tdervish
276
17
4
Family.
My sister and I have never been close. After three and a half decades, we were starting to pull it together but I wouldn't say she's been extending herself to be my support much. In fact, she doesn't answer my calls. Tonight, I answered one of hers.
Tonight the cops called me and told me to come over to her house. I'm on the couch currently, and they wanted a family member stay over and make sure the boys get on the bus safely for school tomorrow. My lovely sister also wanted me to explain to them that they shouldn't discuss this with their dad over the weekend because then she might lose them for good.
I have my own problems, the biggest one being our father (the most important person in my life) getting a bad follow-up from Mayo Clinic after having his kidney removed in August. I need to be there for him, and my mother. They need to put their attention there too, instead of scrambling to keep my sister's shattered family intact. They even took custody of the boys for 9 months.
What a shitty situation. My sister has lost the boys to the system, went to jail, did probation, lost her teacher's license... and still, she can't help but prioritize a box of wine over her three children.
I love them so much. But I have my own life which never included plans for me to be a parent.
Eclaircissement
"My problems are getting me down. I need a pick me up. I'll just go on Imgur. Click click WHOA! My problems ain't shit!" TY, Imgur
jimmorrisonlives
Addicts are selfish selfish people. You're a good person for looking out for the kids, don't give up on them.
CorgiButtButtWutWut
The boys might be separated in the system. If you can, try to help them stay together. More often than not, they'll be separated :(
VagisilToothpaste
I know you feel obligated, OP - but nobody is forcing you. Honestly. I know it sounds harsh but it's the truth.
tdervish
One of my friends told me to step away because the kids are fucked no matter what I do. It just broke my heart to hear that.
VagisilToothpaste
It IS heartbreaking. I've seen it happen before. It's not pretty. But again, it's not your responsibility.
InfiniteSerious
I feel your pain OP. Try not to enable her habits. Some folks with addictions are experts at manipulation.
tdervish
I think it's time to join Al-Anon. I have no fucking idea what I'm doing, and I'm not wasting time helping her when I could be with dad.
InfiniteSerious
That's a good idea. There will likely be people there who can help out.
AmericanSighCo
As much as you want to hurt and grieve, the reality is everyone in the situation should be secondary to those kids. Kids first, then you.
tdervish
I absolutely agree. But I'm not a guardian of these children. I can't really do much, and it's agonizing.
AmericanSighCo
Can you try and get custody? Or at least stay involved enough to be a positive force in their lives?
tdervish
I am doing the latter as much as I can. Getting custody is simply not something I can do.
Lurch1911
Be there for the kids, kids need a good father figure to explain why mom is a shitbag
tdervish
Can I do that as their aunt?
Lurch1911
My bad, I read this from my point of view, please forgive me. Still be there for the kids
tdervish
As much as I can be... I just hope that they realize someday there were some thing I just couldn't do.
Lurch1911
As they get older it'll be easier to explain; i'm sure they'll understand
tdervish
Well, my couch is always open. :)