnJsZSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/3oriOiN0eR08su5G4E/200w.webp
FeedTheNachoMan
#13 okay but the Guillermo del Toro Pinocchio is actually really good.
vonpecker
I really enjoyed it too! Puss in boots is a classic, of course, but don't sleep on GDT's Pinocchio
FeedTheNachoMan
#30
zafner
#6 absolutely thought that was what this meant
KingXizor
#15 one does not emote upon feeling pain by saying 'ouch'. One emotes upon feeling pain by laughing maniacally and morphing the last 'ha' into 'ha-olymotherfuckinggoddamnedshit'.
Veluren
#15 I wonder if people do this for the same reason I do of being programmed to expect getting yelled at for making an unexpectedly loud sound, so by saying "ow" it reduces or negates the odds of the yelling because it instead triggers concern.
FeedTheNachoMan
For me, it's more like not wanting people to think I'm angry or violent or anything, because apparently I'm naturally intimidating to people :c
JoJoSapiens
#1 100% and speaking more generally, this is a reason I try to be understanding when kids are acting out. They have far less control over their lives than any of us do and few effective ways to protest mistreatment.
preventerfire
#37 for the price of this operation and prosecution, they could have bought the damn shoes and given them to all the kids
emu314159127001
#37 Chicago Police, isn't that the byword for corrupt garbage?
ifyoutakemeseriouslythatsonyou
#1 I don't have children for all the right reasons but I'm also old enough to have plenty of people with children around. I was under the impression that we don't do that to children anymore.
theomni
We do it a lot less now, depending on the community, but we definitely still do it.
theomni
#26 This feels incredibly accurate and personal.
SexuallyAmbiguousPangolin
#17 meanwhile - present day - an 8-hour work day on federal minimum wage earns $58 /before/ tax, and eggs where I'm at are hovering around $8/dozen.
LZorro
So we should all be, as suggested, going on strike.
byronwilliams4010
#6 I like that interpretation, too, but Andre often called friends and acquaintances 'boss' in casual conversation. I've seen a couple of docos on Andre and people frequently quote him using the term that way.
Ghlargh
#6 checks out. There is a loud noise, everything stops, and now you need to fight the big dude.
byronwilliams4010
*Boss fart music plays*
NZSheeps
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cx28MlhY8zc
zwomally
#38 lol could you imagine staying willfully married to someone like that? Like, what happens in bed the day of reporting your daughter for book reading?
SpaceForGold
#6 other Barry agrees.
byronwilliams4010
#15 Sometimes I wonder why we're programmed to cry out involuntarily when we're hurt, and I decided it's so the rest of the tribe immediately knew where the tiger was.
sirbartonslady
#6 did someone take out a fuckin stopwatch and time the fart? (the mental image of like, Mandy or Cary whipping out a stopwatch to time the fart is breaking my fuckin brain)
RunawaySpoons
Could it have been whilst filming? Or someone on set with a very reliable internal clock estimated, so people believed them?
Though granted, it does sound like the kind of detail that gets added to embellish a recounting of an event.
skwint
It would have been so much cheaper to just give them all shoes ...
drochleprechaun
Putting people in jail makes money for the people that own the prisons. On an unrelated note those same owners donate to congressmen and police departments and judges. It's a complete coincidence that laws are written that force taxpayers to pay to put other taxpayers in jail.
TheOnlyPtylerdactyl
Spending $20 to help people: bad, wasteful, possibly morally evil according to a very old poetry book I definitely haven't even read
Spending $2,000 to harm people: well it's a shame but it has to be done
Throwawayforsillynonsense
Ah but that is where you are wrong. They know exactly what they are doing. They could spend $20 to help someone they view as less than human; or, they could spend $2000 to acquire more slaves for the profit generating, slave labor, market we call a prison system. The $2000 isn't spent money, it's an investment.
SprinklesMckitten
The cops wouldnt meet quota, they would be fired and loose their health insurance and be made an example to other officers
TeddyBruhsvelt
Cops having a quota of arrests they need to make is batshit levels of dystopia
WhoHim
Do you know how hard it is to get a cop fired
maday1br
After all, THEIR unions are sacrosanct.
SprinklesMckitten
Fired for cruelty, very difficult.
But there are so many other sins to commit against their gospel, any one of which would be sufficient for exile. If the investigation of one sin found others, all the better. The tribe would be made stronger, weakness cut out from the pack. Loyalty and brotherhood would remain true
Greypuppy
#8 If anyone asks me to come to church to "save me", I'm wearing my skull fursuit and using my TST flag as a cape. Either I convert them to the good side, or they leave me alone forever.
LoopStricken
Question: How skull fursuit when skulls no fur?
Greypuppy
Exposed skull face, fur elsewhere like the neck and back of the head.
LoopStricken
So like SCP-1471 or Mal0?
Greypuppy
Yeah, I get called that a lot when people see pictures lmao
LoopStricken
Cruxia13
#9 This is why you specify that you're HOSTING a conflict resolution seminar. Then you sound like an expert in the field and also keep your D&D nights open.
Aurentis
Why? This seems like a bonus, to me.
Anyone who knows me isn't scared of me and anyone who's scared of me isn't bugging me.
mnasidika
If your dnd sessions are long-term and tend to last a few hours, frame them as Workshops, rather than Seminars. Workshops tend to be shorter but over a longer period of time, where Seminars are longer over a shorter period of time (usually a few days to a week).
cadesama
If your work monitors your activities and schedules things outside of a 9-5 window, you have a bigger problem. If you are playing D & D during normal working hours, work has a you problem.
