spontaneous9
820
30
0
I feel very lucky to live here on this property. The valley floor sustains a wealth of wildlife as well as a seasonal marsh with vernal pools fed by 6 small creeks running off the steep hillside to our south.
My GF loved her garden. Rich floodplain soil made for happy vegetables. She's gone now unfortunately. MS took her from me. The artichokes and oregano are still here to remind me of her, though.
Two bucks says I can reach these leaves.
This place is so quiet. I love living on this property.
Late afternoon cumulus trying to form a thunderhead.
Bunch grasses have roots that go so deep wildfire can't kill them.
Early morning ground fog on the meadow outside my bedroom windows.
Wind took this big oak during a heavy storm. The force of gravity tore the heartwood of the trunk right in half when it fell.
Horsetail equisetum. These survivors of the Great Extinctions have been around far longer than any of our flowering plants.
Thanks for viewing. Peace, friends.
2graves
Looks lovely AF
tallyhoho
This is a beautiful little slice of heaven you have here friend
Mohareb
No wonder you live that property. It looks amazing
spontaneous9
I've been renting here for years. Never could afford a down payment on property of my own. This is my compromise.
migratingotter
Lucky you. And having a decent person as your landlord.
MaryAlicexoxo
Soooo..... You want a new gf?
spontaneous9
Did you mean, "so, you're single ...?"
Because yeah.
I'm in therapy right now for my guilt-driven depression. While I am not the kind of guy to go out looking (I have standards, and the 1st one is I require a clear invitation) I'm also absolutely true and faithful to my partner. Problem there is, there's practically nothing left of her, or at least the woman she was.
MaryAlicexoxo
Oh man, I'm so sorry :( One of my friends has ms, but since she went vegan like 10 years ago she only had a handful of bad days, so I'm hopeful she'll make one or two decades more before it get's worse. I can't imagine what it must feel like to watch the decline... Is she..responsive? So sorry for asking, idk how ms works at the later stages - but please(!) feel free to not answer none my questions, I don't want to overstep, I just can't help myself asking. Is she still in hospital or in one of/
MaryAlicexoxo
those specialized institutions where the main goal is to relieve people of pain at the dawn of their life? Sorry for the lack of better words, english is my second language. How long have you been in therapy now? Healing takes time, as well as grieving. Are you covering the theoretical stuff in therapy? My therapist doesn't, but I've been doing it even long before starting therapy and it definitely helps connecting the dots. If you're ever interested let me know, I'll find you some literature./
spontaneous9
She hit stage4 two&1/2yrs ago (bedbound & hospitalized). I was caring for her 24/7 for the 18mos prior to that, no days off, no breaks.
Much of her stage3 (wheelchair only) was during the pandemic, & prior to that she spent 3yrs indoors due to being at severe fall risk.
At this point she's paralyzed except to turn her head a little & sometimes she can lift her right hand if she tries really hard. She remembers me but her mind is gone, so she has nothing to say. It's pretty soul-crushing.
MaryAlicexoxo
idk there's been reports about people remembering the things their loved ones told them while in coma. So while she maybe cannot say something, I believe it's very much possible she hears and understands what is being said to her... As long as our brains are alive, they work, even if we're not sure of the extent...
MaryAlicexoxo
those institutions where they help people die without pain and in peace? On another note: Are you covering the theoretical stuff on grief and depression in therapy? If not, let me know - I'll find something in the depths of my phone. It still helps me so much to connect the dots between the practice in therapy with the theory. But the only real advise I can give is: Get yourself 2 kittens. They'll occupy your mind very much and help with the grief.
spontaneous9
The grief is being dealt with. Much progress has been made already. The last thing I need is more stuff to worry about, so pets would just dial up the chaos factor. I spent most of the last decade either stuck at home being unable to leave, or worried sick about what I'd find when I arrived there (because of her dementia) so creating a peaceful, stable, predictable home environment is my refuge from that. It'd be nice to feel more taken care of, for a change.