Isiel89
Came here to exactly state this. You are the conflict resolution HOST. You teach others to resolve conflict. Suddenly, you’re the man getting a raise and promotion.
tantallous
but then someone sees that and tries to sign up for it and your cover is blown.
DoctorWookie
More players for the table! Blood for the blood god!
tantallous
right but the reason its being disguised is b/c they don't want the coworkers to know about it
Cruxia13
True, but I feel like a coworker that learns you put on regular self-improvement seminars and decides to give up some of their off time to participate is the kind of person that's going to be open-minded enough to be welcomed to the D&D session.
DoctorWookie
Just put an NDA down and make them sign it before they can join the session. Rule 1 of Fight Club and all that.
Frenchgeek
"Look: I play a barbarian. Of course I'm responsible for innumerable acts of violence!"
NeoNeanderthal
Bruh. My chillest character was a barbarian. He was incredibly chill...for barbarian standards at least. The party didn't really appreciate him. Then there was the amnesia episode.
Artebudz
DM of my current campaign got every player to pick a non adventuring job for their character.
The barbarian chose diplomat.
Aggressive negotiations were common
DarthWaiterSE
Oh, that's some good shit. I will now steal it.
Leonon
SJBSavageInk
#12 explanation of why this is funny for those that don't know anime. These are all men.
GanondorfLink
Two of those are Fire Emblem characters not Anime Characters.
sirbartonslady
oh but they're from modern Fire Emblem, which is just Anime Chess anymore, so it's fine
GanondorfLink
Oh sure, though I disagree with your statement. Fire Emblem has always been Anime Chess.
JustAnotherRandomCommenter
i was thinking they had unusually small tits for anime girls, that makes sense now.
SJBSavageInk
https://media3.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPWE1NzM3M2U1dWIzNHhpOW81MHl2M2FyaGdnOGgxbDQxcnNoZHg3bWEwb3pteGx1ZSZlcD12MV9naWZzX3NlYXJjaCZjdD1n/Vmwngrhgk0seI/200w.webp
BrockEffingSamson
#47 Great dump. Except this fucking one. Imagine still doing false equivalency here in 2025. Or pretending that the two parties are in cahoots. Real "my understanding of politics begins and ends with things written on t-shirts at a truck stop" stuff.
SlaaneshiRightsFront
I mean, it's not so much "both parties are bad" as it is "if this party deserved to be spared the culling, they would be doing more to resist the descent into madness"
Like, yes, the fascists are worse, and should be put in the fucking ground, that's not in question. But when that's said and done, the criminal negligence, at best, of their supposed "opposition" shouldn't be forgiven, nor forgotten.
BrockEffingSamson
Oh, is that what it is about? Because what it said was the Democrats and Republicans are pretending to fight, but both actually robbing us. I guess you know the author of the meme, and he showed you the first draft or something. I'm sorry to inform you that that version didn't make it to print.
SlaaneshiRightsFront
Well, robbing you, some of us don't live in fascist shitholes, but sure, get mad at me about it. Whatever helps you sleep at night.
BrockEffingSamson
Hey fucko...don't like fascists? Stop helping them out by pretending they're the same as any other political group. "Both sides," is Republican propaganda, so eat shit.
SlaaneshiRightsFront
That's not what I said, but I don't really care enough about your opinion to break out the crayons and go through it with you, have a good one; hope the pointless rage helped.
theoccultist
Look if you want to state that the meme is false because they're not working together to steal from us, that's fine. But if you think either party gives a shit about you, you're wrong. You can claim that one party behaves worse than the other, but everybody claims that. And yeah, I'm sure you can point out specific examples of the other party's evil; but their constituents can do the same.
BrockEffingSamson
Cool "both sides", bro! I bet you could put that on a t-shirt and sell it at a truck stop! The important thing to remember is that objective reality doesn't exist, and there's no way to tell if one claim is better or worse than any other claim!
theoccultist
"Why acknowledge my own party's flaws and work toward fixing them when instead I can just froth at the mouth and call the other party evil?" That's what you sound like. I absolutely lean to one side more than the other, but even that side is FUCKED UP and it needs to be fixed. To pretend otherwise is ignorant and naive. But yeah, keep espousing your blatant "with us or against" us mentality that has worked out so well for everybody the past few elections.
BCrumb
You are totally right. It's actually insane to me that people still believe in electoral politics at all. Start working on revolution, because we can't vote our way out of capitalism.
BrockEffingSamson
It is possible to dislike silly horseshit like "Democrats are play-fighting with Republicans but actually working with them to steal your money" without "believing in electoral politics", whatever the fuck that means. Good luck on your revolution, I'm excited to hear your plans for overthrowing the government in a way that doesn't result massive famine and disease and brutal suppression of women and minorities. I'll wait for your lucid answer.
BrockEffingSamson
The claim was that Democrats were play-fighting but secretly working with Republicans to steal my money. I was responding to that. If you want to have a fucking imaginary conversation with someone else in your head who said something like "I own the Democratic Party and it is perfect and I refuse to fix it you're either with me or against me", then leave me fucking out of it.
theoccultist
Yeah, the first line of my first comment specifically addressed that I accept your stance that they're not working together. You chose to respond anyway and thereby took a position, that I then followed up to again. Sorry for any misunderstanding. No need to be a dick.